Well, I'm pretty new to the
DCL board, and I have always steered clear of controversial posts, regardless of which board I am on, but I did want to throw in my two cents on this one.
If I were to be invited to a black tie party by a friend or coworker, would it be rude of me to say, "It's a party. I want to be comfortable and let my hair down. I'm going to wear jeans and a nice blouse." I think it would be. I would be ignoring the request of my host. If this same host had said "Black Tie optional" then I feel I would be free to forego the formal attire, but if I choose to attend this party, I am in essence, choosing to follow the "theme" or intent of the party.
I believe the same goes for a formal dinner on a cruise. Whoever plans these dinner themes must obviously intend for people to dress formally, or they would have begun to leave off the "formal" description for this particular dinner. I think for someone to know ahead of time that a dinner is intended by the host to be formal and think that it doesn't apply to them and they will do things the way THEY want to is indicative of today's society (I know I'm going to take some heat for that one) .
I am a stay-at-home mom (okay, I'm not actually home that much) who has never (other than my prom) gotten a chance to dress in a formal gown. I will probably never get invited to any parties around here to wear one and I certainly can't afford to buy tickets to political fundraisers or other black-tie affairs. This cruise that I am hoping and saving to be able to go on in October 2005 will be my chanceto attend a formal event. I am looking forward to dressing up, but if the majority of people in the room are dressed casually, I will feel REALLY conspicuous and overdressed, even though I will have followed through with the requested dress for dinner.
Would I ever be rude and snub someone who didn't dress in a formal fashion? Of course not! I would look forward to the opportunity to get to know someone new. But I would feel a little silly and out of place sitting there in an evening gown while surrounded by people in polo shirts and other "vacation" attire.
I know that things happen..people forget this or luggage gets lost, but I think that's the rare incident. I think most people just have the idea..."I'm on vacation. I'm going to dress any way that I want to" regardless of the intent of the people who planned the dinner.
I expect to get thoroughly flamed for this post, but please be as kind as possible
Ialso want to say that I am looking forward to spending the next 17 months here on the cruise boards. I have already learned so much.
Lori P.