Where have people manners gone?

[RickinNYC]

On a roll now baby! I just had thought. Joe and I always, always, ALWAYS hold doors for women. Men too sometimes. But usually just the women folk.

So what is it with women that just glide through the door without a glance, nod, smile or grunt of thanks? Last I heard, we didn't have a royal family in the United States? So what is up with that?

Ladies, if a gentleman holds the door for you, smile and say "thank you."

If not, you better believe Joe or I will be tossing a "YOU'RE WELCOME" right at ya! Well, I don't yell it. I just say it loud enough that only she can hear it. But this scenario really ticks off Joe and he bellows it.

 

[momof2inPA]

I always give up my seat to anyone who seems to need it more, but this attitude seems to be the exception rather than the rule these days, unfortunately. I've even seen able-bodied people (and no they didn't have hidden disabilities, they were just plain lazy and selfish) on the subways argue with disabled people because they don't want to give up the handicapped seats.

 

[CRSNDSNY]

After reading this thread...I have to share with you all what my wonderful DH did during our last trip to WDW. (After a bunch of "rude" posts, you sometimes need to read about the goodness in some people)
[snip]
Just a RAOK I wanted to share...

EXCELLENT story, stinkerbelle! Thank you for sharing that.

 

[Hippychickali]

I think that's it's kind of ironic that the OP would call the people she talked about rude when she takes no effort to make sure her own posts aren't rude and offensive. Not only that, but those in glass houses shouldn't through stones. I mean really, Riley'smom, you got in a heated discussion with another adult about something so silly in front of your child, I don't think you have the right to critize too many about their behaviour.

It seems like you got a little road rage at Disney, methinks! I agree that most of the problem is you are not someone who seems to handle crowds well but yet decided to go during one of the most crowded times of the year. It wasn't even that people seemed to be rude to you but accidents do happen in a crowded place and its nobody's fault.

Rude behaviour is inexcusable but you can't change or control the actions of other people; you can only control and change your own actions.

Rileysmom's second post seems very disingenious and it seems to me that she is backpeddaling now that she has been shamed into feeling bad about her nasty attitude and complete insensitivity to those who aren't as privledged as herself. Rileysmom, an apology to all of those who unfortuneately need to use ECV, those stricken to wheelchairs and pretty much the entire male gender for your wild double standard would be appreciated by most I'm sure.

Ali

 

[disneyjunkie]

. I mean really, Riley'smom, you got in a heated discussion with another adult about something so silly in front of your child, I don't think you have the right to critize too many about their behaviour.
Ali

The woman pushed her son not once but twice! She never stopped to say I'm sorry. I for one think the OP had every right to be upset and say something to the woman.

 

[tjmw2727]

In response to your clarification, I do agree that Disney can improve the bus system including handling of ECV's and wheelchars and most of those who use them will agree. My sil rarely uses the bus system anymore and drives rather than face the stares of those who feel inconvenienced by her. She dosen't like the situation so she takes the action - you could do the same. If you don't like the bus system then perhaps a rental or your own car will be a better option next time.

I still disagree with your stance on the children "cutting" the line. We don't know that they cut, and frankly IMHO its none of my busness. Perhaps the parents or other family members were in the line and the child was in the shade. Perhaps the child was in MAW or had a FOTL pass. I prefer to assume that when a CM makes a decision regarding letting someone to the front of the line then they have good reason. I would not want a CM to "announce" his/her reasons, why embarrass the child or parents who are deserving according to the CM?

What I do agree with is that if you were told you were going to see the character and then didn't get your chance then the character handler did a poor job. I think your anger toward the child is misdirected in this case. In my experience it has always been pointed out exactly who the last family in line is and everyone joining the line after that is informed. Obviously that wasnt' the case in your situation but not the fault of a child but the CM who may not have been running the line properly.

Just my .02 and I hope your dd gets to meet Daisy on your next trip. I will be at WDW over the Christmas holiday and if you would like to PM me with your dd's name I will try and find an autograph for her. Not the same I know but maybe some small consolation?

Let me know and I will enable my PM's.

TJ

 

[Beca]

First...RickinNYC...I haven't seen posts from you in awhile...maybe I am hanging out on the wrong boards!! But...nice to see you!!!!

Second...I have an almost 3yr old dd...I can't imagine standing in a moving bus carrying her! And, as far as pregnant women go...they really do need to be sitting on a moving vehicle. Some pg women might not even realize this, but as Relaxin enters your bloodstream to allow your ligaments to soften enough for bones to move, and a baby to come out (TMI, I know), the ligaments all over your body "loosen". That is why pg women become very clumsy. Add the "new weight and balance" issues...it's just not safe. I HATED feeling helpless when I was pg. I lifted things, and moved things right up until I started bleeding at 18 weeks because of "excessive activity"...then I sobbed and prayed the whole time I thought I was losing my dd...I just couldn't believe I was that "fragile". Many pg women would never ask or expect you to give up your seat...I do it for the baby, not for them. If they were like me...many don't know their own limitations.

People with mobility issues...the same thing...be nice, and help them out. And people carrying kids...that's just scary all the way around. But, with healthy people who don't give up their seat...I think it is funny. When I was a flight attendant, I once heard a crew member ask the hotel van driver how far the workout room was from her room. She said she wouldn't go work out if it was "too far from my room...I just HATE walking great distances to get there." I asked what she did in the workout room, and she said, "Oh, I just walk on the treadmill."

People stand in line all day, walk all day...and then complain about standing in a bus? Too funny!!

Maybe I am just a total optimist, but, I think that people are basically good, and maybe some of this perceived rudeness is really people just into themselves and their vacation, and not noticing those around them. Or, maybe its just people "not thinking". Even noticing or talking to a pg woman doesn't mean that, if you are tired or distracted that you will think, "I should give up my seat to her." I think the bus driver that asked about "how many gentlemen are on board" probably had the right idea. If I was on the bus and was not holding my dd, I would've stood if I perceived the need...and, I am certainly no gentleman.

But, here's the bottom line....courtesy is something that, by it's very nature can only be offered. It cannot be demanded. By requesting or demanding...one changes the nature of the "gift". To get upset over it is silly, and frankly a waste of time. Some people get it, others do not. We do not have to be chivalrous or kind to live in this country (or WDW), but we certainly enjoy the "ride" much more when we are surrounded by those who are.

There are many, many bothersome things at WDW. There are also many wonderful things as well. I remember a story told to me when I was a little girl. An elderly man ran a gas station on a highway. People often stopped to ask directions, or advice. One day a man stopped and said, "I am headed east. What kind of people will I find in the next town?" The elderly man said, "Well, what kind of people were in the town you came from?". The man replied, "They were nasty, mean back-stabbers." The owner said, "Ohh, well I am sorry to say they are just like that in the next town also."

Later in the day, another car going in the same direction pulled up. The driver got out and asked the same question. When the owner asked about the people living in the town that the driver just left, the man replied, "Oh, they were wonderful, kind, hard-working people." To which the elderly man replied, "Well, I am happy to tell you that the people in the next town are exactly like those in the town that you left. You're gonna love it there!"

Sometimes...it's just what you see.

I hope everyone has wonderful trips to WDW!!!!



Beca

 

[hellooothere]

What a wonderful post Beca!

 

[MauraAndIainsDad]

I know what you mean about rudeness! We were there last week as well and had at least one incident where I had to speak up. We were a bit late for Festival of the Lion King at AK and had to wait at the entrance to make sure that there was room. We had 10 people in our party including kids aged 11,9,8 & 7. We were all holdings hands shoulders, etc. to keep from getting separated but this rude lady and her family of 4 were apparently afraid that they would be left out of the show and kept pushing my DD-11 and separating me from her. I finally had enough and asked her to stop pushing and separating my family. When we finally were able to enter, we told the CM that we were a party of 10 and she pushed in with us, separating my brother-in-law and 7 year old nephew from the rest of our group. I had to turn around again and let the CM know that our party had been separated or the last of our group would have been left out! Sheesh!!!

 

[DisDarling]

Sadly this will be my first post here, but after reading this thread, I had to speak up. I am a MOTHER of an almost make a wish child, thankfully my daughter got better and we didnt qualify. We will be taking her for her first trip this Feb. 2005 and I would be APPALLED if I saw a mother "mad" at my daughter because her children missed out. First off, it is SO IMPORTANT to show your child compassion towards others, I cant stress this enough! We were not upset that we didnt get the make a wish trip, we were happy that our child would be well enough to not qualify, and that another child who could fill our daughters spot would! You and I will have our children in years to come, most of those parents wont. With that said, how important does your kids seeing Daisy REALLY matter to you now?
DisDarling

 

[Hippychickali]

The woman pushed her son not once but twice! She never stopped to say I'm sorry. I for one think the OP had every right to be upset and say something to the woman.

I didn't say she shouldn't have said something to the lady. It's the heated argument that I don't agree with. Also, the woman (as rude as she may have been) may not have realized in her self-absorption that she pushed the child. Nobody ever has the right to verbally argue in front of their children, IMO. Again, you can't control what someone else does but you can certainly control how you act and react.

Ali

 

[CheshireVal]

About the bus situation: I'm a healthy 30 year old woman. Men don't EVER stand up to offer me their seats and I don't really expect them to (though it WOULD be nice ) To be fair, I don't stand up and offer people my seat either, unless it's an extreme situation of a mother/baby or elderly person.

I'm from the South and am used to a certain amount of chivalry from men, but I think it would be a bit much to have every man stand on the bus every time!

What REALLY annoys me, though, is when someone will plop their 2 year old child down on a seat all to themselves on a really crowded bus when tons of people are standing. I *hate* that.

 

[Castlebound]

I think that the CM that was with Daisy could have handled things better. They could have went to a spot in line and said this is the last person. After that person had their photo the CM could have called over the two kids in the wheelchairs. Why be upset with the kids in the wheelchairs? They were doing what the CM told them to do.

They were not doing the balloon thing when we were there in Sept. 2003. My kids really wanted to see Mickey, so we waited in line to see Mickey. There was a mom with one little girl standing infront of us. When their turn came up four or five kids came out of nowhere to get their photo with Mickey also. They were all with the mom and little girl but where not in line. The CM let all them get pictures and autographes. By time they were finished it was time for Mickey to leave. Yes I was upset, but I was upset that the CM didn't tell the other kids that if they wanted time with Mickey that they needed to wait in line. Yep, I'm one of those people who hates line jumpers.

Our kids sat on our laps when the buses where full. When they were really full my DH and DS(6 at the time) stood. I do not agree that when someone gets on an already full bus that they expect for someone to get up for them. If they really want a seat they should be one of the first people on the next bus. If they need a seat all the more reason to wait for the next bus.

 

[DrTomorrow]

[...] Some pg women might not even realize this, but as Relaxin enters your bloodstream to allow your ligaments to soften enough for bones to move, and a baby to come out [...]

Beca

I promise, Beca, that "if the baby starts to come out", I'll definitely give up my seat!

 

[Mortlives]

Maybe, as a matter of courtesy, when the buses are full, wives should sit on their husband's laps. Err - not to be sexist or exclusionary in any way, small sweeties sit on larger sweeties' laps.

Kungaloosh!
Morticia.

 

[GoofyPrincess]

OK - I'll get on my flame vest...

I agree that kids in wheelchairs deserve first dibs on everything. If they can deal with the hell of living in a chair, I can certainly deal with waiting a little longer - and so can my kids. I don't think it's fair that children that have waited should get cut off because children in a wheelchair got to cut in line. Yes, let the wheelchairs go first, but establish who was there first and have the character stay until those kids get through too. It would only be a few extra minutes for the character and everyone would get a turn.

 

[jgmklmhem]

I agree that people can be rude at times and I think that crowd size definately correlates to how much of it you will see. I have to chime in on the giving up a seat part of this thread. I am a fairly healthy 27yo guy and I will wait most often so that I can get a seat on a bus after a long day. I have had my ankle broken 3 times (old soccer injuries) and sometimes at the end of a long day I need a seat. As someone earlier posted a pregnant woman shouldn't be standing on a bus or someone holding a child.....but as I do they can normally wait for a less crowded bus (yes there are exceptions), If someone feels like they are entitled to a seat for whatever reason...wait for it like the rest of us. Now normally I will give up my seat and if I know it will be crowded I don't even sit down...like on the boats going to WL after Wishes if my ankle can take it. What really chapped my hide though was last Dec I had waited for the next boat so I could get a seat and then once the boat was full I noticed a very pregnant woman get on...(I felt bad for her) I asked her if she wanted my seat and she said yes....but as I got up a 50yo looking guy slid in and took it pretty much right from under me. Well needless to say the pregnant woman laid into him and a CM finally came over and asked the guy to stand. It was a very interesting turn of events.

 

[NCDisneyMom]

On a roll now baby! I just had thought. Joe and I always, always, ALWAYS hold doors for women. Men too sometimes. But usually just the women folk.

So what is it with women that just glide through the door without a glance, nod, smile or grunt of thanks? Last I heard, we didn't have a royal family in the United States? So what is up with that?

Ladies, if a gentleman holds the door for you, smile and say "thank you."

If not, you better believe Joe or I will be tossing a "YOU'RE WELCOME" right at ya! Well, I don't yell it. I just say it loud enough that only she can hear it. But this scenario really ticks off Joe and he bellows it.

Especially if the "man" holding the door is only 4-years-old! My son and I went shopping this weekend, and as we were leaving with our cart of goodies, my son ran to open the door for me. After I exited, he stood there for a few more moments to hold it open for two "ladies" entering the store. They just sauntered right in without even a glance at him. As they entered I said to my son "Sweetie, say 'you're welcome'", and just before the door shut, he turned and said "But Mommy, they didn't say thank you!". I hope they heard him, although I doubt they would care. It irks me when someone doesn't say 'thank you' to me (especially when I've held the door for one person, and a dozen people all file through), but do NOT be rude to my child! lol

Diana

 

[rileyroosmom]

you said it much better than I did, that is what I wish would have happened.

 

[rileyroosmom]

Hippychickali- first off, you don't know a thing about me and shouldn't summize me from one post. I did not get in a heated disscusion with the women, I let her know she was pushing my son and didn't like it...if you let others push your kids around, oh well. Second...you shouldn't assume how I handle crowds, I don't have a problem with them as long as everyone behaves, pushing children and beeping scooter horns leave me angry. Lastly, how dare you call me priveliged and insensitive. Again, you know nothing about me or my situation. I find on these boards if one person says something negative or not to Disney standards (ie, the heated mug and more than 4 people in a room debate) all hell breaks out. This is America and people are intitled to their opinions wether you agree or not. You have no right to call people names, which is what YOU did.. I own no apologies for my opinion, you do for name calling.