Where have people manners gone?

[Tigger&Belle]

Personally, if I had a BF who refused to give his seat up for anyone, especially an elderly person or a very pregnant woman, the BF would never become my DH. As far as giving up a seat for a younger non/pregnant woman, I can't say that I blame him. I'm able to stand as well as a man (until my hips totally give out on me), but I would never dream of making an elderly person stand while I sit. My guilt would last much longer than the bus ride...

T&B

 

[iwannabeminnie]

OP, I respectfully disagree with you and to those who insulted her personally or attacked her character I respectfully disagree with you.

I couldn't have said it better myself. Thank you dwkwootton.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

WillCAD, I agree that it takes very little to either hold the door open for someone or pass the door to someone instead of letting it slam in their face. I actually had to teach my MIL how to do this even though you'd think it was common sense (why is it called common sense if it's not so common?). She's never considered that it's rude to let a door slam.

Offering a helping hand is polite behavior, period. I was at Wal-Mart on black Friday and a woman was trying to drive an ECV, which must have died on her (it was a Wal-Mart scooter). I asked her if there was anything that I could do to help. Cost me a second of my time (she didn't need help), made me feel good, and she knew someone was willing to take time out of their shopping to help a stranger. Win/win situation!

My 4yo has started holding the door open for strangers. I can't say that I taught him to do it, but he figured out that it's a nice thing to do (and he's a little "politician" and loved to work a crowd ). Shows that kids learn what they are shown--we are role models, afterall.

T&B

 

[DrTomorrow]

My late father was brought up to be polite: stand and take your hat off when a lady enters the room; pull out a chair for a lady; hold the door open for a lady; offer your seat to any woman or the elderly; offer to light a lady's cigarette (OK, he was born in 1920). Sadly, he had many horror stories from the 60's when he was chastised by women when he offered a light, pulled out a chair or held open a door.

I was brought up to be polite: hold the door open for a lady; offer your seat to any woman or the elderly. Sadly, the number of times I've been yelled at for doing so ("I can open my own door!"; "I can stand as well as any man"; "Do I look so old that I need your seat?"; "Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I'm an invalid") is well into the double digits.

I brought my son up to be polite: hold open door; offer your seat. Sadly, I've warned him that it will often result in abuse.

Courtesy at WDW - as in the "real world" - is an evolving thing. Women want equal treatment; being older no longer means being "elderly"; pregnancy is not a disability, but a natural state. As society changes, so does expected behaviour.

That said, I'll continue to hold open a door and/or offer my seat....

 

[Jennasis]

I agree with the posters who said that a man has every right to sit (or even have a door held for him) as a woman does. When it comes to the sick, elderly, or pregnant then yes I would say both men women and able bodied children should give up their seats.

Rudeness is everywhere, and if the only instances of rudeness you experienced was a nutter accidentally shoving your kid to get to Buzz, then you are lucky indeed.

As for the wheelchair issue...walk (or roll) a mile in their shoes. Since you have NO idea what the health issues of those children are I wouldn't dare to accuse them of getting preferential treatment. That kid could be dying for all you know! However, I do for the most part agree that those with wheelchairs should be treated the same as the rest of us (and for the most part they are). If I saw a wheelchair bound person brought to the front of the line I would naturally assume they require it for health reasons or have earned that spot because of a terminal health issue.

 

[llggood]

Are you crazy? My child suffers from Autism 365 days a year and yes he gets a pass to go to the front of the line for character greetings if he can stay the crowds which is not very often. Yes he looks normal. All I can say is try dealing with a disease which effects your child for life and see if you are a little more compassionate. You have the nerve to gripe about manners!

 

[CRSNDSNY]

I refuse to visit Disney during busy times because rudest seems escalated by the sheer volume of park-goers.

Nobody knows what is going on inside of other people. For every 'rude' person out there, 10 selfless people exist.

I bite my tongue and think of the people who are kind. Not everyone is rude or intend to be rude. It is easy in tense situations to catch people at their worst.

Pay it forward.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

You have no idea what rude is until you run into a Brazilian tour group. I know it's not PC to say that, but after 31 on site-stays at WDW, they stand out in my mind.

I may get flamed too, but I totally agree with this. We have had our own experience with this. I agree the scooters are out of hand. I almost got run over at DTD by someone who knew what he did and kind of snidely smiled at me after he did it. Believe me, I let him have it. DH was embarrassed. And with the kids in wheelchairs. Have some heart. I see those children and always thank God mine are healthy. There is more to life than a characters autograph.

 

[jeancbpugh]

First, where are the gentlemen? I can't believe how many men sat on the bus while older women or women holding children stood. My sons 11 and 7 know don't sit down unless every women is sitting first.

This started me thinking: if chivalry toward women grew out of women being a protected (and non-voting etc.) class, should chivalry die out as women act more as equals in society? Interesting thought...
__________________
Jean

 

[jokan]

On our recent trip a bus ride got crowded and at a particular bus stop a lot of small children got on. The bus driver Oscar (who was absolutley hilarious) asked how many gentlemen he had on his bus. Before he said anything my brother and I and his 13 yr old son was already up. A man with 4 small children told them to take our seats then he went to the back of the bus and sat down himself leaving several woman and other small children standing up.

That night while leaving Fastasmic my Brothers GF was carrying her 16 month old when a guy tripped her nearly knocking her to the ground his reply was " out of the way b***h" Thankfully, no one was hurt, she had gotten seperated from the rest of us so we didnt see it or someone would have been seriously hurt.

Earlier that week while at the MK my DW and DS was walking along when the people in front of us suddenly stopped as did we to avoid collision, the guy behind me says that he was pushing a stroller and I better be careful or I would be in a stroller permanently.

I was born and raised in the South and most southerners (not all) are raised with a certain level of respect for other people. We are taught to be polite regardless of others demeanors and always show respect by saying Sir, Maam and thank you. We are taught about honor and the repercussions for dishonor, whether you dishonor someone or are dishonored yourself. I can tell you both of those days were very difficult for me and had it not been for the love of my wife and son those days would have had diffrent outcomes. I wonder do they server those wonderful mickey mouse waffles in Disney Jail?

 

[disneyjunkie]

QUOTE=jokan]
I was born and raised in the South and most southerners (not all) are raised with a certain level of respect for other people. We are taught to be polite regardless of others demeanors and always show respect by saying Sir, Maam and thank you. We are taught about honor and the repercussions for dishonor, whether you dishonor someone or are dishonored yourself. /QUOTE]

I was raised in the north and we're also taught manners and respect. For the most part we don't say maam and sir,(I only say it when I'm visiting family in SC or if I'm speaking to an elderly person that's from the south)but we do say yes, please, pardon me, excuse me...

I don't believe anyone wasn't ever taught manners, some people just decide to leave their manners home when they go on vacation.

 

[stinkerbelle]

After reading this thread...I have to share with you all what my wonderful DH did during our last trip to WDW. (After a bunch of "rude" posts, you sometimes need to read about the goodness in some people)

We were at DTD Marketplace waiting for our bus to POFQ. We saw this woman traveling with 2 small kids and an elderly woman in a wheel chair. When the bus came up, the elderly woman got out of the wheel chair to board the bus, and the other woman went to close up the chair and get her kids on the bus (no easy feat.) as other people were rushing to get on the bus.

DH stepped up, took the chair from her, and carried it onto the bus for her and held it during the bus ride.

Remember - POR and POFQ share a bus - sometimes you never know which resort the bus will stop at first.

We stopped at POFQ first...our resort...DH told me to get off here as he was going to ride to the other resort (where the woman was staying) to help her get the chair off the bus and that he would walk back.

I thought that was so sweet of him to help...so I stayed on the bus. Luckily, the woman and her family got off at the first stop, so it wasn't a far walk for us at all...but she was so appreciative of it.

Just a RAOK I wanted to share...

 

[DizBelle]

Just back yesterday from our Thanksgiving trip and I am amazed at the rudness of people. First, where are the gentlemen? I can't believe how many men sat on the bus while older women or women holding children stood. My sons 11 and 7 know don't sit down unless every women is sitting first. Also, how about holding your kid on your lap so eveyone can sit. I had my 11 yr old, 5' 5'' son sitting on my knee so not to take up a space. Second gripe is people pushing. MK was very crowded Friday. As we were going down the alley (for lack of a better term) to get in line to see Buzz this women was running down the alley and pushed my ds7 out of the way. The crowd thickened so we caught up to her and he got in front of her and again she bumped him into the wall. I said loudly, "stop pushing" she turned around and said "are you talking to me" I said" yes, you pushed my son twice now" back and forth we went, my ds11 was embarrassed. I couldn't believe an adult was running to get to a character. I'm sure she didn't set out to push him but come on!! Last gripe, people stopping in their tracks to talk, look at the map, look around, etc. Move to the side!!!! Oh yeah, I may get flamed but here goes....most of those scooter riders are ridculous. One man was behind me in the crowd at MGM just blowing his horn...did he want us to all go away? Waiting in the rain at the bus stop to load scooter riders on the bus only to see them get off it and move from one seat to another while everyone else waits. Lastly, I have to say I thank God for my healthy children, but why is a child in a wheelchair more important than my children? We kept trying to get Daisy Duck's autograph for my dd3 and kept missing her. Finally got in a line outside of castle and waited. CM announced 5 more minutes. Suddenly 2 children in wheelchairs were pushed to the front of the line to see Daisy and by the time they (and a few others in line) were done, Daisy left. I just didn't think that was fair. I see no reason why they can't wait like everyone else. You may not agree, JMO.

1. If you want a seat on a bus that has standing room only, wait for the next bus. I don't think anyone rude for not wanting to give up their seat that they waited for. I think it is rude to expect someone to give up their seat to you.

2. There is no reason that an adult shouldn't get a picture with and/or autograph of a character. This person's behavior was questionable but their desire to meet the character shouldn't be disregarded.

3. If Disney is going to honor the Make A Wish wishes then perhaps they should have a special character meeting time for all of those participating. That way, the wish kids would get extra special time with the characters and the kids that stood in line wouldn't feel that they got shafted out of their opportunity to meet their favorite character.

4. We don't know anything about rileyroosmom's situation. Just because her kids are healthy doesn't mean that they will most definitely be coming back and have another chance to meet Daisy. Healthy kids does not always mean multiple trips to WDW. Here's what rileyroosmom knows: Her dd3 wanted to meet Daisy and didn't. Her child was disappointed and there is no picture capturing her meeting her favorite character. I'm sure she feels for the children with medical conditions. But that doesn't mean that her own child's wishes should be overlooked.

 

[rileyroosmom]

I think my original post did not come across the right way. I totally understand that many people in scooters are using them only because the distance in WDW is great. What I think needs some changing on the WDW buses is how they handle scooter riders. I think there should be some way to (and I don't know what it is) to load the scooters differently and if you are able to get off the scooter to sit down, then do it. We stood in the rain while a family with 3 older members loaded on the scooters then they got off them on the bus and changed seats 2-3 times until they were setteled. I think there should be a better way of handling the situation. I also agree with the posts about rude strollers. As a person who pushed one, I am amazed at the people who will just walk in front of it. I was tempted to bump one or two. Just so you all don't think I am totally rude and unsympathetic, I always stopped to let the scooters and other stroller pushers to go by because I do understand how frustrating it is in the crowds.

As for the wheelchair children....I NEVER said anything to my children or other members in my party. I teach my children to be thankful for their health, to not stare at others with a disability and try to explain others misfortunes to them. I thank God for my helathy children and am very grateful for what we have. My point is, if that is Disney's rule about Make a Wish children (which is a charity I donate to each year, btw) then the cast member who is running the line should quietly tell the people in line why the person is "cutting" the line. Without making a judgement about people, which is something many of you on this board like to do, I believe the girl who cut in line had only a broken leg. Yes, she could be terminal, but she looked healthy except for the cast, I won't judge her. As for my 3year old waiting for her "imaginary" duck autograph, when you are 3 these things are important to you, isn't it part of the reason we bring our children to WDW for the magic and imaginary wonderfulness of the place? All children are important, healthy or not and I resent you saying that about my child. I did not make a stink or say a thing when the child cut the line, that's not my style. I think Disney can handle situations better.

 

[trampslady]

I have to chime in regarding giving up seats. I am fortunate enough to be married to one of the most generous (to a fault) men in the world. He is constantly looking for ways to assist others--particularly children and older people. That said, if men were to give up their seat everytime there was a child, woman, or senior standing on a Disney bus, they would NEVER sit down onboard a Disney bus. I kinda agree with the poster who said wait for another bus if you don't want to stand--we've done it on many evenings when we've been especially tired. Virtually every bus is going to have standing room only during busy times at WDW. Call me selfish, but I'd like to sit with my husband on occasion.

 

[disneyjunkie]

I'm amazed by the number of people that will get on a crowded bus and then complain about having to stand.

 

[Ilovestitch]

I have to chime in regarding giving up seats. I am fortunate enough to be married to one of the most generous (to a fault) men in the world. He is constantly looking for ways to assist others--particularly children and older people. That said, if men were to give up their seat everytime there was a child, woman, or senior standing on a Disney bus, they would NEVER sit down onboard a Disney bus. I kinda agree with the poster who said wait for another bus if you don't want to stand--we've done it on many evenings when we've been especially tired. Virtually every bus is going to have standing room only during busy times at WDW. Call me selfish, but I'd like to sit with my husband on occasion.

I agree 100%!

 

[tar heel]

If an elderly woman OR MAN or a woman OR MAN holding a small child is standing on the bus, then someone should get up and give them a seat -- it's totally irrelevant whether the person who gets up is male or female. I don't think decency should be limited to "gentlemen" nor do I think one has to be female to get some help from a stranger.

I'm a middle-aged woman, and I've given up my seat plenty of times. I also had a man once insist that I take his seat, and, while it was a nice thing for him to do, it was totally unnecessary.

 

[rileyroosmom]

I never complained about having to stand. I and my sons gave up our seats to others and I had a man give me his seat while I was holding my sleeping 3 year old. I am amazed that a grown man will sit while a elderly, pregnant or woman (or man) holding a child stands. Yes, you don't have to get on that crowded bus, yes, woman's equal rights, yes, we all paid a lot of money to be there and should have a seat, blah, blah blah.....We all know offering up a seat is the RIGHT thing to do. The person who was offered the seat has the right to decline. It all comes down to manners.

 

[RickinNYC]

About the OP's comment that healthy people (MEN) should give up their seats on a crowded bus, I tend to agree to a very limited point. We're discriminating in who we do so and that would be obviously pregnant women, the disabled, the elderly and parents with armloads of children. That doesn't make us gentlemen, that makes us civil. But no apologies, if you're a thirty year old woman in seemingly good health, I aint budgin'.

And might I add that perfectly healthy women should do the same thing? GET UP and give your seat to someone who needs it! Don't pull the "woman" card and think that the guy across from you needs to get up simply because you're a woman. If he is inclined, he will. And if it's me or Joe, we will. But if he doesn't, then you should do it.

But might I also add something else? Just because someone looks like they're perfectly healthy does not mean that they are. I am 38 but look younger than my age. And I also suffer from some pretty severe and frequent gout attacks. Yeah, if I'm in the midst of one, I won't be riding a shuttle in WDW, believe me. I'll be laying in my resort room, complaining to Joe about the pain, and making him run errands for me. But consider that. Young guy, good health, good shape, but can't stand, let alone walk. You never, ever know.

Now, I thought I'd share a story about a woman who definitely was NOT a gentleman, let alone a lady! Joe and I were coming back from the Magic Kingdom one evening. The bus was PACKED to the gills but we were sitting. We had offered our seats a couple of times but both times were politely declined. So this woman hops on the bus through the back entrance (big no-no) and proceeds to squeeze herself right next to me (I'm on the aisle). She's younger than me, was in great physical shape so far as I could see, wasn't pregnant, no kids, no obvious physical problems (she hopped on the bus and elbowed her way around to prove that she didn't have problems in my mind). And what does she do? She glares right at me, and then at Joe and loudly starts saying, "It would be nice if SOME men gave up their seat for a lady!"

No kidding. Very loudly too! Joe just rolls his eyes and won't budge. I decided that I'm not going to either simply because the chick was rude and obnoxious. (oh, another rule we have is if someone actually asks us if they can sit in our seat, we always let them... if they have to ask, then they really need it more than we do) I sit there. Joe sits there. She says it LOUDLY again! No joke! "MEN should give up their seats for a LADY!"

Before I could respond or get up or do the two step, an older woman in front of me turns around and politely says, "They're gentleman. You are NOT a lady." To which I snorted with laughter, Joe bellowed and hooted, and just about everyone around us pretty much pointed and stared. Scene right out of Carrie!

Takes all kinds o' people to make the world spin on its axis!