When a Parent Dies and Loser Siblings Come Looking for Money

[TAX GUY]

Well, there is what is supposed to happen, and there is what is really happening. Interesting you mention additional tax obligations because those, and additional legal and accounting fees prompted by the delay in the final distribution are what is most frustrating to the guy who is the executor. All I know is every step the executor has taken to settle the estate could not happen without the attorney and CPA signing off on it. THEY has been the only roadblock to final settlement for over a year. And every phone call to the attorney prompts a bill for $450 to the estate. And the CPA for one of beneficiaries of the estate.....a non-profit.....says it sure looks like the delays have no legal basis, they are just designed to generate more billable hours. Oh, and he is donating his services to the non-profit to deal with the inheritance.

There is nothing for a CPA to "sign off" for an estate. They prepare a/the tax return, if required, and that's the only document that gets signed.

Attorney's are a different animal, and yes, they typically bill in 10 minute increments.

I'm also willing to bet there's something lost in translation with your example. From the mouth of the attorney and/or CPA, to the executor, to the other beneficiaries, and then to you (an unrelated third party, only hearing one (part) side of the story.

Non-profit still have reporting and possible tax obligations, so incurring fees shouldn't be any different. A friend's family had an estate "active" for nearly 20 years before it was finally settled. It had nothing to do with the CPA or attorney, and everything to do with the legal matters of the deceased.

 

[tvguy]

There is nothing for a CPA to "sign off" for an estate. They prepare a/the tax return, if required, and that's the only document that gets signed.

Attorney's are a different animal, and yes, they typically bill in 10 minute increments.

I'm also willing to bet there's something lost in translation with your example. From the mouth of the attorney and/or CPA, to the executor, to the other beneficiaries, and then to you (an unrelated third party, only hearing one (part) side of the story.

Non-profit still have reporting and possible tax obligations, so incurring fees shouldn't be any different. A friend's family had an estate "active" for nearly 20 years before it was finally settled. It had nothing to do with the CPA or attorney, and everything to do with the legal matters of the deceased.

I am on the board of directors of the non-profit so I am a related party. Yes, we have filed all the necessary state and federal tax forms, Secretary of State filings. We are involved because we will get another distribution when the Attorney and CPA finally allow the estate to settle. And our counsel and CPA are the ones raising the red flag on the foot dragging. Another non-profit who also will be getting a second distribution upon settlement......through THEIR lawyer and CPA has inquired if we would like to consider joining them to take action to force the estate Attorney and CPA to allow finally settlement.
So as they say, it IS complicated.

 

[TAX GUY]

I am on the board of directors of the non-profit so I am a related party. Yes, we have filed all the necessary state and federal tax forms, Secretary of State filings. We are involved because we will get another distribution when the Attorney and CPA finally allow the estate to settle. And our counsel and CPA are the ones raising the red flag on the foot dragging. Another non-profit who also will be getting a second distribution upon settlement......through THEIR lawyer and CPA has inquired if we would like to consider joining them to take action to force the estate Attorney and CPA to allow finally settlement.
So as they say, it IS complicated.

OK, you're right. Sounds like the organization you're a member of is one of those beneficiaries getting...... weird, for your share of the assets. All the best with the (speedy) resolution of the estate.

 

[tvguy]

OK, you're right. Sounds like the organization you're a member of is one of those beneficiaries getting...... weird, for your share of the assets. All the best with the (speedy) resolution of the estate.

LOL. No, we are the PATIENT beneficiary. The OTHER charity is the one pushing. Oh, and the executor of the estate is about ready to quit......except that would probably generate more legal and accounting feeds to the estate.

 

[Kennywood]

This will probably sound immodest, but c'est la vie.

My brother and I were brought up completely differently than other children apparently. We both told our parents that we truly hoped they would spend all their money on themselves. They brought up my brother and I to be able to take care of ourselves. Our mother once told us that she expected my brother and I to fight over the things that were left. "Mom wanted you to have it, so you take it. No! mom wanted YOU to have it, so YOU take it!"

After both of our parents were gone, we didn't fight after all. Lol

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

This will probably sound immodest, but c'est la vie.

My brother and I were brought up completely differently than other children apparently. We both told our parents that we truly hoped they would spend all their money on themselves. They brought up my brother and I to be able to take care of ourselves. Our mother once told us that she expected my brother and I to fight over the things that were left. "Mom wanted you to have it, so you take it. No! mom wanted YOU to have it, so YOU take it!"

After both of our parents were gone, we didn't fight after all. Lol

I don't personally know many families who actually talk much about financial inheritance in the form of cold cash but when you die there are things that usually have to be settled, often property like a house a car sometimes and then all the random stuff in there. Spending money while you're alive does not mean you division of attests or fulfilling financial obligations doesn't happen once you pass away.

It's nice that you and your sibling had no desire to duke it out with each other.

 

[HeatherC]

Going through this a bit now with one brother. My Mom passed three years ago and he keeps texting/asking about her “estate”. Her estate is a shared estate with my Dad and everything was jointly owned with right of survivorship. So until my Dad passes, no one receives anything.

For some reason he thinks he was screwed out of money. He also walked out on his wife and kids years ago and is now trying to find out exactly what is in my Dad’s estate under the guise of setting up a trust for his kids. Total bs since he barely works and has no assets. He also doesn’t visit or even call my dad.
My parents have a size able estate, but he fails to see that it is THEIR money and no one is entitled to anything. Anything received will be a gift which the rest of us are already extremely grateful for.

I just don’t understand people.

 

[WEDWDW]

Going through this a bit now with one brother. My Mom passed three years ago and he keeps texting/asking about her “estate”. Her estate is a shared estate with my Dad and everything was jointly owned with right of survivorship. So until my Dad passes, no one receives anything.

For some reason he thinks he was screwed out of money. He also walked out on his wife and kids years ago and is now trying to find out exactly what is in my Dad’s estate under the guise of setting up a trust for his kids. Total bs since he barely works and has no assets. He also doesn’t visit or even call my dad.
My parents have a size able estate, but he fails to see that it is THEIR money and no one is entitled to anything. Anything received will be a gift which the rest of us are already extremely grateful for.

I just don’t understand people.

Special place....

 

[barkley]

what got me on one of the 'estates' (hate that term-makes it start off sounding grand and substantial even if starting out it's in the red ) we dealt with was a family member's repeated questions of 'but where is all the money???', 'what did she do with all the money???'. ummmmm do you you know about some kind of money noone else knows of? do you not work in the same industry as the deceased did and have intimate knowledge of the average salary that was sufficient to provide for a family on but not prone to tremendous savings? did you and your sibs not attend the same private schools that you sent your own kids to and openly complained was difficult financially on your household's income (with less than half as many kids as your parents provided for)? forgotten the financial help you and your now adult kids got from the grandparents from time to time?....if you know of some source of money that could be tapped to pay for some expenses please be forthcoming.

if someone lived a simple paycheck to paycheck life the odds are not in your favor that there's a vast hidden 'estate' you've been named an heir to.

 

[QueenIsabella]

what got me on one of the 'estates' (hate that term-makes it start off sounding grand and substantial even if starting out it's in the red ) we dealt with was a family member's repeated questions of 'but where is all the money???', 'what did she do with all the money???'. ummmmm do you you know about some kind of money noone else knows of? do you not work in the same industry as the deceased did and have intimate knowledge of the average salary that was sufficient to provide for a family on but not prone to tremendous savings? did you and your sibs not attend the same private schools that you sent your own kids to and openly complained was difficult financially on your household's income (with less than half as many kids as your parents provided for)? forgotten the financial help you and your now adult kids got from the grandparents from time to time?....if you know of some source of money that could be tapped to pay for some expenses please be forthcoming.

if someone lived a simple paycheck to paycheck life the odds are not in your favor that there's a vast hidden 'estate' you've been named an heir to.

Yeah, it was very similar with my brother Mooch, who I mentioned above. Does he not remember growing up, poor to lower-middle-class? (some years were better than others, but we were never rolling in it) Our dad working his vacation, so he would get double-pay to cover our Catholic school tuition? Our mom did get a nice chunk when she sold our childhood home, but then needed care when she got diagnoses with dementia. In the end, the four of us each inherited ~$25k, which was approximately $25k more than I was expecting. Our mom did express that she wanted to leave something to her kids (when she sold the house). I pointed out that her "kids" were independent adults, and she should use the money for her own comfort and needs. She...bought herself one of those "lift chairs". That was it. I was grateful she had enough to cover her medical needs in her end stages, and could go into a nicer nursing home.