What Would You Think If You Were Attending This Wedding...?

[The Mystery Machine]

Yea...I would go with whatever you are able to afford.

I have never been to Vegas.... I want to go though.

As far as the drinks, eh....champagne to toast sounds fine.
Afterwards I would think people would expect you two pair off... So I wouldn't go making elaborate plans for after the wedding. Keep it light.

If you do plan something for after the wedding, you are obligated to pay if it is a show or something with an ticket. So don't plan it, if you don't want to pay for it.

Now if you all make a plan together at the Buffet place on the spur of the moment, then you can apply different etiquette, since people can decline if they do not want to go.

 

[jagafen]

After the ceremony and dinner I would think that the wedding were over and I could do what ever I wanted. My issue is having guests pay for their own drinks. If they are my guest, I pay. No flames please, just my opinion.

No flames from me....I agree with you completely!!

My hubby and I had a destination wedding as well....follwed by appetizers and an open bar for 3 hours before the ship set sail.....approx 30 guests came down for the wedding. We also invited all of our guests to the "rehersal" dinner since everyone had traveled from PA/NJ/DE to FL to attend our wedding. My father and I split the bill for that though. (Groom's parents were stuck at PHL) I think one should consider the additional expense the guests entail with airfare/hotels, etc when an out of town/desitination wedding is planned. I tried to be a gracious hostess, within our budget constraints.

 

[Oreo Cookie]

Congtratulations!

We had friends that got married at the MB Chapel in 2000. The MD did a really nice job, and they also had beautiful pictures from their special day.

What buffet are you planning to do? I've been to a few, and I do think the buffet at Bellagio does a wonderful job.

I agree with other posters about the drinks, I would cover the dinner and the drinks, but in the end it is your choice. I just don't think the extra costs will be that much. You might want to call the hotel ahead of time, and they will run a bill for you. It's not like dinner will go on for hours and hours, so the cost of the drinks really won't be all that much.

As far as entertainment afterwards, I don't think you need to arrange anything. I would tell everyone where the two of you are planning to hang out if they want to come with you.

The Mix lounge is a great place to hang out afterwards, it has a wonderful atmosphere and the view is spectacular.

 

[disykat]

It's your wedding and I think your plan sounds lovely. I don't see any reason why the fact you are getting married means you need to provide an evening of unlimited alcohol. I think whatever comes with the buffet and a free round of drinks from the bar sounds great.

I'm sure if people need more alcohol in order to make attending your wedding seem "reasonable" they'll be able to find something in Vegas! In fact, you're keeping it an early night so there will be plenty of time for them to go off on their own and enjoy their night as they choose.

 

[Pigeon]

I know you didn't ask, but I'm going to say it anyway. People are traveling to go to your wedding you need to feed them and "water" them. You should cover the dinner in its entirety including tips. Especially since you're only talking about 15 people. You can probably arrange it with the restaurant to have certain types of liquor though so that people aren't ordering the most expensive champagne on your tab.

ITA.

 

[JR6ooo4]

I would rather have the dancing and usual garter/bouqet stuff than a comedy act or some other show. If they want a show they can go to the specific type they want anywhere in vegas.

Mikeeee

oh and congrats!

 

[wilderness01]

I know you didn't ask, but I'm going to say it anyway. People are traveling to go to your wedding you need to feed them and "water" them. You should cover the dinner in its entirety including tips. Especially since you're only talking about 15 people. You can probably arrange it with the restaurant to have certain types of liquor though so that people aren't ordering the most expensive champagne on your tab.

Beyond that, what time do you intend the dinner to end? If it's going to be done by say 8pm, then you may want to arrange some entertainment afterward. No one has to attend. What do you and your fiance plan on doing. Do you want to party all night or do you intend on going straight back to the hotel room?

I absolutely agree with this. I would offer a limited drink menu if you feel more comfortable with that. That way you could really control the costs so it wasn't a huge surprise when you got the bill. I would never ever make someone pay for drinks from a cash bar during the dinner. My cousin did that and to this day I think it was cheap. You even had to pay for soda which I thought was horrible. Sorry, just my opinion. I am NOT a big drinker whatsoever either, so it isn't like I would have more than 1 glass of wine anyhow, but everyone likes to have the option. Beside, with a buffet, isn't usually the soft drinks included? So that should be a cost that you should't incur.

Good luck and have a memorable time.

 

[SDFgirl]

I think your plan sounds fine. If I were a guest, I would just be excited about taking a vacation and would pony up for a few extra drinks if I wanted them. No big deal!

And I certainly wouldn't expect entertainment after. I would probably be more excited about doing what I wanted, rather than being "obligated" to do something already chosen for me.

Congrats and have fun!!

 

[minniecarousel]

I guess I'm puzzled by the buffet thing. Is the buffet at the Mandalay Bay really that nice? I can't imagine attending the regular buffet for a wedding dinner. Will they have a private room for you? Will you be eating at a table right next to a group of gamblers from who-knows-where and their kids? I don't get it.

As for after dinner - no one expects the newlyweds to party for hours. Just be up front with everybody and let them know where you'll be going and let people know they're invited to join you.

 

[kidzmom3]

To me the more important factor here is the lack of time you plan to spend with your guests. A ceremony in a hotel chapel will take only 15 minutes or so. A dinner about an hour. How far are these people traveling and how much are they spending to have so little of your time. I honestly think that that would be more tacky than having them pay for drinks themselves.

We have been to 3 destination weddings:

1- had a full reception for 50 people

2nd- at a bed and breakfast in Vermont- Leisurly dinner in a private room with some nice music. Plenty of time to have appetizer/dinner and desert. After their was a gathering around a nice fireplace with nice music and talk. It wasn't elaborate but it lasted several hours from ceremony to end.

3rd-dinner reception and then everyone went to a club together and went dancing. Everyone even grampy enjoyed it. Couple covered the cover charge/everyone paid for own drinks.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

When my daughter got married, they were both adult professional people and felt strongly about picking up the reception dinner costs. The groom's parents picked up the rehearsal dinner.. the bride's parents paid for her gown, her vintage headpiece, flowers, for bridesmaids, her two sisters, their dresses, the flowers for the tables, and the cash bar...... also, the entertainment in the lounge during the cocktail hour... this was a big wedding in the city,.....

For the drinking part, we did champagne, wine and beer and apple martinis and cosmopolitans..

I have two more daughters, who after this wedding, said they want a small wedding, maybe a destination wedding, less details....I have to say we worked on this wedding for over a year and wish that it could have gone off as planned.. it did not and we were not so happy with all the time, energy and money spent for this affair..

What I am saying here is do what is good for your DF and yourself....go with the flow.. have fun.. do it your way. Good luck..

 

[kimmikayb]

I think your plans sound wonderful and you should do it any way you and DF want, it's your wedding. The way you described it sounds like fun to me and I'd love to be a guest at your wedding! So I'll be expecting the invite soon......

 

[Linzybrooke]

I was in a Vegas wedding this summer. The bride and groom arranged for a private bus tour to take the wedding party around Vegas and see the sights, get out for pictures, etc. Might be a neat idea for your guests between the wedding and the reception. If you want more info PM me and I can get the information from her.

 

[Hannathy]

To me the more important factor here is the lack of time you plan to spend with your guests. A ceremony in a hotel chapel will take only 15 minutes or so. A dinner about an hour. How far are these people traveling and how much are they spending to have so little of your time. I honestly think that that would be more tacky than having them pay for drinks themselves.

We have been to 3 destination weddings:

1- had a full reception for 50 people

2nd- at a bed and breakfast in Vermont- Leisurly dinner in a private room with some nice music. Plenty of time to have appetizer/dinner and desert. After their was a gathering around a nice fireplace with nice music and talk. It wasn't elaborate but it lasted several hours from ceremony to end.

3rd-dinner reception and then everyone went to a club together and went dancing. Everyone even grampy enjoyed it. Couple covered the cover charge/everyone paid for own drinks.

Thanks for saying what I was thinking. I would be very upset if I only had 1-2 hrs with the couple after traveling so far and with such a small group.

What about your parents getting a suite with a sitting area for the night and your group could go back there for a while and then you and hubby could leave after a couple hours and the rest could stay and visit or go their own ways. I also think you should just pay for all the drinks. You know everyone coming well is there someone you think would over do?

 

[FinallyBoughtDVC]

I think the plan is lovely, but I agree with those that believe not offering drinks to your dinner guests is kind of rude/tacky.

This is not like an open bar at a typical 4-5 hour reception - we're talking an hour - hour and a half long dinner.

How many drinks could they all drink? And, even at $10 a piece - if each of them ordered 2 drinks - it would total $300 - that's less than the price of one plane ticket from NY to Vegas.

My cousin had her wedding in Vermont. It cost all of us a fortune to go, ended up being a whole weekend affair, gave her a huge cash wedding gift - and it was a slap in the face to then have to pull out more money to pay for a couple of drinks at the wedding. Although, watching my father's face everytime he had to pull out his wallet was quite comical and almost worth the cost.

We love her - but it was rude. Her shower was worse - that's another story for another day. In the end, it doesn't add a heck of a lot to the budget for this type of wedding - especially if it is just beer, wine and soda. People come to my house, I feed them and give them all the drinks they want. People fly all the way to Vegas to wish my and my dh well, I'd do the same.

Not trying to "flame" - just offering my opinion. I think, at the very least, you should offer your guests beer, wine, soft drinks, coffee or tea during dinner. I can understand not wanting to break the bank with Dirty Grey Goose Martinis (my drink of choice) - but to not offer a glass of wine with dinner would simply be in poor taste.

Best wishes for a beautiful day and a long and happy marriage!!

 

[Beth76]

I was in a Vegas wedding this summer. The bride and groom arranged for a private bus tour to take the wedding party around Vegas and see the sights, get out for pictures, etc. Might be a neat idea for your guests between the wedding and the reception. If you want more info PM me and I can get the information from her.

Oh I DARE you!!!!! In your wedding gown

Another thought I had on the after dinner festivities or lack thereof. I don't know about you, but I would find it completely, utterly awkward and uncomfortable to excuse myself and my new husband immediately after dinner on my wedding night. Especially when in the company of my parents, in-laws, aunt, uncles. I shudder at the thought. At the very least make sure you don't have adjacent rooms.

 

[AlexandNessa]

Well, first of all: Congratulations!

Now, just my opinion, but you would have to be a very good friend or sister for me to:

1. Use vacation time from work to travel to Vegas.
2. Spend my discretionary budget for a trip to Vegas.
3. Take us to a buffet at a regular restaurant that wouldn't be in a private room (is this the case?)
4. Charge us for beer and wine during a short dinner.


Now, if you were a very good friend or sister, all bets are off, and I would do whatever you wanted (albeit in this case a bit begrudgingly), but I would manage to act happy for you and keep my mouth shut about any misgivings. But ... I say "begrudgingly" because Vegas is the last place I would want to go and spend my vacation time and budget. If you have guests that might feel that way, please consider the time and expense of air fare, transportation, meals, hotels, tips, taxes, etc. In IMHO, it would be very rude to have a cash bar. As others have said, beer, wine, and one type of cocktail would certainly be adequate. Or skip the cocktail. Just serve beer and wine. You do not need to have a free-for-all. MHO is that it is also rude to ask people to spend so much time and money for a 15-minute ceremony and 1-hour dinner.

I had a destination wedding, but everyone could drive to the wedding. No air fare, except for those who would've had to fly even if we had the wedding at home. The hotel we had everyone stay at gave us a special rate of $90/night that included breakfast. For those that came up on Thursday night, we had an appetizer and cocktail party at a Wharf, where our guests did not pay. On Friday night, we had a Lobster Bake rehearsal dinner, and all were invited. We served beer and wine, and again, people did not pay. Saturday was the wedding. We had bottles of several different types of beer, many nice wines, champagne, and a lemonade punch that could be spiked with Vodka. We didn't have an unlimited bar, but even through the grapevine, we didn't hear a word of complaint. Now, I am certainly not saying that you have to entertain everyone for that amount of time or expense. We only had 60 people.

I really don't mean to sound harsh, and I hope I don't sound so. It is your wedding, and you need to plan the type of wedding you want with your DF that says the wedding is "you." However, it is just my honest opinion that you need to appreciate the time and expense of a destination wedding ... a destination that your guests may not be as excited about as you are. If you were my sister, and you told me your plans and asked for a very honest opinion, after much, much prodding and provoking for the truth, I'd tell you that I'd be left feeling a little short-changed.

It's totally your wedding. Have fun with it, and do what you want! However, I think it would be best to explain your plans to your guests and not be upset if anyone doesn't choose to attend.

 

[pearlieq]

I guess I'm puzzled by the buffet thing. Is the buffet at the Mandalay Bay really that nice? I can't imagine attending the regular buffet for a wedding dinner. Will they have a private room for you? Will you be eating at a table right next to a group of gamblers from who-knows-where and their kids? I don't get it.

Yeah, this struck me as a little odd too. Different strokes for different folks, I guess, but a buffet in Vegas doesn't really strike me as "wedding dinner". Even the nicest ones are loud and spread out. It's hard to have a civilized mealtime while everyone is hopping up to get another serving from the buffet. Your guests are barely going to get to see you between a short ceremony and a chaotic dinner.

All of these people are taking time and lots of money to attend your wedding. The very least you could provide them is a nice dinner, including whatever beverages they might desire. They shouldn't have to pay for drinks after all they've already done for you. It's one meal. In the grand scheme of things it's not that much money, and it's the classy, considerate thing to do.

 

[disykat]

I think we're back to the "pay for your plate" argument - only in this case it's not the couple expecting gifts that cover their expenses, it's guests expecting entertainment that covers theirs. I'm guessing answers are falling depending on whether you follow the pay for your plate "rule".

 

[tinkerbelt]

I think it sounds lovely!

My cousin did something very similar for her wedding a couple of years ago. They got married in one of the hotels in Vegas, and then after, everyone went to a restaurant for late lunch/early dinner. There were probably 30 guests, and they had it pre-arranged with the restaurant, who gave everyone a menu with about 4 different choices. There was champagne for a toast, and dinner and soft drinks/coffee/tea were included for the guests (and wedding cake!) but everyone had to pay for their own alcohol. It worked out well, and everyone had a lot of fun.

After the restaurant, everyone went back to their hotel rooms to change clothes, and then the "kids" (me and all of my 20 and 30 something cousins, including the bride and groom) all met up at one of the casinos and spent the evening together in the casino/bar/lounge. All of our parents stayed back at the hotel with all of our kids, since most of my cousins all have young kids.

It was a lot of fun!