What Would You Think If You Were Attending This Wedding...?

[Imzadi]

One hour seems awfully short for a reception dinner. But then again, I'm from NY/NJ. Another recent thread explained that we have full out receptions with the full works that apparently don't happen in the rest of the country.

 

[Mermaid02]

I think your plan sounds great! I would be totally fine with being "on our own" after the wedding dinner.... Maybe even prefer it that way we could (as you said) treat this as a vacation too.... not be stuck at a magic show we aren't interested in but feel obligated to go to. KWIM??

 

[Lizzy2]

At my wedding, we had champagne punch, regular punch, soda, beer, wine,and coffee after dessert. There was no liquor. We just felt that was too much. I would imagine that whoever is helping you at the restaurant make the arrangements could coach the waiters to offer what you will pay for and most people will go for that. My DBIL was married at the JP and then took us all out to dinner and he paid for everyone. We just followed his lead as to what to order drink wise and used traditional manners and didn't order the most expensive thing on the menu and I'm sure this is what most of your guests will do too. I think there is nothing wrong with offering your toast beverage at the beginning and then serving non-alchoholic beverages from there on out. Just keep in mind that you and DF will have to do that, too. It could get sticky manners-wise if you and DF keep knocking back martinis and everyone else can only drink Coke.

 

[ocd4disney]

I think it sounds like a good plan. Since it is only a few of your close friends and family, I am sure they will understand that you do not want to pay for an unlimited bar. At a buffet, a non-alcoholic beverage is generally included....On top of that, you offered to buy 1 alcoholic drink for the toast. If your guests want to booze it up then they should pay for the rest of their own drinks. JMO.

 

[delilah]

Thanks! I'm realizing how much fun this is going to be!

Is it normal for them to have wonderful and expensive ideas for ways for you to spend your money for their enjoyment???

Yup. And it only gets worse as time wears on. I've been married 29 years and counting. My husband got a second mortgage to pay for repairs to his mother's house. I had a major fit over that. He finally went the route of having his mom file a quit-claim deed so that he could legally use HER house as collateral for the repairs. Then, his darling cousin, who was the contractor for the repairs, had all kinds of elaborate and expensive repairs. I told him that we intended to use the proceeds from the second mortgage line of credit to pay for repairs and repay the loan. So, she was out of money. The nerve of some people. This was an extra $600/mo. When we sold her house and she moved into the nursing home, I clamped down on the purse-strings. Somebody is going to have to haul me into court and prove I am obligated to pay before I pay another thin dime for her living and/or medical expenses.

 

[Beth76]

I guess I understand where you are coming from. We're paying for the first drink so everyone can toast us and not have to worry about paying for that. If we were to change our minds and pay for drinks, we would probably only pay for beer, wine, and liquor and soda type drinks. I honestly don't see anything wrong with that and have been to weddings with a drink menu before. But thanks for your perspective, it actually makes a lot of sense.

I know you don't mean it this way, but that just sounds bad. Honestly, if I walk into a party and am given champange on arrival, I would expect other drinks to follow suit. I think it's totally reasonable to offer only beer, wine soda etc.

I would not expect something afterwards; they don't do that at weddings at home, why expect it just because it's in Vegas

Why? Because it's Vegas. Everyone traveled to this destination, spending who knows how much. They don't have homes to go home to. They have empty hotel rooms. And even at at-home weddings there is entertainment afterward--the reception.

 

[DisneyPhD]

I think it sounds like a great plan (but I am surprised you choice Vegas instead of WDW! )

I would do the same with the bar. DH and I are not drinkers, so I don't really see paying for other peoples. Besides in Vegas people can go a little more wild that way then maybe at home. Buying one round for the toast seems fair, then they can decided if they what and if they want to drink after. Paying for the meal and tip is the right thing to do.

I don't think you should do anything official after. It isn't like there is nothing to do there. I am sure people will be fine finding their own activities.
I hope you have a wonderful wedding and I can't wait to see pictures! One year, that isn't long now!

 

[GJM]

I think your plan sounds fine. Even the cash bar - if your really wanted to provide something I would just do wine or beer and if someone wants something else they can get it.

We have gone out to dinner with people from work - sometimes of 15 people, we will split the bill when it comes to food, but if someone wants a drink they get it from the bar.

I wouldn't provide any entertainment after the dinner, if you all want to meet up that is fine. That is the thing it is "Vegas" with so much to see and do, not everyone will want to do the same thing.

We got married 12 years ago this month in Vegas - it has changed so much.

Enjoy - do what you want and have fun!

 

[AKL_Megs]

I think it sounds like a great plan (but I am surprised you choice Vegas instead of WDW! )

I would do the same with the bar. DH and I are not drinkers, so I don't really see paying for other peoples. Besides in Vegas people can go a little more wild that way then maybe at home. Buying one round for the toast seems fair, then they can decided if they what and if they want to drink after. Paying for the meal and tip is the right thing to do.

I don't think you should do anything official after. It isn't like there is nothing to do there. I am sure people will be fine finding their own activities.
I hope you have a wonderful wedding and I can't wait to see pictures! One year, that isn't long now!

It was a tough call, picking Vegas over WDW... when we were at WDW in January and I looked at places, nothing I saw made me think, "That's it!" When I saw the chapel at Mandalay Bay in Vegas, it was like a light went off in my head, I knew I had found "The One". And DF really likes the Vegas idea, so that also made it easier.

But yes, people DO go wild in Vegas, that is part of what we are afraid of! But of course we know this as we go ahead and move forward. And yes, a year will go by very, very quickly!

 

[crz4mm2]

It was a tough call, picking Vegas over WDW... when we were at WDW in January and I looked at places, nothing I saw made me think, "That's it!" When I saw the chapel at Mandalay Bay in Vegas, it was like a light went off in my head, I knew I had found "The One". And DF really likes the Vegas idea, so that also made it easier.

But yes, people DO go wild in Vegas, that is part of what we are afraid of! But of course we know this as we go ahead and move forward. And yes, a year will go by very, very quickly!

DD always says "two words, Las Vegas" when people start complaining about wedding plans Cracks me u p.
I think Vegas weddings are a great idea!

 

[Freyja]

If we were to change our minds and pay for drinks, we would probably only pay for beer, wine, and liquor and soda type drinks. I honestly don't see anything wrong with that and have been to weddings with a drink menu before. But thanks for your perspective, it actually makes a lot of sense.

I think this is the best idea.

 

[va32h]

We got married in Vegas, and we had a regular reception with a buffet and drinks that we supplied ourselves (beer, wine, champagne, soda).

I don't drink myself, and DH is a recovering alcoholic, but we just had sparkling cider in our glasses - as hosts we wanted to offer our guests a variety of beverages.

I think cash bars are tacky in general. I appreciated that so many people traveled to attend my wedding, and did not expect them to just fend for themselves an hour after the event.

 

[Philadisney]

i haven't read any of the other responses yet, but my friend is getting married next month in key west, and those of us that are going are treating the trip as a vacation. we found our own hotel (although they did suggest ones for us), and have made our own plans for the entire trip aside from the wedding ceremony & reception. we don't expect them to entertain us at all outside of the official reception, or come up with things for us to do.
good luck with your planning!!

 

[AKL_Megs]

i haven't read any of the other responses yet, but my friend is getting married next month in key west, and those of us that are going are treating the trip as a vacation. we found our own hotel (although they did suggest ones for us), and have made our own plans for the entire trip aside from the wedding ceremony & reception. we don't expect them to entertain us at all outside of the official reception, or come up with things for us to do.
good luck with your planning!!

Glad to read that others are doing something similar to what we have in mind!

 

[Philadisney]

I know you didn't ask, but I'm going to say it anyway. People are traveling to go to your wedding you need to feed them and "water" them. You should cover the dinner in its entirety including tips. Especially since you're only talking about 15 people. You can probably arrange it with the restaurant to have certain types of liquor though so that people aren't ordering the most expensive champagne on your tab.

My work did this for our last office party - only a specific kind of white & red wine and a specific beer were free for partygoers, you had to pay if you wanted anything else. most people were happy with it (i ended up abstaning from drinking, as i only drink rum heh). i don't really mind cash bars at weddings though. especially since you are buying everyone a drink to begin with.

 

[LadyyRedd]

I think your plans sound great and if I were a guest at your wedding, I'd have no problems with them at all!

Have a great wedding and be sure to post pictures!

Kimya

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

I think your plan sounds fine. As for the drinks, my opinion is that after the toast, you could offer water and tea or soda, and if the guests want alcohol they can get it at the bar for themselves.

I've seen it done this way several times, and there were never any issues.

I would just recommend letting them know ahead of time - like maybe insert a little menu in the invitation & let them know what is included.

 

[lizanne]

I think your plan for you to go somewhere after dinner without the entire party sounds fine. If you don't mind if some of them would like to meet you there, I'd just let it be known that you two are headed to ....... and if anyone would like to meet you there you'll be there in about an hour or so.

I don't think you have to provide entertainment.

As far as the drinks are concerned, if you can afford it I would have some wine on the table and beer and soft drinks. I think one drink and then you have to pay yourself just doesn't cut it. As long as you have something available I think that is fine.

Thirty-Five years ago my DH and I attended the wedding of one of his college buddies. The reception was held at a Country Club. The bride wore a hand beaded gown trimmed in real fur. Her mothers gown was gorgeous. The thing I remember most is that it was a cash bar. I still think of that everytime we see or talk of these people. Nice Couple, but we had to pay for our own drinks at their wedding. There was no other choice.

 

[AKL_Megs]

I think your plan sounds fine. As for the drinks, my opinion is that after the toast, you could offer water and tea or soda, and if the guests want alcohol they can get it at the bar for themselves.

I've seen it done this way several times, and there were never any issues.

I would just recommend letting them know ahead of time - like maybe insert a little menu in the invitation & let them know what is included.

I like this idea. The more I think about it, the more I think that we will pay for a small selection of drinks, but it is probably a good idea to include the drink menu in some sort of dinner menu that can be included in the save the date.

 

[AKL_Megs]

Thirty-Five years ago my DH and I attended the wedding of one of his college buddies. The reception was held at a Country Club. The bride wore a hand beaded gown trimmed in real fur. Her mothers gown was gorgeous. The thing I remember most is that it was a cash bar. I still think of that everytime we see or talk of these people. Nice Couple, but we had to pay for our own drinks at their wedding. There was no other choice.

Something to ponder... thanks!