What should I expect? Update #2 post 116**

[YodaGirl]

I think it's interesting that if a student at the school had done the same things as the man did, there would be several people here saying, "You have no right to know the guy's name or to know what his punishment is, or even if he is punished." But for this guy, they should throw him in jail. So, if the attacker is a 17-year-old student, the victim should have no rights. But, if he's an 18-year-old bystander, that's another matter entirely.

Minors are not adults. Unless the court decides to try a minor as an adult (and at what age and for what is up for debate), then their record is sealed. Why do some expect more out of adults than teenagers, but turn around and expect teenagers to act as adults?

YOUR situation is ENTIRELY different. In your case the instigator is a MINOR CHILD and there are privacy laws protecting minors. Even minors charged with felonies don't have their names or sentences published in the paper if they are charged as a minor.

Exactly.

 

[focusondisney]

Hey, OP, just a reminder to keep checking for bruising on your DS. Bruises often take several days to show up. Take pictures of anything that does show.

 

[rwdavis2]

Don't expect the principal to do anything. Most school personnel could not care less about you or your kids unless it is in their interest to do so. It's all about protecting themselves and "the system".

 

[EMom]

Well, since I'd have called 911 before leaving the school in the first place, this will come as no surprise....


Forget the stern talking to by the police. Press charges. This guy has a screw loose, seems to have anger issues and may be pervy to boot. What is he going to do NEXT TIME? I'd press charges for no other reason than to let my child know that NO ONE will ever get away with doing such a thing to her without me doing my dead level best to get justice.

I'd be curious to know if the teacher has ever worked anywhere before. Maybe she "voluntarily left" her previous position because of trouble her husband had caused. He may be the black cloud that follows her around, but that is not your problem. Yes, I'd get a protective order to keep him away from my child.....and by doing so, probably protect others.

His behavior, followed by the hiding out/running off is beyond anything remotely normal. I'll bet he's been this route before. Please consider pressing charges so he never gets near that school again. How will your children feel if they ever see him there? And I agree, I'd make it clear that no child of mine was to ever be in that teacher's class.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Well, since I'd have called 911 before leaving the school in the first place, this will come as no surprise....


Forget the stern talking to by the police. Press charges. This guy has a screw loose, seems to have anger issues and may be pervy to boot. What is he going to do NEXT TIME? I'd press charges for no other reason than to let my child know that NO ONE will ever get away with doing such a thing to her without me doing my dead level best to get justice.

I'd be curious to know if the teacher has ever worked anywhere before. Maybe she "voluntarily left" her previous position because of trouble her husband had caused. He may be the black cloud that follows her around, but that is not your problem. Yes, I'd get a protective order to keep him away from my child.....and by doing so, probably protect others.

His behavior, followed by the hiding out/running off is beyond anything remotely normal. I'll bet he's been this route before. Please consider pressing charges so he never gets near that school again. How will your children feel if they ever see him there? And I agree, I'd make it clear that no child of mine was to ever be in that teacher's class.

You raise a lot of good points. The guy is scary.

 

[horseshowmom]

I'm sure the principal will make sure of this anyway, but I'd want it said that "of course my kids will never have his wife for a teacher, for the comfort of everyone involved".

I'm sure the principal will make every effort to do that if possible, but the OP commented that she lives in a very small town. Speaking from experience, it might not be possible to avoid the teacher. However, I can pretty much guarantee that they won't have any problems with her (and if they do, the principal should certainly be made aware of it immediately).

Don't expect the principal to do anything. Most school personnel could not care less about you or your kids unless it is in their interest to do so. It's all about protecting themselves and "the system".

I've got to say that's pretty insulting to those of us who work in schools. While I'll grant you that there are some who aren't satisfactory (just like in any other field of employment), it certainly isn't most.

I've seen teachers carry kids to the optometrist because they couldn't see, and their parents wouldn't take them (even though it was covered by Medicaid). Last year, a student's house burned just before Christmas, and my husband and I replaced his uniforms and then bought his Christmas for him (our church then followed up with gifts for the mother and the rest of the family). I could go on and on and on, but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't matter.

 

[Poohforyou]

Honestly, you're going to equate what happened with your daughter to this. The 2 instances aren't even in the same ballpark. This was a situation that happened to take place at a school but was not school related. It really belongs in the hands of the police with the cooperation of the school. Your situation was completely school related and did not involve physical harm.

Had a 17 yo done what this man did you better believe I'd expect him to be arrested.

 

[horseshowmom]

The police officer called me again last night to update me and said he thinks they either went out of town or are "doing a good job hiding from him". He's been by their house multiple times since Friday and the house is all locked, vehicles haven't moved, lights off in the evening etc.

The principal also called me again to check on the kids. I still feel horrible about the wife. He said "You know...maybe this is a blessing in disguise for him, we don't know that this isn't a common occurrance in their household...maybe it's a wake up call for him." I agreed. It takes an "off" person I think to physically attack a child, let alone one that's not yours.

I really have come to peace that I'm doing the right thing, but it doesn't make the situation any easier.

It does sound like they left town, and I do suspect they're trying to hide. They can't do that forever though.

 

[DebbieB]

I would just work through the police for any information. The principal probably will not volunteer any information on if they are doing anything for insurance reasons.

 

[golfgal]

Don't expect the principal to do anything. Most school personnel could not care less about you or your kids unless it is in their interest to do so. It's all about protecting themselves and "the system".

I'm sure glad our schools aren't this way. Our staff and administration takes their jobs very seriously and as a result have a vested interest in the overall welfare of the students. They are HUGE supporters of the kids' activities in and out of school. It's a great system.

 

[threecrazykids]

Another update from the police***

Get this...the officer called the guy's house and had left a message for him on Saturday night letting him know he needed to speak with him and that he needed to call him back as soon as he got the message about the incident at the school.

The guy called back and left a message on the officers voice mail and said "uh...this is X and I'm returning your call but I have no idea what you're calling about because I've been out of town all weekend."

The officer is now sending us the paper work to have the kids write out exactly what happened and he's also going to get in contact with the other witnesses to have written statements drawn up. He said the guy's voicemail was arrogant and very smart alecy (lol...not a word). He said he has to have the formal charges filed so he can read his Miranda rights and use anything he says (when he goes to talk with him) against him.

UGH...what a mess!

 

[threecrazykids]

sorry...double entry, trying to update thread title

 

[angwill]

Another update from the police***

Get this...the officer called the guy's house and had left a message for him on Saturday night letting him know he needed to speak with him and that he needed to call him back as soon as he got the message about the incident at the school.

The guy called back and left a message on the officers voice mail and said "uh...this is X and I'm returning your call but I have no idea what you're calling about because I've been out of town all weekend."

The officer is now sending us the paper work to have the kids write out exactly what happened and he's also going to get in contact with the other witnesses to have written statements drawn up. He said the guy's voicemail was arrogant and very smart alecy (lol...not a word). He said he has to have the formal charges filed so he can read his Miranda rights and use anything he says (when he goes to talk with him) against him.

UGH...what a mess!

It sounds like the guy tried to cover his tracks getting out of town after it happened. He probably thinks that it will be the kids vs his and his alibi's. It sounds like the guy deserves to have charges pressed against him. Come on how hard is it to give a sincere apology?

 

[JessicaR]

It sounds like the guy tried to cover his tracks getting out of town after it happened. He probably thinks that it will be the kids vs his and his alibi's. It sounds like the guy deserves to have charges pressed against him. Come on how hard is it to give a sincere apology?

It does sound like that. The problem is that the OP'er and the Principal saw him in the school. This guy has some serious issues and I hope they nail him for what he did.

 

[golfgal]

I'm even more glad you called the police .

 

[Diegosmom]

wow...totally trying to get out of it...

Thanks for the update...

 

[angwill]

I've got to say that's pretty insulting to those of us who work in schools. While I'll grant you that there are some who aren't satisfactory (just like in any other field of employment), it certainly isn't most.

I've seen teachers carry kids to the optometrist because they couldn't see, and their parents wouldn't take them (even though it was covered by Medicaid). Last year, a student's house burned just before Christmas, and my husband and I replaced his uniforms and then bought his Christmas for him (our church then followed up with gifts for the mother and the rest of the family). I could go on and on and on, but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't matter.

Originally Posted by rwdavis2
Don't expect the principal to do anything. Most school personnel could not care less about you or your kids unless it is in their interest to do so. It's all about protecting themselves and "the system".


I wouldn't take what was written as an insult. We all know that there are wonderful school personnel out there such as yourself.

On the other hand please understand that there are other school personnel as well as some complete school systems that are sadly as described in that they could care less about the families and students and are only worried about protecting themselves and collecting as much money as they can. If you are stuck in a system such as this you get to the point where you start to wonder if there are good schools left out there and get frustrated and run down by years of such abuses.

I am sure you know of some coworkers who would not do what you did and may have even told you to stay out of it and not do what you did.

It is wonderful to hear of those teachers do care about the children so thanks for sharing your story.

 

[dislaney]

Wow, I am so glad you decided to call the police. He sounds like a real loser!

 

[FredinFL]

I would have called the cops. NO ONE physically assaults MY child and gets away with it. PERIOD!

I wouldn't have left either, I would have waited for the cops to arrive and I would have demanded he be arrested on assault charges.

 

[golfgal]

Originally Posted by rwdavis2
Don't expect the principal to do anything. Most school personnel could not care less about you or your kids unless it is in their interest to do so. It's all about protecting themselves and "the system".


I wouldn't take what was written as an insult. We all know that there are wonderful school personnel out there such as yourself.

On the other hand please understand that there are other school personnel as well as some complete school systems that are sadly as described in that they could care less about the families and students and are only worried about protecting themselves and collecting as much money as they can. If you are stuck in a system such as this you get to the point where you start to wonder if there are good schools left out there and get frustrated and run down by years of such abuses.

I am sure you know of some coworkers who would not do what you did and may have even told you to stay out of it and not do what you did.

It is wonderful to hear of those teachers do care about the children so thanks for sharing your story.

I agree that it is insulting and while there are a FEW bad eggs, it certainly isn't MOST by ANY means.