What should I expect? Update #2 post 116**

[laurie31]

Another update- The officer came to my house to speak with my son, but told us this prior to speaking with my son:

The police officer went to the teachers home to speak with them. The teacher (the wife of this man) said he wouldn't be home until the next morning. Apparently he works evenings. Anyway, the officer asked her if she was willing to speak to him about the situation. She said she had no problem speaking with him.

The officer told us she said she and her husband were hanging a bulletin board on the wall closest to the windows. The windows were closed for the summer (maintenance does something so they can't be opened) so she couldn't yell down to them to stop throwing rocks. (The officer then asked her to describe the kids she saw...at which she identified 3 of the 4 kids total who were present. She wasn't able to identify my daughter other than saying a little girl but DID identify the 3 boys by name as apparently she has subbed at the school before.) She stated that she saw all 3 boys throwing rocks. She said she told her husband to go down and tell them to stop because she couldn't open the window.

She said she didn't see anything, but that her husband came back to the room and she asked him what happened. He said "I asked them who was throwing rocks and (my son) said he didn't do it and tried to walk away so I grabbed his arm and said "Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you". I told him to knock it off because I saw him do it..." at which the officer told her he needed to advise her she has now incriminated her husband so she needed to be aware of this before she spoke anymore. She said "ok" and then said her husband said "I probably shouldn't have grabbed his arm like I did but I wanted him to listen to me...next time I should just let them break the window!" She then asked the officer what exactly would happen with charges etc. and he told her it all depended on how (sorry, can't remember the state title of the person) decided to proceed based on the statements and possible charges that were incurred.

He then sat at our kitchen table with my son and took a recorded statement of exactly what happened. He asked my son to describe the man in question, had him explain in great detail exactly what was said to him, how he grabbed him etc. When he got finished describing the assault the officer then asked him if anything else happened. My son then began to tell about how the man made the inappropriate gesture to him and my daughter but he couldn't even talk about it....he broke down in tears. He didn't even want to talk about it. The officer told him it was ok to cry, and take a few breaths, and try to tell him the best he could. He said "he grabbed his privates" and said "whatever you little punk...do it again and next time I'll kick your (insert explicit word)!"

My husband had to leave the room he was so mad. The officer shut the recorder off and said "I'm so sorry young man this happened to you...I want you to know that this is NOT ok, and you did a great job telling me what happened. Now don't worry, your parents and the police will take care of it from here." The officer actually had tears in his eyes.

We sent my son outside to play. We then talked to the officer a bit and he basically said "this guy apparently has never had HIS (insert explicit word) kicked, but I sure wish I could". We all agree that what it sounds like is a situation of him knowing an 11 year old simply can't fight back, nor SHOULD they ever have to...so he decided to "punk out" (as the officer said it) an 11 year old to play tough guy against someone with no fighting chance of winning.

They are now going to get statements written up by the other witnesses and then take it all back to... (is it a prosecuting attorney???) or whomever decides what charges are to be filed.

I'll keep everyone posted! Thanks so much for sticking this out with me I appreciate all of the support!

Wow, this whole situation is horrible! Thank goodness the police are taking it seriously. Your poor little DS! I feel so badly for him!


As for the bolded, yeah...the only options are to "let them break the windows" or to assult them, curse them, and make incredibly inappropriate gestures. Nothing at all in between those options.
(Please note heavy sarcasm - I would think any NORMAL adult would be able to talk to kids without shouting, shaking, or cursing them!!!)

I hope the guy goes to jail, and gets anger management counseling. And yes, I hope the wife thinks twice before she has a baby with that guy!

 

[threecrazykids]

Just curious...(not that he had any right even if they did throw the rocks)...but it seems like the teacher said that she saw your son (and called him by name) and another little girl (your daughter) throwing rocks...were your kids throwing rocks or was she just throwing this in there to help cover for her husband...

Also wondering...if I could see kids throwing rocks and sent hubby down to tell them to stop I would have watched from the window to see what the kids did...wont most people...so I would think she saw the entire thing...

Oh and now the police totally have him in lying when he said he wasnt at the school but out of town...

As for the bolded, to be honest, I don't know. I wasn't there to catch them if they were. According to my kids, they didn't do it and according to the people who witnessed, they didn't see them throwing rocks either. NOW, that's not to say that they did not throw rocks PRIOR to anyone's attention being drawn to the man screaming, grabbing etc. That is my kids word against the teacher and her husband at this point. I am BY NO MEANS saying it's NOT a possibility that my kids weren't doing it, especially if there were other kids who have admitted to doing it as well. I just don't know the truth because I wasn't there.

I also agree that there is NO WAY she couldn't have heard him screaming because the mother of one of the kids who admittedly threw rocks heard him screaming from out in front of the school. The baseball player who also saw it said there is NO WAY she couldn't have heard him. Maybe she didn't watch to see what happened when he went out there, but I too find that hard to believe.

 

[disneyismyname]

I feel so badly for your son and daughter!
That guy is a jerk and needs to go to jail. The wife seems like she's covering up. Like a PP said, "Why wouldn't she go down and confront the kids? Why did she send her husband, who has no school authority?"

Hope everything turns out of the best OP!

 

[Talking Hands]

This is inexcusable. The teacher should have gone down herself as she is the one with authority and apparently knew the children. Only time a teacher should send someone is if she is sending another teacher. Like I might send my husband but he is also a substitute in the same school I substitute at. Was there no security. Our school has a security person on property even when school is not in session.

 

[swanmom]

I guess bullies come in all ages and sizes. I hope that there are consequences for his behavior and that your kids see that. Your DS deserves to know that his bravery in speaking to the officer and standing up for himself results in some action. Keep us posted!

 

[nmmom95]

OP-Good for you for following this through. It makes no difference who was throwing rocks, no one has the right to do act as he did.

 

[tasha99]

How bizarre! As much as this is a legal issue, it's also a school issue. If I were the principal, I would be very unhappy with a teacher who sent a non-employee to discipline kids. I also think the teacher had to know her husband has a temper. She used some very bad judgment in sending him to do her job.

 

[LuvLDM]

Clearly I'm in the minority but I think there is more to this story.
I would be curious to hear the other side.

 

[laurie31]

Clearly I'm in the minority but I think there is more to this story.
I would be curious to hear the other side.

The man's side? Seriously?

Even if the OP's DS was throwing huge rocks at the windows (which he wasn't accodring to witnesses), that doesn't give anyone the right to shake him, curse him, and make obscene gestures at him. NO ONE has the right to do that to ANY ONE of any age!!! What possible excuse could there be for that kind of behavior?!

A sane adult would have told the child to stop, and if there had been damage done, the police could have been involved from the school's end, to press charges and/or have damages paid. There would never be any excuse for cursing and lewd gestures on anyone's part!

 

[LuvLDM]

The man's side? Seriously?

Even if the OP's DS was throwing huge rocks at the windows (which he wasn't accodring to witnesses), that doesn't give anyone the right to shake him, curse him, and make obscene gestures at him. NO ONE has the right to do that to ANY ONE of any age!!! What possible excuse could there be for that kind of behavior?!

A sane adult would have told the child to stop, and if there had been damage done, the police could have been involved from the school's end, to press charges and/or have damages paid. There would never be any excuse for cursing and lewd gestures on anyone's part!

Yes, seriously.
You are assuming that the shaking, cursing & obscene gestures actually occurred.
There are always two sides to every story.

Oh and I also don't believe that police officer teared up while listening to the kids story.

 

[threecrazykids]

Clearly I'm in the minority but I think there is more to this story.
I would be curious to hear the other side.

I understand your curiosity, however, under what circumstances do you justify an adult whom you do not know to physically grab your child, scream profanities, etc? The only circumstance I can think of that I would EVER grab a child whom I didn't know would be to physically remove them from my own child if they were fighting etc.

I am not saying that my kids did no wrong, they very well could have thrown rocks. I'm going off of what the people who DID witness it said. They are the ones who are giving their testimony as to what they saw him do.

I guess I don't know what you would assume this man could possibly say/do that warrants his behavior. I agree, it's so bizarre that I thank God other people saw it happen, otherwise I may not believe it myself.

 

[kristen821]

Yes, seriously.
You are assuming that the shaking, cursing & obscene gestures actually occurred.
There are always two sides to every story.

Oh and I also don't believe that police officer teared up while listening to the kids story.

I teared up reading the story. I would hope the officer wouldn't have teared up because they should be a lot stronger then me, but it could have happened.

I feel horrible for the kids. Unless, the kids were throwing rocks at the jerk and it was all self defense there is no excuse to touch a child that isn't his. There is definitely no excuse for the gestures that he is being excused of making no matter what the circumstances.

The teacher is a moron! She had to know her husband is a jerk and shouldn't have sent him. If this is how it all happened I'm guessing the guy was drunk or has mental issues and either way she shouldn't have sent him to deal with her students.

 

[babyrich]

I wouldnt care if your DS hit this man with a rock, he shouldn't have touched your DS. We always tell children to walk away.

This man could have opened the door and yelled at your kids to stop. He didnt have to walk anywhere near them.

I hope you nail him to the wall.

 

[threecrazykids]

Yes, seriously.
You are assuming that the shaking, cursing & obscene gestures actually occurred.
There are always two sides to every story.

Oh and I also don't believe that police officer teared up while listening to the kids story.

Two sides? There were witnesses to this happening. Not just my kids words against his. These witnesses are not children, they are high school students (baseball players) and also a mother of one of the players.

And don't believe me about the officer tearing up if you don't want...that's ok. I'm not really needing to "add drama" to the story if that's what you're implying. The officer is a father of 3 himself.

Sorry if that rubbed you the wrong way. I was just giving an update on what happened.

 

[LuvLDM]

I understand your curiosity, however, under what circumstances do you justify an adult whom you do not know to physically grab your child, scream profanities, etc? The only circumstance I can think of that I would EVER grab a child whom I didn't know would be to physically remove them from my own child if they were fighting etc.

I am not saying that my kids did no wrong, they very well could have thrown rocks. I'm going off of what the people who DID witness it said. They are the ones who are giving their testimony as to what they saw him do.

I guess I don't know what you would assume this man could possibly say/do that warrants his behavior. I agree, it's so bizarre that I thank God other people saw it happen, otherwise I may not believe it myself.

I do believe the man grabbed you childs arm when he caught them throwing rocks. Absolutely, %100 out of line for him to put his hands on a child, no question about it.
I simply have difficulty believing the rest of it happened.

 

[threecrazykids]

I do believe the man grabbed you childs arm when he caught them throwing rocks. Absolutely, %100 out of line for him to put his hands on a child, no question about it.
I simply have difficulty believing the rest of it happened.

So what you're implying is that the high school baseball players and a mother got together with my kids and quickly decided to put together a story of him screaming profanities, pushing him, etc?

 

[thymed]

I do believe the man grabbed you childs arm when he caught them throwing rocks. Absolutely, %100 out of line for him to put his hands on a child, no question about it.
I simply have difficulty believing the rest of it happened.

It sounds like there were witnesses and enough evidence for the Police to follow through. Perhaps you are a little jaded LuvLDM.

I am of the mind that goes with the law NO ONE has the right to physically or verbally assault another person. It is particularly heinous when it is an adult assaulting a child. It sounds as if the man has anger management and control issues. If the boy had broken a window, the man still did not have the right to lay hands on him. The man's wife recognized the children so she could have filed a report with the principal or the police there was no need to resort to violence and lewd gestures. Hopefully this will never happen to anyone you know and love

 

[LuvLDM]

So what you're implying is that the high school baseball players and a mother got together with my kids and quickly decided to put together a story of him screaming profanities, pushing him, etc?

There was an adult witness, no mention of that in your op?
All I'm saying is that the story is hard the believe.

Your two children are just minding their own business and some enraged man storms out of the school, assaults your 11 yr. old, verbally berates them, then makes an obscene gesture at your young daughter.....all because he thought they were throwing pebbles?
I'm sorry, it just sounds off to me

....and for the record, I don't think it makes any difference whether they were throwing pebbles or not.

 

[frndshpcptn]

Oh and I also don't believe that police officer teared up while listening to the kids story.

Yeah...that's a bit hard for me to believe as well. I can't imagine this is the most horrific story the police person ever heard (unless maybe they are a rookie?) and it would move them to tears like that in public...

But hey - I wasn't there - so who knows.

 

[LuvLDM]

It sounds like there were witnesses and enough evidence for the Police to follow through. Perhaps you are a little jaded LuvLDM.

Hopefully this will never happen to anyone you know and love

Oh, give me a break...I'm just saying there is never just ONE side to the story.