What is the customary gift for a quinceañera?

[aprilgail]

$50. That is crazy. I think I would pass. Unless it was a very very close life long BFF. Do you give that much for a firends regular 15th birthday? Or a Sweet 16 too?

Sweet 16 between 50-100 is usual here-close friends are 100. The least my daughter got at her sweet 16 was 40.00 from one of the kids. From adults it was average 150.00 a couple as a gift. My brother on the other hand went way overboard and gave her 1,000.00 towards college for her sweet 16. They are big here and equal to quinceneras or less fancy weddings. The year all the kids turn 16 is a VERY expensive year, my friends son was one of the very popular kids and was going to at least one a weekend the whole year, my friend was working overtime that year LOL.

 

[Simba's Mom]

It’s not just a “birthday party” for people that celebrate quinces as part of their culture. It’s a much bigger deal, almost like a wedding.

Yes, we have relatives (by marriage) who celebrate quinceneras, and when a daughter’s born, the parents start saving for her quincenera. DS has 2 daughters and since DDIL had a quincenera, DS was expected to start saving. But no talk of a wedding.

 

[disneychrista]

It’s not just a “birthday party” for people that celebrate quinces as part of their culture. It’s a much bigger deal, almost like a wedding.

I get that but it is still a birthday party. A big, fancy birthday party but still a birthday party. I don't think because you choose to spends 10k on a party means we as a guest should have to give a more expensive present than someone who has a simple pizza & cake party.

 

[katie01]

So it sounds like jewelry is out, cash is the preferred gift?

 

[sonnyjane]

I get that but it is still a birthday party. A big, fancy birthday party but still a birthday party. I don't think because you choose to spends 10k on a party means we as a guest should have to give a more expensive present than someone who has a simple pizza & cake party.

But I’m saying it’s not just a birthday to the family OR to most of the guests in attendance. It is its own milestone in a young person’s life. Just like there’s an expectation that $10 isn’t usually an appropriate wedding gift, it also wouldn’t fly at a quince. For people that celebrate quinces, it is basically like a wedding - you get a huge dress, you have a “court”, a huge meal, it means more than a birthday.

 

[L&Lfan]

It's spelled quinceañera, just fyi.

 

[anniemae]

It is much more than a birthday party from what I understand:



A quinceañera celebration usually begins with a mass in church to give thanks for the girl making the transition to a young woman. The girl wears a full-length ball gown in the color of her choice and carries a matching bouquet. Following the mass, the guests go to a banquet hall where the party will take place. The party is an extravagant affair that goes on for several hours.

The quinceañera is celebrated on a grand scale and often ends up being very costly for the family.



This is not the type of affair that you grab a $15 gift at walmart, slap on some jeans and attend.

 

[allison443]

I get that but it is still a birthday party. A big, fancy birthday party but still a birthday party. I don't think because you choose to spends 10k on a party means we as a guest should have to give a more expensive present than someone who has a simple pizza & cake party.

People are just stating what is the “customary” gift like the OP asked. From most posts it sounds like it’s customary for most to give more for this occasion than they would for another birthday. If you think it doesn’t make sense and don’t want to follow the custom no one is saying you have to - do what you want- but that doesn’t mean the custom doesn’t exist.

 

[disneychrista]

People are just stating what is the “customary” gift like the OP asked. From most posts it sounds like it’s customary for most to give more for this occasion than they would for another birthday. If you think it doesn’t make sense and don’t want to follow the custom no one is saying you have to - do what you want- but that doesn’t mean the custom doesn’t exist.

I am not discounting any of the "tradition" that this birthday party entails. I get that it is a big deal for the family and it is a celebration of the girl becoming a "young woman." I am saying if I was expected to give $50 to a not very close school friend my daughter would skip the event.

I worked with a lady who took out a bank loan to pay for her daughters party.

 

[gotomu212]

I get that but it is still a birthday party. A big, fancy birthday party but still a birthday party. I don't think because you choose to spends 10k on a party means we as a guest should have to give a more expensive present than someone who has a simple pizza & cake party.

It’s not the same, as one is religious, but it’s similar in significance to a bar mitzvah/bat mitzvah. It’s held in connection with a birthday but it is not a birthday party; it’s the presentation of a girl into society and the mark that she is now a young woman.

 

[katie01]

It's spelled quinceañera, just fyi.

I have never been able to figure out how to edit thread titles here! Nor do I know how to use the tilda on my keyboard. My autocorrect apparently doesn't speak Spanish

 

[PrincessShmoo]

I have never been able to figure out how to edit thread titles here!

To edit titles: Go to the first post on the thread you started. At the upper right is "Thread tools". Click on that. "Edit Title" is one of the options.

 

[verleniahall]

a what? sounds sketchy?

 

[allison443]

a what? sounds sketchy?

Read the thread, it’s explained. Don’t know what you mean by “sketchy”.

 

[disneychrista]

It’s not the same, as one is religious, but it’s similar in significance to a bar mitzvah/bat mitzvah. It’s held in connection with a birthday but it is not a birthday party; it’s the presentation of a girl into society and the mark that she is now a young woman.

As I have said I totally get that this is a big deal to the family, in their culture. But for a someone who is not part of that culture or a close family friend, $50 is a lot to give. Heck, I live in a area with a very significant Hispanic/Mexican population. And most of them can not really afford such a celebration and take out loans to pay for it. So I am not sure how their family/friends could afford to give such large sum. I am not meaning to down play the significance to the girl of such a celebration. But it is still a big fancy birthday celebration. Just like a big fancy sweet sixteen (another significant celebration in American culture) is still a birthday celebration.

 

[gotomu212]

As I have said I totally get that this is a big deal to the family, in their culture. But for a someone who is not part of that culture or a close family friend, $50 is a lot to give. Heck, I live in a area with a very significant Hispanic/Mexican population. And most of them can not really afford such a celebration and take out loans to pay for it. So I am not sure how their family/friends could afford to give such large sum. I am not meaning to down play the significance to the girl of such a celebration. But it is still a big fancy birthday celebration. Just like a big fancy sweet sixteen (another significant celebration in American culture) is still a birthday celebration.

You keep calling it a big fancy birthday party...to me that’s like calling a wedding a big fancy church service.

The OP asked what was customary, several people have replied, it’s cool if it’s not something you would participate in. However, I don’t think you mean to, but it feels a little rude that you keep calling it “just a birthday party” after numerous people have tried to explain that it isn’t. That probably isn’t you intent.

 

[disneychrista]

You keep calling it a big fancy birthday party...to me that’s like calling a wedding a big fancy church service.

The OP asked what was customary, several people have replied, it’s cool if it’s not something you would participate in. However, I don’t think you mean to, but it feels a little rude that you keep calling it “just a birthday party” after numerous people have tried to explain that it isn’t. That probably isn’t you intent.

The wedding ceremony is not a party . But if someone decides to spend 10k on the reception, then IMO that is in fact a big fancy party.

And I have said NUMEROUS times that I understand the significance of the celebration. But is it or is it not celebrating the girl turning 15? So it is in fact a big fancy birthday party. We do not have to agree on this point. But this celebration is celebrating the girl turning 15. It is not a celebration of anything other than a BIRTHDAY.

And I never said it was "just" a Birthday Party. I have said and still believe that this is a Birthday Party.

 

[bobbiwoz]

I think the celebration is considered more than a birthday party by the Culture. I taught in urban area, and a birthday party never caused such excitement.

 

[disneychrista]

I think the celebration is considered more than a birthday party by the Culture. I taught in urban area, and a birthday party never caused such excitement.

I don't disagree that these are a big deal. They are HUGE celebrations. I have seen groups of "couples" (I assume the "court") practicing the dances they will perform during the celebration in the park. A simple birthday party does not include practicing .

 

[L&Lfan]

For Catholic families celebrating quinceañeras, the Church actually encourages more modest celebrations, especially discouraging events that put the family in debt. And that's also the Church's preference regarding Catholic weddings, Confirmation and First Holy Communion parties . But unfortunately, she can only advise; she can't command adherence to less expensive/ more spiritual affairs.