What is a snowflake?

[mamacatnv]

I'm curious.
To all of you who so adamantly dislike the use of the terms in this discussion, specifically; SnowFlake, Snowy, Helicopter Parent and Mama Bear.

What simple term do you suggest we should use instead to describe these children and their parents?

 

[nuke]

Snowflake- Child that still has a binky at 5 years old

Helicopter PArent- Parent of above child who thinks it's fine

Mama Bear- Parent of child who reams out K teacher for taking away said binky.



At least we don't have to hear about Indigo children anymore.

 

[Carly_Roach]

I'm curious.
To all of you who so adamantly dislike the use of the terms in this discussion, specifically; SnowFlake, Snowy, Helicopter Parent and Mama Bear.

What simple term do you suggest we should use instead to describe these children and their parents?

Oh God. Where's my helmet?

Actually, I'll take Mama Bear for $200.

I dislike the phrase, "I went all Mama Bear on his butt" because it expects people to be forgiving of or the excusing of bad behavior where such behavior would never be seen as warranted or even polite.

If I had a simple term or phrase to use in place of "going all Mama Bear", the few that come to my mind are:

Going all Jerry Springer
Going all trailer-trash
Doin' the Wal-Mart

I've got my helmet security buckled now. Wonder if I need knee- or elbow-pads?

 

[Carly_Roach]

At least we don't have to hear about Indigo children anymore.

 

[Magpie]

Nobody really cares until it gets to the point where it effects you.

My husband hires many 18 to 24 year olds and the issue of their helplessness is huge with him. He had to eliminate an employee last month because she couldn't travel alone because she was convinced she would be kidnapped, raped or otherwise harmed. She was 24 years old and she couldn't travel through airports or stay by herself in a hotel. She literally threatened to sue because the company wanted her to do something too dangerous - sleep at a Ramada I guess. Plus, overtime made her sit in DHs office and cry on a regular basis because she wants to be a good Mother someday. No, she doesn't actually have children and she isn't pregnant but she shouldn't have to work overtime because she wants to be a good Mother. Someday.

It should be an interesting Unemployment hearing for DH.

And that is just one of many stories he could tell. He has Moms call their kids in sick to work. Moms who write notes to him about personnel issues "Jimmy is picking on ______ in the lunchroom" Moms who will call payroll and about paycheck issues and then get in a snit when Payroll won't discuss whatever the problem is with her....

Our whole culture has to take responsibility for some of this.

We terrify people with horrible stories on the news every night, we make them feel unsafe even in their own homes, we tell them the world's more dangerous now than it's ever been before... and then we think there's something wrong with them when they're too scared to go anywhere by themselves!

Not defending the girl, BTW, just saying that her fears didn't arise in a cultural vacuum. And they're not all her parents' fault.

Me, I think "Snowflake" is derogatory is both the child and the parent. It is a personal attack, especially when some folks on this thread claim that practically anyone who objects to the term must either be raising snowflakes or are a snowflake themselves. "You didn't like it when I called that kid a 'speshul snowflake!'? Yeah well, that makes YOU a snowflake! So, there!"

Parents can't win. If you let your child walk to school by himself, half this board will tell you that you're a horrible person who doesn't love your child enough to keep him safe from child rapists. And if you don't, the other half will accuse you of being a "helicopter parent" raising a "snowflake".

 

[Liberty Belle]

I'm curious.
To all of you who so adamantly dislike the use of the terms in this discussion, specifically; SnowFlake, Snowy, Helicopter Parent and Mama Bear.

What simple term do you suggest we should use instead to describe these children and their parents?

I guess I would dislike any term that means the same thing. I don't see why they're needed?

 

[Magpie]

I'm curious.
To all of you who so adamantly dislike the use of the terms in this discussion, specifically; SnowFlake, Snowy, Helicopter Parent and Mama Bear.

What simple term do you suggest we should use instead to describe these children and their parents?

I'm not adamant about any of it, and I can imagine circumstances where these words might be used with humour or even affection, but... why do we need to call people names at all?

Is it possible to criticize an individual's behaviour without lumping people into unflattering categories and them dismissing them along with anyone else remotely resembling them?

I think any parent who calls a college to complain about their adult child's grade is behaving outrageously. I think they're doing a disservice to their child, by not encouraging them to fight for their own grade change. However, I don't need to call them names, or tar ALL college parents with the same brush, in order to make that point.

BTW - just because I don't like a word doesn't mean YOU have to stop using it. I'm entitled to my opinion, just as you're entitled to say what you like (within the limits of this board's rules).

 

[Conservative Hippie]

This thread has me shaking my head. Who really cares if folks sit in the car with their kids at the bus stop? I don't personally do that, but I don't think of people who do in such an annoyed manner. The trend in this discussion seems to be - those who are most bothered by 'snowflake' and 'helicopter' behaviors are the ones personally put out by it - waiting behind the bus that stops at every house, too much traffic thru town, etc. And if it doesn't affect folks directly - they imagine the future impact on their lives - 'my daughter will end up with your snowflake son who can't go to the men's room alone when he's 7!'. Live and let live, folks!

When it causes problems for people trying to drive to work in the morning (or driving anywhere) because there are so many cars lined up blocking the road, yes, I care. Not to mention it's not very "green" to drive a block, sit with your car idling, and drive another block home. Oh oh oh...and it also promotes childhood obesity by teaching your children that driving a block is better than walking a block!

 

[ccgirl]

I'm curious.
To all of you who so adamantly dislike the use of the terms in this discussion, specifically; SnowFlake, Snowy, Helicopter Parent and Mama Bear.

What simple term do you suggest we should use instead to describe these children and their parents?

Personally, I don't have a problem with any of the terms.

But....how about just using spoiled brat???? Is that any less "derogatory?"

Hey..I say....if the shoe fits.

 

[Metsfan520]

I find this thread very interesting. The OP started it last night, and has never posted on it again.

 

[MamaJessie]

"Snowflake" is a derogatory term, pure and simple. What makes it worse is that it is applied by adults to children.

I agree. I know it is a REFLECTION of the parent but it is a term used on a child. Unfair to them and not their fault.

a school bus that stops on every. single. corner. to pick up children in order to carry them...

....wait for it......

....five blocks to the school.

This makes me crazy too! We live a couple streets away and my kids walk to school and I had a bus driver tell me I should apply to be on the route. Crazy!

FWIW I don't really care how other people parent their kids. Being a helicopter parent isn't my thing , but everyone parents their own way and as long as no one is getting hurt, so be it.

 

[Magpie]

Personally, I don't have a problem with any of the terms.

But....how about just using spoiled brat???? Is that any less "derogatory?"

Hey..I say....if the shoe fits.

Hey, I like this suggestion! No more hiding behind "cutesy" words. Let's just cut straight to the chase and say what we really mean.

I think I like "spoiled brat" better because there have always been "spoiled brats". Every generation has them. Snowflake (because it's newer) only ever seems to apply to the current generation of children and their parents.

 

[Carly_Roach]

Our whole culture has to take responsibility for some of this.

We terrify people with horrible stories on the news every night, we make them feel unsafe even in their own homes, we tell them the world's more dangerous now than it's ever been before... and then we think there's something wrong with them when they're too scared to go anywhere by themselves!

Not defending the girl, BTW, just saying that her fears didn't arise in a cultural vacuum. And they're not all her parents' fault.

Me, I think "Snowflake" is derogatory is both the child and the parent. It is a personal attack, especially when some folks on this thread claim that practically anyone who objects to the term must either be raising snowflakes or are a snowflake themselves. "You didn't like it when I called that kid a 'speshul snowflake!'? Yeah well, that makes YOU a snowflake! So, there!"

Parents can't win. If you let your child walk to school by himself, half this board will tell you that you're a horrible person who doesn't love your child enough to keep him safe from child rapists. And if you don't, the other half will accuse you of being a "helicopter parent" raising a "snowflake".

True, that.

But whenever that happens to me and the board tries to define me as something I'm not, I remind myself that there are millions upon millions of people out there. 10 posters on a Disney theme park internet bulletin board represent the tiniest fraction of opinions available. And I refuse to allow 10 or 20 people to define who I am.

As far as the whole culture being responsible for people not feeling safe....eehhhh I'm not sure I'm with you on that one. I will agree that the media is greatly responsible for marketing the biggest flash so they can sell advertising. But all the dangers people are afraid of today have been around for eons.

24 y/o women not only weren't afraid to go on business trips alone in the 70's and 80's, they JUMPED at the chance to get out and see the world! Growing up, the majority of them were given the tools necessary to know how to handle themselves. Today it seems that fear is the motivating factor, which is truly sad. Fear keeps people from doing MANY things that would stretch and strengthen themselves, rounding them out as a person so to speak.

Even sadder is that fear is becoming an accepted excuse for not doing things.

 

[mamacatnv]

I guess I would dislike any term that means the same thing. I don't see why they're needed?

I'm not adamant about any of it, and I can imagine circumstances where these words might be used with humour or even affection, but... why do we need to call people names at all?

Is it possible to criticize an individual's behaviour without lumping people into unflattering categories and them dismissing them along with anyone else remotely resembling them?

I think any parent who calls a college to complain about their adult child's grade is behaving outrageously. I think they're doing a disservice to their child, by not encouraging them to fight for their own grade change. However, I don't need to call them names, or tar ALL college parents with the same brush, in order to make that point.

BTW - just because I don't like a word doesn't mean YOU have to stop using it. I'm entitled to my opinion, just as you're entitled to say what you like (within the limits of this board's rules).

Personally, I don't have a problem with any of the terms.

But....how about just using spoiled brat???? Is that any less "derogatory?"

Hey..I say....if the shoe fits.

How should we refer to the parent or child that exhibits the behavior we discussed in this thread. Inevitably some sort of term or "label" is going to come into play.
I've been told I'm a bit of a control freak, thats a label but I don't honestly know a better term to describe some of my personality traits,
How about someone who exhibits OCD tendencies and we call them on it, that too is a label.
Honestly, its words, perhaps they are over used, perhaps YOU(not anyone specific) don't like it or YOU (again not anyone specific) choose to use something else.
My question remains, how do we refer to people without using terms or labels that SOMEONE (not anyone specific) is going to take offense to or have an issue with?

 

[ccgirl]

How should we refer to the parent or child that exhibits the behavior we discussed in this thread. Inevitably some sort of term or "label" is going to come into play.
I've been told I'm a bit of a control freak, thats a label but I don't honestly know a better term to describe some of my personality traits,
How about someone who exhibits OCD tendencies and we call them on it, that too is a label.
Honestly, its words, perhaps they are over used, perhaps YOU(not anyone specific) don't like it or YOU (again not anyone specific) choose to use something else.
My question remains, how do we refer to people without using terms or labels that SOMEONE (not anyone specific) is going to take offense to or have an issue with?

Honestly, I don't think there is any way to do it. The minute you attach a label or name to something there will always be someone that takes offense to it.

 

[U2_rocks!]

I'm SO jealous of your system!

I had to pay over 800 dollars for my daughter's ten month bus pass. And next year when my son starts high school, I'm going to have to pay for TWO bus passes!

Just so you know that the kids are using the same buses as all walks of adult life, and I mean ALL walks .....

 

[U2_rocks!]

Honestly, I don't think there is any way to do it. The minute you attach a label or name to something there will always be someone that takes offense to it.

Pretty much.

 

[angierae]

Someone I know works at an International Academy High School, and the both helicopter parent and "not a snowflake" are used a lot. Mostly regarding parents who schedule meetings with the principal because little Madison needs to be in third hour math with her best friend, no matter how disruptive it is to the rest of her schedule.

The stories I hear about the parents in that school gives me the willies, up to and including a parent who insisted that her daughter shouldn't automatically fail a class (as spelled out by their honor code) for STEALING A FINAL EXAM because "everybody cheats."

Are these parents common? No, but they exist, and I feel sorry for their kids, honestly.

 

[Carly_Roach]

Just so you know that the kids are using the same buses as all walks of adult life, and I mean ALL walks .....

I'm not sure what your point is. So the kids are using the same buses that pedophiles, rapists, murderers, letches and thieves are using. They're also using the same buses that deacons, mothers, fathers, priests, nuns, stenographers, attorneys, policemen, firemen and average working joes are using, too.

Was that your point when you said ALL walks of adult life? Or is this yet another warning about the boogeyman lurking in every corner waiting to snatch the innocent child and defile him/her?

 

[disneyjunkie]

What's wrong with kids using public transportation?