What is a snowflake?

[jrmasm]

It isn't. No one says "that parent is a snowflake". Helicopter Mom is the name for the parent.

Also, I see people here jumping to the conclusion that a child is a "snowflake" when we don't know anything about parent behavior. I see posts where, perhaps, a teacher, describes a child's behavior and people label the child a "snowflake" even though we know nothing about parent behavior at all.

I think of "snowflake" as the new way of saying "spoiled". If someone called me "spoiled" I wouldn't think "Oh, they aren't insulting me, they're insulting my mother". I'd take it as a personal insult.

Yes it is. The helicopter parent created the snowflake. They are responsible. It is derogatory to the parent.

And I don't think that spoiled is the same thing at all. The terms can overlap but they're not the same.

 

[Carly_Roach]

No but snowflakes do.

 

[Conservative Hippie]

I live in an extremely safe neighborhood, all cul de sacs. The bus stop happens to be across the street from my house. You should see the line of cars when it rains. Apparently, children melt?

This is like my neighborhood, except it's not only when it rains, it's every single day!! We're not on a cul-de-sac, but there is only one street that goes in and out from our neighborhood into the larger development. Every single morning and every single afternoon around 3, there is a traffic jam of cars waiting at the bus stop. I walk around the neighborhood several times a week, and it takes me about 10 minutes to go from the bus stop to the houses furthest away from it. I know they just drop off/pick up their kids and turn around and go back to their houses. I can see doing that if you are on your way to work and want to wait with your child, or if it is raining, or freezing (we're Floridians, we're wimps), or if your child has some huge project to carry to school. But every single day???? Come on parents, walk to the bus stop yourself and walk your kids home!

 

[RitaE]

Originally Posted by Jessica14 View Post
As far as the bus thing goes, its more about drivers racing down the street and not paying attention to the walkers as opposed to kids getting cold or wet or being too lazy to walk. Around here, people have no problem speeding through school zones and residental neighborhoods. We have a curve in my road that people zoom through and pay no attention to the fact that kids are around. So, I really think its more of a legit safety issue than a "my delicate child" issue.

I don't know if I agree. We've had traffic and speeding cars for many decades now. Yes, accidents happen and when they do they are tragic.

There was a time when responsible parenting dictated that you taught your child how to be extra careful walking in regards traffic. "Make sure you look both ways several times, stay on the sidewalks, don't you dare cross that street until the Crossing Guard says it is okay. Hold your little sisters hand when you cross and make sure she is okay."

Now we say "No. No way can you handle that responsibility" and we totally remove the child from the situation in the name of safety. But at the same time we also totally remove the child from the opportunity to learn how to handle themselves.

 

[kamik86]

My mom drove me to middle school MANY times. In middle and high school I took the bus which I did have to walk about half way to the middle school to pick up.

The reason for the drive wasn't that I didn't want to walk but just timing. I had to be in homeroom by 8. Mom had to be to work which was right next to the school at 8. So by leaving 5 min earlier she could drop me off. If we were running behind I would write a note in the car she would go straight to work so she wasn't late and would sign in the work parking lot before I walked over.

 

[ccgirl]

I'm a SAHM and we only have one car.

That is atrocious!

No but snowflakes do.

I didn't even get the pun until you said this. Made me laugh. Thanks!

This is like my neighborhood, except it's not only when it rains, it's every single day!! We're not on a cul-de-sac, but there is only one street that goes in and out from our neighborhood into the larger development. Every single morning and every single afternoon around 3, there is a traffic jam of cars waiting at the bus stop. I walk around the neighborhood several times a week, and it takes me about 10 minutes to go from the bus stop to the houses furthest away from it. I know they just drop off/pick up their kids and turn around and go back to their houses. I can see doing that if you are on your way to work and want to wait with your child, or if it is raining, or freezing (we're Floridians, we're wimps), or if your child has some huge project to carry to school. But every single day???? Come on parents, walk to the bus stop yourself and walk your kids home!

Again, I say to you... Walk???? Clearly, I can see from your posts you are not normal. (said kiddingly). I have personally known two moms that were late for work and hoping they didn't get in trouble because their child could not wait in the rain. I just don't get it; you would jepardize your job so your child didn't have to wait in the rain? Buy them an umbrella and move on.

 

[Planogirl]

One lady at my son's middle school probably had these thoughts about me. DS was 11 and the school is just a smidgen under 2 miles away. You have to cross busy roads, some with no sidewalks, and DS often had to carry projects plus part of the time the walking would have been while it was still dark.

We can see the bus stop from our house but the school wouldn't let him ride. Our house is two houses out of the zone. I was upset with the lady who told me this and said so particularly since we pay high taxes here. I didn't mind the kid walking but the high speed traffic bothered me. In retrospect, it wasn't her fault or her rule and I was acting like a helicopter parent and like DS was a snowflake. I take full responsibility.

Anyway, I can see how the terms can be used to be insulting but so can 'stupid' when it's a perfectly good word to describe some acts or 'weird' when it is useful to describe both people and activities! And so on. Saying that a word can be used to insult doesn't mean that the word shouldn't ever be used IMO.

 

[jrmasm]

I'd rather parents drive to bus stops if they feel they must than have them calling the transportation department and insist that the bus must stop at every house.

 

[NikitaZee]

This thread has me shaking my head. Who really cares if folks sit in the car with their kids at the bus stop? I don't personally do that, but I don't think of people who do in such an annoyed manner. The trend in this discussion seems to be - those who are most bothered by 'snowflake' and 'helicopter' behaviors are the ones personally put out by it - waiting behind the bus that stops at every house, too much traffic thru town, etc. And if it doesn't affect folks directly - they imagine the future impact on their lives - 'my daughter will end up with your snowflake son who can't go to the men's room alone when he's 7!'. Live and let live, folks!

 

[olwyngdh]

I liked government cheese. I remember my dad getting an institutional sized block of it one time.

My Dad bought a used deli slicer at a garage sale so he could cut it up and freeze it in one pound packages. As far as I was concerned, they could keep the dried milk (blech!) but the honey when you got it was fantastic!

 

[Luv'sTink]

People on here have used the term "snowflake parent". Not trying to be snarky, just asking- I have never heard that term, what does it mean? Thanks in advance.

WOW! Look at what I found by Googling "snowflake children"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snowflake_children

 

[okeydokey]

Thanks OP for asking. I've been wondering what that means.


Okay, so what does helicopter parent mean.

A parent who calls the college professor to complain about their kids grades (yes, it happens).

 

[NikitaZee]

WOW! Look at what I found by Googling "snowflake children"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snowflake_children

Well, if the OP simply used Google, we wouldn't have this great thread, would we? Thanks to all who realize some questions are more entertaining to ask here than use Google!

 

[Magpie]

Well, if the OP simply used Google, we wouldn't have this great thread, would we? Thanks to all who realize some questions are more entertaining to ask here than use Google!

You should click on the link! The pp wasn't suggesting the OP should have just googled the answer.

 

[Scurvy]

Well, if the OP simply used Google, we wouldn't have this great thread, would we? Thanks to all who realize some questions are more entertaining to ask here than use Google!

If the OP used Google and found that link, she'd probably be even more confused about why people keep using the term on here than she was to begin with!

 

[RitaE]

This thread has me shaking my head. Who really cares if folks sit in the car with their kids at the bus stop? I don't personally do that, but I don't think of people who do in such an annoyed manner. The trend in this discussion seems to be - those who are most bothered by 'snowflake' and 'helicopter' behaviors are the ones personally put out by it - waiting behind the bus that stops at every house, too much traffic thru town, etc. And if it doesn't affect folks directly - they imagine the future impact on their lives - 'my daughter will end up with your snowflake son who can't go to the men's room alone when he's 7!'. Live and let live, folks!

Nobody really cares until it gets to the point where it effects you.

My husband hires many 18 to 24 year olds and the issue of their helplessness is huge with him. He had to eliminate an employee last month because she couldn't travel alone because she was convinced she would be kidnapped, raped or otherwise harmed. She was 24 years old and she couldn't travel through airports or stay by herself in a hotel. She literally threatened to sue because the company wanted her to do something too dangerous - sleep at a Ramada I guess. Plus, overtime made her sit in DHs office and cry on a regular basis because she wants to be a good Mother someday. No, she doesn't actually have children and she isn't pregnant but she shouldn't have to work overtime because she wants to be a good Mother. Someday.

It should be an interesting Unemployment hearing for DH.

And that is just one of many stories he could tell. He has Moms call their kids in sick to work. Moms who write notes to him about personnel issues "Jimmy is picking on ______ in the lunchroom" Moms who will call payroll and about paycheck issues and then get in a snit when Payroll won't discuss whatever the problem is with her....

 

[NikitaZee]

You should click on the link! The pp wasn't suggesting the OP should have just googled the answer.

Sorry LuvsTink! Who knew?

If the OP used Google and found that link, she'd probably be even more confused about why people keep using the term on here than she was to begin with!

Agreed!

 

[Carly_Roach]

This thread has me shaking my head. Who really cares if folks sit in the car with their kids at the bus stop? I don't personally do that, but I don't think of people who do in such an annoyed manner. The trend in this discussion seems to be - those who are most bothered by 'snowflake' and 'helicopter' behaviors are the ones personally put out by it - waiting behind the bus that stops at every house, too much traffic thru town, etc. And if it doesn't affect folks directly - they imagine the future impact on their lives - 'my daughter will end up with your snowflake son who can't go to the men's room alone when he's 7!'. Live and let live, folks!

Yes, you have a point there. When it happens to me, I do tend to get rather irked after sitting through three separate "long kiss goodbye" partings on a weekday morning, patiently trying not to think about how high gas prices are while my car, and the 13 behind me, are idling, waiting for the world to start up again after yet another warm, precious child finally scampers out of the SUV and onto the bus.

I also consider those Halmark moments to be teachable. I now know which roads to avoid when driving to work. Unlike the teacup or snowflake, I don't try to change the world to fit my schedule; I change myself to fit my schedule. Something I learned how to do when I was...oh...maybe five?

But the effect of the 'teacup' or 'snowflake' children comes to us from other avenues, too. And that could be where some of the bitterness you may be sensing from these posts is coming from. It's the interns we have to deal with who don't know how to research what we need them to research so we wind up having to do that job anyway. It's the fresh college graduate who has to stop whatever she's doing every 10 minutes to IM or text her friend, mother or boyfriend.

God forbid an unexpected meeting happens! Afterwards it's at least 20 minutes of chatting texting and/or frantic phone calls wondering where she was.

And I know I'll be forgiven for moving an office mate's cell phone to a closet or distant drawer when it was left at the office for several hours but the damn thing wouldn't stop ringing or beeping every 5 minutes. "Faithfully" is a cute ringtone once. Maybe twice. 15 times in 40 minutes? He's lucky I didn't take it to the ladies bathroom and flush it.

So yes, there is a sense of angst or disgust when bringing up the term "snowflake" on many people's parts. Some because they don't like what they consider to be a derogatory term. Others because they don't like what they consider to be derogatory behavior that's inflicted upon them from snowflakes.

 

[disneyjunkie]

I'm SO jealous of your system!

I had to pay over 800 dollars for my daughter's ten month bus pass. And next year when my son starts high school, I'm going to have to pay for TWO bus passes![/QU Most kids in NYC (Brooklyn,Bronx,Queens, Manhattan and Staten Island)use public transportation to get to school. The city provides full fare or half fare metrocards for school kids (public, private,charter and faith based). Family income is not a factor in who gets a metrocard. They only look at the distance you live from your school. If you live close enough to walk, you don't get a metrocard. Half fare cards can only be used on buses. Full fare cards can be used on both buses and subways.

 

[ccgirl]

This thread has me shaking my head. Who really cares if folks sit in the car with their kids at the bus stop? I don't personally do that, but I don't think of people who do in such an annoyed manner. The trend in this discussion seems to be - those who are most bothered by 'snowflake' and 'helicopter' behaviors are the ones personally put out by it - waiting behind the bus that stops at every house, too much traffic thru town, etc. And if it doesn't affect folks directly - they imagine the future impact on their lives - 'my daughter will end up with your snowflake son who can't go to the men's room alone when he's 7!'. Live and let live, folks!

I care because they park on both side of the street and it is hard for me to squeeze by. They also park on my lawn. If that didn't happen, I wouldn't care. Just making conversation and think it's foolish but, hey...if they want to use their gasoline to do it that's their own business.

WOW! Look at what I found by Googling "snowflake children"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snowflake_children

Wow!!! Did not know that.