What is a snowflake?

[Liberty Belle]

For the 40th time , the term is derogatory to parents, not children.

I disagree. I've seen it used to be derogatory towards parents and children.

 

[Magpie]

Oh Maggie, that post was bait for you to pick up. Don't take it, my friend. Walk away.

Oh. geez... you're so right!

 

[punkin]

For the 40th time , the term is derogatory to parents, not children.

I disagree. It is applied to children. "Helicopter parents" are the adults but "snowflakes" are children. I do not like "helicopter" either, but it does not get under my skin like "snowflake" does because it is directed toward adults.

 

[jrmasm]

I disagree. I've seen it used to be derogatory towards parents and children.

And I think that's because you're personalizing it.

I have no idea if you should or not, but I think you are.

eta: if the term is derogatory to a child, then it's not being used correctly.

 

[ccgirl]

Generally I think it is used to describe a kid who is so super-speshul and fragile (like a delicate snowflake) who must be hoisted up on a pedestal and sheltered from all negativity, lest said snowflake melt away. Usually owned by a helicopter-parent.

This is the best definition ever.

 

[tlbwriter]

What is the term for "overly-sensitive DIS posters"?

DIS posters.

 

[Scurvy]

To me, a snowflake is the child of parents who think she is more perfect, special and unique than anyone else in the world. More importantly, they think she must be treated as such by everyone. When used about a child, the term is definitely aimed more at the parents than the child. Eventually the child grows up and is old enough to realize that the real world doesn't revolve around them. At that point, if they still expect to be treated as the special snowflake their parents thought they were, then it becomes a reflection of them as well. I agree with those who are surprised that there are posters who haven't heard the term "snowflake" or "Helicopter parent" except on the Dis. I've heard both for years, starting long before I discovered the Disboards. Initially I heard them mostly around universities, but they seem to be much more widely used now. I still mostly hear them in educational settings, but they are also used on lots of message boards. Most places do seem to use the term "special snowflake" rather than just "Snowflake", and the term is used to refer to people of all ages rather than being used mostly about children as it is on the Dis. I was tickled by the implication that they can't be widely used terms just because they aren't in professional journals. They aren't clinical terms, so it makes sense that you wouldn't find them there. They are certainly descriptive, though, and I think they perfectly fit the type of parenting they are used to describe.

Well maybe your community is raising snowflakes. Here if you live within a mile of school there is no bus service.

And where and when did you grow up that you only had one car. That is bazaar, everyone I knew growing up had SAHM and 2 cars. Does that make me a snowflake? Just curious. BTW, I walked and rode my bike over a mile to school even though we did have 2 cars.

I think that here on the Dis, using the word snowflake is very much like using too many curse words, and we all know what they say about people that do that, don't we.

The only bus service in my area is for the special needs students and those who are bussed across town to other schools for various reasons. Most kids don't walk because of our weather and lack of sidewalks. Parents tend to drop the kids at school on their way to work. Personally I don't see anything snowflakey about driving a child to or from school - some of my most productive conversations with my child have been during that time, when he's a captive audience. I do think it's pretty snowflakey for parents to insist that a school system start providing buses because they don't want their children to have to walk a few blocks.

I'm surprised that you find it bizarre that some people only have one car. Most people I know have two or more, but I've certainly known plenty of people over the years who had only one. For that matter, I've known some people who didn't have a car at all. It doesn't seem all that bizarre to me.

 

[U2_rocks!]

All this talk about school buses, and we don't even have them! The regular bus system does service all the school areas, and kids in school uniform get to ride for free, but the buses stop at bus stops only, they don't stop where the parents want them to. If you don't like the bus system, you find another way to get your kids to school, including walking. It's not ideal - I prefer to drive my kids (I carpool with my brother). But from the perspective of a parent here who can't drive their kids to school, your school bus systems would be a luxury, even if they didn't stop exactly where you wanted them to!

I happen to like the terms "snoflake" and "helicopter parent". Sure they can be misused (as most words can), but they are truly descriptive when you need such a word!

 

[Conservative Hippie]

And where and when did you grow up that you only had one car. That is bazaar, everyone I knew growing up had SAHM and 2 cars. Does that make me a snowflake? Just curious. BTW, I walked and rode my bike over a mile to school even though we did have 2 cars.

I'm a SAHM and we only have one car.

 

[Magpie]

All this talk about school buses, and we don't even have them! The regular bus system does service all the school areas, and kids in school uniform get to ride for free, but the buses stop at bus stops only, they don't stop where the parents want them to. If you don't like the bus system, you find another way to get your kids to school, including walking. It's not ideal - I prefer to drive my kids (I carpool with my brother). But from the perspective of a parent here who can't drive their kids to school, your school bus systems would be a luxury, even if they didn't stop exactly where you wanted them to!

I happen to like the terms "snoflake" and "helicopter parent". Sure they can be misused (as most words can), but they are truly descriptive when you need such a word!

I'm SO jealous of your system!

I had to pay over 800 dollars for my daughter's ten month bus pass. And next year when my son starts high school, I'm going to have to pay for TWO bus passes!

 

[Jessica14]

About 18 years ago, when I first started teaching, our principal refered to a parent as a "Hover Mother" so when I started to hear the word "Helicopter Parent, " I knew what it was refering to. We also had a teacher who had many years under her belt when she sadly passed away several years ago that used to talk about "reverse neglect." These were parents who had something negative to say about everything you did in class and couldn't fathom why you would have certain rules.

This woud include, "Why can't my child have water on their desk at all times?"-Because he spills it at all times. "Why does my child have to be taught estimation. Math is about being exact."-Thank you for your interest in our curriculum. Estimation is a real-life skill. "I know my daughter and I know she would never have started anything unless someone provoked her first."-No, really, it was all her.. "My child will not be allowed on any field trip unless I get to chaperone. She can get lost" -I'm sorry, we'll miss her. "My son hates going on field trips unless I can chaperone."-I'm sorry to hear that. He'll be missed. Yes these were pretty much my answers except said in a kind, professional manner.

As far as the bus thing goes, its more about drivers racing down the street and not paying attention to the walkers as opposed to kids getting cold or wet or being too lazy to walk. Around here, people have no problem speeding through school zones and residental neighborhoods. We have a curve in my road that people zoom through and pay no attention to the fact that kids are around. So, I really think its more of a legit safety issue than a "my delicate child" issue.

And although I have seen many in my career, I just find the term snowflake to be disrespectful. Don't think my kids are by the way. I try to make all kids feel special.

Jessica

 

[penn19]

Not my community; I just work there. I live in the city. Not sure what kids do around here to get to school, I just know I'm not stopped by their buses nor do I see them waiting on corners for the bus.

I grew up in the 70's. Most of my friends had parents who only had one car. It was considered the norm. If a woman worked outside the home they might have two cars, but that was infrequent. DH went to school in the late 60's to early 70's. He walked to school too and his family only had one car up until the time his brothers started driving. Then they bought their cars with after-school jobs and fixed them up.

Anyone remember the term latchkey children? That was my generation. I remember some of my friends who'd go home to an empty house and cook up whatever Mom had left out for them. There was no calling your parents at work so they knew you got home; personal calls were frowned upon by the employer and could get that working mother fired.

Calling it bizarre when hearing of a family only having one car (which was the norm for the first 50 or so years of the automobile) could indicate a generational perception. Or it could be an indication of a snowflake's raising. After all, if it hasn't happened to you or it's not something you'd do or have heard of then it's just wrong, isn't kosher, or is totally whacked.

My friends, Exhibit B.

One car in my family growing up. There were no rides to school for me. Took the bus from K-12th grade.

 

[Momvic5]

I've heard the mama bear term as long as I can remember. The words snowflake and helicopter parents are newer for me but I hear them more and more.

They often fit perfectly. Whether some like it or not people that behave like this exist and whether you say snowflake or delicate flower (I've heard that one) or whatever, these words describe certain behaviors perfectly.

Why are some getting all bent out of shape over some words anyway? If they don't apply to you what do you care?

I could careless about the term snowflake, and it is fitting of some behaviors, but here on the Dis, it is used frequently to insult rather than describe. It is like the quick "go to " term. I think we all have moments where our children could be described as snowflakes, but when the term is just thrown out to show a dislike of another's parenting choice, it is more of an insult than a description.

 

[ilovemk76]

I've heard the mama bear term as long as I can remember. The words snowflake and helicopter parents are newer for me but I hear them more and more.

They often fit perfectly. Whether some like it or not people that behave like this exist and whether you say snowflake or delicate flower (I've heard that one) or whatever, these words describe certain behaviors perfectly.

Why are some getting all bent out of shape over some words anyway? If they don't apply to you what do you care?

I have heard the terms on other internet sites and in real life. My Aunt from the mid-west knew the term "helicopter parent" and she has never surfed the net in her life.


Around my area the school bus drops off and picks up at the end of a street. I laugh at all the moms who take their kid to the bus stop (maybe a 1/10th of a mile away) in their SUVs and the kid stays in the parked SUV until the bus arrives. They do the same at the end of the day. I hate it when there are cars parked on both sides and barely enough room for a car to actually use the road. Only a few kids walk even in Jr. high. By high school all the kids either hitch a ride with another kid or drive their car to school.

 

[ccgirl]

Don't get me started on that. I see it every day. I'm glad I'm not behind the bus that has to wait for that child to get her goodbye kiss, collect all her paraphernalia, and get out of the car while the bus and traffic waits for her.

I live in an extremely safe neighborhood, all cul de sacs. The bus stop happens to be across the street from my house. You should see the line of cars when it rains. Apparently, children melt?

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

For the 40th time , the term is derogatory to parents, not children.

It isn't. No one says "that parent is a snowflake". Helicopter Mom is the name for the parent.

Also, I see people here jumping to the conclusion that a child is a "snowflake" when we don't know anything about parent behavior. I see posts where, perhaps, a teacher, describes a child's behavior and people label the child a "snowflake" even though we know nothing about parent behavior at all.

I think of "snowflake" as the new way of saying "spoiled". If someone called me "spoiled" I wouldn't think "Oh, they aren't insulting me, they're insulting my mother". I'd take it as a personal insult.

 

[Carly_Roach]

As far as the bus thing goes, its more about drivers racing down the street and not paying attention to the walkers as opposed to kids getting cold or wet or being too lazy to walk. Around here, people have no problem speeding through school zones and residental neighborhoods. We have a curve in my road that people zoom through and pay no attention to the fact that kids are around. So, I really think its more of a legit safety issue than a "my delicate child" issue.

My DH attributes that to "snowflakes grown up": everything in the world is, of course, all about them.

So the speed limit in a school zone between the hours of 7:30 and 8:30 is considered stupid because it "makes them late for work". And "why are these kids walking anyway? Don't their parents take them to school? My parents did."

Oh the stories I could tell you about teacup and snowflake adults. My DH keeps me bewildered as to how these people actually managed to graduate college.

I still maintain that having schoolbusses picking up kids on every. single. corner. of a small town WITH sidewalks so those busses can drop them off five blocks away is a bit snowflakey to me. But that's just my opinion. That and $7.95 will get you a cup of latte.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile. ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 17
http://www.quotegarden.com/bk-fc.html

LMAO... The term came from Fight Club?!?! Hahaha that is awesome. Chuck rocks, love his books.

 

[jrmasm]

I live in an extremely safe neighborhood, all cul de sacs. The bus stop happens to be across the street from my house. You should see the line of cars when it rains. Apparently, children melt?

No but snowflakes do.

 

[wvjules]