What is a snowflake?

[LaurenT]

Along with helicopter - they both give me a They are both words beloved by a group of DISers who have taken it upon themselves to prove that most children are much too fragile, and parents are much too overprotective.

I'll disagree that both terms are widely used elsewhere. I read a million periodicals, journals and articles, and never heard the terms until I saw them being used on here. I did a search, and could not find those terms 'widely' used at all. Did find mention of them in a few parenting or psychology articles, but not that exact wording. Asked my teaching colleagues, and checked many of my Spec. Ed readings, and nothing there either.

Tiger

I just came across this thread doing a search for "what is a snowflake" after seeing it mentioned in another thread. I had never heard it before and at first I googled it..
it came up as a child who is implanted in the mother from a frozen embryo...I thought that couldn't possibly be what they were talking about - so did a search here and ....here it is!
So, if I take my daughter to WDW way too often...does that make her a snowflake? Even if I make her pull her weight and know that she is not above average?
Am I a helicopter mom if I insist that she finish her homework as soon as she comes home, but will not help her wit it beyond doing the first example for a concept she says she doesn't understand?

 

[mhsjax]

I just came across this thread doing a search for "what is a snowflake" after seeing it mentioned in another thread. I had never heard it before and at first I googled it..
it came up as a child who is implanted in the mother from a frozen embryo...I thought that couldn't possibly be what they were talking about - so did a search here and ....here it is!
So, if I take my daughter to WDW way too often...does that make her a snowflake? Even if I make her pull her weight and know that she is not above average?
Am I a helicopter mom if I insist that she finish her homework as soon as she comes home, but will not help her wit it beyond doing the first example for a concept she says she doesn't understand?

Depends on who you ask. If they agree with you, you aren't a snowflake, but if they disagree you be told that your child is a snowflake and will grow up to be a good for nothing adult that can't handle anything that life throws at them.

 

[LaurenT]

Depends on who you ask. If they agree with you, you aren't a snowflake, but if they disagree you be told that your child is a snowflake and will grow up to be a good for nothing adult that can't handle anything that life throws at them.

Wow! Amazing someone can tell how your child will turn out just by your posts on a thread! They must be geniuses!

 

[disfan07]

Both snowflake and helicopter parents are very commonly used in my former high school and in my college. And there's a reason. Many children being raised today are snowflakes. At least the parents think they are and treat them like they are. This goes right along with all children getting awards, no child can fail, etc. This turns them into the students in college that, when they fail a test, or have problems with a teacher or don't get Dean's list, etc, they completely freak out and think they deserve it just becaus ethey were brought up to think they are more special then everyone else. I've seen it...a lot.

One of my former professors is only about 8-9 years older than most of her students (she's 29) and she has said that the students coming into her classes get worse every year. They are incapable of doing anything for themselves adn need to be spoonfed everything which she refuses to do. They think they deserve everything to be given to them without actually having to do any work. She constantly has students saying that she needs to give them a certain grade even though they didnt work for it and don't deserve it.

These are also children who have been so sheltered their entire lives that they just don't know how to deal with anything on their own. When parents are still going into HIGH SCHOOL to talk to their childs teacher because there is a problem instead of the child dealing with it themselves (with higher ups getting involved if necessary), those children are snowflake children.

I've seen evidence of this in preschool and it is usually that the parents believe that their child is so perfect that they could never get into trouble so teh child thinks that they can get away with anything.


In college, the tiniest little crack will break these teacups and they will never be able to handle the real world unless someone finally knocks some sense of responsibility into them.

 

[PollyannaMom]

...How many of us could fall into either category (helicopter or free range parent) at any single moment of our lives. I know that my family has fit into both from time to time...

I agree,

...At this point, my children are surviving both my babying and my neglect...

And I love that line!

I remember first hearing the term "free range" parenting when a mom in NYC was allowing her [9-year-old] child to ride the subway alone...

That's true. There are also a book and a website now.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

Depends on who you ask. If they agree with you, you aren't a snowflake, but if they disagree you be told that your child is a snowflake and will grow up to be a good for nothing adult that can't handle anything that life throws at them.

This, to me, is why the snowflake term is so uncool in my mind. If I call someone a "spoiled brat" I'm implying something about them right now in the moment. I'm pretty sure I've called my own child a spoiled brat (not to his face, but in conversations with close friends) when he did something that earned that term, but I meant "right now he's acting like one". A child can be a spoiled brat at 9 in the morning, a perfect angel at 10 and something entirely different at 4 p.m.

However, a large part of the phenomenon of labeling kids "snowflakes" is this idea that we can look at a snapshot of a child's life, and make predictions about what they're going to be like as adults. I'm a big believer that children live up or down to society's expectations, and giving a child a message that I expect them to mess up or be incapable of doing something, because of something they have no control over, seems like a very damaging thing.

So, call me a helicopter parent if you see me hovering, but don't imply that you can see my child's future. Let him find his own path.

 

[mhsjax]

Wow! Amazing someone can tell how your child will turn out just by your posts on a thread! They must be geniuses!

But don't you know? Everyone here on the Dis is a genius.

 

[laurie31]

I just came across this thread doing a search for "what is a snowflake" after seeing it mentioned in another thread. I had never heard it before and at first I googled it..
it came up as a child who is implanted in the mother from a frozen embryo...I thought that couldn't possibly be what they were talking about - so did a search here and ....here it is!
So, if I take my daughter to WDW way too often...does that make her a snowflake? Even if I make her pull her weight and know that she is not above average?
Am I a helicopter mom if I insist that she finish her homework as soon as she comes home, but will not help her wit it beyond doing the first example for a concept she says she doesn't understand?

She would be a snowflake if you didn't make her do her homework at all, you did it FOR her. Because she is too wonderful and amazing to spend any of her time doing something so mundane as homework. And if she (you) didn't get an A, you go up to the school and demand to see the principal about it.

You sound like a normal parent to me.