Weird situation--what would you do?

[holycow]

I think everything has been said in regards to this but I just had to add my


I CAN BELIEVE SOME PEOPLE! Holy crap! I would ask my DD if she still wants to be this girls friend cause I"d be voicing my disproval of the situation.

 

[Mkrop]

Why the girls didn't do anything Why punish them

The girl who is suppose to be the OP's DD's FRIEND, lied to her by not coming clean about the dress and not returning it in its proper condition. She lied when asked if the sister was wearing it on FB. And friend handed her damaged property back at school in a Kohls bag. She lied to her when she did hand her back in the same condition that the DD left it at the house in.

If the friend had come clean and said my sister took this and wore it, I am so sorry, let me make it right, then the friendship could be salvaged. The girl is just as responsible as the sister who wore it and the mother who lied about it whereabouts and about altering it.

 

[sookie]

in a way, it is like stealing, especially if the dress ends up ruined...

 

[ColoradoMom!!]

OK - so what is even weirder is that the crazy other mom also sent it to Colorado and allowed my son's Homecoming date to wear it too!!!

Just couldn't believe when you posted the pic! Beautiful dress by the way, and love it in blue. I still can't believe what you have been through!

I cut off the heads here to protect the these poor kiddos and the crazy picture snapping mom that I am.

 

[disykat]

I'm not sure why people keep trying to blame the friend. From the OP, it sounded like friend was also taken by surprise by seeing her sister in the dress. It was friend's sister and mother who did this. I'm guessing friend is mortified and there's certainly no indication SHE was dishonest. You don't get to pick your family. It's not her fault if her mother and sister are nuts.

I agree that if friend was in on it, the friendship is probably over. But there was no indication of that in the OP.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

OK - so what is even weirder is that the crazy other mom also sent it to Colorado and allowed my son's Homecoming date to wear it too!!!

Just couldn't believe when you posted the pic! Beautiful dress by the way, and love it in blue. I still can't believe what you have been through!

I cut off the heads here to protect the these poor kiddos and the crazy picture snapping mom that I am.

Mighty violent cutting off teens heads?

 

[design_mom]

I'm not sure why people keep trying to blame the friend. From the OP, it sounded like friend was also taken by surprise by seeing her sister in the dress. It was friend's sister and mother who did this. I'm guessing friend is mortified and there's certainly no indication SHE was dishonest. You don't get to pick your family. It's not her fault if her mother and sister are nuts.

I agree that if friend was in on it, the friendship is probably over. But there was no indication of that in the OP.

I agree. In the OP, it says the OP's daughter confronted the friend about her sister's picture wearing an identical dress. The friend asked her mother, who said that the sister owned an identical dress, but the friend told the OP's daughter that she didn't think her sister actually owned the dress. It sounds like the friend was neither "in on it" nor approved of what the mother/sister were doing. If the friend was incapable of fixing the dress herself, it seems like the only thing she *could* do was bring back the dress in whatever condition it was in. At least the OP's daughter has her dress back -- I'm not sure she would have gotten it if she'd only asked the mom.

I don't blame the OP for being furious. I am not sure how I'd handle it. I think what she did is really rotten. However, I really don't think you're going to get the mom to admit that her daughter wore the dress (or get her to pay for the dress). If she's told so many lies already, I don't think she's going to suddenly come clean. I probably wouldn't "forgive and forget" either... but chalk it up to a lesson learned and have my guard up around this family from here on out.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

OK - so what is even weirder is that the crazy other mom also sent it to Colorado and allowed my son's Homecoming date to wear it too!!!

Just couldn't believe when you posted the pic! Beautiful dress by the way, and love it in blue. I still can't believe what you have been through!

I cut off the heads here to protect the these poor kiddos and the crazy picture snapping mom that I am.

 

[Jeafl]

OK - so what is even weirder is that the crazy other mom also sent it to Colorado and allowed my son's Homecoming date to wear it too!!!

Just couldn't believe when you posted the pic! Beautiful dress by the way, and love it in blue. I still can't believe what you have been through!

I cut off the heads here to protect the these poor kiddos and the crazy picture snapping mom that I am.

So THAT'S where the dress has been!! Too funny Colorado Mom!

Well, here's the update.

Last night I went over there with 2 pictures of the daughter wearing the dress and asked the mom (very calmly) for an explanation. She did not back down on her story that her daughter owned the same dress. She told me that when her daughter saw my daughter's dress she decided to get one for herself. Ironically, I asked her what website she ordered it from, because I may have to order a new one because of the damage to my daughter's. I told her maybe she got a better deal. she said she couldn't remember, but also threw out there that she couldn't show me her daughter's dress because it was...wait for it...at the cleaners.

At that point I knew I was wasting my time. I finally told her "Here is what I think happened. I think your daughter borrowed the dress without permission and damaged it in the process. I also don't believe the dress was cleaned because there was no dry cleaning bag and it smelled of perfume" i forgot to mention to her that the alterations weren't even done.

She then proceeded to tell me that she saves dry cleaning bags so she took the dress out of the bag and put it in a different bag so she could keep the dry cleaning bag. What a bunch of bull. Anyway, my daughter's friend came down the stairs, heard the conversation and totally lost it. She started crying and yelling at her mother to stop lying. Then my daughter's friend offered to pay me for the cleaning and repairs. I of course said no. None of this was her fault.

At that point I just went home and chalked it up to lesson learned. The woman is a psychopathic liar, and I feel sorry for my daughter's friend. I guess I do need to take my share of the responsibility for leaving the dress there that long. The truth is, I forgot that it was even there. I teach special ed and I have a really difficult group this year. I guess I was a little too consumed with the other stuff going on in my life.

In any case, I pick the dress up this afternoon, and hopefully it looks ok. I will let you all know how it all works out.

 

[t_daniels]

So THAT'S where the dress has been!! Too funny Colorado Mom!

Well, here's the update.

Last night I went over there with 2 pictures of the daughter wearing the dress and asked the mom (very calmly) for an explanation. She did not back down on her story that her daughter owned the same dress. She told me that when her daughter saw my daughter's dress she decided to get one for herself. Ironically, I asked her what website she ordered it from, because I may have to order a new one because of the damage to my daughter's. I told her maybe she got a better deal. she said she couldn't remember, but also threw out there that she couldn't show me her daughter's dress because it was...wait for it...at the cleaners.

At that point I knew I was wasting my time. I finally told her "Here is what I think happened. I think your daughter borrowed the dress without permission and damaged it in the process. I also don't believe the dress was cleaned because there was no dry cleaning bag and it smelled of perfume" i forgot to mention to her that the alterations weren't even done.

She then proceeded to tell me that she saves dry cleaning bags so she took the dress out of the bag and put it in a different bag so she could keep the dry cleaning bag. What a bunch of bull. Anyway, my daughter's friend came down the stairs, heard the conversation and totally lost it. She started crying and yelling at her mother to stop lying. Then my daughter's friend offered to pay me for the cleaning and repairs. I of course said no. None of this was her fault.

At that point I just went home and chalked it up to lesson learned. The woman is a psychopathic liar, and I feel sorry for my daughter's friend. I guess I do need to take my share of the responsibility for leaving the dress there that long. The truth is, I forgot that it was even there. I teach special ed and I have a really difficult group this year. I guess I was a little too consumed with the other stuff going on in my life.

In any case, I pick the dress up this afternoon, and hopefully it looks ok. I will let you all know how it all works out.

Wow!
Good for the daughter though! Hopefully things are okay between the kids. :\

And, I really hate to say this.... but I'm a benefit of the doubt person. While I'd definitely distance myself from the mom... she could realize she's caught in a lie, and she doesn't want to risk screwing up her kids friendship by lying.

Of course, she could just be trying to save her own skin. But! The first option is definitely a possibility.

Hopefully all is sorted out and the dress is okay to wear! <3

 

[Tuffcookie]

Unbelievable!!

I agree with the pp. That was a brave thing that girl did, standing up to her mother the way she did.

That said, I wouldn't want my DD around such a loon!

TC

 

[mrsklamc]

How did mom react when her daughter called her out for lying?

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

Wow, good for the woman's DD!!

 

[mad madam mim78]

WTH? Who in their right mind would ever think doing that was ok?

I would be furious, too and would probably have a problem forming a coherent sentence.

I know!!!! I'm sitting here livid and it didn't even happen to me!! I would totally confront this person. I think this is a relationship ender. If someone could be so manipulative you shouldn't be anywhere around them.

 

[minniecarousel]

Obviously, the daughter is upset with her mother and doesn't approve of what she's done. If your daughter wants to still be friends with this girl, she should be allowed to. (It's not like she's 6!) I wouldn't want her at the girl's house, but the girl would be welcome at mine. She can't help that her mother is a looney-tune.

egads! Who does that?!

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

Wow, seems they go to the cleaners a lot! Good for the girl for calling out her mom on lying....I hope the DD didn't get in trouble for calling her out though. Crazy people.

 

[IMissEd]

Sounds like you handled it perfectly.

 

[MapleGirl]

I'm not sure why people keep trying to blame the friend. From the OP, it sounded like friend was also taken by surprise by seeing her sister in the dress. It was friend's sister and mother who did this. I'm guessing friend is mortified and there's certainly no indication SHE was dishonest. You don't get to pick your family. It's not her fault if her mother and sister are nuts.

I agree that if friend was in on it, the friendship is probably over. But there was no indication of that in the OP.

I agree. Don't blame the friend. I keep reading "Who does this!?!" Who? Well, the mom in the OP's story and..... my mom.

When I was about 15 I had some friends over for swimming. One of my guy friends came over and ended up leaving a pair of cargo shorts. He and his mom kept asking me for them but I hadn't seen the shorts and my mom said she hadn't seen them either. She said one of my brother's friends must have taken them. Then I saw my mom wearing the shorts around the house a few days later. When I confronted her and told her I needed to give them back to my friend. She refused and yelled at me to drop it. Meanwhile my friend and his mom were still asking me for them. My mom finally confessed to me the reason she wouldn't give them back was because she (men, please look away... I'm sorry for this folks...) had bled in them during her period. I was too mortified to tell my friend and told him the lie my mother told me about my brother's friend taking them.

 

[mrsklamc]

I agree. Don't blame the friend. I keep reading "Who does this!?!" Who? Well, the mom in the OP's story and..... my mom.

When I was about 15 I had some friends over for swimming. One of my guy friends came over and ended up leaving a pair of cargo shorts. He and his mom kept asking me for them but I hadn't seen the shorts and my mom said she hadn't seen them either. She said one of my brother's friends must have taken them. Then I saw my mom wearing the shorts around the house a few days later. When I confronted her and told her I needed to give them back to my friend. She refused and yelled at me to drop it. Meanwhile my friend and his mom were still asking me for them. My mom finally confessed to me the reason she wouldn't give them back was because she (men, please look away... I'm sorry for this folks...) had bled in them during her period. I was too mortified to tell my friend and told him the lie my mother told me about my brother's friend taking them.

Is your mom normally...off? Cause I find it incredibly bizarre that she put the boy's shorts on to begin with.

 

[Disney Doll]

OK - so what is even weirder is that the crazy other mom also sent it to Colorado and allowed my son's Homecoming date to wear it too!!!

Just couldn't believe when you posted the pic! Beautiful dress by the way, and love it in blue. I still can't believe what you have been through!

I cut off the heads here to protect the these poor kiddos and the crazy picture snapping mom that I am.

You cut off the kids' heads just beacuse the girl was wearing Jeanfl's daughter's dress???????

A little bit of overkill (no pun intended) don't you think? Ohhh, I'm hot tonight!

OP, you're right I guess...lesson learned.
You might at some point need to say something to DD's friend about this incident....along the lines of "Don't worry honey I don't blame you for your crazy mother"...but of course, I know you'll say it with more finesse than that. The poor kid is probably embarrassed beyond belief.