Weird situation--what would you do?

[chloelovesdisney]

Maybe I'm in the minority, but I'd go see the Mom. As others have said, WHO does this??? I'd make her look me in the eye and tell her story- then I'd tell her I looked in the mirror before I came over and it didn't say "Stupid" on my forehead. How old is your daughter? Not sure I'd want my child hanging out at their house... what else does the woman lie about?

Ditto

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I'd call up the mom and say "I think there must have been a mix up with our daughter's dresses because the one my dd has wasn't altered and has some pulls in the back and smells like perfume. Luckily I saw your dd's pic of her in the same dress and realized they must have gotten mixed up. Its really weird how they are the same size too! I'll be over tomorrow to switch them, I'm sure your dd wants hers back anyway"

I know its a bit passive aggressive, but I'd love to hear her response

This one is good also!

 

[usd2bmd]

I'd feign plausible confusion.....

"Friend, you must have returned to me your daughter's identical dress by accident. This one has been worn and isn't the new dress I dropped off. Could we please switch out the dresses asap? I'll be over in about an hour.".

GL OP!!!

This is very good...except I would say it when she answered the door, because if you give her a time that you will be there she will not be there waiting for you.

 

[StephMK]

OMG, I cannot believe someone would do that but then again, I hear things everyday on here that I can't believe people would do.

Are they having any financial problems? Was the friend's sister at a special event?

As much as I hate confrontation, I would be steamed and either show up unannounced or at least call and ask why the shoulders weren't fixed and either ask her to return the "other" dress or fess up and make it right.

 

[okeydokey]

OP, we would love an update on this one.

I think I would have to go over there and say something. Otherwise it would keep bothering me, and I would get resentful about it

 

[Jeafl]

I want to see a picture of the dress now - it has to be really pretty if something like this happened...

I would take it someplace to get it fixed and bring back the bill - and see what happens

http://i3.dreamprom.com/0/235/235194_2_100000_620.jpg

We ordered it in royal blue.

 

[hereyago]

People are cukoo cukoo aren't they? I so agree with the posters who say confront the mom. I have a no patience for people who wasgte my time or affect my money.this mom did both of saying yes I can fix it,then end up messing up it or her 1 dd messing it up. I also don't have that much patience and would never have waited to get it back,but that is just me. So what the 1 girl is friends with OP's dd? We need to teach our kids especially ourdd's not to be a doormat for anyone? These girls are older so its not like the other mom could stop them for being friends. Good luck OP.

 

[goofyintoronto]

OP, we would love an update on this one.

I think I would have to go over there and say something. Otherwise it would keep bothering me, and I would get resentful about it

totally agree. this would bug me too until i speak up and say something.

Please give us an update OP!

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S2 using DISBoards App

 

[Erin1700]

I am surprised people would let it go.

I would flip my lid on this lady and DD would not go over there anymore.

 

[goofyintoronto]

http://i3.dreamprom.com/0/235/235194_2_100000_620.jpg

We ordered it in royal blue.

what a gorgeous dress! oh hell no, i wouldnt let this one slide. not with a pretty dress like that!

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S2 using DISBoards App

 

[Jeafl]

totally agree. this would bug me too until i speak up and say something.

Please give us an update OP!

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S2 using DISBoards App

No update yet. It's my daughter's birthday so we took her out to dinner, and now I am watching the debate while surfing the net. I did drop the dress off at a cleaners who said they would try to repair the damage and clean it. I was going to wait and show it to the mom, but I was afraid I wouldn't get it back in time. I still plan on confronting the mom.

 

[Jeafl]

what a gorgeous dress! oh hell no, i wouldnt let this one slide. not with a pretty dress like that!

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S2 using DISBoards App

Thanks! The wedding is in downtown Chicago in a really nice ballroom. She needed something pretty fancy.

 

[RitaZ.]

Jill, what a crazy story! I don't know how I would handle it, but one thing is for certain, I couldn't remain calm through the confrontation.

I like dis-happy's idea; it's a smart way of handling it. If you go at the mom and directly attack her character, her reaction will be to defend herself and say that you are accusing her of being dishonest. If you use dis-happy's approach, you can maintain composure through the conversation and the mom will be the one on the spot; not you. Let her squirm while she comes up with an explanation.

Good luck with this! I'm still in disbelief that someone would do something like this.

 

[focusondisney]

Very pretty dress! I hope the cleaners can fix it, but if the damage is in the back, I'm sure noone will notice it anyway. And most weddings aren't too brightly lit, so that will make it even harder to see.


Have fun at the wedding!!

 

[runsandjumps]

I hope you can confront the mom. I don't think I would be able to contain my disbelief at the audacity of some people.

 

[Casperina]

I'd feign plausible confusion.....

"Friend, you must have returned to me your daughter's identical dress by accident. This one has been worn and isn't the new dress I dropped off. Could we please switch out the dresses asap? I'll be over in about an hour.".

GL OP!!!

Quality post.

 

[badblackpug]

First I would like to say I would confront the mom. I would have brought the dress over, showed her the damage, and asked her about the lack of alterations. I don't think I would have accused the daughter of wearing it, because it is something that I can't prove, but I probably would have said to her something along the lines of, "We left this dress with you after you offered to alter it. When my daughter picked it up yesterday not only was it not altered, it was damaged."

Now this is just a thought, but do you think the older daughter may have "borrowed" the dress without the mother's knowledge? Then, when she was "caught" on facebook tried to cover up for the daughter? Maybe she was hoping to get the dress back form the older daughter and get it fixed and cleaned, but it was not returned in time, and she continued to try to cover up for her daughter.

I am not saying this is right, and if it were me I would have offered to reimburse you for the dress but maybe the mother isn't some whack-a-doo, maybe she just found herself in a awkward spot.

 

[Styx Fan]

I'd feign plausible confusion.....

"Friend, you must have returned to me your daughter's identical dress by accident. This one has been worn and isn't the new dress I dropped off. Could we please switch out the dresses asap? I'll be over in about an hour.".

GL OP!!!

Beautiful way to handle it! I don't think it will work, but it does the confrontation in a classy way. She'll probably lie, but it would be interesting to see what she would say.

 

[sookie]

http://i3.dreamprom.com/0/235/235194_2_100000_620.jpg

We ordered it in royal blue.

It is very pretty! I don't believe for a minute that her DD happened to have a special order dress in the same color...

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I am surprised people would let it go.

I would flip my lid on this lady and DD would not go over there anymore.

Her dd is 17. She left the dress there and it is her friend.

Sometimes it is better to say to your child, what do you want to do about this instead of marching in there as the "rescue mom".

My dd's are 21 and 16 and how I approach things now is totally different from when they were younger.

Believe me, I would love to "do something" and I would in a NY minute if my dd said, I want you to say something. I am not afraid of confrontation one iota.

However, I do have to respect my kid's wishes sometimes even though it kills me.