Weird situation--what would you do?

[Sheree Bobbins]

I guess your friend was jealous of your daughter and wanted her own daughter to experience the thrill of wearing a beautiful dress. She sabatoged you and then lied to cover up. I don't know if I would refer to this mother and daughter as "friends" from this point on.
I honestly don't don't know what I would do, except I echo the sentiments that have been expressed here.

 

[MrsDuck]

I would also bring the picture of her daughter wearing your dress and the original bill so that she can immediately repay you so you can get your daughter another dress.

Absolutely this!! I'd go see the mom. This is just absurd.

 

[dbrn]

I'd feign plausible confusion.....

"Friend, you must have returned to me your daughter's identical dress by accident. This one has been worn and isn't the new dress I dropped off. Could we please switch out the dresses asap? I'll be over in about an hour.".

GL OP!!!

This is exactly what I was thinking!

 

[sam_gordon]

I'd feign plausible confusion.....

"Friend, you must have returned to me your daughter's identical dress by accident. This one has been worn and isn't the new dress I dropped off. Could we please switch out the dresses asap? I'll be over in about an hour.".

GL OP!!!

Well played!

 

[mom2travel]

I'd feign plausible confusion.....

"Friend, you must have returned to me your daughter's identical dress by accident. This one has been worn and isn't the new dress I dropped off. Could we please switch out the dresses asap? I'll be over in about an hour.".

GL OP!!!

This is a great idea! Play dumb right back at her

 

[focusondisney]

I'd feign plausible confusion.....

"Friend, you must have returned to me your daughter's identical dress by accident. This one has been worn and isn't the new dress I dropped off. Could we please switch out the dresses asap? I'll be over in about an hour.".

GL OP!!!

Oooooh, I love this! That would be a great way to call her out. Of course, she'll probably have some excuse, but I'd want to see her stumble thru coming up with another lie. The I'd give her an "uh huh, sure" eye roll.

I wonder how old the daughter is too. I feel sorry for her friend, with a liar for a mom. I don't like to see kids getting judged because of their parent or sibling, but I would discourage my DD from spending anymore time at her house. I would let her come to my house tho.

 

[happygirl]

I would probably do nothing. I wouldn't want to upset my daughter friendship with this girl

 

[LiveYourLife]

I'd feign plausible confusion.....

"Friend, you must have returned to me your daughter's identical dress by accident. This one has been worn and isn't the new dress I dropped off. Could we please switch out the dresses asap? I'll be over in about an hour.".

GL OP!!!

Winner! Winner! Chicken dinner!

To quote SaraJayne and Mermaid02: WHO DOES THAT?!?!?!

 

[a1tinkfans]

I'd feign plausible confusion.....

"Friend, you must have returned to me your daughter's identical dress by accident. This one has been worn and isn't the new dress I dropped off. Could we please switch out the dresses asap? I'll be over in about an hour.".

GL OP!!!

Id love to see her face...

but if it were me....
Id write it off as a "this is what the real world is all about sometimes..."people that can act like a friend and lie to you" and let your daughter know what she will be dealing with with her friends mother. Personally, I would not be encouraging the friendship either, certainly not going out of me way to foster it...your daughters girlfriend Knew the dress was used by her sister...she was either mortified and felt stuck in the situation....or she could care less and had no regards for your daughter
the whole situation is GROSS...

Have a great time at the wedding...Id be wearing a different dress too....

 

[abdmom]

I would probably do nothing. I wouldn't want to upset my daughter friendship with this girl

I have a dd14. I would DEFINITELY want to upset my dd's friendship with the girl. DD would not be allowed to go to the girl's house anymore.

I love the plausible confusion idea.

 

[Ciao Mickey]

I'd feign plausible confusion.....

"Friend, you must have returned to me your daughter's identical dress by accident. This one has been worn and isn't the new dress I dropped off. Could we please switch out the dresses asap? I'll be over in about an hour.".

GL OP!!!

This is what I would say if I want to teach my daughter how to be a doormat for the rest of her life and avoid conflict at all costs.

Also, if you tell the mother you'll be over in an hour she will most likely not be there or answer the phone.

 

[jen1977]

I'd feign plausible confusion.....

"Friend, you must have returned to me your daughter's identical dress by accident. This one has been worn and isn't the new dress I dropped off. Could we please switch out the dresses asap? I'll be over in about an hour.".

GL OP!!!

Love this!

 

[Jeafl]

OP here. My daughter just turned 17 (today's her birthday!) her friend is still 16, but the sister who wore the dress is either 19 or 20. Definitely old enough to know better.

 

[kidzmom3]

have you decided what you are going to do? I would already be on the phone with the mother.

 

[crashbb]

OP here. My daughter just turned 17 (today's her birthday!) her friend is still 16, but the sister who wore the dress is either 19 or 20. Definitely old enough to know better.

While there is no way to excuse the mother, it is possible that the sister didn't know. It is possible that the mother told her that she had gotten her a new dress (conventionally forgetting to mention *how* she got it).

 

[Ciao Mickey]

Long story short--we are attending a fairly formal wedding this weekend. About 6 weeks ago I bought my daughter a dress online that she liked, and because it was different than anything we found in any mall. The dress came and we both loved how unique it was.

The next night she brought it over to her friend's house to show her friend. The friend's mother insisted that she try it on for them. She did, and the mom said she thought the shoulders needed to be taken up and offered to do it. My daughter said ok, and I had no problem with it because I know this woman sews a lot.

Fast forward 5 weeks and we still had no dress. So last week my daughter was on Facebook and saw pictures of the friend's sister wearing what looks to be my daughter's dress. My daughter asked her friend if that was her dress and the friend said she didn't know. So the friend asked her mother and the mother said no, and that the sister had the same dress. I was skeptical, but didn't say anything. The friend told my daughter she was pretty sure her sister did not own that dress.

So last Friday I told my daughter to go over and ask for the dress, and if it wasn't fixed not to worry about it. When she got there the mom told my daughter that the dress was at the cleaners because she got it dirty when she was fixing it. So Saturday I went over there and asked for the dry cleaning ticket and told her I would be happy to pick it up. The mom told me she had already picked it up, but she had left it in her husband's car. She promised she would bring it over Saturday night, which of course never happened.

Well, today my daughter brought the dress home from school rolled up in a Kohl's bag. The shoulders are exactly the same and not fixed, plus several areas of beading are messed up on the back of the dress. It has obviously not been cleaned because it was not in a dry cleaning bag, and it smells faintly of perfume. I am now positive that the sister wore it and I am beyond mad. Especially about all the lies the mom told me. My daughter is upset because she now has to wear a dress that is messed up in the back, and I'm not sure we have time to get it cleaned and fixed since the wedding is Friday night.

I want to call the mom, but I don't know how much I should say. I think I am too mad right now and want to wait until I calm down before I make the call, especially since my daughter and her daughter are good friends and want to remain so. Also, although I am certain the sister wore the dress, I have no real proof.

How would you handle this?

I would immediately go over the house with the dress and photo and tell her to take a whiff...

Then I would ask her how she wants to handle it--that she can either pay by cash or check in order to replace the dress.

If she refuses, then I would tell her I'll she her in small claims court.

This mother sounds like a looney tunes and I would not want my daughter around people who would lie and steal.

 

[lovin'fl]

While there is no way to excuse the mother, it is possible that the sister didn't know. It is possible that the mother told her that she had gotten her a new dress (conventionally forgetting to mention *how* she got it).

It's also possible that the sister took and wore the dress without permission and the mom had thought she misplaced it...if her house is messy/disorganized (have you seen that Horders show...it's possible to lose a dress in some folks houses). Maybe the mom realized her older DD took it (once the pics surfaced of her older DD in the dress) and then she was trying to figure out how to get it back to OP, hence all the stalling. Maybe the sister had it in her car or in her dorm (if she goes to college) and the mom figured it out and told her to get it back to her so she could have it cleaned. In that case the mom should have had her older DD fess up to OP (and pay up), so anyway you slice it the mom is a shady character.

 

[crashbb]

It's also possible that the sister took and wore the dress without permission and the mom had thought she misplaced it...if her house is messy/disorganized (have you seen that Horders show...it's possible to lose a dress in some folks houses). Maybe the mom realized her older DD took it (once the pics surfaced of her older DD in the dress) and then she was trying to figure out how to get it back to OP, hence all the stalling. Maybe the sister had it in her car or in her dorm (if she goes to college) and the mom figured it out and told her to get it back to her so she could have it cleaned. In that case the mom should have had her older DD fess up and pay up, so the mom is a shady character.

I hadn't thought of that scenario. But, as you say, there is no scenario in which the mother comes out looking okay. There is some (albeit slight) chance that the sister comes out looking okay.

 

[luvmy3]

I'd call up the mom and say "I think there must have been a mix up with our daughter's dresses because the one my dd has wasn't altered and has some pulls in the back and smells like perfume. Luckily I saw your dd's pic of her in the same dress and realized they must have gotten mixed up. Its really weird how they are the same size too! I'll be over tomorrow to switch them, I'm sure your dd wants hers back anyway"

I know its a bit passive aggressive, but I'd love to hear her response

 

[okw2012]

The most important thing is to make sure that your daughter knows exactly how you feel about this, and that such behaviour from her friend's mom is not acceptable. I would avoid playing dumb. Just more lies. Confront her or ignore her depending on what makes you feel better. She is not likely to change her behaviour and story either way.