Weird situation--what would you do?

[Jeafl]

Long story short--we are attending a fairly formal wedding this weekend. About 6 weeks ago I bought my daughter a dress online that she liked, and because it was different than anything we found in any mall. The dress came and we both loved how unique it was.

The next night she brought it over to her friend's house to show her friend. The friend's mother insisted that she try it on for them. She did, and the mom said she thought the shoulders needed to be taken up and offered to do it. My daughter said ok, and I had no problem with it because I know this woman sews a lot.

Fast forward 5 weeks and we still had no dress. So last week my daughter was on Facebook and saw pictures of the friend's sister wearing what looks to be my daughter's dress. My daughter asked her friend if that was her dress and the friend said she didn't know. So the friend asked her mother and the mother said no, and that the sister had the same dress. I was skeptical, but didn't say anything. The friend told my daughter she was pretty sure her sister did not own that dress.

So last Friday I told my daughter to go over and ask for the dress, and if it wasn't fixed not to worry about it. When she got there the mom told my daughter that the dress was at the cleaners because she got it dirty when she was fixing it. So Saturday I went over there and asked for the dry cleaning ticket and told her I would be happy to pick it up. The mom told me she had already picked it up, but she had left it in her husband's car. She promised she would bring it over Saturday night, which of course never happened.

Well, today my daughter brought the dress home from school rolled up in a Kohl's bag. The shoulders are exactly the same and not fixed, plus several areas of beading are messed up on the back of the dress. It has obviously not been cleaned because it was not in a dry cleaning bag, and it smells faintly of perfume. I am now positive that the sister wore it and I am beyond mad. Especially about all the lies the mom told me. My daughter is upset because she now has to wear a dress that is messed up in the back, and I'm not sure we have time to get it cleaned and fixed since the wedding is Friday night.

I want to call the mom, but I don't know how much I should say. I think I am too mad right now and want to wait until I calm down before I make the call, especially since my daughter and her daughter are good friends and want to remain so. Also, although I am certain the sister wore the dress, I have no real proof.

How would you handle this?

 

[shoney]

OMG..that is weird!!! I don't know what I would do.

I guess if your daughter is to remain friends with the family, then it might be best not say anything...but you will always know the type of person the mom is. She obviously will never admit to it since she lied so much already!

Unfortunately, no matter what you say or do, it will not fix the dress in time.

I hope you guys enjoy the wedding anyway. Since the damage is in the back, the pics will come out perfect

Good Luck!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Long story short--we are attending a fairly formal wedding this weekend. About 6 weeks ago I bought my daughter a dress online that she liked, and because it was different than anything we found in any mall. The dress came and we both loved how unique it was.

The next night she brought it over to her friend's house to show her friend. The friend's mother insisted that she try it on for them. She did, and the mom said she thought the shoulders needed to be taken up and offered to do it. My daughter said ok, and I had no problem with it because I know this woman sews a lot.

Fast forward 5 weeks and we still had no dress. So last week my daughter was on Facebook and saw pictures of the friend's sister wearing what looks to be my daughter's dress. My daughter asked her friend if that was her dress and the friend said she didn't know. So the friend asked her mother and the mother said no, and that the sister had the same dress. I was skeptical, but didn't say anything. The friend told my daughter she was pretty sure her sister did not own that dress.

So last Friday I told my daughter to go over and ask for the dress, and if it wasn't fixed not to worry about it. When she got there the mom told my daughter that the dress was at the cleaners because she got it dirty when she was fixing it. So Saturday I went over there and asked for the dry cleaning ticket and told her I would be happy to pick it up. The mom told me she had already picked it up, but she had left it in her husband's car. She promised she would bring it over Saturday night, which of course never happened.

Well, today my daughter brought the dress home from school rolled up in a Kohl's bag. The shoulders are exactly the same and not fixed, plus several areas of beading are messed up on the back of the dress. It has obviously not been cleaned because it was not in a dry cleaning bag, and it smells faintly of perfume. I am now positive that the sister wore it and I am beyond mad. Especially about all the lies the mom told me. My daughter is upset because she now has to wear a dress that is messed up in the back, and I'm not sure we have time to get it cleaned and fixed since the wedding is Friday night.

I want to call the mom, but I don't know how much I should say. I think I am too mad right now and want to wait until I calm down before I make the call, especially since my daughter and her daughter are good friends and want to remain so. Also, although I am certain the sister wore the dress, I have no real proof.

How would you handle this?

I would ask my dd how she wants to handle it because anything I would do would start WW3.

Sometimes it is better to stay out of the "friend drama" as a parent. Yes it is was totally a scumbag thing for the friend's parent to do, but I guess that your dd did not know that this parent was a scumbag. Now she knows.

So, bottom line I would put the issue at my dd's feet since it is her friend, her dress and her decision to allow the dress to be at her friend's that long.

I would try and get the dress cleaned and repaired OR buy a new one and chalk it up to lesson learned.

 

[Stitchfans]

This is a tough one. I would make sure I was calmed down before I approached the mother. All those lies and such was so unnecessary and I would start with that. The mother and sister should be held accountable for what they have done. The mother for lying and the sister for ruining and wearing the dress without permission.

Only problem though is my guess is the friendship most likely will be a bit strained after wards.

 

[sookie]

Oh my goodness!!!!!
This would make me really, really upset OP!
I don't know how in the world you are holding your tongue.
I would take it someplace to get it cleaned and fixed ASAP. Especially if it obviously has not been fixed.
What a mess... I would know now not to trust anything in that household (things going over there, for instance) in the future and I would tell my girls so.
When I was a teen, I was really close with my best friend and her sister - we shared a lot between us (my friend and her sister were two years a part - they had a house fire, and her mom was like another mom to me). If that ever happened, I would be really upset - because already shared a lot and we were close.
Good luck to you and I really hope that you get the dress situation figured out and that the dress comes out good as new.
I want to see a picture of the dress now - it has to be really pretty if something like this happened...

I would take it someplace to get it fixed and bring back the bill - and see what happens

 

[kirstenb1]

the frosting on the cake is throwing the dress in a bag after allegedly altering it. The mom isn't even trying to conceal what really happened. Someone on here said when people show you who they are, believe them. I doubt I'd confront her, but I sure would not be doing anything to help the friendship.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Something is seriously wrong with the friend's mother. Normal people do not do things like that. I would be furious, but also wonder what is going on with her. I'd wonder if she is mentally or physically ok or if she's an addict. Weird. I would allow the friend to come to your house, but I wouldn't want my child over there.

 

[SaraJayne]

WTH? Who in their right mind would ever think doing that was ok?

I would be furious, too and would probably have a problem forming a coherent sentence.

 

[Mermaid02]

Maybe I'm in the minority, but I'd go see the Mom. As others have said, WHO does this??? I'd make her look me in the eye and tell her story- then I'd tell her I looked in the mirror before I came over and it didn't say "Stupid" on my forehead. How old is your daughter? Not sure I'd want my child hanging out at their house... what else does the woman lie about?

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

Maybe I'm in the minority, but I'd go see the Mom. As others have said, WHO does this??? I'd make her look me in the eye and tell her story- then I'd tell her I looked in the mirror before I came over and it didn't say "Stupid" on my forehead. How old is your daughter? Not sure I'd want my child hanging out at their house... what else does the woman lie about?

I would also bring the picture of her daughter wearing your dress and the original bill so that she can immediately repay you so you can get your daughter another dress.

 

[goofyintoronto]

Maybe I'm in the minority, but I'd go see the Mom. As others have said, WHO does this??? I'd make her look me in the eye and tell her story- then I'd tell her I looked in the mirror before I came over and it didn't say "Stupid" on my forehead. How old is your daughter? Not sure I'd want my child hanging out at their house... what else does the woman lie about?

I totally agree! I wouldnt hold my tongue. who does this? Id confront the mom FACE TO FACE. not on the phone. show her the damage and get her to smell it. that's so rude! I wouldnt let her get away with this. she didn't pay for the dress.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S2 using DISBoards App

 

[goofyintoronto]

I would also bring the picture of her daughter wearing your dress and the original bill so that she can immediately repay you so you can get your daughter another dress.

I agree. she wants to take something that isn't hers, so to speak, then she should also pitch in to help pay for the dress. what she did was beyond rude! it didn't belong to her. Someone should call her out on it so she doesnt do it again. its ridiculous.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S2 using DISBoards App

 

[jessica52877]

As much as I would want to say something I agree, ask your daughter, this friendship could mean a lot to her and some things are better left untouched. I would be livid though! Just ASK! and then don't like about it. Did the sister wear it somewhere nice or just out?
Not that it matters, just wondered.

 

[Glennie5]

Wow , I dont know what I would do in your situation. You have every right to confront the mother but she doesn't sound very ethical, chances are you will never get the truth from her.

 

[dis-happy]

I'd feign plausible confusion.....

"Friend, you must have returned to me your daughter's identical dress by accident. This one has been worn and isn't the new dress I dropped off. Could we please switch out the dresses asap? I'll be over in about an hour.".

GL OP!!!

 

[Glennie5]

I'd feign plausible confusion.....

"Friend, you must have returned to me your daughter's identical dress by accident. This one has been worn and isn't the new dress I dropped off. Could we please switch out the dresses asap? I'll be over in about an hour.".

GL OP!!!

This is perfect, great idea!

 

[okeydokey]

I'd feign plausible confusion.....

"Friend, you must have returned to me your daughter's identical dress by accident. This one has been worn and isn't the new dress I dropped off. Could we please switch out the dresses asap? I'll be over in about an hour.".

GL OP!!!

Priceless. Tell her you saw the facebook pics of her daughter wearing this dress and you can certainly understand the confusion. You would like to pick up the new dress please.

 

[spacemountainmom]

I'd feign plausible confusion.....

"Friend, you must have returned to me your daughter's identical dress by accident. This one has been worn and isn't the new dress I dropped off. Could we please switch out the dresses asap? I'll be over in about an hour.".

GL OP!!!

Love this idea!

 

[lovin'fl]

This is what I would do and I honestly don't know if it's the correct thing...this is such a crazy thing to have happen. But, what I would do, and I assume OP's DD is a teen...my DDs are 13...so I would tell my DD that this is a lesson learned that her friend's mom is a bit wacky/shady and that she [my DD] should not take anything she values to this friend's house ever again unless she does not mind having it ruined/damaged and that any such damaged items would be replaced/repaired at the cost of her [my DD] or she could chalk it up to a loss. Basically I will pay for something once and if DD takes it somewhere and it gets ruined/damaged then it's up to DD on how it gets repaired/replaced if she needs/wants it repaired/replaced. DD can spend her own money or go to bat against friend's mom/sister to get the cost. It would really tick me off. It was rotten what happened to OP's DD's dress and that mom is a wackado. It really sucks that OP's DD needs that dress for Friday. I wonder what OP's DD has said to her friend about it.

 

[diznygirl]

I would also bring the picture of her daughter wearing your dress and the original bill so that she can immediately repay you so you can get your daughter another dress.

I like this. I would definitely confront the mother with either a bill for dry cleaning or for the dress.

This is what I would do and I honestly don't know if it's the correct thing...this is such a crazy thing to have happen. But, what I would do, and I assume OP's DD is a teen...my DDs are 13...so I would tell my DD that this is a lesson learned that her friend's mom is a bit wacky/shady and that she [my DD] should not take anything she values to this friend's house ever again unless she does not mind having it ruined/damaged and that any such damaged items would be replaced/repaired at the cost of DD or she could chalk it up to a loss. Basically I will pay for something once and if DD takes it somewhere and it gets ruined/damaged then it's up to DD on how it gets repaired/replaced if she needs/wants it repaired/replaced. DD can spend her own money or go to bat against friend's mom/sister to get the cost.

And a lesson for the OP's daughter. Good advice.