WAY OT!!! My son lost his eye lashes???update child abuse!!!!!

[vhoffman]

I agree!

No, I'm not "paranoid" When they came to our home, they demanded to know where dh was. He was on a job interview then, in town. I said he was unavailable, and refused to give them his cell number. Come on, a job interview's stressful enough, he didn't need to be interruped in the middle with a call from CPS! They really pressed that issue, but I just said dh would contact them. Hadn't they upset our lives enough,going to the school and asking dd to "point to her privates"?

 

[mytwotinks]

No, I'm not "paranoid" When they came to our home, they demanded to know where dh was. He was on a job interview then, in town. I said he was unavailable, and refused to give them his cell number. Come on, a job interview's stressful enough, he didn't need to be interruped in the middle with a call from CPS! They really pressed that issue, but I just said dh would contact them. Hadn't they upset our lives enough,going to the school and asking dd to "point to her privates"?

I guess I don't get why you are blaming CPS. Don't you want there to be protection for children who are being abused???? If you have made and enemy in one of your neighbors and they turned you in, the anger would be more appropriatley aimed at them.

I doubt that a parent who is truly abusing their children just openly discusses it with them when they show up at their door. Are you seriously thinking that the fact that you have SAID that you are not abusing your child should be enough proof for them?

I think that if you continue to refuse to let them talk to your husband that they are probably justified in being suspicious. Sorry, but I have nothing to hide so if I am ever in the same position I will hide nothing.

 

[lillygator]

Have any of the things you've posted happened to you? Have you been accused of "self diagnosing" or of "keeping your child home from school to hide abuse" or of "witholding medical care to hide abuse?"

I am really just wondering. If you haven't actually had anything happen outside of them coming to your home it seems as if you are jumping to a lot of conclusions about what they are going to acuse you of.

I guess that I am just not understanding why you can't tell them that your dh is on a job interview. That sounds kind of paranoid. If you act like you have something to hide, they are probably going to look pretty close at your home situation.

I agree as well.
CPS knows that children get bruises and bumps - my 4 year old - her legs are constantly full of scrapes...she wants to jump off the monkey bars, try to do backhandsprings, etc. If everything is on the up and up, CPS or any other authority has no reason to change the story for you. And I am sure they would definitely understand DH having an interview.

OP, I hope this gets resolved soon!!

 

[Arvandor_Ilfirin]

I guess I don't get why you are blaming CPS. Don't you want there to be protection for children who are being abused???? If you have made and enemy in one of your neighbors and they turned you in, the anger would be more appropriatley aimed at them.

I doubt that a parent who is truly abusing their children just openly discusses it with them when they show up at their door. Are you seriously thinking that the fact that you have SAID that you are not abusing your child should be enough proof for them?

I think that if you continue to refuse to let them talk to your husband that they are probably justified in being suspicious. Sorry, but I have nothing to hide so if I am ever in the same position I will hide nothing.

I don't believe she's saying that she wants children to have no protection. What she is saying is that it is stressful for everyone who is under observation, especially if the custody of your children was in the balance. You say you have nothing to hide, and that is a good thing! But when every thing your family does comes under scrutinizing eyes, you'd be surprised what they could come up with. Yes, they are just out to do good, but their view is most likely not innocent until proven guilty...They are searching to find what you have done to your children. I don't think anyone would feel just fine when the next bruise or injury your child may get from just playing could amount up to you losing them. This is hard enough as it is, I'm sure, without hearing all of our input...

 

[vhoffman]

I guess I don't get why you are blaming CPS. Don't you want there to be protection for children who are being abused???? If you have made and enemy in one of your neighbors and they turned you in, the anger would be more appropriatley aimed at them.

I doubt that a parent who is truly abusing their children just openly discusses it with them when they show up at their door. Are you seriously thinking that the fact that you have SAID that you are not abusing your child should be enough proof for them?

I think that if you continue to refuse to let them talk to your husband that they are probably justified in being suspicious. Sorry, but I have nothing to hide so if I am ever in the same position I will hide nothing.

We haven't hidden anything. I just refused to let them interrupt a job interview. Oh, I guess that would look just fine, getting a call from CPS in the middle of a job interview, especially one that requires a background check? BTW, we've tried to meet with them several times, they never contact us. We had a meeting scheduled at our lawyer's office, we showed up, they didn't. so....we're hiding now?

 

[micki7337]

Without going into great detail this just happened to our family. The fact that you have nothing to hide is so not the issue. It's the fact that you are guilty until you can prove you're innocent and your parenting is called into question. It cuts to the center of your being and I would not wish this type of scrutiny on anyone! You start to 2nd quess every action and every word - only to realize you did nothing wrong!

My prayers go out to the OP and others that have had to deal with false allegations.

 

[vhoffman]

For the OP--you might want to ask for a copy of the records from the ophthalmogist--would be interesting to see what he documented. Also, you do need a second opinion to back you up--good luck and please post back soon with an update.

 

[mrsmiller]

Thank you all for your kind words and all the advise, it really helps not to feel alone!!!

I spent the day running getting papers and taking my son to NY Eyes and Ears hospital, I did not mention the doctor when we took my son to the hospital but things are getting a little more complicated, the doctors told us that they cannot understand what is going on, for starters there is no trauma, or any signs that my son is pulling at the eye lashes they looked at his eyes with special instruments and ordered some test because they are baffle at what is going on , they did rule out cancer or any disease, I have to take him back friday, as per the eye doctor that we took him first he did make the phone call to CPS I called him today and he implied that it might be my husband; I am not going to worry because my concience is clear I know we have not done anything wrong, we did call an attorney just in case and chances are that we will have to cancel our trip to Disney this year, i am trying to calm down because this is affecting our boys and I do not want them to worry any more. But like I said before I believe in God and I know the truth will come out,
Thank you all again

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I'm sorry vHoffman but your stories just aren't making sense. Are you talking about the first time you claimed CPS first showed up at your door?

At the time you posted that thread you said your DH was home You said that he originally answered the door and came to get you.... so he certainly wasn't at a job interview and there was certainly no need for the Social Workers to grill you on his whereabouts. He would have been standing right in front of them, that is up to the point where he left the porch to phone the lawyer you keep on retainer.

Are you talking about at the lawyer's office? But you just said that the Social Workers didn't show up for that meeting. It would be awfully hard for them to twist your words around if they weren't there to hear your words.

Of course you could be talking about a subsequent interview, except then you claimed that they have never gotten back to you and that your lawyer has advised you not to contact them, which certainly points to a conclusion that there have not been any subsequent intervies.

Ah well, I'm sure you have all this straight somewhere in your head.

To the OP - try not to stress too much. I'm sure it will all work out fine.

 

[vhoffman]

I'm sorry vHoffman but your stories just aren't making sense. Are you talking about the first time you claimed CPS first showed up at your door?

At the time you posted that thread you said your DH was home You said that he originally answered the door and came to get you.... so he certainly wasn't at a job interview and there was certainly no need for the Social Workers to grill you on his whereabouts. He would have been standing right in front of them, that is up to the point where he left the porch to phone the lawyer you keep on retainer.

Are you talking about at the lawyer's office? But you just said that the Social Workers didn't show up for that meeting. It would be awfully hard for them to twist your words around if they weren't there to hear your words.

Of course you could be talking about a subsequent interview, except then you claimed that they have never gotten back to you and that your lawyer has advised you not to contact them, which certainly points to a conclusion that there have not been any subsequent intervies.

Ah well, I'm sure you have all this straight somewhere in your head.

To the OP - try not to stress too much. I'm sure it will all work out fine.

You know, this thread isn't about me, so stop trying to figure me out. Obviously I'm not giving you all the details of our life. Let's get back to the OP and her topic

 

[Toby'sFriend]

sure

 

[mytwotinks]

Thank you all for your kind words and all the advise, it really helps not to feel alone!!!

I spent the day running getting papers and taking my son to NY Eyes and Ears hospital, I did not mention the doctor when we took my son to the hospital but things are getting a little more complicated, the doctors told us that they cannot understand what is going on, for starters there is no trauma, or any signs that my son is pulling at the eye lashes they looked at his eyes with special instruments and ordered some test because they are baffle at what is going on , they did rule out cancer or any disease, I have to take him back friday, as per the eye doctor that we took him first he did make the phone call to CPS I called him today and he implied that it might be my husband; I am not going to worry because my concience is clear I know we have not done anything wrong, we did call an attorney just in case and chances are that we will have to cancel our trip to Disney this year, i am trying to calm down because this is affecting our boys and I do not want them to worry any more. But like I said before I believe in God and I know the truth will come out,
Thank you all again

Sounds as if you just need to concentrate on finding out what is wrong with your son right now. That will solve both of your problems. I really hope that you don't have to cancel your trip.

 

[kate0305]

I have 'lurked' on this board for quite awhile, enjoying all the helpful tips, rolling my eyes at some of the soap boxing going on, and just being plain thrilled that there are other people as nuts about Disney as myself. . .

With that being said, this is my first post ever, and I am sorry that it has to be this one.

As a social worker for over 15 years, there are far too many people who get bent out of shape about people asking questions to ensure that kids are safe. As a mother of an extremely rambunctious boy, who also had to go to the ER for falling on a treadmill and getting 2nd and 3rd degree burns all over his hands and face, CPS is not the enemy if you present yourself as a concerned parent, and don't get mega defensive when they ask you how injuries happen. Doctors care about the kids they see (otherwise they would not pay the high malpractice insurance, since everyone and their freakin ambulance chasing lawyers want to take them on) and most states have mandatory reporting.

Do you all know what mandatory reporting means? It means that EVERY citizen is LEGALLY obligated to report SUSPECTED abuse and neglect. It is then up to the hotlines to 'weed out' what is worth investigating and what is not. You know what gets you investigated- FREAKING OUT!!!

My first CPS call as a social worker SUCKED. It was a mom I was working intensively with, and she was doing the best she could with a really problematic situation. But when her kid tells me he was hit with a hockey stick, guess what, I called. I also told mom that I was calling, and worked with the investigator to make sure they understood that mom was a good mom, not an evil abuser. Mom was pissed at me, but eventually we worked it out and we closed the case with positive results. She still sends me updates on the family. I would call her a success.

Flying off people are what got a CPS aide here in my state beaten to death, because she was doing supervised visits to try to REUNIFY the family. And she was killed for her love of kids, and her desire to do the best she could for the kids who are not spoken for.

So my first post was a soap box, sorry. Let's remember to support this poor family, encourage them to keep a cool head and work with the system, not fight it or become overly paranoid about it.

I hope for the best in this situation, and will be sending peaceful vibes and hopes that this all works out in the best way possible.

And I don't even know what PMs are, so don't bother.

 

[mytwotinks]

Great first post Kate0305!

I am sure that the social workers understand how upsetting it is to be suspected of hurting your own child. I am just assuming that anyone who acts overly defensive and angry is going to get the full treatment! If you treat them as if they are the enemy what choice are you really giving them but to "fight" you for any information they need from you?

 

[la79al]

OP- so if the doctors today said there is no sign of the lashes being pulled at, I wonder what the doctor thinks you are doing to your son to abuse him?

 

[mjantz]

As a Mandated Reporter, I would be very upset if I could be sued for reporting what I believed to be a case of child abuse. I take my responsibility very seriously & I'm educated enough to not call just because little Billy has a few bruises on his legs or Suzie has a bad diaper rash. If I were to call, it would be because I seriously believed that a child was being neglected a/o abused.
What some may not know about being a Mandated Reporter is that I can be charged with a crime for *not* reporting what I know. A few years ago in this area teacher & school principal were charged & IIRC, sent to jail for not reporting a known case of child abuse.
A few people may be overzealous in reporting but my experience has been that those who are Mandated Reporters take their jobs very seriously & are not quick to label everyone as a child abuser.

 

[zdesiree]

Check this out:

Doctors refer to the loss of eyelashes as madarosis. While it may seem like mainly a cosmetic problem, the condition can be an indicator of something more serious, such as eye trauma, eyelid infections and even cancer of the eyelid. In addition, metabolic conditions such as hypothyroidism and pituitary insufficiency can cause madarosis. So, before considering a treatment, you should see an eyelid specialist (called an oculoplastic surgeon) and have him carefully examine your eyelid to determine the cause of the madarosis.
There is no surgical procedure to implant eyelashes. However, there have been recent reports that Xalatan, a medication used to treat glaucoma, can spur the regrowth of missing eyelashes, as well thicken and elongate existing eyelashes. Another interesting side effect of Xalatan is that it can cause the iris to darken in patients with light-colored eyes. So, if an underlying cause of your eyelash loss cannot be found, you may want to talk to your eye doctor about whether Xalatan might possibly be useful in your case.

I found this in: http://health.ivillage.com/eye/0,,6gvs,00.html

Good luck and my prayers to you.

 

[mrsmiller]

Thanks kate0305 for your post.

Thank God that we have CPS to look out for children that are negleted and abuse, I am not against CPS and like you said they are only doing their job, I am not freaking out that they were called what really bother me was the doctor's attitude and the way that he conducted himself, he was arrogant and sarcastic to the point that he was making my son very nervous he kept us in the office for over an hour asking the same things over and over again because we were in shock we really did not said anything, I called him today and he implied that maybe it was my husband hurting my son and that I was protecting him I tried to tell him that we took him to his ped. doctor and to the ER but he did not want to hear anything that I was trying to explain.
I am going to let CPS do their job, but today I went and got all the papers from the time that I went to the doctor with the first complain to the er visit.
I am more worried about what is going on with my son, I hope is nothing serious, because we are going out of network we have to pay the doctors out of pocket and is really hurting our budget, but my boy comes first..
Thank you again for all your kind words and your prayers
Linnette

 

[zdesiree]

Check this out:

Doctors refer to the loss of eyelashes as madarosis. While it may seem like mainly a cosmetic problem, the condition can be an indicator of something more serious, such as eye trauma, eyelid infections and even cancer of the eyelid. In addition, metabolic conditions such as hypothyroidism and pituitary insufficiency can cause madarosis. So, before considering a treatment, you should see an eyelid specialist (called an oculoplastic surgeon) and have him carefully examine your eyelid to determine the cause of the madarosis.
There is no surgical procedure to implant eyelashes. However, there have been recent reports that Xalatan, a medication used to treat glaucoma, can spur the regrowth of missing eyelashes, as well thicken and elongate existing eyelashes. Another interesting side effect of Xalatan is that it can cause the iris to darken in patients with light-colored eyes. So, if an underlying cause of your eyelash loss cannot be found, you may want to talk to your eye doctor about whether Xalatan might possibly be useful in your case.
I found this in: http://health.ivillage.com/eye/0,,6gvs,00.html

Good luck and my prayers to you.

 

[Goofyluver]

kate0305...wonderful post. I'm just sad I didn't have the guts to say what you said in your beautiful post.

To the OP, I truly pray that you find you answers and get your son taken care of. Your family is in my prayers, and I'm positive that as you are a concerned parent, your family and son will be fine.

VHoffman, goodness...maybe we should not throw accusations without basis.