WAY OT!!! My son lost his eye lashes???update child abuse!!!!!

[meandtheguys2]

Get a lawyer immediately. Do not talk to social services, nor let your child do so without a lawyers input and without you being there. Go to a doctor, and get the diagnosis. I dealt with 5 or 6 kids with tric. I think that in the beginning (20 years ago) we had to educate our eye doctor too. But at least they didn't call CSB on us.

CSB may try to convince you that they have rights they do not have. Check NY law with your lawyer. They cannot force their way in without a court order, in OHio. I'm not sure in New York!

My opinion, of course.

 

[dizcrazy]

Please keep us posted and we will keep you in our prayers.


I would like to let you know that my mother works in early intervention, and she has told me that in the last few years, she has had many hysterical mothers calling her to say that her doctor questioned them about their child and told the mother (or father/guardian) that they were calling the authorities because "something doesn't look right".

My mother has been shocked every time and believes that the doctors are just being overly cautious or worried about lawsuits.

 

[java]

Oh my I just read all of this and am stunned. First off that an eye doctor wouldn't even know about trich makes me rather upset. Then to be accusing you well that is just unbelievable! Now I did laugh a little when I read the child abuse claim and then looked at your siggy picture- don't let the eye doctor see that! Putting your child into a croc's mouth! Seriously though I am so sorry that you are dealing with people's ignorance on top of the worry about your son. I hope you get answers soon.

 

[UMTerp]

That is so strange. I'm so glad my son's doctor knew what was causing his problem and gave us solutions! I hope everything works out for your son!

UMTerp

 

[2angelsinheaven]

You'll be in our thoughts.

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

Get a lawyer immediately. Do not talk to social services, nor let your child do so without a lawyers input and without you being there. Go to a doctor, and get the diagnosis. I dealt with 5 or 6 kids with tric. I think that in the beginning (20 years ago) we had to educate our eye doctor too. But at least they didn't call CSB on us.

CSB may try to convince you that they have rights they do not have. Check NY law with your lawyer. They cannot force their way in without a court order, in OHio. I'm not sure in New York!

My opinion, of course.

This is 100% correct. They will go to question your child at school if he goes to public school. It's public property, so that is their right. Train your child to say "I will not speak to you without my parents and my attorney present" no matter WHAT the investigator asks. He needs to be a broken record. There are also cards that you can print out that your child can just hand the investigator. I'll PM you with details. You need to head these people off at the pass.

Doctors are mandated reporters. They are told that they must report anything that seems suspicious to them. This doctor is an idiot, and his lack of knowledge is dangerous in this situation. Get a lawyer who specializes in dependency cases immediately. They will tell you that the 4th amendment protects your right to the sanctity of your home. CPS must get a court order to even enter your home. If they do get such an order, videotape the entire visit. Do not allow them to interview your children w/o your attorney present.

When you are done with CPS and you get your unfounded letter, go after the eye Dr. so they NEVER do this to another innocent parent. There should be a way to prosecute them for malicious false reporting.

Also, the best way to avoid this in the future is to have a knowledgable pediatrician that you trust, and to ONLY take your child to that ped. unless it's a critical emergency that requires a trip to the ER. Social Services has gotten WAY overzealous with "mandated reporting," to the point where Dr.'s and other "mandated reporters" are reporting things that are not abuse in any way, shape, or form.

 

[trulygoofy]

I feel so bad for you and your son. That is awful. I guess some doctors find it easier to blame the parents than doing a little research and figuring out the problem.
I would also call my pediatrician, especially if they referred you to the eye doctor.

 

[Dixie Luvr 98]

Linnette,

I absolutely will be praying for you. How in the world did he come to such a conclusion?!

I once had CPS called on me because DS and DD then 14 & 11 got in an argument in front of our house. I know as a parent how absolutely devastating it feels to be accused of such a thing!

Keep the faith and hang in there.

 

[momof296&02]

my son has blepharitis & chunks of his eyelashes have fallen out. Before they fell out he had some crust on them. My pediatrician missed this & the opthamologist diagnosed it.

 

[jdsmom97]

Albany only accepts a small percentage of reports as actulal abuse and then forwards them to your local dss. The report must fit certain criteria to be considered abuse. However, since a "licensed Professional" is making the call they may still accept the report. You won't usually even know they're coming or your being investigated until they are at your doorstep. I am a mandated reporter and I would not report this as abuse unless there were a lot of other extenuating factors AND/or an unsolicoted (SP?) disclosure from the chid. He didn't even use an open ended question with your son! His leading question needs to be written down and documented as he has already planted the seed that mommy and daddy did something and the child could repeat that if questioned in the future as he "searches" to answer a question right so they stop asking. DUH!

 

[KaitlinsMom]

Get a lawyer immediately. Do not talk to social services, nor let your child do so without a lawyers input and without you being there. Go to a doctor, and get the diagnosis. I dealt with 5 or 6 kids with tric. I think that in the beginning (20 years ago) we had to educate our eye doctor too. But at least they didn't call CSB on us.

CSB may try to convince you that they have rights they do not have. Check NY law with your lawyer. They cannot force their way in without a court order, in OHio. I'm not sure in New York!

My opinion, of course.

As others have stated, I did not see this coming as well!! WOW - I am so sorry you are going through this -

I couldn't agree with the above statement more! Talk to a lawyer and get all the documentation you need together. If the Doctor did call them, Social services will probably not call you for about a week. But if they are called, they HAVE to follow up on the report. It's the law - even if they know it is a false report, they still have to an "investigation".

Again, I can not state enough how truly sorry I am that you are going thru this -

Karen

 

[SplshMtn99]

I have a form of trich too. I don't pull out my hair, but I pick my skin when I'm nervous. I don't even realize I'm doing it until it is too late and I have a huge nasty sore on my arm. When I was in nursing school, it was horrible. One day I was taking a really hard test, and I picked a huge hole in my arm.

OMG, my husband does this. It annoys the heck out of me. He's been doing it for YEARS. His is on th back of his neck, but he had one on his arm too. The doctor doesn't do anything about it. Now, at least I have a name for it.

 

[KristiKelly]

I have just read this thread and WOW!!! I would definitely contact my ped. and another eye dr.

So, I guess anytime a dr. doesn't know what something is he should just say it's child abuse. CRAZY!!!!!!

I may have missed this but is your son pulling them out or are they falling out?

I have a tendency to pull at my eye lashes and pull out loose ones.

Aren't there diseases where people lose hair (not pull it out but it just falls out)? My ex-stepmother I believe had it because she had to wear a wig.

Anyway, keep us posted and I'm hoping for some better news today.

 

[SplshMtn99]

I've finished reading now. Unbelievable doctors. My best wishes to OP.

 

[jdsmom97]

fyi.. The mandated reporters hotline in Albany does not accept all reports as child abuse or as I said before they don't neccessarily take all reports as child abuse and forward them to your county DSS. If they did DSS could never keep up with all the bogus calls (like your case!). There is a set criteria reports must fit to be forwarded. If they do forward it THEN the local DSS MUST follow up as the previous poster said. All the advice here sounds great. I work with a population that can not afford to run to the lawyer so the go through the investigation and are often UNFOUNDED afte several weeks of STRESS!!! Hopefully it won't come to that.
Also, if they do not ofrward the concern to DSS you can still be "flagged" in case there are calls on you in the future.

 

[WDW1st-timers]

Wow...I'm totally shocked. Please to the OP find a lawyer and a good one. Go to other doctors and get reports from them. See what they have to say. It totally amazes me that you are trying to seek help for your child and if you did abuse your child, wouldn't you think that you would totally AVOID doctors? I just can't believe doctors sometimes. Much easier to send a child to Social services and let them deal with the problem than them to figure it out themselves. I'm hoping for the best to you and your cute kids.

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

I'm wondering if you can also sue the Dr. for malpractice when everything is said and done. He will probably be protected from prosecution as a "mandated reporter," but suing him for malpractice may get his attention and force him to NEVER do this to another innocent family. He didn't know how to diagnose your son, so he decided that it was abuse That has to be malpractice of some form. Even if it's not, it would be worth it to stress him out the way he is stressing you out so he thinks twice the next time he doesn't know how to diagnose something. Gee, maybe admitting "I don't know" and referring you to another Dr. would have been a better idea...

Also, there must be licensing/review boards that you could submit a formal complaint to. If it were me, I'd probably do all of the above and then go to the media too. He wouldn't be able to EVER do this to another family (not to mention the waste of taxpayer dollars he's guilty of here too).

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

good luck OP, this sounds crazy that the Dr. would think that!

 

[vhoffman]

Actually you're living in a dream world if you think you can sue the doctor for malicious reporting. all he has to do is say he made the report in good faith. The only time they would even consider it to be malacious reporting is, say, a divorce/custody battle where one parent had totally fabricated charges just to tip the scales in their favor. Even then its hard to prove and expensive. You'll soon find lawyers don't work for free.

I had a thread a few weeks ago about CPS showing up at my door with a charge of my ds being physically abused. I got some nasty flames on that thread and it was closed down. Basically the CPS were good guys out there to avenge children who had been done wrong, and I should welcome them with open arms if I hadn't "done anything wrong". Before they came to my door, they had even gone to school and interviewed dd, asking her all sorts of horrible questions, like "do mommy & daddy drink smoke, use drugs?" Do you know where your privates are? Point to them" What type of questions are that for a 9 year old girl?" The whole thing was a nightmare, still in progress. BTW, no one will talk with us. I attempted to discuss it with the school principal and she cold-shouldered me, refused to even give me the time of day, then said she couldn't discuss the case due to "confidentiality". Well, what about what they did with my daughter? She couldn't/wouldn't even acknowledge that she was aware that it happened--come on! She's the principal, she knows what's going on in her own school!

Basically, with CPS you have no rights. They can ask anything, and they can and do twist things around. Examples:

Response:I I had inflicted abuse on my child, I certainly wouldn't have taken him to two doctors.

Translation: Mother admits she wouldn't seek medical care in cases of abuse

Response:I wouldn't send my child to school if we had anything to hide

Translation: Mother admits she would keep child away from school due to abuse

'Well, you get the idea. Insofar as our own case, its still unresolved. We had an appointment to meet wirh CPS, they cancelled at the last minute citing "family emergency". Never called back. We're dealing through an attorney, his advice is to let them make the next move. The longer they take, the less validity any complaint has. But it puts us in limbo hell, while we have so much else on our plate--dh is laid off, job hunting, he actually cancelled a job interview for the CPS interview. Not to mention the attorney fees $2500 just as a retainer, at a time when we're trying to squeak by on savings and unemployment. Well, we just put it on a credit card. Don't mention any type of financial difficulities to CPS, either. They won't "feel sorry for you". It will get twisted around that you're under financial stress and not providing adequately for your child. Try proving otherwise--then you can have a stream of sw's trolling through your financial records, etc.

Never mention to those people the stress this is putting you through, either. Then you're a "family at risk" under stress, dysfunctional (although you were doing just fine until they were thrown at you!), the you all get to go to counseling! Of course, if you refuse, then you're not compliant. Oh, of course, you get to pay for said counseling!

BTW, did you pay for that doctor? Bet you did, and you have absolutely no recourse--he provided professional services.

Good luck to you, hang in there, get a lawyer and follow his advice, and start educating yourself about CPS, just google them, trust me, its not easy reading.

 

[vhoffman]

I'm wondering if you can also sue the Dr. for malpractice when everything is said and done. He will probably be protected from prosecution as a "mandated reporter," but suing him for malpractice may get his attention and force him to NEVER do this to another innocent family. He didn't know how to diagnose your son, so he decided that it was abuse That has to be malpractice of some form. Even if it's not, it would be worth it to stress him out the way he is stressing you out so he thinks twice the next time he doesn't know how to diagnose something. Gee, maybe admitting "I don't know" and referring you to another Dr. would have been a better idea...

Also, there must be licensing/review boards that you could submit a formal complaint to. If it were me, I'd probably do all of the above and then go to the media too. He wouldn't be able to EVER do this to another family (not to mention the waste of taxpayer dollars he's guilty of here too).

Insofar as malpractice, well, you can't sue for malpractice for reporting "in good faith". However, did this doctor do anything to treat it? Prescribe anything, refer you for tests, anything? Or just jump to report you? Because in that case I would think you'd have some sort of case. Especially if you have documentation that your child did have an eye condition (which you already have from the referring pediatrician). It would be helpful to get another opinion from another ophthalmologist--just don't say anything about the CPS charge.

Actually, thinking this through, perhaps there's some bad blood between the ophthalmolgist and your referring ped. Perhaps he's getting back at the ped for something. I would find another ophthalmologist and try not to even mention the ped, you don't know what type of pot he's stirring in your medical community. And, of course, don't mention the jerk who turned you over! That's if you even can--some insurances require a referral, so who to put down? You might even consider going without insurance coverage and paying for the second opinion yourself just to cut out the paper trail. Yes, it will cost you, but that's nothing compared to what legal fees can amount to.

If you have a diagnosis and treatment plan from another doctor you should have some sort of recourse against the first doctor for doing essentially nothing. But that doesn't help the spot you're in right now.

Actually, this jerk might not have even reported it, just something he said. He might have forgotten all about it after you left. Bet he won't forget to send you the bill!