WAY OT!!! My son lost his eye lashes???update child abuse!!!!!

[Grumpy's Gal]

Our DD when she was about5 pulled out all of her lashes. She did it when she was bored at school. At rest time. She's done it several times ober the years. When she is stressed, she will pull them out when she lays in bed at night. If she has a test coming up etc.

 

[WDW1st-timers]

Actually you're living in a dream world if you think you can sue the doctor for malicious reporting. all he has to do is say he made the report in good faith. The only time they would even consider it to be malacious reporting is, say, a divorce/custody battle where one parent had totally fabricated charges just to tip the scales in their favor. Even then its hard to prove and expensive. You'll soon find lawyers don't work for free.

I had a thread a few weeks ago about CPS showing up at my door with a charge of my ds being physically abused. I got some nasty flames on that thread and it was closed down. Basically the CPS were good guys out there to avenge children who had been done wrong, and I should welcome them with open arms if I hadn't "done anything wrong". Before they came to my door, they had even gone to school and interviewed dd, asking her all sorts of horrible questions, like "do mommy & daddy drink smoke, use drugs?" Do you know where your privates are? Point to them" What type of questions are that for a 9 year old girl?" The whole thing was a nightmare, still in progress. BTW, no one will talk with us. I attempted to discuss it with the school principal and she cold-shouldered me, refused to even give me the time of day, then said she couldn't discuss the case due to "confidentiality". Well, what about what they did with my daughter? She couldn't/wouldn't even acknowledge that she was aware that it happened--come on! She's the principal, she knows what's going on in her own school!

Basically, with CPS you have no rights. They can ask anything, and they can and do twist things around. Examples:

Response:I I had inflicted abuse on my child, I certainly wouldn't have taken him to two doctors.

Translation: Mother admits she wouldn't seek medical care in cases of abuse

Response:I wouldn't send my child to school if we had anything to hide

Translation: Mother admits she would keep child away from school due to abuse

'Well, you get the idea. Insofar as our own case, its still unresolved. We had an appointment to meet wirh CPS, they cancelled at the last minute citing "family emergency". Never called back. We're dealing through an attorney, his advice is to let them make the next move. The longer they take, the less validity any complaint has. But it puts us in limbo hell, while we have so much else on our plate--dh is laid off, job hunting, he actually cancelled a job interview for the CPS interview. Not to mention the attorney fees $2500 just as a retainer, at a time when we're trying to squeak by on savings and unemployment. Well, we just put it on a credit card. Don't mention any type of financial difficulities to CPS, either. They won't "feel sorry for you". It will get twisted around that you're under financial stress and not providing adequately for your child. Try proving otherwise--then you can have a stream of sw's trolling through your financial records, etc.

Never mention to those people the stress this is putting you through, either. Then you're a "family at risk" under stress, dysfunctional (although you were doing just fine until they were thrown at you!), the you all get to go to counseling! Of course, if you refuse, then you're not compliant. Oh, of course, you get to pay for said counseling!

BTW, did you pay for that doctor? Bet you did, and you have absolutely no recourse--he provided professional services.

Good luck to you, hang in there, get a lawyer and follow his advice, and start educating yourself about CPS, just google them, trust me, its not easy reading.

I remember reading your thread before. I can't believe that you are still going through this. I thought by now that everything would have been handed and dealt with. I'm sorry that you are going through this. Many prayers go out to you and along to the OP.

 

[vhoffman]

There's a lot of websites mentioned here about the possible cause of this condition, and while I think they provide useful insight, DON'T mention them to CPS if/when you talke with them. They will twist it around that the mother "prefers to self-diagnosis".

You really should take your child and any others in the family to your ped for a general health check-up ASAP. That way you have documentation that your children are healthy and well-cared for. I really don't think you're going to pull out a kids eyelashes, then care for him in an appropriate manner otherwise!

 

[Goofyluver]

To the OP, I hope things are going well and please give us an update! My prayers are with you and I would seek legal council.

To some previous posters, please don't turn this woman's situation into a bashing CPS thread. This is about a doctor who obviously made a very wrong and inappropriate decision. Not about CPS, who serves a very good purpose in most cases.

 

[vhoffman]

I remember reading your thread before. I can't believe that you are still going through this. I thought by now that everything would have been handed and dealt with. I'm sorry that you are going through this. Many prayers go out to you and along to the OP.

Not trying to hijack this thread, but we live in constant fear of the knock on the door. We just about jump out of our skin every time someone rings that bell!

What if either child sustains any type of injury that leaves some sort of mark? I wouldn't let them ride their bikes this weekend and held my breath while they played fearing a skinned knee, bump, bruise, anything. Our case is still open so anything could be appended to it at any time, all, of course, without my knowledge, to "protect the reporter". We're pretty sure who it was, but that doesn't help us now. I wouldn't even let dd attend a sleepover last weekend for fear something "funny" would happen. Yes, I know, we shouldn't live our lives in fear, but that's what its been made into. OUr attorney has a lot of experience dealinng with CPS, guess I just have to go with his advice, but I really want to call them to schedule another appointment and get it over with. His advice to lay low and let it die its own death is probably the best, but so stressful for us, especially now. Dh has an out-of-town job interview next week, what if they show up then? I really don't want to explain that he's laid off, or job hunting, that would really put us in a bad light. Also, I don't want to give them his whereabouts, that's all he needs, a call from CPS right during a job interview!

 

[Goofyluver]

Not trying to hijack this thread, but we live in constant fear of the knock on the door. We just about jump out of our skin every time someone rings that bell!

What if either child sustains any type of injury that leaves some sort of mark? I wouldn't let them ride their bikes this weekend and held my breath while they played fearing a skinned knee, bump, bruise, anything. Our case is still open so anything could be appended to it at any time, all, of course, without my knowledge, to "protect the reporter". We're pretty sure who it was, but that doesn't help us now. I wouldn't even let dd attend a sleepover last weekend for fear something "funny" would happen. Yes, I know, we shouldn't live our lives in fear, but that's what its been made into. OUr attorney has a lot of experience dealinng with CPS, guess I just have to go with his advice, but I really want to call them to schedule another appointment and get it over with. His advice to lay low and let it die its own death is probably the best, but so stressful for us, especially now. Dh has an out-of-town job interview next week, what if they show up then? I really don't want to explain that he's laid off, or job hunting, that would really put us in a bad light. Also, I don't want to give them his whereabouts, that's all he needs, a call from CPS right during a job interview!

I read your thread that was taken off the boards. I'm sorry for your situation and hope that things are going well for you, and that things will turn around soon!

 

[vhoffman]

You know, all this mandated reporting stuff has gotten so out of hand. Its turned into a witch hunt.

Kind of reminds me of several years ago, a new law was passed making cruelty to animals a felony. I remembered cheering at that news, its about time! Well, shortly after that, my uncle found a anbandonded, half-starved dog. It was piteful. We took the poor thing to the SPCA, uncle lived in a apartment and couldn't keep it. The first thing they did was jump both of us. "is that your dog? How could you let an animal get like that?" and on and on. They wanted us to fill out all sorts of forms. We just slipped out the back and left the dog. We werent' going to be accused of animal cruelty! We were going to leave a $50 donation to the shelter, but decided it was best to just clear out. They had the dog, they would do whatever was best for it, but we werent' going to be accused of harming it!


Makes you think twice about being a do-gooder. Also makes you think about taking you child in for medical treatment, but then its medical neglect! The best thing to do is have a trusted ped you have an ongoing relationship with ans stick with him, which isn't always easy.

 

[meandtheguys2]

To the OP, I hope things are going well and please give us an update! My prayers are with you and I would seek legal council.

To some previous posters, please don't turn this woman's situation into a bashing CPS thread. This is about a doctor who obviously made a very wrong and inappropriate decision. Not about CPS, who serves a very good purpose in most cases.

Been there, worked for them. Yes, they are a necessary entity. But they are also notorious for believing that they know more, care more, and that they are above the law. They are absolutely prone to believing the worst about a parent. I've seen families blown to pieces, for absolutely no cause. I've seen SWers ask incredibly leading questions. And make a diagnosis of sexual abuse by a parent from a drawing of a house. And I've seen a case-worker lose paperwork that caused an extra year of reunification BS for a child who had been strangled by the parent.

So, I will always tell parents to contact a lawyer, and cover their butts when the possibility of allegations comes up.

 

[Goofyluver]

Been there, worked for them. Yes, they are a necessary entity. But they are also notorious for believing that they know more, care more, and that they are above the law. They are absolutely prone to believing the worst about a parent. I've seen families blown to pieces, for absolutely no cause. I've seen SWers ask incredibly leading questions. And make a diagnosis of sexual abuse by a parent from a drawing of a house. And I've seen a case-worker lose paperwork that caused an extra year of reunification BS for a child who had been strangled by the parent.

So, I will always tell parents to contact a lawyer, and cover their butts when the possibility of allegations comes up.

I have never been a SW, but I have 2 close family members who are. I *try* to put myself in the situation of seeing the most awful, disgusting things that families deal with every day. I imagine it would skew my view a little bit. I'd be cinical too. I think the OP should abolutely get a lawyer. I just don't think CPS has done anything in this case, but it turned into a bash CPS thread. In this case, the doctor was at fault, not CPS.

 

[korbbec]

Good luck OP. This is one of those situations where society has brought it upon themselves. If people did not sue over every little thing this doctor would not have had to report you "just in case", which is the position he was left in. I think he went a little too far on this one, but I can see why he would do it- he doesn't know you. I'm sure nothing will come of it.

This same thing happened to my mom when I was little. I used to vomit daily for no reason and would often faint and fall down the stairs. Of course if I fell down the stairs she would bring me to get checked out. After 2-3 falls, the hospitol raised an eyebrow. While they were questioning mom, a local police officer she knew well happened by. He vouched for her and it was dropped, but that was back in the day. If he had not been there I may have been taken.

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

You know, all this mandated reporting stuff has gotten so out of hand. Its turned into a witch hunt.

Makes you think twice about being a do-gooder. Also makes you think about taking you child in for medical treatment, but then its medical neglect! The best thing to do is have a trusted ped you have an ongoing relationship with ans stick with him, which isn't always easy.

I totally agree with this. Our DD sees her pediatrician (and occasionally his partner), and that is it. Barring a major emergency that would require a trip to the ER, we wait until office hours to have her seen for anything. If she did have to go to the ER for an accidental injury, you can bet that I'd take along the card of the anti-CPS attorney that I would retain in case of being questioned by Social Services. I really feel for the parents who can't afford a good anti-CPS attorney, because they are the ones who get railroaded by this agency.

 

[Mono~rail]

I'm not a lawyer or a doctor, but I'm pretty sure that to have a malpractice lawsuit there needs to be long term life altering damage or death.

An example: Opthamologist sees a pt with an eye infection and fails to treat. The infection spreads from the eye to the brain and the pt dies. That scenario could be the basis of a malpractice lawsuit.

Or another example: Same as above except the outcome is the pt's untreated eye infection leads to permanent blindness. This could also be the basis of a malpractice lawsuit.

Lawyers work for money, and if a big payout probably isn't going to happen, they aren't going to take the case.

 

[vhoffman]

Don't bother with the nasty pm's, I don't read them!

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

Don't bother with the nasty pm's, I don't read them!

I hope that you do read my PM, because it wasn't nasty at all! I PM'd you a website that you might want to visit. There are a lot of people who can help you sort through your situation there, and they can help you figure out if your lawyer is on-the-ball or is dropping the ball.

 

[LoveBWVVBR]

I'm not a lawyer or a doctor, but I'm pretty sure that to have a malpractice lawsuit there needs to be long term life altering damage or death.

An example: Opthamologist sees a pt with an eye infection and fails to treat. The infection spreads from the eye to the brain and the pt dies. That scenario could be the basis of a malpractice lawsuit.

Or another example: Same as above except the outcome is the pt's untreated eye infection leads to permanent blindness. This could also be the basis of a malpractice lawsuit.

Lawyers work for money, and if a big payout probably isn't going to happen, they aren't going to take the case.

You are probably correct, but the the case isn't on contingency, you may find a lawyer to take it. Even if you aren't successful suing (and you likely wouldn't be), you would wake this Dr. up to see that what he did was wrong. Hopefully he wouldn't do it again to another family.

Perhaps a more effective (and free) way to deal with it would be through a licensing agency or professional board, but I wouldn't know where to go. I'm sure it's information that one can find online, though. This can't be the first ignorant Dr. to do this to an innocent parent/child.

 

[vhoffman]

Good luck OP. This is one of those situations where society has brought it upon themselves. If people did not sue over every little thing this doctor would not have had to report you "just in case", which is the position he was left in. I think he went a little too far on this one, but I can see why he would do it- he doesn't know you. I'm sure nothing will come of it.

This same thing happened to my mom when I was little. I used to vomit daily for no reason and would often faint and fall down the stairs. Of course if I fell down the stairs she would bring me to get checked out. After 2-3 falls, the hospitol raised an eyebrow. While they were questioning mom, a local police officer she knew well happened by. He vouched for her and it was dropped, but that was back in the day. If he had not been there I may have been taken.

Got a similar story--when I was about 5 year old, I pulled a pot of boiling soup off the stove. It poured right on my foot, causing a nasty burn. My mother did some first aid, removed the shoe, soaked the foot in cool water, then wrapped it in an old sheet and took me to the ER. At the ER a nurse pointed to the wrapped foot and asked "did Mommy do this?" I said yes, I thought she meant the bandage! Well, I recall being seperated from my parents and being asked all sorts of questions, hard to recall the details now. But it just so happened our pastor was in the ER that night, saw us and came over to see what was happening. He vouched for us, and then, by luck my ped happened by who also vouched for us. Well, that's as far as it went, but what it could have turned into! After all, I said "mommy did it" Did what, the bandage?

 

[mytwotinks]

There's a lot of websites mentioned here about the possible cause of this condition, and while I think they provide useful insight, DON'T mention them to CPS if/when you talke with them. They will twist it around that the mother "prefers to self-diagnosis".

You really should take your child and any others in the family to your ped for a general health check-up ASAP. That way you have documentation that your children are healthy and well-cared for. I really don't think you're going to pull out a kids eyelashes, then care for him in an appropriate manner otherwise!

Have any of the things you've posted happened to you? Have you been accused of "self diagnosing" or of "keeping your child home from school to hide abuse" or of "witholding medical care to hide abuse?"

I am really just wondering. If you haven't actually had anything happen outside of them coming to your home it seems as if you are jumping to a lot of conclusions about what they are going to acuse you of.

I guess that I am just not understanding why you can't tell them that your dh is on a job interview. That sounds kind of paranoid. If you act like you have something to hide, they are probably going to look pretty close at your home situation.

 

[Goofyluver]

Have any of the things you've posted happened to you? Have you been accused of "self diagnosing" or of "keeping your child home from school to hide abuse" or of "witholding medical care to hide abuse?"

I am really just wondering. If you haven't actually had anything happen outside of them coming to your home it seems as if you are jumping to a lot of conclusions about what they are going to acuse you of.

I guess that I am just not understanding why you can't tell them that your dh is on a job interview. That sounds kind of paranoid. If you act like you have something to hide, they are probably going to look pretty close at your home situation.

I agree!

 

[kparc]

This happened to my daughter when she was experience alot of stress at school. We ruled out an eye infection as a cause for the eye rubbing first. We then figured out the she was rubbing and pulling at her eyelashes compulsively until the were gone. We didn't really notice her doing it at first but after the shock of seeing them gone we really sat back and observed closely ( she usually did it in bed at night when she was trying to sleep) We got her something else to do with her hands, and dealt with the difficulties at school and the lashes did grow back.

 

[vhoffman]

I certainly don't want to hijack this thread. Hope to hear from the OP soon and that all is well. It such a horrible feeling, to have every little aspect of your life held under a microscope by someone trying to find something wrong. Good luck to the op