Vent-- If you aren't handicapped do not use the darn sticker

[PebblesMK]

There of course are varying reasons that people need to use handicap spaces...from needing the space to get a wheelchair in and out, for people who have bad joints and pain,to people who are out of breath for various reasons. With that said, living in a small town, I have seen and known people who use a handicap tag as a "community" item. I too get angry when I see people park in a handicap stall and literally run into the store. What's even more aggravating is the fact that there is usually a spot within a spot or two right next to them. I really try not to judge, because as everybody has pointed out, there can be hidden causes...but I really do believe that far too many people use those when they don't need to and sometimes it's difficult not to be judgemental toward them. I don't blame the OP for being upset, I most likely would have been irked as well. Flame away...but people in our society are really good about being deceitful and tend to find the "easy" way out. I'm all for those who need it, but really saddens me to know that people abuse it. And for the record, my grandma had a tag and the one time I needed to use the parking space to have enough room to get her out of the car in her wheelchair, there were absolutely no handicap spots open....in a parking lot of about 25 stalls. We ended up parking out in the middle of bumblefudge county so that I was able to get her in and out.

 

[~disneydiva~]

Interesting. Almost everyone is telling the OP not to judge, yet you guys are judging her.

 

[phorsenuf]

I am disabled and have a handicap tag. I look perfectly fine. However I have heart issues, breathing problems, disc issues, fibromyalgia, and a nerve disorder in my legs.

There are days I will go to the store and feel fine but after walking around (in that annoying mall walk speed) and standing too long I'll be in bad shape by the time I leave. So even though I may feel ok going in I still park in the handicap spot because I never know how I'll be coming out. So on some days you may see me coming out and looking perfectly fine.

Some days too I have no choice but to do more than I should like lifting bags of cat food or kitty litter. I'm not suppose to lift more than 10 pounds. Maybe the pain shows on my face, maybe not. Nobody has ever told me one way or another.

I get the looks and I hate it, but I know I need it and my doctor agrees (as does the government) so I guess I shouldn't care what others think but it's hard to not feel uncomfortable.

 

[Scornelius]

Geeze there sure a bunch of holier than thou's on here. I always love the irony here when someone comes and posts and gets accused of being so judgemental,who are we to judge yada yada yada. You all realize you are doing the same thing. Typical DIS

This post is my favorite of the bunch

Glad you like it. You don't understand irony either.

 

[Mermaid02]

Are all of you that are bashing the OP so naive as to believe that abuse of the of the handicap parking sticker doesnt happen and may be happening in the instance of the OP post?

Of course it happens- and it's for the law to determine not me.

Having been someone with a handicapped placard, I will NOT judge someone with a placard.

 

[Bren's Mom]

Oh I know for a fact it happens! There is a girl on one of my kid's sports team, her father is in a wheelchair and of course they have a handicapped sticker. However, the father is not able to attend many games/tournaments due to other medical issues yet the mom always uses the handicapped placard to get the closest parking spot. They have a wheelchair accessible van, but she uses it on her other vehicle. Especially at tournaments, we often have to park far away due to the number of teams involved, and she will brag how she used her husband's placard to park close. (She is not disabled herself.)

I find this sad because she copuld be depriving someone who really needs the spot. I would think she would have more empathy being that her husband is disabled.

In our state it is just a hangtag so it's easy to transfer from one vehicle to another.

This is illegal. Call the non-emergency # when you arrive the next time and find the van in the handicap spot and no dad there. Ask them if they'd verify that the person operating the van is the one the permit is issued to. Explain the situation. If they're a decent department, they'll come check it out.

I do parking tickets as part of my job, so I know that people will use these permits illegally. They do it every single day. I just had someone walk in earlier with a dead person's placard. She'd gotten a ticket for parking in handicap but just forgot 'her' placard. Ummmm, nope. Not yours. I'll be keeping this one. If you need one, contact your physician.

However, having said that, I don't judge anyone who is using a permit. If I see one that appears to be a violation (i.e. a man's name on the signature line, shaky handwriting like it's an older person but it's a 20ish young lady who leaves the vehicle) then I'll ask an officer to stop by, run the permit and issue a ticket.

 

[MnMomtoboys]

To sad to know how many people sit in judgement to others. 3 years ago I was pregnant and having major problems. While I could still do some things walking for more than a few minutes so yes I could of been that lady. I would of also gotten a placard to park in the close spots if I wasn't so far along. What I did have to do is drive around to wait until someone pulled out of a close spot.

Maybe you shouldn't to judge someone until you find out the whole story.

 

[MnMomtoboys]

Interesting. Almost everyone is telling the OP not to judge, yet you guys are judging her.

its called karma

 

[DisMN]

Are all of you that are bashing the OP so naive as to believe that abuse of the of the handicap parking sticker doesnt happen and may be happening in the instance of the OP post?

Oh I know for a fact it happens! There is a girl on one of my kid's sports team, her father is in a wheelchair and of course they have a handicapped sticker. <snip> Especially at tournaments, we often have to park far away due to the number of teams involved, and she will brag how she used her husband's placard to park close. (She is not disabled herself.)
Edited to add, other than people I know personally, I can't say who needs it or not and I don't judge someone for parking there even if they look "okay".

I'm absolutely not naive to this. However, I do not have the medical background to assess whether an individual I see shopping in the store does or does not have a disability. Nor have I been appointed as the police for violators.

Several weeks ago I parked next to a handicapped van parked in the handicapped spot with a teenage driver at the wheel. The shopper she was waiting for came out while I was unloading my grandson and I heard the two teens giggle and remark how fun it was to use grammas handicapped sticker so they could park close to the door.
So yes it does happen and sometimes we do know whether they need the sticker or not. But like a previous person here said I'm not the police. I'll let karma do it's job.
Unless you actually hear someone talk about not needing the sticker you won't know if it's needed.

 

[cteddiesgirl]

Well, two things.

1. People who don't need them shouldn't use handicapped stickers.

2. The OP has no idea if the person she saw actually has a handicap, but it would seem to me that if they can physically lift such heavy items, that they really don't need to be that close to the front door, unless their handicap is in their feet? It couldn't be back or upper-body or ?

What handicap WOULD this person have that would give them a sticker if they seem to have full body use? Maybe they are mentally handicapped? Maybe they have a fear of parking too far away?

My aunt has MS. Has had for many years. Even when it was in remission, she would sometimes have "bad days" where she could hardly walk. But sometimes when she would have a good day, she could do all the things that the OP said. But it would sometimes still be difficult to walk. She would never say anything to anyone unless she absolutely had to.

Recently, I saw her at a family party and she was noticibly having problems. But she never said a word to anyone.

There are many people who are handicapped that may not appear to be to the average stranger.

Never, ever judge a book by it's cover.

 

[monkeybug]

I'm absolutely not naive to this. However, I do not have the medical background to assess whether an individual I see shopping in the store does or does not have a disability. Nor have I been appointed as the police for violators.

But the OP didn't police this "violator" either. She didn't walk up a call the woman out on it. She's just venting because she saw a situation in which it looked like the space was abused. As others have pointed out, there are some disabilities that would allow for someone to lift giant jugs, but still make walking difficult (oh dear lord, it would be just my luck to end up with that last line being picked up by the tag fairy). Her initial reaction does not make the OP a judgmental villain.
We all judge. All of us! Even if you say you don't, you do. It's part of our nature to try and categorize things. If most of us saw a guy with long stringy hair, raggedy clothes, and smelling like alcohol on a dark alley, we would probably not walk up and strike up a conversation. Something inside would instantly say "this doesn't seem right". Could turn out he's up for the Nobel prize and is practically a saint, but our first reaction is to judge the situation based on the information we have, and past experience.
That's what the OP did. She saw a situation that didn't look right, and based on the knowledge that some times people do misuse those spots, made a judgment. If she had walked up and started yelling at the person I'd have a problem, but the fact is that she did exactly what all of us do in one situation or another. She's just as human as the rest of us.
Discriminating based on judgment is a different thing all together, and I would expect every adult to know better than to do that, but just talking about a situation because it struck some sort of chord in you does not make you a bad person.
The OP was angered because she felt like someone was taking advantage of a situation, and hurting deserving people in the process. She might have been mistaken, but that doesn't mean she is any more judgmental than any of the rest of us.

 

[MAKmom]

I know that there are those who are handicapped that do not appear to be, but if you are able to purchase two 5 gallon water jugs (the kind that go into the water coolers) and a cart full of other stuff and are able to load it into your cart, push that cart and then unload them into your car, you are clearly not in need of that parking spot.
I normally don't get bothered by this stuff but there were two other people in the store who were handicapped, and for all I know that lady with the jugs took their parking spot

You have not idea what you are saying.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I am betting the OP is just trolling..

The OP is a regular poster here. She's helpful whenever possible, and as opinion-oriented as the rest of us. If she observed something and formed an opinion, I believe it's legitimate. Plus, as she indicated in the FIRST word in the title of this thread, this is a vent. And she's aware not all handicaps are visible.

I can't speak for other states, but in Massachusetts to qualify for a HP placard or plate, one generally must be unable to walk more than 200 feet without assistance. While the actual point of the plate/placard is to get the assigned person out of the flow of traffic as quickly and safely as possible, it's not unreasonable to think that the actual medical conditions per the MA RMV would also make it risky/difficult/bad judgment for that person to lift two forty-plus pound containers unassisted from the shelf to the cart to the vehicle.

JMO, yours may vary.

 

[cteddiesgirl]

I know what I'mtalking about because I know what I saw her do and I will stand behind what I said, that woman did not need to park in that spot, whether or not she needed that sticker.
Just as I don't know what I'm talking about neither do any of you, there is in fact a chance that she wasn't handicapped and was using that sticker/tag just to get a primo spot

Also, with my aunt, even a good day can go bad really fast. I've seen where she walked into a store looking just fine, but had trouble walking back to the car in under a half hour.


My mom also had a handicap tag when she was alive. But no one looking at her could really tell if she needed it or not. She had a heart condition in which she couldn't walk too much. Just an extra few steps could do her in in the last year or so of her life. A few extra steps could cause her to have an angina attack or worse. But you'd never know it just by looking at her. Because she did push herself to her limits, often. She would pick up heavy objects that she was told by her doctor not to and walk more than she should.

Stop trying to judge people by what you don't know.

 

[kaytieeldr]

There was nothing wrong with her, and even if there was she certainly didn't need to take that spot from someone else who needed it more. There was an elderly woman in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank in the store and an elderly man that had trouble walking, from what I witnessed they deserved that spot more then the jugs lady.

In fairness - Lowes has (or should have, based on the number of total parking spaces - numerous HP spaces. It's also possible the other shoppers you saw didn't have HP plates/placards, for a variety of reasons.

 

[mnrose]

My favorite abuse of a handicap placard occurred with a couple that worked out at gym I did in San Francisco. They both had uber expensive cars (very, very, very expensive) and both took ample advantage of San Francisco rules which allowed anyone with a handicap placard to park at ANY parking meter without paying for parking. Now, lest anyone accuse me of not understanding what their handicap(s) might have been (since both vehicles had the permit...and both of them were often there at.the.same.time), let me tell you that they both worked out with a personal trainer at least three days per week (maybe more...but, that was how often I was there, and they were there all three days I was). This was NOT a sedentary workout...it involved walking on a treadmill for a minimum of 25 minutes, then lifting weights (including stepping up and back on an 18 inch block) for another 1 hour. All kinds of weight lifting, and training, including jumping rope.

Now, judge me if you will, but people who can engage in vigorous exercise three times per week (including walking the equivalent of 1.5-2 miles) DO NOT NEED a handicap placard. Friggen ridiculous. And, not paying for a parking spot when your combined cars cost you more than 1/2 a million bucks, while you work out with a personal trainer (cost was then $70 per hour each), well that just frosted me.

Abuse occurs. Absolutely.

 

[kaytieeldr]

You have no idea who that lady was shopping for. Maybe her hubby is handicapped.

It wouldn't matter. Shopping FOR someone who's handicapped - even if that person has a placard - doesn't permit one to use a disabled parking space. Neither does having that person wait in the car while you go shopping. Only being the person to whom the placard was issued and exiting/entering the vehicle legally allows one to used handicapped parking.

 

[PebblesMom]

But the OP didn't police this "violator" either. She didn't walk up a call the woman out on it. She's just venting because she saw a situation in which it looked like the space was abused. As others have pointed out, there are some disabilities that would allow for someone to lift giant jugs, but still make walking difficult (oh dear lord, it would be just my luck to end up with that last line being picked up by the tag fairy). Her initial reaction does not make the OP a judgmental villain.
We all judge. All of us! Even if you say you don't, you do. It's part of our nature to try and categorize things. If most of us saw a guy with long stringy hair, raggedy clothes, and smelling like alcohol on a dark alley, we would probably not walk up and strike up a conversation. Something inside would instantly say "this doesn't seem right". Could turn out he's up for the Nobel prize and is practically a saint, but our first reaction is to judge the situation based on the information we have, and past experience.
That's what the OP did. She saw a situation that didn't look right, and based on the knowledge that some times people do misuse those spots, made a judgment. If she had walked up and started yelling at the person I'd have a problem, but the fact is that she did exactly what all of us do in one situation or another. She's just as human as the rest of us.
Discriminating based on judgment is a different thing all together, and I would expect every adult to know better than to do that, but just talking about a situation because it struck some sort of chord in you does not make you a bad person.

I think what this all boils down to is a choice. A choice to believe the best about people or believe the worst. Just because the OP was venting it does not make her a bad person, true, but by the same rule just because the lady was using a handicap card and did not have a visable handicap, she is not a bad person either.

 

[Skywalker]

There is definitely abuse of stickers.

One couple I know, the man has a legitimately issued permit because of his bad knees. So he drives his wife to the store, parks in the handicapped spot...and then sits there and reads the paper while she runs in and shops.
Okay...

Anyway, I think the OP knows what she saw, and is perfectly allowed to form an opinion.

 

[Mermaid02]

It wouldn't matter. Shopping FOR someone who's handicapped - even if that person has a placard - doesn't permit one to use a disabled parking space. Neither does having that person wait in the car while you go shopping. Only being the person to whom the placard was issued and exiting/entering the vehicle legally allows one to used handicapped parking.

I believe as long as the person is in the vehicle you can use the placard- the person may have gone back to the car early and they would not have to move it.