Vent-- If you aren't handicapped do not use the darn sticker

[lulubelle]

I agree you are wrong to judge, OP.
My DH has stage 4 lung cancer. Right before chemo he takes a drug we call the "Superman" drug. He is strong and feels invinsible. He takes it to help him combat the complete devastation that the chemo does to his body. That day he could very well lift those jugs and even do a little dance in the aisle. But two days after chemo and for several days after he can barely get out of bed. He has a handicap placard and we use it no matter how he feels that day. That lady may have been a cheater or may have a disability, but you don't know. And that really is the whole point - you don't know what her situation is or isn't.

 

[ForAandA]

No, I'm not wrong. I was behind this woman at Lowes. I watched her grab those jugs out of her cart have the cashier scan them and put them back in. I left the store right after her and watched her load them into her car. There was nothing wrong with her, and even if there was she certainly didn't need to take that spot from someone else who needed it more. There was an elderly woman in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank in the store and an elderly man that had trouble walking, from what I witnessed they deserved that spot more then the jugs lady.



You'd be wrong.

Just a little FYI, delete your post because you'll be getting points for a personal attack when you call someone a troll.

Wow, a bit store like Lowe's has only 1 disabled parking spot? I find that hard to believe.

 

[Magic Mom]

I am betting the OP is just trolling..

What? She has 7000 posts. If she were a troll I think it would have popped up by now.

She may be wrong, she may be right, but she's no troll.

 

[ForAandA]

Name them.

Broken neck, broken back, stenosis of the spine, degenerative disk disease, arthritis, fibro, cancer.

Sorry, Dh hs only 5 out of six. I better walk away. I feel sorry for you .

 

[ForAandA]

I want to apologize to everyone. I am mostly a lurker on these boards, and here I go with multiple posts slamming the OP. That makes me just as bad, and I am truly sorry.

It just hits a really sore spot. After PT, DH feels as though he can do anything for a day or two. Then, he is back in bed, hurting more .

I know that some people abuse the stickers. To be honest, we don't even have one (he refuses). I just don't get how people can judge!

 

[cteddiesgirl]

Sorry OP, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you don't know what you're talking about.


My mom has Lupus. Most of the time you wouldn't know by looking at her that there's anything wrong with her. But she never knows how she's going to feel from one minute to the next. Even on her "good" days she uses the designated Handicapped parking places because she doesn't know if she will still be having a good day when she's ready to leave somewhere. She describes it like being hit by a truck - one minute she's okay and the next she can barely function. I've had to help her to the car before, or go get the car to pick her up. My dad used to help with that, too - but now that he's gone she has to go most places on her own, and that close parking place can make a world of difference when she suddenly starts feeling worse with no one there to help her. She even picks up things she shouldn't - like pet food and bottled water - because she doesn't want to ask for help. She makes herself do it, but she pays later that day. Sometimes she can barely move the day after she does her grocery shopping if she goes alone; she has to stay on a heating pad for days before her back stops hurting enough for her to function again.

Yes, some people use the stickers/hangtags when they aren't entitled to. But you can't tell who those people are. Unless I actually hear someone bragging about cheating the system, I'm going to assume the people using those spaces are actually entitled to. I'd never presume to know their medical history unless I was their doctor.




It didn't start well, either!

Besides my mom's heart condition, she also had a very rare form of Lupus. The part I bolded would often happen.

There were days that she'd go shopping for a while, come home, do some cleaning, and even start dinner. Then it would suddenly hit her and I'd have to finish fixing dinner and she wouldn't even be able to eat.

There are several medical conditions where someone has nothing wrong with them one minute, then the next they suddenly can't hardly move. And it can happen at any moment.


As for people illegally using stuckers, my dad did that once. He dropped me off at the door of the local Wal-Mart, then proceeded to find a handicap space and pulled out my mom's old placard (after she'd been gone for several years). When I came out and found him in the handicapped spot, I yelled at him about it. He's never done it since and I believe he destroyed the placard so he no longer even has it.

 

[monkeybug]

I think what this all boils down to is a choice. A choice to believe the best about people or believe the worst. Just because the OP was venting it does not make her a bad person, true, but by the same rule just because the lady was using a handicap card and did not have a visable handicap, she is not a bad person either.

Well I happen to be a person who likes to believe the best about people too, but I do still make judgments from time to time! I imagine we all do. It can't be helped. Even the most optimistic about human nature will still sometimes look at a situation with out all the facts and say "that doesn't seem right". Sometimes that can be a great thing! Sometimes it's how criminals are captured, sometimes it's the beginning of positive changes, sometimes it stops people from making big mistakes. Sometimes it leaves us embarrassed and apologetic because we have misjudged.
I think what would have helped the OP in this situation is if she had stated something more along the lines of "I think I saw someone who may have misused a handicap space" and then had gone on to explain the story, instead of making the statement that she knew for sure a violation had occurred.

 

[legalsea]

Here is my point: during the course of a month I probably see a hundred or so people parking in the handicapped spots (as I am shopping, etc). 99 times out of a 100 I do not give them a second glance or thought.

However, every once in a while I see someone that simply is obviously not entitled to the placard. The original poster was not declaring that everyone he or she sees is an imposture, but saying that he or she felt that one particular person was probably not disabled.

Neither the original poster, nor really anyone else I have read on this thread (defending the original poster), is condemning placard users as a group. We all know that abuse happens. Every once in a while, I, for one, see one that I believe is abusing the placard.

We will now return to people's listing of their own personal health issues, which they believe show the original poster to be wrong in every particular.

 

[SunnyP4Disney]

Here is my point: during the course of a month I probably see a hundred or so people parking in the handicapped spots (as I am shopping, etc). 99 times out of a 100 I do not give them a second glance or thought.

However, every once in a while I see someone that simply is obviously not entitled to the placard. The original poster was not declaring that everyone he or she sees is an imposture, but saying that he or she felt that one particular person was probably not disabled.

Neither the original poster, nor really anyone else I have read on this thread (defending the original poster), is condemning placard users as a group. We all know that abuse happens. Every once in a while, I, for one, see one that I believe is abusing the placard.

We will now return to people's listing of their own personal health issues, which they believe show the original poster to be wrong in every particular.

Well, she opened herself up to that when she asked people to name invisible disablities. And people are more than happy to oblige.

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

Hmm interesting thread.

There is abuse of the system - there is no question about that.

The lady in the OPs first post - I have no clue if she needed that spot or not. It possible she may have and it's equally possible she may not have.

But as for the other two people who looked like they need the spot more than that woman: the "sticker" does not guarantee you a spot it only entitles you to use one. The spots are there on a first come first serve basis.

But, I think it is not my place to judge someone based on a few minutes of thier life if they need the spot or not.

My mother needed it when she was dying from lung cancer. Only in the last month would you have seen any sign of her disability.

I needed both times I had cancer. The only sign some one would have seen would have been my open sore from radiation - which I covered up on those outings anyway. Did I use the spots when I needed them but did not "look like it"- sure. Those spots helped me feel normal. They helped me keep my daughters life normal as I was fighting a life threatening disease on two seperate occasions in my life.

Did I care that I did not look like someone who needed the spot - nope. I was more concerned about living my life for as long and as well as I could. I cared more about keeping things as normal for my daughter than about a strangers rash judgement about me not looking diabled enough.

Now that I do not need those spots anymore I am so gratefull that I can walk from any spot in the lot I choose. Do I question or judge people who use the spots that dont have a visable? No way I am too busy being greatful for my own life to be concerned about what they do.

Plus like someone said Karma will take care of the pepple who do abuse the spots.

 

[mhsjax]

Probably- because I'm weak. However, my deformed/arthritic/necrotic hip would have nothing to do with it.

Really, wow. My hubby is a true brute. But I can guarantee with his bad knee, you would sure see it in his face. There is no way he could have lifted those things when he had his knee problems. Now his knee is as fixed as it is going to be, until he is old enough to have a knee replacement.

 

[robinb]

Come on now, lay off the OP. I don't believe for a second that if any person saw a woman in a wheelchair with O2 that couldn't get a Handcapped spot and then saw that the person who did was doing the Poland Spring Olympics you wouldn't be a little miffed. Sure the Olympic lifter could very well have issues etc. but one would probably conclude that if they were able to lift so much and walk at a brisk pace etc. that maybe parking one or two spots over wouldn't have killed them. The person in the wheelchair would have much more difficulty with that. Sure, if you have the placard it is your right etc. but I think the OP just felt bad for the woman who very obviously needed that spot. Most people (I don't care how anyone denies it) would probably have the same thought.

Poland Spring Olympics . You made me laugh.

ITA with you. The OP's heart is in the right place. I am usually one of the first people to tell someone off when they complain about people in wheelchairs or ECVs at Disney parks or with tiny therapy rat-dogs. If I had witnessed the same thing described by the OP it would have given me pause and yes, I would have come to the same conclusion.

Unlike the OP, I know better to not vent about it on the DIS . Oh, and before someone tries to tell me I should fall on my knees because I don't need a placard ... no can do. I was just diagnosed with arthritis in my right knee.

 

[Ceila]

Respectfully, no. The entire purpose of a handicap plate or placard is to get the person to whom it was issued out of the flow of traffic as quickly and safely as possible. Period. If that person is not getting in or out of the car, the car may not be parked in a handicap parking space.

I think you may have misunderstood the person you quoted. They were saying that it is possible that a non-disabled driver and a disabled passenger parked in a handicapped spot, then both went into the store. Then, perhaps the disabled passenger came left the store first, went to the car, and then sat there waiting for the driver to return.

 

[mhsjax]

The woman could have had any of the conditions I put in red. The OP was venting, about something she knew nothing about. People called her out on it. What's the problem?

A class III cardia condition, the person would not be able to lift those bottles of water. Look it up. It says exhaustion after almost any activity. confortable only when resting. This was my mother, there was no way she could lift anything like that because of her heart. I understand you are trying not to judge, but it a person had any of these reasons you highlighted, they would not be doing the things that the OP observed.

 

[mhsjax]

Broken neck, broken back, stenosis of the spine, degenerative disk disease, arthritis, fibro, cancer.

Sorry, Dh hs only 5 out of six. I better walk away. I feel sorry for you .

And with any of those, you really think that the person the OP was talking about could lift those water bottles. I don't think so.

I am sorry about your hubby. But just because he is legitimately has these doesn't mean that everyone with a handicapped sticker does. I think you are taking the personally. i am sure that the OP, like the rest of us, just wants to make sure that people who really need that spot can get it. So no need to feel sorry for her at all.

 

[Sparx]

Name them.

Its none of your business. The Americans with Disabilities Act prevents people like you from discriminating against the disabled because you, in all your medical wisdom, deem them to be healthy.

 

[bettymae1121]

Since I have no way of knowing a persons disability (or lack of one) when I see them in a HC spot, or using a scooter, or whatever, I just don't worry about it. I'm positive these things are abused, and that makes me ill, but since there isn't anyway to know outside of rudely asking the person, I just don't see the point in letting it bother me.

 

[MzDiz]

I guess since the OP asked me to name disabilities, I'll name mine.

I have had two surgeries in the past month for separate issues. One was to repair a torn meniscus, the other was to fuse my vertebrae, c4 through c7. I had severe stenosis and herniated discs, still have arthritis, my knees, in the words of my ortho are "messed up", and I have fibromyalgia.

My job is *extremely* physical. I am a field tech for the phone company and I'm expected to be able to do things like haul around an 80 pound ladder and strap spikes to my boots and climb a telephone pole. I could definitely lift those water jugs.

I have been issued a handicap parking tag in the past a few times. I don't have one right now, but if I did, you bet I'd use it if I felt like it. I'd use it when I had a bad day, when my body ached, when I'd had enough of the daily toll my job takes on me. I'd use it without looking around to make sure there's nobody more "disabled" than I am. Know why? Because it's my right.

My point is, sometimes you do what you HAVE TO DO, even if you know you'll pay for it later. I try not to limp or call attention to myself, I try not to moan when I'm doing something, even if it's painful, but you'd better believe I can feel it.

OP, I'll park where I want.

 

[Jennasis]

I guess since the OP asked me to name disabilities, I'll name mine.

I have had two surgeries in the past month for separate issues. One was to repair a torn meniscus, the other was to fuse my vertebrae, c4 through c7. I had severe stenosis and herniated discs, still have arthritis, my knees, in the words of my ortho are "messed up", and I have fibromyalgia.

My job is *extremely* physical. I am a field tech for the phone company and I'm expected to be able to do things like haul around an 80 pound ladder and strap spikes to my boots and climb a telephone pole. I could definitely lift those water jugs.

I have been issued a handicap parking tag in the past a few times. I don't have one right now, but if I did, you bet I'd use it if I felt like it. I'd use it when I had a bad day, when my body ached, when I'd had enough of the daily toll my job takes on me. I'd use it without looking around to make sure there's nobody more "disabled" than I am. Know why? Because it's my right.

My point is, sometimes you do what you HAVE TO DO, even if you know you'll pay for it later. I try not to limp or call attention to myself, I try not to moan when I'm doing something, even if it's painful, but you'd better believe I can feel it.

OP, I'll park where I want.

Yikes! If you just had disc fusion done PLEASE don't lift anything if you can avid it. ...My surgeon would have heart failure if I told him I was hauling ladders and jugs of water (and I'm 8 weeks out!)

 

[MzDiz]

Yikes! If you just had disc fusion done PLEASE don't lift anything if you can avid it. ...My surgeon would have heart failure if I told him I was hauling ladders and jugs of water (and I'm 8 weeks out!)

Oh, I'm not! I hear ya, my surgeon would freak too. I'm on disability for most of the summer while I heal and fuse and what not. I was speaking more about before this, with all that pain I was in, I did what I had to do (probably not wise, in retrospect)

I need a new career path.

ps - I'll be two weeks tomorrow. Please tell me it sucks less in time, lol, ouch.