Vent: Bullying and Schools!!

[darlene9947]

I don't think it is heartless at all. This mom went through hell with her son, adn this women's son caused it and she did nothing to stop it. It's called KARMA!!!

I absolutely agree. This other mother knew what her son was soing and did nothing to prevent another mom's anguish.

 

[tomthebarncat]

I don't think it is heartless at all. This mom went through hell with her son, adn this women's son caused it and she did nothing to stop it. It's called KARMA!!!

I am the poster who shared my DH story. Yes, what my MIL did was mean but I do not think she was out of line. Their kid made her son and so many other kids daily life a living hell. The family encouraged and promoted violence and their boys never missed an opportunity to beat some body up. It is sad that they all grew up useless, in jail or dead. As for the bully getting shot, he had already shot and killed the elderly liqour store owner, but not before he made him beg for his life, and just happened to be get shot by an off duty cop who only stopped in for a 6 pack. So I think that the family of the old man who begged for his life would have had more to say in court as victims family members, than anything my MIL could have written in a card.

 

[Beth E. (NJ)]

Bullying in schools is an awful thing. As a parent our heart breaks for our child. Things are different than when we were kids and schools/parents/administrators had the "kids will be kids" attitude. It's not okay to bully and schools are starting to know that. That doesn't mean that they have the ability to do something about it, which is frustrating. All schools should take it very seriously and want to put an end to it keeping all our children safe. I know this makes it harder for teachers, who now have more to contend with, but they have to be the extra eyes and ears at the school.

That being said, the boards are not the place for bullying either. Personal attacks are not permitted and will not be tolerated. If the thread can't stay civil it will be closed.

 

[twinspluscade]

ITA... the MIL sending the note was beyond bullying IMHO. It was absolutely cruel and horrible. If she acts in such a cruel manner, I can't help but wonder if instead of bullying, the problem between the 2 was mutual. After all apples don't tend to fall far from the tree. If the MIL is capable of such horrendous behavior, she certainly couldn't have been much of a role model.

I agree. Especially when you consider the son (OP's dh) nearly beat another child to death with a rock. . I read the OP's post and my first thought was that thank goodness the dh didn't have access to any guns, or it might've turned into a Columbine-type situation.

"Revenge" is NOT a solution, and just brings the victims down to the bullies level.

 

[JoiseyMom]

1 in 4 girls, and 1 in 10 boys will be sexually assaulted before adulthood.

Yes, and if their were statistics on how many kids were bullied in school, and on a daily basis, I am sure the number would be much higher.

 

[meandtheguys2]

Yes, and if their were statistics on how many kids were bullied in school, and on a daily basis, I am sure the number would be much higher.

It's funny, they talk about bullies and how bad they are and you get to draw a poster at the beginning of the year, but that's it. They are doing a program called CAP (Child Assualt Prevention), and its role playing and sounds great. DS24 GF is actually one of the staff doing the presentations. I know that's important, but lets get real. Our children are bullied on a daily basis. The odds of them being assualted are not very high.

The CAP program addresses bullies, btw. And stranger danger, and assault by a known person.

Bullying is horrific. I don't think anyone said it wasn't did they?

 

[JoiseyMom]

I agree. Especially when you consider the son (OP's dh) nearly beat another child to death with a rock. . I read the OP's post and my first thought was that thank goodness the dh didn't have access to any guns, or it might've turned into a Columbine-type situation.

"Revenge" is NOT a solution, and just brings the victims down to the bullies level.

Revenge is not a solution. But at the time there was no one but his parents trying to help him. The school did nothing, everyone did nothing. This child had had enough and fought back and stopped the bully. It was obviously proven that he did it in self defense. He was protecting him self the only way he knew how. It wasn't Columbine because it wasn't pre meditated.

People, adults and kids can only be pushed so far..we are human, and this happens.

If the bully had been stopped by the adults in his life it wouldn't have ended that way. But considering the type of person he became and his family was, there is no big suprise of how he turned out. Sad but true. And I am not going to berate a mother who's child was tortured for how she responded to it. I am not her, and I did not walk in her shoes, and will not judge her.

 

[JoiseyMom]

The CAP program addresses bullies, btw. And stranger danger, and assault by a know person.

Bullying is horrific. I don't think anyone said it wasn't did they?

I didn't realize the program discussed bullies. I knew the other items since DS's GF told me, and the school pamphlet said so, but it didn't mention bullying.

I am all for the program, but I wish they did more for bullying.

Hmm..maybe if bullying was a subject on the standardized tests!!!

 

[meandtheguys2]

I didn't realize the program discussed bullies. I knew the other items since DS's GF told me, and the school pamphlet said so, but it didn't mention bullying.

I am all for the program, but I wish they did more for bullying.

Hmm..maybe if bullying was a subject on the standardized tests!!!

http://www.teamwv.org/Pages/cap_new.html

WHAT IS CAP?

CAP is a school-based program that uses workshops to educate children on how to reduce their vulnerability. The workshops are presented by trained volunteers. These workshops consist of three skits describing the following situations: a bully confrontation, a stranger attempting to grab a child using a trick, and a known adult making a child uncomfortable with a kiss and then telling him or her it's their little secret.

We dealt with far more bully situations in the talks after the presentation.

 

[sha_lyn]

Yes, and if their were statistics on how many kids were bullied in school, and on a daily basis, I am sure the number would be much higher.

There are statistics

Almost 30% of youth in the United States (or over 5.7 million) are estimated to be involved in bullying as either a bully, a target of bullying, or both. In a recent national survey of students in grades 6-10, 13% reported bullying others, 11% reported being the target of bullies, and another 6% said that they bullied others and were bullied themselves.[1]

http://www.safeyouth.org/scripts/faq/bullying.asp

 

[lisaland]

Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult? It is about a boy who goes in and shoots up a high school because he was bullied all his life. Their defense was that his state of mind was much like battered woman syndrome and that they suffer from post traumatic stress. I won't tell you what happens but it's a pretty good story.

Lisa

 

[JacobsMommy11002]

Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult? It is about a boy who goes in and shoots up a high school because he was bullied all his life. Their defense was that his state of mind was much like battered woman syndrome and that they suffer from post traumatic stress. I won't tell you what happens but it's a pretty good story.

Lisa

I have read that. It was a good book, and at the same time I read it and felt such pain for the boy who was bullied and did the shooting. His life was absolutely awful, to the point it made me almost sick to my stomach to read, and had to put it down. It was that bad. But again, revenge is not the answer. There has to be a way to stop these bullies, and it take a lot.

 

[danalee]

Wow what a thread. My son also gets bullied. He is a "softy" and is upset when someone else is upset and is just a kind hearted kid and I am so proud of him for that.
So getting bullied and called names takes a toll on him. He never missed a day of school til January came around and it was a belly ache every morning or a headache, I knew the signs I was "the fat girl" growing up so I just knew in my heart he was being bullied. I was right 2 boys and a girl just picked on him from a to z for no reason.

Long story short I got to the end of it, and had my go round with his teacher who said "its not my job to be the bully police"
So I called the princaple and told her she also didnt think it was a "big deal" how about I go to the school board and let them know that neither of you can find the time to fix this, oh and school has the entire "Dont be a bully, we wont stand for it" kinda thing going on! Oh really thats not the way I see it. I had to kick, scream and fight so my child could go to school everyday without being afraid. Makes me want to home school, I just might yet.

Oh and the ending of this story was one of these bullies ended up breaking another childs nose, yes the are in 3rd grade and the kid swung a book at the another little boy trying to knock his glasses off, nice kid huh. Oh and you should see his daddy "my kids tough what can I say" and we wonder where his lovely personality comes from. Thanks for letting me vent

 

[JoiseyMom]

Wow what a thread. My son also gets bullied. He is a "softy" and is upset when someone else is upset and is just a kind hearted kid and I am so proud of him for that.
So getting bullied and called names takes a toll on him. He never missed a day of school til January came around and it was a belly ache every morning or a headache, I knew the signs I was "the fat girl" growing up so I just knew in my heart he was being bullied. I was right 2 boys and a girl just picked on him from a to z for no reason.

Long story short I got to the end of it, and had my go round with his teacher who said "its not my job to be the bully police"
So I called the princaple and told her she also didnt think it was a "big deal" how about I go to the school board and let them know that neither of you can find the time to fix this, oh and school has the entire "Dont be a bully, we wont stand for it" kinda thing going on! Oh really thats not the way I see it. I had to kick, scream and fight so my child could go to school everyday without being afraid. Makes me want to home school, I just might yet.

Oh and the ending of this story was one of these bullies ended up breaking another childs nose, yes the are in 3rd grade and the kid swung a book at the another little boy trying to knock his glasses off, nice kid huh. Oh and you should see his daddy "my kids tough what can I say" and we wonder where his lovely personality comes from. Thanks for letting me vent

OMG!!!! Was this kid expelled or suspended from school? As a parent I would have pressed assualt charges against that child!!

I pity the child/parent that physically harms my child. I mean there are instances that you know are accidental..but for the others!!

Are they leaving you DS alone now?? Hugs to him and you!! I was also the fat girl..kids are brutal! I was so hopeful with DD, she isn't fat, and is very pretty, and ya know what..it doesn't matter. She may as well be the fat girl. It really stinks .

 

[danalee]

Yes the did expell him for 3 days, big whoppie cause he is still a nasty brat, he still picks on my DS and others but now at least he gets in trouble, the kid looses his recess every other day, and from what I understand in time-out most of the day. It dosent do much good. 2 days ago he just got caught cheating off my DS math test, its never ending with this kid. I asked his teacher what they are doing about and she dosent know just yet. Its terriable I know but I wish they would send him somewhere, like bootcamp!
The other 2 darlings are much better now but have there moments, but are leaving DS alone.

My DS is getting a little better in defending himself, its a shame but he had to. Not that he comes to blows or anything, but mouth wise he has learned to speak up, somewhat.

It still ongoing but not nearly as awful as it was, thank goodness! DS goes to school no belly aches or headaches so thats a plus.

I mean I know its unfortuantly gonna happen, but with the big "we are against bully's" type of thing I was hoping......But like in our case it took that child breaking some else's nose before anyone wanted to admit there was a problem.
And yes like you, I would had have to been sedated if that happen to my DS, that kids dad still just makes me want to spit! I wholeheartly believe that daddy dearest is the main problem, but I also think that the school knew daddy was a bully and thats why the didnt do anything in the first place with my son. From what I have heard this kid is the same year after year and he is in 3rd grade.

I will be so glad when school is done this year, and I have told them be no means do I want my son in that kids room next year. I was told that wouldnt be a problem, we shall see.

 

[JoiseyMom]

Yes the did expell him for 3 days, big whoppie cause he is still a nasty brat, he still picks on my DS and others but now at least he gets in trouble, the kid looses his recess every other day, and from what I understand in time-out most of the day. It dosent do much good. 2 days ago he just got caught cheating off my DS math test, its never ending with this kid. I asked his teacher what they are doing about and she dosent know just yet. Its terriable I know but I wish they would send him somewhere, like bootcamp!
The other 2 darlings are much better now but have there moments, but are leaving DS alone.

My DS is getting a little better in defending himself, its a shame but he had to. Not that he comes to blows or anything, but mouth wise he has learned to speak up, somewhat.

It still ongoing but not nearly as awful as it was, thank goodness! DS goes to school no belly aches or headaches so thats a plus.

I mean I know its unfortuantly gonna happen, but with the big "we are against bully's" type of thing I was hoping......But like in our case it took that child breaking some else's nose before anyone wanted to admit there was a problem.
And yes like you, I would had have to been sedated if that happen to my DS, that kids dad still just makes me want to spit! I wholeheartly believe that daddy dearest is the main problem, but I also think that the school knew daddy was a bully and thats why the didnt do anything in the first place with my son. From what I have heard this kid is the same year after year and he is in 3rd grade.

I will be so glad when school is done this year, and I have told them be no means do I want my son in that kids room next year. I was told that wouldnt be a problem, we shall see.

to you and DS. OMG your poor son, he has it so much worse then my DS. At this poing my DS is just in first grade. I am thankful that he speaks up for himself. If someone actually hit him, oh, boy that would be scary cause my little man has a temper and I think he would fight back. Then I would be fighting the school because my DS defended himself!!

 

[RMulieri]

I am the poster who shared my DH story. Yes, what my MIL did was mean but I do not think she was out of line. Their kid made her son and so many other kids daily life a living hell. The family encouraged and promoted violence and their boys never missed an opportunity to beat some body up. It is sad that they all grew up useless, in jail or dead. As for the bully getting shot, he had already shot and killed the elderly liqour store owner, but not before he made him beg for his life, and just happened to be get shot by an off duty cop who only stopped in for a 6 pack. So I think that the family of the old man who begged for his life would have had more to say in court as victims family members, than anything my MIL could have written in a card.

What happened to the criminal is KARMA, or divine retribution.What your MIL did was mean, plain and simple.

 

[tami82]

In response to another poster I too was bullied by a teacher when i was younger. I was a shy kid and she would pick on me and make me stand up in front of the class to do work on the chalk board that she knew i didnt know how to do and knew i didnt have the answers and would make me just stand up there, she made a jerk out of me. She would write letters home to my mom that my mind was "elsewhere". I would cry every morning because I didnt want to go to school because of this teacher. Now again, I was a very shy kid, not at all a trouble maker, didnt talk back to anyone, never started trouble. She just chose to bully me for whatever reason. Eventually I had to be put in another class and didnt have one problem after that. Its pretty sad that a teacher would do that but to this day I still remember it.