Vent About My Dad

[disneyfav4ever]

I have to agree with this.

Instead of taking a "deluxe" trip to Disney this year, why don't you save the money and get a place of your own?

My trip isn't "deluxe" I have the deluxe dining plan.

 

[december]

I don't understand what you think I should ask him? If he ate the pudding? I know he did, but he won't even admit to it, his exact words were "the cat ate it," which I know means he ate it, since he was the only one home.

Oh, he'll eat stuff then too! I made cookies for Christmas, told him I was going to use a pan of bars I had made for giving away, and he ate most of the pan, (a 13x9 pan,) by himself that day.

It is disturbing that in a home where your parents label their food and won't let you touch it, that your father feels comfortable eating food that obviously isn't his. It just seems like this problem has been going on for way too long. Are you still engaged and looking for your own place? I said it earlier in this thread-you need to find a place on your own and give yourself a chance to mature. I teach high school, and you sound like students at that level. I'm honestly not trying to be mean about it-if you have been controlled by your parents your whole life, then you haven't had a chance to be a grown up. You need this time on your own before you get married! I know you have stated that df isn't abusive or controlling, but I'm worried that you don't even understand what a normal relationship is!

I'm almost positive I've read your posts on other threads about what your children would do, and this is how you would handle your child, ....... Since you have been raised under the thumb of your parents, I'm afraid you are planning to repeat the pattern with your kids. I really hope you can see that this is not the best way to live the rest of your life!

Good luck OP.

 

[Crankyshank]

There's several ways you can go about this. Some examples:

- Install a camera and catch your Dad red handed. Then confront him with the proof.

- Tell your parents you are installing a fridge because people keep eating your food and if you keep blowing money on food because they are taking it without permission, you will never move out.
- draw up a contract and say while you live in your parents house you will pay XYZ and in exchange they will not eat your food unless you offer. If they do eat your food, the cost of said item would be deducted from your rent.
- get some therapy because this family dynamic is not normal and there are some things that really need to be addressed
- Let it go because in the scheme of things, it's just a box of pudding.
- move out

 

[ndelaware]

The OP has a history of complaining about the eating of her food in the home her parents own. Many of us have told her before and told her again that a place of her own is now in line.

She has a college degree, but the job was not to her liking, so she is now working the job she did in high school. It is time for her to put get rid of her pullups and get big girl panties.

The fact remains her father saw food sitting on the counter and just devoured it without concern for anyone else. I'd expect my dog to do something like this if she found something laying where she could get it, but not one of the human members of my family.

Since the man has zero manners and obviously has no control of his appetite he remains a rude, ignorant, pig.

 

[boomhauer]

My trip isn't "deluxe" I have the deluxe dining plan.

Whatever. Take the money you're spending and move out.

These are the type of problems I had living at home when I was 15 years old. If I remember correctly, you are 23. In all honesty, I kind of envy you. I wish at 23 I had the luxury of being concerned about someone eating a box of pudding I just made.

 

[lilyv]

Whatever. Take the money you're spending and move out.

A week at Disney is lots of fun.

Moving out and choosing independence, priceless.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I don't think anyone is argueing if your dad is a pig or not. But if my life was that bad, I had no privacy, and food was divided up that way, and I was in my TWENTIES, my butt would be moved out a looooooooooong time ago. Especially if I had a degree, a job, and was engaged. It would really be a simple solution, all the way around.

 

[disneyfav4ever]

A week at Disney is lots of fun.

Moving out and choosing independence, priceless.

But if the money I spend on Disney would only pay for a months rent, it really isn't worth going into debt after that to move out.

Going to Disney solo does get me out of the house for a little while, without going into debt.

Spending that money on an apartment would cover me for a month, and then I'd go into debt.

 

[Jennasis]

It is disturbing that in a home where your parents label their food and won't let you touch it, that your father feels comfortable eating food that obviously isn't his. It just seems like this problem has been going on for way too long. Are you still engaged and looking for your own place? I said it earlier in this thread-you need to find a place on your own and give yourself a chance to mature. I teach high school, and you sound like students at that level. I'm honestly not trying to be mean about it-if you have been controlled by your parents your whole life, then you haven't had a chance to be a grown up. You need this time on your own before you get married! I know you have stated that df isn't abusive or controlling, but I'm worried that you don't even understand what a normal relationship is!

I'm almost positive I've read your posts on other threads about what your children would do, and this is how you would handle your child, ....... Since you have been raised under the thumb of your parents, I'm afraid you are planning to repeat the pattern with your kids. I really hope you can see that this is not the best way to live the rest of your life!

Good luck OP.

That's a whole lot of assumptions on your part. When your done with your crystal ball could I borrow it?

 

[boomhauer]

But if the money I spend on Disney would only pay for a months rent, it really isn't worth going into debt after that to move out.

Going to Disney solo does get me out of the house for a little while, without going into debt.

Spending that money on an apartment would cover me for a month, and then I'd go into debt.

This is pretty simple. You say you pay rent. Either you don't pay enough rent to complain about your dad eating your pudding, or, you could get an apartment with the money you're paying your parents for rent.

 

[CheshireVal]

But if the money I spend on Disney would only pay for a months rent, it really isn't worth going into debt after that to move out.

Going to Disney solo does get me out of the house for a little while, without going into debt.

Spending that money on an apartment would cover me for a month, and then I'd go into debt.

The thing is, you have choices.

The reason people are questioning you so hard here is that you come on the Dis constantly complaining about the same thing.... over and over. Yet you seem to refuse to take any steps to change your situation. If you ignore the advice you're getting, your vents here start seeming a little old and redundant.

Either accept the fact that your dad is rude and just deal with it, or move out. Those are your choices.

 

[Jennasis]

Boomhauer said: This is pretty simple. You say you pay rent. Either you don't pay enough rent to complain about your dad eating your pudding, or, you could get an apartment with the money you're paying your parents for rent.



When I lived at home before I got married (to my ex) I paid my parents $300 per month in rent. This is not even close to the amount it would have cost me to get even a crappy basement apartment where I lived (Long Island).

BTW, I'm pretty sure I've seen you on the receiving end of the lynch mob around here. Perhaps you could lighten up a bit?

 

[RitaZ.]

Who knew pudding could be this controversial!

 

[Ciao Mickey]

Maybe your father was trying to teach you a lesson.

If my kid came home and made chocolate pudding only for himself, I would eat it all too.

You should have made enough for everyone in your home to share.

 

[boomhauer]

BTW, I'm pretty sure I've seen you on the receiving end of the lynch mob around here. Perhaps you could lighten up a bit?

I have. And I deserved it.

You have choices in life:

1.Change what isn't right.
2.Deal with it.

The OP doesn't want to do either of them.

 

[L107ANGEL]

Who knew pudding could be this controversial!

so true!

 

[mickeyfan2]

When I lived at home before I got married (to my ex) I paid my parents $300 per month in rent. This is not even close to the amount it would have cost me to get even a crappy basement apartment where I lived (Long Island).

BTW, I'm pretty sure I've seen you on the receiving end of the lynch mob around here. Perhaps you could lighten up a bit?

So if you are paying far less to your parents to live in their home than a crappy apartment would cost they are doing you a favor. Nothing wrong with the favor but one may need to let bottomless pit dad eat your pudding.

The OP has said that she pays rent but if her vacation money was put toward the 1st month rent she would be in going in debt to pay rent the second month. So she is not paying the going rate for the room she live in.

OP did you say to dad before you made the pudding "Hey dad, I am making pudding would you like me to make some for you too?" -or- Once it was made did you day "Dad I just made pudding. It is still cooling but as soon as it sets I will bring you some." -or- Did you just make the pudding, leave it on the counter and then go and hide in your room? Communication is a key to getting what you want.

 

[MosMom]

There is another option available to you Disney. Keep living in your parent's house and taking Disney trips. Keep having your food eaten. Keep getting mad about it. DON'T post about it on the DIS.

That box of pudding cost a whole .33. Make another batch and treat your dad like a dog who cannot be trusted alone with food. Like the dad in A Christmas Story with turkey. Take the pudding with you to let it cool.

 

[Sleepy]

Make a quadruple batch of pudding and then you will be guaranteed at least a spoonful. You could even make a super large helping and then place some of it in a plastic container and hide it in the back of the fridge for yourself. Dad will go for the largest bowl first. If he is like my Dad, most likely he is not the type to plunder through stuff to find what is on the back of the shelf.

 

[Jennasis]

Maybe your father was trying to teach you a lesson.

If my kid came home and made chocolate pudding only for himself, I would eat it all too.

You should have made enough for everyone in your home to share.

Ummmm....a whole box IS enough for all the people in her house. The father was just a pig and ate all of it. What about mom? Doesn't mom get any? Then again, Mom's name wasn't on the box either.

Again, OBVIOUSLY the family dynamic here is far different than ours. I've never needed to label my food and the very thought seems bizarre to me. BUT....

1)The father is absolutely wrong.

2)The OP should ABSOLUTELY have her own place.

3)Neither of these things seem likely to change anytime soon.

I understand what a vent is. Everybody has come on the DIS to complain about stuff (no matter how frivolous or mundane it may seem to the rest of us). Many people have come on to complain about the same thing over and over.

For example, I complained yesterday about my neighbors dogs coming onto my property and into my fenced yard to do their business and to bark/growl at me, my dogs, my customers and my livestock. It's a nuissance. Will I likely do more than just repeatedly go and chase the dogs out of the yard and back to their own place? NO...because I know the retribution I will face from my neighbors and it's not worth it. So I complain about it here (and to my MIL...). Makes me feel a little better, and in REAL LIFE I do what I need to do to live with the inconvenience...even if I complain about it repeatedly.