The Truth about Teacher Gifts, Things NOT to Do

[lady9]

The comment about Former Pres. Reagan was on the first or second page of this thread under a person's signature. I didn't look for the person's screen name.

I am a teacher and God Bless those who want to remember the teacher at Christmas time. But truly, a gift is not necessary. I do keep a scrapbook of my most prized notes and pictures from my class, many of these came from Christmas cards. We lost our beloved family dog last year and one of the parents I was close to knew it. She contacted most of my class and had them bring me dog food for Christmas so I could donate it to the local Human Society. It was the most touching gift I ever received.

Donations to charities are the best gifts for me!

 

[faindrops27]

How much does the average middle class parent give a teacher in a gift card. The monetary amount. Thank you.

 

[frankiemom]

I always give a $20 GC. This year I am going to Target to get 5 GC. My son has 2 teachers and my daughter has 3.

I used to be a teacher and always enjoyed a GC.

 

[Shelly D.]

This thread is really long and I haven't had time to read it all, but there are several good ideas. I think it's helpful since those of us who are new to this (ie kinder moms) probably haven't thought real hard about how teachers must get tons of candles, mugs, etc.

I have already bought Starbucks gift cards for teachers and others this season. They ran a great special on them at Costco so I couldn't pass them up (and I know our teacher loves her Starbucks). I also purchased a couple of inexpensive books at our school book fair. Each teacher made a wish list so i bought a few of the list and put them away until Christmas.

Something else I wanted to suggest for those on a budget (and sorry if this was mentioned). I have a friend who sometimes brings in lunch for her daughter's teacher. Nothing homemade, but maybe her favorite salad from a nearby restaurant or even a fast food place. The teachers seem to really enjoy it and it's a nice gesture even though the monetary cost isn't high.

 

[patsal]

K-5 when my kids were in contained classrooms I would give a $25.00 mall gift certificate to the teacher, except if they had a male teacher, then I would make it for Dick's Sporting goods. Any full time para in the room would get something my DD or DS would pick out for them--they were not my children's para, just in the room and of course while they are assigned to a specific child they still work with all of the children at some point. DD purchases something for her Cello instructor, both the in school and private one as well. Usually it is something in the $5-$10 range. I used to send $5.00 gift cards to all core MS and HS teachers until I found that the kids were not always able to get them to the teacher on that last day of school and felt weird about giving them after Christmas.
My DS was a real challenge and he put his MS counselor and I through the ringer. I really wanted to say thank you for her unwavering help and support, so I sent her 5 dozen roses--she called me that day freaking out that she had never seen so many roses and that I should not have done that, but then she said she really appreciated it. It needed to be something spontaneous and something that she wouldn't do for herself--and this poor woman, oh I knew her too well!

 

[chris1gill]

I am a single mom on a very tight budget. My little one gets special help from two different teachers and she has a student teacher. I don't know if its rude not to buy for all of them. I just simply can't buy for all of them so i am sticking to just their main teachers. I would like to acknowledge them in some way. I am sure that they understand people just can't afford to get too much. I know one is a Dunkin Donuts fanatic, but since we are on a budget do you think a $10.00 gift card is too cheap? I don't want my daughter's to be the only one in their class that doesn't give their teacher anything so we will give something, but it can't be much.

I don't know if anyone has said anything, but I don't think 10.00 is too cheap by any means... they'd be happy to receive it I'm sure.

Course I've always given cash in a card, but this year I pick a Vera Bradley umbrella and glass case (a clearance value of less than 20.00), should have stuck with the cash? Anyone have an opinion? I figure we can always use umbrella's, and she is always taking her glasses off, so I thought of this particular teacher for these two items... darn, now what do I do?

My Daughter's male teacher, he is fantastic, but honestly I have no idea what to buy men, so cash it is for him!

Next year she'll have six different teachers, so no more gifts I guess... I'm not sure how I'd handle it otherwise. I don't think she will have a teacher who is an advisor....

 

[cinnamon-sugah]

Something else I wanted to suggest for those on a budget (and sorry if this was mentioned). I have a friend who sometimes brings in lunch for her daughter's teacher. Nothing homemade, but maybe her favorite salad from a nearby restaurant or even a fast food place. The teachers seem to really enjoy it and it's a nice gesture even though the monetary cost isn't high.

Oooh! I second this! Last year during teacher appreciation, one of the moms did this for some co-workers of mine. She sent the menu in a few days ahead of time and told them to send back their order. The rest of us were SOOOOO jealous! At our school, we can't leave for lunch so most days we pack and this was a wonderful treat!

 

[Disneyaddict1973]

What I am about to say might be "too blunt" but I feel the need to say this.
I am a Teacher. Through my work, I try to open my student's minds, help them learn academics, instill a sense of value and morality, and show them that THEY really CAN change the world! That said, my Grandma (who raised me) told me that any gift is a thought, and anytime another has thought of you is a precious moment. I tell my "kids" the SAME thing. When we do a grab, (or I give out a SMALL gift to them) it would be horribly hurtful of any child to accept the gift (only to be polite), then go out to the hall and throw it away! I lead by example. Anything a parent has spent time choosing for me is a wonderful gift...COFFEE mugs and all I know many of my fellow teachers fell the same. Don't sweat it, your child's teacher will be thankful and happy to be apprciated no matter what you choose Happy Holidays!!!!!!!!!
Oh, and BTW we find MANY other uses for the coffee mugs, Marker/pencil holders, rubber band corrall, we grow grass seeds in them, I even put the dandelions the kids pick for me in them!

 

[hippiechicken]

That's not Texas, but your school district.

Tons of schools in TX allow homemade items and foods of minimal nutritional value are limited, but not banned. Birthdays, lunches and adults are exempt from that.

OT, sorry..
Texas' Policy can be found at squaremeals.org
Although birthdays are now exempt and adults have never been included, the state does have a policy on Foods of Minimal Nutritional Value not being served during the school day. School districts can add on to the policy, but not take away from it.
Penalties are given for non-compliance.

 

[Maddie2]

We don't spend a lot on teachers, but we do try to do something for all of the adults our elementary school-aged child comes in contact with. (Our middle schooler prefers not to give gifts as I guess not many do at his school - I guess being appreciative is no longer cool when you are in Middle School )

One year on Black Friday a local store had Hershey Pot-O-Gold boxes of chocolates, Buy 1/Get 1 Free; so it came out to around $4 each. I bought up a bunch and they were great for everyone -- female and male alike -- teachers, librarians, secretary, prinicipal, etc. (We usually add something a bit more to give to the main teacher). They can either eat the candy themselves or set them out at their own holiday celebrations. And, they don't have to figure out where to put it -- or dust it either! We gave them out to our neighbors too -- sure saved me mucho baking time!

This year I am doing a small gift basket -- cardboard baskets I got last year 75% off, candles & candleholders (Crate and Barrel bargain after Christmas last year) and a box of chocolate-covered Altoid mints (yum!). Pretty simple, but nice. I know they get a lot of candles, but these are different than what you see around here in the stores and I know they will like them.

I always make sure my children write out notes to give along with the gifts as well ~ usually in the form of a Thank You to the specific person and showing appreciation. It's nice to remember those ppl that don't get remembered as often -- ie: librarians, etc.

Just my 2 cents!

 

[akersten]

How much does the average middle class parent give a teacher in a gift card. The monetary amount. Thank you.

I give $20, but I think that is on the high end for my school. Give what you can afford or just a nice card. In this economy, I wouldn't worry about how much the gift card is.

 

[Donnainnj]

I thought the nutrition policy was national, not state mandated. I do think different schools/districts vary in how strict they are in following it. I would not believe about the home baked items either, since I have purchased them just last year in my younger daughters school, but this year my High school aged student said they can not home bake for fund raising. Don't know if it is a high school thing or a new district thing. I usually get gift cards for teachers, now with one in Middle School and one in High School, it will probably be for $5 each. I thought the Subway one would be a good idea, because they could get a sub with it, but DD high school said she didn't want to give the subway, not everyone likes subway, that's because she doesn't. I will probably get Dunkin Donuts again. They can buy coffee, smoothies, donuts, or even breakfast or lunch foods with it. I would love to do lunch specials from our local chinese restaurant (would stay in budget) but don't think all the teachers have the same lunch time, and I would worry about everything staying hot. I think I will ask my daughters to write letters expressing thanks to those teachers they thought special this year at the end of the year, don't want them to think they are kissing up.
Donna

 

[hippiechicken]

I give each teacher a $5 Starbucks card. DD had 10 teachers last year and I think only 9 this year.
I figure if there isn't a thing at Starbucks that they like, they can always re-gift it!

 

[IDoDis]

I am a single mom on a very tight budget. My little one gets special help from two different teachers and she has a student teacher. I don't know if its rude not to buy for all of them. I just simply can't buy for all of them so i am sticking to just their main teachers. I would like to acknowledge them in some way. I am sure that they understand people just can't afford to get too much. I know one is a Dunkin Donuts fanatic, but since we are on a budget do you think a $10.00 gift card is too cheap? I don't want my daughter's to be the only one in their class that doesn't give their teacher anything so we will give something, but it can't be much.

I understand your money being tight. However, as a special ed teacher that spends a couple of hours a day with each student, we often get overlooked. I've often felt left out or unappreciated this time of the year. I know how hard it is for parents to have to buy for "everyone" but I would have appreciated even a plate of cookies, just to show I'm appreciated. Those that only spend a short amount of time with your child, still work hard all day with many kids, but they often get looked over at gift-giving time. Your gift might be the only gift those other teachers/student teacher receives which may end up being appreciated way more than the teacher who receives 20 gifts. It doesn't have to be expensive. A candy bar with a thank you note would suffice.

Just something to think about.

 

[Imzadi]

I am a little upset by those posting that they throw out the mugs, ornaments, etc. Couldn't you give them away somewhere? Sell them on Ebay or Craigslist and donate the money or use it for school supplies for kids who cannot afford to bring them in? There has got to be something better than throwing them away.

And about the homemade treats - schools have a lot of bake sales and holiday parties. The same parents who send in the homemade treats for Christmas are the ones who bake for other events. Why would they be thrown away? If you are sick of eating treats, bring them to a church or food shelter. I am sure that they know of someone who would welcome the treats.

Don't know if this has been covered already, still reading through the 10+ pages.


These suggestions, at first, sound good but, what you are saying is the teacher, who already is overworked, underpaid, has to correct homework & tests at home, then has to also put in time to take pictures, list, wrap up the gifts with her own mailing supplies and bring them to the post office? That's like adding insult to injury.

As for food shelters & soup kitchens, perhaps people aren't aware of this, but many of them make the donators sign liability forms & waivers before accepting any open foods. They are very worried about lawsuits and with good reason.

A homeless person comes in, eats the food they hand out, gets sick. It is proven in the hospital that the food from the shelter made them sick, and suddenly, they can go from homeless to millionaires.

If the shelters didn't make the people/organizations donating sign liability forms, the shelter could be sued and shut down, unable to help the many who need it.

My cousin books waiters for one of the most prestigious, celebrity caterers in NYC. I used to work there. At the end of evenings, we'd have to throw out literally bags upon bags of good, fresh, edible food. I'm talking the size of those huge, black, lawn & leaf trash bags. The amount of wasted food was sickening. But the caterers wouldn't take the chance, because they have no guarantee (after signing a liability form,) of how once the food left their hands, that it was delivered properly, stored, or refrigerated properly and that they'd be the ones sued.

I can't see a teacher, who didn't make the food herself, or know the freshness, cleanliness or how the food was prepared could donate & sign one of those forms, verifying the food is fresh & taking responsibility for it.

It's just not worth it. This is a great thread to inform parents what to buy or give instead.

 

[Silly Little Pixie]

First, let me apologize if it seems I am attacking the OP. What I meant was that from the information in the first post it appears that most gifts given to teachers aren't appreciated, not that the OP herself doesn't apprecitate gifts.

Second I said that "I" felt lazy and thoughtless because to be honest with you a GC is something I give when I have no idea what to give someone and I don't want to invest much time thinking about it. I think giving GCs are less personal, IMO.

I'm a teacher and while I agree that GCs feel lazy to me when gift giving to my family, I think it is different with a teacher. Last year one of my students gave me a $10 gc to Panera Bread. I guess I looked really excited, and also quizzical (since I had just opened a succession of chocolates and mugs...), and he very excitedly said, "My mom said we should get you this because she saw you in there once so you must like it!" Indeed I do, and very much enjoyed the 2 lunches (okay, 1 and half) I had there courtesy of that GC. This parent was also a single mom, battling cancer. I most certainly didn't expect any sort of gift from them, but her thoughtfulness will always stick with me. To me a $5 GC is plenty if you choose to go that route. Anything a child gives me is always appreciated! Some are just more useful than others.

Like most other teachers here, I prefer either the handmade card, school supplies, or gift cards to Starbucks, (I am a notorious coffee drinker) Target, Walmart, etc. Over 12 years you have no idea how many mugs I have gotten! I have saved a few for pencil holders, and others are currently crowding my cupboard... but yeah, every few years I have to box them up and send them to Goodwill. Nobody buys them at yard sales. Even if I only got 5 mugs a year (plus, the Teacher Appreciation Week ones, and end of the year ones...), multiply that by even 5 years and you suddenly have 25 mugs in your cabinet!! I admit to feeling very guilty about giving them away. I do like lotions, but there is only so much I can use. Again, think about how many a teacher might get at each holiday and it quickly adds up. There is a basket overflowing in my bathroom right now, in fact.

Best gift I got last year was a fleece Dallas Cowboys throw! My whole family, including the Siamese cat, fight over who gets that on the couch!!

For my own kids, I generally give their teachers GCs to a restaurant they enjoy. I am sure to ask the other teachers at their grade level where "Mrs. B" likes to eat. We all enjoy a dinner out, especially at the holidays. This year since my daughter is in middle school and has 6 teachers, I think I will get each of them school supplies and a card from her. I also always gave the music teacher, etc a $5 GC and a card as well. I think those teachers are often overlooked, and I know they really appreciated it.

 

[Silly Little Pixie]

I think this is a broad exaggeration. There is nothing even close to this in our area (and I've checked with other teachers in other districts just to be sure before I've posted). To say that MOST schools do not allow homemade treats can't possibly be true. If you said SOME schools, It would give your thread more credibility.
I agree on the mugs & ornaments but I'd like to add teacher themed tote bags, notes pads & rubber stamps-seems to have been the hot item for me last year...

Where in California are you? I teach in Fontana, and let me tell you, the PP is right. No more homemade treats for parties, and those that are brought must meet nutritional guidelines. My district is not alone, all districts were supposed to develop guidelines. Per the USDA website:

Local Wellness Policy

Congress recognizes that schools play a critical role in promoting student health, preventing childhood obesity, and combating problems associated with poor nutrition and physical inactivity. To formalize and encourage this role, Congress passed a law (P.L. 108 - 265). Each local educational agency participating in a program authorized by the Richard B. Russell National School Lunch Act (42 U.S.C. 1751 et seq) or the Child Nutrition Act of 1966 (42 U.S.C. 1771 et seq) shall establish a local school wellness policy by School Year 2006."

I think my district is more strict than perhaps others, but if you look up the Wellness Policy stuff online you'll see it's supposed to be national.

 

[MKCP5]

I have read most of this post and have commented on it as it has moved along. Alothough I do not agree with everything that has been said, I think the fact to keep in mind is that a gift is for the pleasure of the recipient. Not for the pleasure of the giver. It doesn't matter what a great deal you got on it if it isn't suitable for the recipient. My mother in law has spent years buying me the oddest pieces of junk she finds at the dollar store and passing them off as gifts. She is a beautiful artist. I would cherish, frame and hang her work. Give me something from the heart..........a handwritten letter about my husband when he was a child, or in this case, a letter of appreciation to a teacher, it doesn't have to be a physical gift or have monetary value to be appreciated

 

[Imzadi]

I always read these threads with interest. Last year (or maybe it was the year before) I was flamed BIG TIME for even mentioning that I was thinking of making a donation to a charity in my child's teacher's name. In fact, one DISer posted that she was a teacher and a gift like that would become the talk of the teacher's lounge -- and not in a good way. I wanted to donate to a charity that teaches children in third world countries to read, and teaching reading was this particular teachers passion. For my other daughter's teacher, I was going to donate money towards a goat for a community in a third world country. (Animals and young children were her passion.) In the end, I got them a gift card. I didn't want my dds' gifts to them to be the talk of the teacher's lounge.

Don't worry about being the "talk". I would much rather have kids that did something for other kids versus other moms trying to keep up with the other mothers.

I work in a very poor district. Every one of my kids is on the poverty line, every one receives assistance of some kind.

While I applaud donating to charity on my behalf. This is where I'd have a problem with it. If I worked in a very poor district where the kids at the school are on the poverty line and someone donated a goat to a a third world country, than to the neighborhood school kids, that would be a problem for me.

Yes, I have compassion for third world countries, but we have children starving here too. I think if I was a teacher, I'd want to see the kids at my own school being helped. Tha'ts what I'm there for. To me, charity begins at home & in the home neighborhoods.

Also, I really don't like people picking charities on my behalf. If you know my charities, great, then by all means donate. But don't pick a goat or cow in another country & say it's from me.

 

[Nik's Mom]

I understand your money being tight. However, as a special ed teacher that spends a couple of hours a day with each student, we often get overlooked. I've often felt left out or unappreciated this time of the year. I know how hard it is for parents to have to buy for "everyone" but I would have appreciated even a plate of cookies, just to show I'm appreciated. Those that only spend a short amount of time with your child, still work hard all day with many kids, but they often get looked over at gift-giving time. Your gift might be the only gift those other teachers/student teacher receives which may end up being appreciated way more than the teacher who receives 20 gifts. It doesn't have to be expensive. A candy bar with a thank you note would suffice.

Just something to think about.

I appreciate your work! I am a mom of 2 autistic children, so I know all too well the hard work you have every day. I call my sons teachers and paras "miracle workers" for good reason! Thank you so much for working in such an important field! P.S. I was the one who said all of my sons teachers and paras were getting Vera Bradley handbags or totes. They are on clearance at the Vera Bradley website, so I only paid $20 each. I hope they like them.