Teachers involved with private conversations

[glitterkittyy]

You misunderstood. What I said was totally harmless! But the principal heard just bits and pieces WAY out of context, and took them to mean something detrimental. I honestly said nothing wrong! If she wasn't eavesdropping, she never would have misheard what was said.

Then she's just a bad boss with a big attitude. Sorry that happened to you.

 

[NikitaZee]

When I was in school, detention was a big deal. Not so much the sitting in class after school part, but because of how upset my parents would have been with me for getting it in the first place. If I had been overheard calling teachers 'jerks' and gotten detention for that, I would complain to my friends and expect to get sympathy for that - but never from my parents.

I'm with the camp that feels the punishment was appropriate.

 

[spaceacewannabe]

Excellent point. I'm sure I said all kinds of things about my teachers back in the day, but I was smart enough to be more discreet. Perhaps this will be a good lesson for him after all.

If you don't have anything nice to say....say it quietly.

I think the detention is extreme. I'd have let the kids know I heard, and usually a kid would say "oops, sorry, not you" or something...unless he expounded on it once called out, I wouldn't have punished...and really the detention is a punishment and not a consequence. I'd say the comment hit a little too close to home for that teacher!

That said, NO conversation between students is private at school and speech rights are restricted. These are not adults we're talking about here. Parents would be pretty steamed if something that offended their child was being said and no teachers were listening, kwim?

 

[Bluestars]

I think the detention was appropriate. I think he probably learned a good lesson. You need to be very careful of what you say and where you say it. That lesson will come in handy for the rest of his life.

 

[MM27]

In our school students get a 15 minute detention for saying "shut up" so you can bet that he would have gotten detention in our school!

I take away recess if kids in my classes say this to one another. Elementary teacher here, so the detention thing is not really an option. That is one of the rules I go over on the first day of school and I'm serious about it. Same thing for stupid and other similar insults.

 

[pearlieq]

So you're saying if your child overheard two of his/her teacher's saying "kids are jerks" you would tell your child not to "get their panties in a bunch because they don't like what was said. There are no threats being made, it is just a vent between two people?"

Again, it would depend on where they were. If they were in the mailroom, teacher lunchroom, or in their office and a kid passing by just happened to overhear, then no, I couldn't fault them for saying it.

But, if they were in the office, supervising lunch, or some other place where it was reasonable to think that a kid might overhear, it would be a problem.

It's the same for both the teachers and the kids.

 

[TwinsinCA]

But would you agree that perhaps, just maybe, the teachers should have had a conversation like this out of earshot of the kids. In the teacher's room maybe?

I think most teachers would be careful to keep any comments like that out of ear shot from the kids/the principal/parents/etc. I'm sure they wouldn't WANT kids to overhear any more than the OP's son wanted the teacher to overhear. But sometimes people sneak up on you and I would assume that would be the case in the hypothetical scenario you mentioned.

 

[pigletgirl]

Frankly, you need to respect your elders. There are always going to be people in authority who you aren't going to agree with the way they handle things. It could of been as simple as the way your son said it. He obviously said it in a way to get the teacher's attention. It may have been worthy of the detention.

And no, I don't think its wrong to speak to a student in private.....

 

[TwinsinCA]

For those of you who said detention was serious at your schools, what made it so? I am not being critical, just curious.

I've been out of high school over 20 years. I honestly don't remember how long detention lasted, when/where it was given, and what you were and were not allowed to do while there. I never went. And none of my friends did either that I can remember. I wish I could tell you what actions would get a detention vs. a suspension but I would be guessing.

All these years later I just remember there was a bit of a stigma attached to it. It was something that the "bad kids" got. I would have been beyond embarrassed to get into that kind of trouble. It wasn't given out for little things like talking in a study hall or telling someone to shut up. It was more along the lines of skipping classes, being defiant to a teacher, fighting -- things like that.

 

[ZachnElli]

I think the punishment was appropriate. I do not consider detention to be "extreme" or "harsh". It's just detention. Detention is a pain in the butt, but not a big deal. If I had said that and got detention for it, I would have gotten into more trouble at home because my dad was a high school teacher! Detention would have been nothing! The lecture from my dad would have been painful!!

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

I've been out of high school over 20 years. I honestly don't remember how long detention lasted, when/where it was given, and what you were and were not allowed to do while there. I never went. And none of my friends did either that I can remember. I wish I could tell you what actions would get a detention vs. a suspension but I would be guessing.

All these years later I just remember there was a bit of a stigma attached to it. It was something that the "bad kids" got. I would have been beyond embarrassed to get into that kind of trouble. It wasn't given out for little things like talking in a study hall or telling someone to shut up. It was more along the lines of skipping classes, being defiant to a teacher, fighting -- things like that.

Ours lasted an hour after school and we weren't allowed to do anything except wait for the hour to pass, except for once (I forgot that I did get one other detention for something other than being late in addition to the one I mentioned.) My whole class got in trouble for being in a food fight at lunch. We had to scrape gum off the tables on a Friday night. That was one that REALLY made me angry because two of us weren't involved in the food fight and I was one of the two. I didn't feel that I should be punished for an incident I didn't participate in....what made me even more upset was that my mom refused to stand up for me to the principal. If I had known at that point that I was paying my own tuition (from a trust fund that had been set up for me by my great-aunt), I would have gone to the principal and told her that I was doing so and that I was NOT going to serve detention for something I didn't do.

 

[ilovefh]

Again, it would depend on where they were. If they were in the mailroom, teacher lunchroom, or in their office and a kid passing by just happened to overhear, then no, I couldn't fault them for saying it.

But, if they were in the office, supervising lunch, or some other place where it was reasonable to think that a kid might overhear, it would be a problem.

It's the same for both the teachers and the kids.

I think most teachers would be careful to keep any comments like that out of ear shot from the kids/the principal/parents/etc. I'm sure they wouldn't WANT kids to overhear any more than the OP's son wanted the teacher to overhear. But sometimes people sneak up on you and I would assume that would be the case in the hypothetical scenario you mentioned.

And that is pretty much what I am saying. It is a lesson in where, when and in front of which people you can say things. Talking about "teachers" in earshot of a teacher is not appropriate, just as talking about students in earshot of a student is not appropriate. Hopefully the detention will send this message. Somehow I don't think a "hey guys, I heard what you said, watch it" warning would send the same message.

 

[mouseclick1]

I feel the detention was appropriate. I think many people (including adults) need to be more aware of what they say within earshot of others.

What if:

You were a parent and you overheard a teacher say to another teacher that parents are jerks?

You had a special education child, and your child overheard another student say that kids that go to the learning resource room are dumb?

You had a teenager working for MacDonalds, and he overheard a customer say to another that everyone that works for MacDonalds is an idiot?

Would any of these situations be excusable because the speaker was holding a private conversation?

While I don't think the OPs child committed a major offense, I do feel a detention is a reasonable consequence. He is now hopefully a bit more aware of what he says in the presence of others, and realizes that his words can and do affect those around him, whether or not that is his intention.

I have an 18 year old who said something pretty inappropriate to another student on the bus while he was in middle school, which led to a phone call home and a detention, which I fully supported. Nothing like that ever happened again during middle school OR high school.

 

[LargoLori]

Not only that, but the kid's English teacher should be fired as well

Now that is funny.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

teachers abusing their power over students is nothing new. they don't like to think that the students are also actual human beings with thoughts, themselves.

but then again i've always had issues with authority figures in general lol.

i had a somewhat similar experience with a teacher. in high school i had all kinds of hair colors and i wore a lot of black but i always got good grades and i worked and never did any drugs or partied and i remember during study hall one of my teachers coming up to me and asking me about drugs and alcohol and if i did any of those "sinful" things and how i shouldn't be doing them.....when i clearly told her i hadn't ever done those things.

so i went to the board of education about it but.....who would YOU believe? some girl with blue hair and black clothes, or the nice Christian teacher??

she turned it around to claim that it was a conversation we had during classtime and that everyone was involved and i was just "taking it too personally" and in the end i was the one punished for "lying"

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

I feel the detention was appropriate. I think many people (including adults) need to be more aware of what they say within earshot of others.

What if:

You were a parent and you overheard a teacher say to another teacher that parents are jerks?

You had a special education child, and your child overheard another student say that kids that go to the learning resource room are dumb?

You had a teenager working for MacDonalds, and he overheard a customer say to another that everyone that works for MacDonalds is an idiot?

Would any of these situations be excusable because the speaker was holding a private conversation?

While I don't think the OPs child committed a major offense, I do feel a detention is a reasonable consequence. He is now hopefully a bit more aware of what he says in the presence of others, and realizes that his words can and do affect those around him, whether or not that is his intention.

I have an 18 year old who said something pretty inappropriate to another student on the bus while he was in middle school, which led to a phone call home and a detention, which I fully supported. Nothing like that ever happened again during middle school OR high school.

these things happen. people say things and others overhear them saying it.

some parents ARE jerks, and kids are always calling other kids "dumb"

we really should bring back that saying "sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me" in this situation.

people say much worse things to each other than "teachers/parents are jerks" and "kids are dumb"

 

[travelbug]

While I don't think the OPs child committed a major offense, I do feel a detention is a reasonable consequence. He is now hopefully a bit more aware of what he says in the presence of others, and realizes that his words can and do affect those around him, whether or not that is his intention.

I agree.

 

[TwinsinCA]

Would any of these situations be excusable because the speaker was holding a private conversation?

Yes.

I think it is worse to listen in on someone else's conversation than it is to vent to a friend. Two of the three scenarios wouldn't even register as being mean or offensive in any way. The one about the child would likely hurt them. But it is still a private conversation and some of those aren't pretty.

 

[mrsklamc]

I am the first one to get upset when I hear a story about a kid getting in trouble for, say, posting something on facebook about the principal. Not on school time or grounds = none of their business.

But, I think an argument could be made that a student should not consider any conversation on school grounds/time to not really be 'private.' I assume the comment was made where it could be reasonably overheard? I doubt the teacher was standing on top of a toilet seat in the bathroom, hiding to see what he could 'catch' a kid saying?

 

[ckay87]

Hey, I'm back. I'm not bent out of shape about the detention or punishment at all. Doesn't hurt this kid to be reminded that other people have ears too. I do not agree that what he said, in itself, was bad. Honestly, if I were a teacher and I heard that, I wouldn't even blink. Am I crazy? I'd fully expect that kids would think and say that every now and then. In fact, I expect that my kids say that about ME behind my back. Just comes with the territory of being "the boss". I don't particularly care as long as they are not saying it TO my face.