Teachers involved with private conversations

[shirleyb]

I'm kind of on the fence about this, since I don't see the punishment as being that severe. I'd let it lie, and not have any consequences at home. Let his only punishment be the detention.

 

[C.Ann]

Disrespectful? Yes..

Worthy of detention? I don't know.. Has he said it before? Was he talking about the teacher that overheard him? Was that the whole content of the conversation? I guess I would have to have more info in order to weigh in on one side or the other..

He definitely would have been punished at home though..

 

[turkeymama]

I think its fine that he got detention, and I am frankly shocked at anyone who would think its not okay. Everyone needs to learn the consequences for their actions. Its not okay to say out loud every thought that passes through your mind. Its not okay to say things to people in authority. You cant call a policeman a jerk. Your boss, your mother etc..... Call the wrong person a jerk and you might find yourself the victim of assault. (not right but it could happen).

I don't necessarily think that what he said was okay. I was just thinking that based on circumstances, the detention seemed a little extreme. Of course, my DD did call a teacher a jerk and I don't think she got in enough trouble. Her circumstances were slightly different though.

I guess I'm torn on this one since it seems to have taken place out of the classroom and the comment seemed to be of a general nature. I agree with the general theme of your post though.

 

[daisyduck123]

Public school teacher chiming in here

I absolutely agree with the detention.

What if the situation had been reversed & your DS had overheard one teacher to another teacher (in a private conversation) call your DS a "jerk"? I can bet you would be calling the teacher/school on that one, without a doubt.

 

[glitterkittyy]

Some schools have a zero tolerance policy for name calling. Maybe this school has one?

 

[nuttylawprofessor]

A detention is completely appropriate. As a few PPs have pointed out, what would happen if you referred to your boss as a jerk?

Let me put it to you this way, if I call someone a jerk on this board, I may receive anywhere from 30-60 points. At 40 points I'd lose some board privileges. At 60 points I would have a 10 day ban. Sounds an awful lot like a detention.

 

[FSUDisneyGirl]

Agreed with some other posters...if the situation was opposite, I bet you (and most parents) would be upset about teachers saying something like that about your kid...and that they got "reprimanded" about it.

Now, some could say that it's not the same...kids are not "professionals," they are still learning. I agree that they are still learning...but if they are allowed to call others "jerks" at any time(teachers, friends, I don't care who), what are they learning? Instead of calling a teacher a "jerk," talk to your kid about the "jerk." What teacher is he talking about? Why does he think they are a jerk? I think that is what you need to address. Either the kid will have a valid reason (ex. he heard the teacher saying something rude about him) and you can address it with the teacher or principal, or your kid's point is invalid (ex. he is mad that the teacher gives homework) and you can talk to him about how the teacher's job is to ensure that they learn their subject and are successful. A kid calling a teacher a "jerk" because he/she is just doing their job is just disrespectful and rude, and should definitely be addressed.

 

[Planogirl]

DS had better not ever call his teachers jerks where they can hear him. If so, I'll be totally in favor of detention.

 

[kangareaux]

No advice, but I can sympathize. I don't think the comment was worthy of detention. That seems a little extreme given the circumstances of the comment.

I disagree. If nothing else, it's a lesson in when and where you should and shouldn't open your mouth. Be careful what you do and say, because everything has a consequence.

Seriously, if someone got caught by their employer saying "My boss is a jerk" I'm betting they wouldn't be employed long.

 

[cheermom1]

Public school teacher chiming in here

I absolutely agree with the detention.

What if the situation had been reversed & your DS had overheard one teacher to another teacher (in a private conversation) call your DS a "jerk"? I can bet you would be calling the teacher/school on that one, without a doubt.

I understand where you are coming from but at the same time this is a child who is learning what is appropriate and is not. you are an adult and should by this point know that it would not be appropriate to call a child a jerk...plus this was the first time he did this.

we teach by telling the kids what is expected and then we "remind" them first with a verbal warring and a call to their parents - the second time is to call their parents and tell them ok this is the second time he has been caught and we need a different punishment detention at this point...

the first offense I do not see the reason for detention sorry I just don;t not for a kid ...

like I said I understand the concept of what others are saying about what if this was at work and your boss overheard you say he is a jerk, that is something you tell your kids to get the point across especially the first time there were caught..

you let them know that the behavior was wrong and why then if they do it again then yes step up the punishment..how are the kids going to know if it is right or wrong if we don't tell them first?

and as I said this is a reason for him to think teachers are jerks in his own mind...not the mess I would want my kid to have...

 

[turkeymama]

I disagree. If nothing else, it's a lesson in when and where you should and shouldn't open your mouth. Be careful what you do and say, because everything has a consequence.

Seriously, if someone got caught by their employer saying "My boss is a jerk" I'm betting they wouldn't be employed long.

I definitely agree with that.

 

[daisyduck123]

I understand where you are coming from but at the same time this is a child who is learning what is appropriate and is not. you are an adult and should by this point know that it would not be appropriate to call a child a jerk...plus this was the first time he did this.

we teach by telling the kids what is expected and then we "remind" them first with a verbal warring and a call to their parents - the second time is to call their parents and tell them ok this is the second time he has been caught and we need a different punishment detention at this point...

the first offense I do not see the reason for detention sorry I just don;t not for a kid ...

like I said I understand the concept of what others are saying about what if this was at work and your boss overheard you say he is a jerk, that is something you tell your kids to get the point across especially the first time there were caught..

you let them know that the behavior was wrong and why then if they do it again then yes step up the punishment..how are the kids going to know if it is right or wrong if we don't tell them first?

and as I said this is a reason for him to think teachers are jerks in his own mind...not the mess I would want my kid to have...

OH come on here....this kid is at least in Middle School (according to the OP's statement). You don't think that by this age the kids know what is appropriate & what is not? Every 1st grade class goes over this.

My 1st grade students absolutely know what is appropriate & what is not. If I were to hear those words out of a 1st graders mouth...there would be some loss of recess as well as a note/call home.

 

[michellev]

I understand where you are coming from but at the same time this is a child who is learning what is appropriate and is not. you are an adult and should by this point know that it would not be appropriate to call a child a jerk...plus this was the first time he did this.

we teach by telling the kids what is expected and then we "remind" them first with a verbal warring and a call to their parents - the second time is to call their parents and tell them ok this is the second time he has been caught and we need a different punishment detention at this point...

the first offense I do not see the reason for detention sorry I just don;t not for a kid ...

like I said I understand the concept of what others are saying about what if this was at work and your boss overheard you say he is a jerk, that is something you tell your kids to get the point across especially the first time there were caught..

you let them know that the behavior was wrong and why then if they do it again then yes step up the punishment..how are the kids going to know if it is right or wrong if we don't tell them first?

and as I said this is a reason for him to think teachers are jerks in his own mind...not the mess I would want my kid to have...

We aren't talking about a 4 year old here, older kids certainly know it is not appropriate to call teachers jerks. Detention certainly isn't the end of the world, it's not like the kid is being expelled for this! I think it's a fair and reasonable punishment.

 

[luvmy3]

I think detention is a bit extreme for an overheard conversation. However, if he was talking directly to the teacher and calling him/her a jerk then yes he should get detention.

 

[cheermom1]

well I just asked EVERY single person i know about this and they all agree that detention is too harsh!!!

 

[Magic Mom]

well I just asked EVERY single person i know about this and they all agree that detention is too harsh!!!

Really? You're joking, right?

 

[daisyduck123]

well I just asked EVERY single person i know about this and they all agree that detention is too harsh!!!

I would hope though, that if you ever encounter a situation similar to this in your own family, that you would not say anything or give the teacher a hard time about the punishment.

This is one example of why it is so hard to teach nowadays. So many parents think they know more than the parents about how to discipline in a classroom.

Just a reminder that this was not a little kid, but a middle schooler or high schooler who definitely knows better.

 

[michellev]

well I just asked EVERY single person i know about this and they all agree that detention is too harsh!!!

Wow, that was fast! How many people do you know? lol

I'm a high school teacher, most of my friends are teachers, I'm fairly confident they would vote "detention" if asked.

If a student called me a jerk to my face - it would likely mean a 1 day suspension.

 

[cheermom1]

I would hope though, that if you ever encounter a situation similar to this in your own family, that you would not say anything or give the teacher a hard time about the punishment.

This is one example of why it is so hard to teach nowadays. So many parents think they know more than the parents about how to discipline in a classroom.

Just a reminder that this was not a little kid, but a middle schooler or high schooler who definitely knows better.

Sorry But i expect a call for the first offense period!!! the second I can see detention but not the first...
\
ETA: it's not like this anything physical or abusive or threatening - this was a kid that let a little steam off and just should have been warned....where is common since going????/

 

[happygirl]

Wow, that was fast! How many people do you know? lol

I'm a high school teacher, most of my friends are teachers, I'm fairly confident they would vote "detention" if asked.

If a student called me a jerk to my face - it would likely mean a 1 day suspension.

Can teacher suspend students? I always up the princpal