Super Goofs: I do hope you know all of us trash talkers really do think the world of you. None of it is meant seriously or personally, even though it's become obvious that it's taken that way. I'll make an extra-special effort not to trash-talk your team, because I really do want the best for all of you.
Lisa: I do hope you're feeling better, physically and otherwise. Do know that I think what you're with the team and the challenges are great. I wouldn't have found my yoga class without your challenge! And the Great Bay Super Goofs meet is a wonderful thing.
Kristi: I respect whatever decision you make about the teams. I certainly want you to be in a situation that works for you. But please know that the trash-talking, from my perspective (and I think it's true for all of us who do it) comes from a point of encouragement & support, strange as that sounds.
I don't know if this helps any, but speaking for myself, trash talking is a form of social bonding. It's inclusive and not exclusive. I was raised in a family where teasing was a sign of affection. Where I call home, "playing the dozens" is respected. And the more you are teased and the more you tease back, the more you are seen as part of the group. For better and for worse, I bring that perspective into other social groups. So I don't see the trash-talk as destroying the WISH team but bringing us together.
I remember in college when one of my friends introduced his new girlfriend to our circle. We teased her mercilessly--about her taste in men, music, clothes, alcohol, and eventually about hanging out with us. At first, she was taken aback, but was soon giving it back as good as she got it. After a particularly good zinger, someone in the group said something to the effect of, "Aww, teasing you is our way of showing you that we like you." Another friend's new girlfriend replied "But you never tease
me?" And we were all silent, because....
What I guess I'm saying is that we tease and trash-talk because
we like you, we really do. It may seem juvenile but for some of us it's a natural expression of our affection. Where we sometimes mess up--where I mess up--is not always recognizing that not everyone communicates in this way. It's easy for me to forget that not everyone sees playing the dozens as a positive thing, just as it's easy to misunderstand the intention of the tease.
In the end, it does no good if I meant trash-talking as a form of bonding if you didn't receive it that way. The trash-talking game is a two-way street, and if you're not playing I can't be playing with you. So I'll be keeping my snarkiness off your team thread and I apologize profusely to anyone I've hurt or offended.
