Steubenville OH case, anyone hear of this?

[LongLiveDisney]

Yes exactly. You drink to the point where you pass out cold, your putting yourself at risk! Stupid thing to do! You dont think anything bad will happen to you? Really?...... Do you desrve it? Hells no! But this world is filled with a lot of wackos. So your an idiot for putting yourself in danger.

That's all I meant.

 

[LongLiveDisney]

I. Can't. Even.

Some close to me was raped. It was winter. She was wearing jeans, boots, a sweater and a winter jacket when he grabbed her. She was walking home from her train, to her apartment. It was about 6:15pm. Winter so pretty dark out even on a well lit street in a busy city neighborhood. She was grabbed less than 100 yards from the train station and less than 50 yards from home. Drugged and when that didn't subdue her, she was beaten unconscious.

Say again that she was a tramp risking something happening to her...in general, I mean.

I didn't say EVERY victim of rape is asking for it. ALL I MEANT was in this sick world, when girls KNOW there's sick guys out there, they should not put themselves in the possible way of harm. In your friend's case, she did nothing wrong, and she was a victim just as much as the girl in the Steubenville case. I DO feel bad for rape victims. It's a terrible crime. Don't put words in my mouth please. I never said that everyone who gets raped is a tramp, nor do I think that rape victims deserve it, to whoever said that to me.

 

[Uncle Remus]

I can't believe some people still think like this! No matter what you are wearing (or not wearing) you are NOT asking for it! This mentality implies that men have no brains and cannot think for themselves and once they become attracted to someone they have no choice. Men are not slaves to their sexual urges. The "blame the victim" mentality so many people have makes me sick. I can't believe we still have to teach girls how to not get raped. So sad.

Well said!

 

[Social Worker Sue]

We also are doing a poor job in society teaching women already sexually active in a relationship that they still can say no.

This.

Some people would be very surprised to know the number of women who are raped by their husbands

There are so many abusive marriages going on behind closed doors.

 

[lovemygoofy]

I didn't say EVERY victim of rape is asking for it. ALL I MEANT was in this sick world, when girls KNOW there's sick guys out there, they should not put themselves in the possible way of harm. In your friend's case, she did nothing wrong, and she was a victim just as much as the girl in the Steubenville case. I DO feel bad for rape victims. It's a terrible crime. Don't put words in my mouth please. I never said that everyone who gets raped is a tramp, nor do I think that rape victims deserve it, to whoever said that to me.

I don't care what kind of person someone is but I promise no one deserves to be raped. Being sexually active "tramp" or walking buttass naked on the street wearing a sign that says look at me does not mean that person should be raped. There is NEVER a rationale for rape.

I was date raped at 21. I had been dating a guy for about 2 weeks and we had not ever had sex. We fell asleep together while watching movies. I woke up to him ripping my underpants off. Trust me, this story or some version happens THOUSANDS of times a day all over college campuses. I could have been asleep naked in his bed and that is not an invitation.

I had a fellow army spouse kill herself last year. Her husband "shared" her with someone else while she was asleep. That is rape plain and simple.

No one no matter what deserves to be violated.

 

[chobie]

I didn't say EVERY victim of rape is asking for it. ALL I MEANT was in this sick world, when girls KNOW there's sick guys out there, they should not put themselves in the possible way of harm. In your friend's case, she did nothing wrong, and she was a victim just as much as the girl in the Steubenville case. I DO feel bad for rape victims. It's a terrible crime. Don't put words in my mouth please. I never said that everyone who gets raped is a tramp, nor do I think that rape victims deserve it, to whoever said that to me.

Just SOME rape victims are tramps and deserve to be raped? That doesn't make me feel any better.

Even a prostitute can be a victim of rape.

 

[nathalee81]

Excuse me, do not put words in my mouth. Go back and read what I wrote. I said she did not deserve that, nobody does. Period. But i hope that she is careful in the future and not put herself in danger like that again. Reality is, this sort of thing isnt unusual. It happens all the time. You have to take care of yourself cause nobody else might!



Come on, Its not the same thing. You drink to the point where your passed out cold, you have no control over what happens to you while passed out.

Seeing someone in danger is different, you have the choice to put youself at risk and help them...or you can walk away and call 911 from your cell. Different! Some ppl work at night....you have no choice but to walk at night alone. What a stupid comparison!

All im saying is that you have to be careful. This can happen to anyone.

You totally missed my point. In any situation, you could blame the woman for some kind of behavior that led to her getting assaulted. But the fact is it is NEVER her fault. NEVER.

I think it is awful that people still have the mentality about sexual assault. Sorry, I think it is backwards and, really, a little sad.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Not to say the boys, plus others, are not guilty, but after reading about the girl, and the lies she has told in the past, and also being so drunk at other times, she should bear some responsibility also. Her parents also can not be totally unaware of their daughter's lies and reputation. I have had a teen age dau. and you may not know *everything* they do, but we did keep pretty close tabs on her and knew her friends.

The way the parents are acting, their dau. was lily white and pure, and she just wants to get on with her life. What life? The kind she has been leading? If so, the scene can well be put in place for another disaster of sorts to happen to her. She also needs to learn a lesson from this.

I agree with this. Every word.

Excuse me, do not put words in my mouth. Go back and read what I wrote. I said she did not deserve that, nobody does. Period. But i hope that she is careful in the future and not put herself in danger like that again. Reality is, this sort of thing isnt unusual. It happens all the time. You have to take care of yourself cause nobody else might!

Excuse me! you said you agree with everything North of Mouse wrote.
That poster wrote the victim deserved to bear some of the responsibility for her rape.
The victim lied and led a questionable life so hopefully she learns a lesson from this rape.

And what lesson would that be? Since there it is, you agreed with the poster.

 

[nathalee81]

I. Can't. Even.

Some close to me was raped. It was winter. She was wearing jeans, boots, a sweater and a winter jacket when he grabbed her. She was walking home from her train, to her apartment. It was about 6:15pm. Winter so pretty dark out even on a well lit street in a busy city neighborhood. She was grabbed less than 100 yards from the train station and less than 50 yards from home. Drugged and when that didn't subdue her, she was beaten unconscious.

Say again that she was a tramp risking something happening to her...in general, I mean.

I am so sorry this happened to your friend...

I don't care what kind of person someone is but I promise no one deserves to be raped. Being sexually active "tramp" or walking buttass naked on the street wearing a sign that says look at me does not mean that person should be raped. There is NEVER a rationale for rape.

I was date raped at 21. I had been dating a guy for about 2 weeks and we had not ever had sex. We fell asleep together while watching movies. I woke up to him ripping my underpants off. Trust me, this story or some version happens THOUSANDS of times a day all over college campuses. I could have been asleep naked in his bed and that is not an invitation.

I had a fellow army spouse kill herself last year. Her husband "shared" her with someone else while she was asleep. That is rape plain and simple.

No one no matter what deserves to be violated.

Hugs to you-thank you for sharing your story. I know that must be difficult.

 

[Social Worker Sue]

Even a prostitute can be a victim of rape.

That is very true!

I will say, that while we teach our daughters that, of course, nobody deserves to be raped. We must teach them that there are animals out there.

We must teach our girls to stick together. If one girl leaves with an animal, they do not let her go alone. We must teach our girls to back off when an animal starts to prowl.

I know it is not politically correct to say this, but we have not changed the mindset of many men. Wearing a skirt that shows a crotch to a party is like wearing a belt of steaks in a lion's den to many of these animals.

Until we take care of the pigs, we have to teach our girls that it may not be the best idea to wear a shirt that says: "*bleep* me, I'm Irish" while drinking to the point of passing out.

Yes. I saw this shirt at a St. Patrick's Day party this w/end. I would not let this girl out of my sight. She got to the point where she could not keep her eyes open. All I could think of was that an equally drunk man would take that shirt as an invitation. It was a relief to see two sober girls gather her and take her out of there. Stick together girls!

Again, it is not politically correct to suggest you cover your butt cheeks. We all know that nobody deserves to be raped. We are mentally sound. But, until some animals get a clue, we can teach our girls to be vigilant.

 

[lovemygoofy]

That is very true!

I will say, that while we teach our daughters that, of course, nobody deserves to be raped. We must teach them that there are animals out there.

We must teach our girls to stick together. If one girl leaves with an animal, they do not let her go alone. We must teach our girls to back off when an animal starts to prowl.

I know it is not politically correct to say this, but we have not changed the mindset of many men. Wearing a skirt that shows a crotch to a party is like wearing a belt of steaks in a lion's den to many of these animals.

Until we take care of the pigs, we have to teach our girls that it may not be the best idea to wear a shirt that says: "*bleep* me, I'm Irish" while drinking to the point of passing out.

Yes. I saw this shirt at a St. Patrick's Day party this w/end. I would not let this girl out of my sight. She got to the point where she could not keep her eyes open. All I could think of was that an equally drunk man would take that shirt as an invitation. It was a relief to see two sober girls gather her and take her out of there. Stick together girls!

Again, it is not politically correct to suggest you cover your butt cheeks. We all know that nobody deserves to be raped. We are mentally sound. But, until some animals get a clue, we can teach our girls to be vigilant.

We also need to talk until we are deaf to our young men. So many don't understand that being drunk to the point of not having a clue isn't permission. This case is proof that we aren't teaching what violation is even if just includes "taking a peek." Yes, I preach to female soldiers to be wary and take care but in my next breath I'm preaching to male soldiers that unless he hears the word YES then he needs to automtically think NO.

 

[Social Worker Sue]

We also need to talk until we are deaf to our young men.

Oh yes. Yes! Yes! But, some of them will never listen. When I say animals, I mean it. It is disgusting.

It's like walking down a street, counting a wad of money. STEALING is wrong. We teach people this. But there are awful people out there that feel they can take what they want. We will never change those bad, bad people. So, we teach our daughters to hide their money. Don't whip it out and show everyone. Don't count it in public. Nobody ever deserves to be robbed. But, we will never stop it. We can only try our best to curb it.

But somehow, it is not politically correct to teach our daughters that having their butt cheeks stick out of their mini skirt may attract a very bad type of person. That showing our breasts right to the legal limit may tell an animal you are welcoming him. Nobody ever, ever deserves to be raped. That is the bottom line. Sadly, the animals that need to learn that will never change. Never.

 

[TinkerBelled]

Oh, for heaven's sake! Tramps? Really?

Let's be clear about this logic. The logic goes like this: wearing certain clothing indicates that you are sexually available. If you indicate that you are sexually available, you can't be upset if you get raped.

Nonsense.

I could have sex with men twice a day, every day, for a year. If on the 366th day, I decide that I don't want to have sex no one has the right to force me to do it.

Do you know why rape is so underreported? Why so many rapes go unprosecuted and so many rapists go free? One, because most rapists are known to their victim. 80% of rapists are friends, family, or acquaintances of the victim. It's far, far more difficult to accuse someone you know, someone your friends know, someone your family knows.

And two? Because we still have this appalling and ridiculous notion that somehow the rape victim was asking for it. So a rape victim gets to get called a tramp, have her sexual virtue dragged into the public eye and discussed, and get violated all over again.

You might well believe that 'pure' women don't deserve to get raped but that tramps are kind of asking for it. But if you do, you are part of the problem. You are helping to create the rape culture that teaches these boys that if a girl flirts with you and drinks too much, it's okay to use her as an object, because, after all, she's not the kind of girl you have to treat well. You're subscribing to just the kind of dehumanizing dichotomy that rapists use to excuse their actions.

 

[christineann]

I would think that more arrests would be justified - accessory to the crime and accessory after the fact.

It is so disturbing to see so many young people with little or no empathy for each other. My son is a young police officer, just 6 years out of college, and he gets many calls from bartenders and bouncers to help them with a young person (college age usually) who is passed out in the bar and has been left by friends at the bar or even outside the bar. Some of these are males, but many are females. Sometimes he has to call EMS if they are in danger of alcohol poisoning. Don't people care about each other?

What I see in the video - the joking about violence against this young girl is sickening. The kids in those videos need some serious counseling and some kind of intervention through the judicial system if appropriate. I fear what kind of adults they will become based on the kind of individuals they are now.

 

[goofyintoronto]

Excuse me! you said you agree with everything North of Mouse wrote.
That poster wrote the victim deserved to bear some of the responsibility for her rape.
The victim lied and led a questionable life so hopefully she learns a lesson from this rape.

And what lesson would that be? Since there it is, you agreed with the poster.

Ok fair enough. I can see my message came across wrong. But as I said in my previous posts, NO she did not deserve it, nobody does. Im a woman for petesake! Why would I say or even think such a thing? But as a woman, I never have in my life put myself in harms way like that, as a teen or adult, drunk and passed out, because im very well aware of the dangers that are out there. My parents drilled it into my brain as a very young girl. I know what some ppl are capable of.

 

[Social Worker Sue]

Sometimes he has to call EMS if they are in danger of alcohol poisoning. Don't people care about each other?

The sad part is that they are all drunk. They are all making poor decisions. So, when their friend is to the point of being very ill, nobody is capable of helping. Everyone is oblivious

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Ok fair enough. I can see my message came across wrong. But as I said in my previous posts, NO she did not deserve it, nobody does. Im a woman for petesake! Why would I say or even think such a thing? But as a woman, I never have in my life put myself in harms way like that, as a teen or adult, because im very well aware of the dangers that are out there. My parents drilled it into my brain as a very young girl. I know what some ppl are capable of.

I think why I take it so personal is because I was very stupid growing up and even at times as an adult. It was drilled into my head too, unfortunately I didn't listen.
Everytime, I either had friends who stepped up or boys and or men who were "stand up" enough not to take advantage.

I look at my young daughter and teenage son and hope and pray my DD is not the dumb idiot I was and my DS is respectful of woman , no matter how they act or what they wear.

I was very very lucky. I look at that poor young girl and think that easily could have been me.

 

[nathalee81]

Ok fair enough. I can see my message came across wrong. But as I said in my previous posts, NO she did not deserve it, nobody does. Im a woman for petesake! Why would I say or even think such a thing? But as a woman, I never have in my life put myself in harms way like that, as a teen or adult, drunk and passed out, because im very well aware of the dangers that are out there. My parents drilled it into my brain as a very young girl. I know what some ppl are capable of.

And, there it is. Someone up the thread mentioned this-it can't happen to me because I would never put myself in that kind of situation.

But, guess what? Rapes happen every day to women who know self defense, who are sober, who are walking around in broad daylight who have themselves fully covered-they are just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

 

[Mickey Fliers]

Sure, sure...teach our girl's not to get raped.

How about we teach our men NOT TO RAPE!!!!

Blaming the victim is, and always has been, sick and twisted. The only blame in this and every rape case lies squarely on the RAPIST.

 

[Uncle Remus]

Sure, sure...teach our girl's not to get raped.

How about we teach our men NOT TO RAPE!!!!

Blaming the victim is, and always has been, sick and twisted. The only blame in this and every rape case lies squarely on the RAPIST.

You nailed that!