Steubenville OH case, anyone hear of this?

[goofyintoronto]

Yes true. It can happen to anyone. I have a son, all I can do is drill it in his brain like my parents did with me. All you can do is preach and hope they make the right decision.

I think why I take it so personal is because I was very stupid growing up and even at times as an adult. It was drilled into my head too, unfortunately I didn't listen.
Everytime, I either had friends who stepped up or boys and or men who were "stand up" enough not to take advantage.

I look at my young daughter and teenage son and hope and pray my DD is not the dumb idiot I was and my DS is respectful of woman , no matter how they act or what they wear.

I was very very lucky. I look at that poor young girl and think that easily could have been me.

Yup, I would NOT put myself in a situation where im passed out drunk. Not gonna happen. EVER. Can someone spike my drink with a roofie and take advantage of me like they did with that girl?? Oh heck ya. Thats a different situation. All im saying is, I wont allow myself to drink to the point where I dont know what im doing/where im not in control. Surely that makes sense, doesnt it?

And, there it is. Someone up the thread mentioned this-it can't happen to me because I would never put myself in that kind of situation.

But, guess what? Rapes happen every day to women who know self defense, who are sober, who are walking around in broad daylight who have themselves fully covered-they are just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

 

[LongLiveDisney]

Just SOME rape victims are tramps and deserve to be raped? That doesn't make me feel any better.

Even a prostitute can be a victim of rape.

Okay, and where did I say that the victims deserve to be raped?

 

[nathalee81]

Yes true. It can happen to anyone. I have a son, all I can do is drill it in his brain like my parents did with me. All you can do is preach and hope they make the right decision.




Yup, I would NOT put myself in a situation where im passed out drunk. Not gonna happen. EVER. Can someone spike my drink with a roofie and take advantage of me like they did with that girl?? Oh heck ya. Thats a different situation. All im saying is, I wont allow myself to drink to the point where I dont know what im doing/where im not in control. Surely that makes sense, doesnt it?

You just don't get it. And, I don't think you will.

By making her behavior the excuse of her rape (i.e-if she wasn't drunk this wouldn't have happened), you are blaming the victim. By blaming the victim you are excusing the behavior of these boys. And, nothing, I repeat, NOTHING excuses sexual assault.

 

[chobie]

Okay, and where did I say that the victims deserve to be raped?

You said that not every victim deserved to be raped, which implies that you think some do.

 

[AC7179]

It's kind of like any kind of violent crime. Nobody DESERVES to be raped, but if there's anything one can do to prevent, I'm going to teach my daughters to so that. I'm not blaming those who don't, but I want mine to be as prepared as possible to keep herself safe.


It's like those who don't get immunizations do not deserve to get sick, but I'm going to make sure mine have them to increase her odds of staying healthy.

I

 

[MapleGirl]

I am disgusted by this crime and those who perpetrated it. This includes everyone who was there and didn't call the police, those that laughed about it afterwards and those that are continuing to make this young lady's life hard.

 

[LongLiveDisney]

You said that not every victim deserved to be raped, which implies that you think some do.

No, I said not every victim is "asking for it." That probably wasn't the best phrase to use.

 

[christineann]

Given the attitudes of the perpetrators, I'm not so sure the girl would have been safe around them even if she had been sober. I believe the fact that she was drunk is not as big a factor as many are making it out to be.

 

[brockash]

Okay, and where did I say that the victims deserve to be raped?

I didn't say EVERY victim of rape is asking for it. ALL I MEANT was in this sick world, when girls KNOW there's sick guys out there, they should not put themselves in the possible way of harm. In your friend's case, she did nothing wrong, and she was a victim just as much as the girl in the Steubenville case. I DO feel bad for rape victims. It's a terrible crime. Don't put words in my mouth please. I never said that everyone who gets raped is a tramp, nor do I think that rape victims deserve it, to whoever said that to me.

As a pp explained, by you saying that "I didn't say EVERY victim of rape is asking for it," it implies that you do believe some rape victims DO ASK for it???? Wow, just wow.

That's not what I meant. I'm saying that girls shouldn't put themselves at risk in this sick world. These girls KNOW that there's some crazy men out there. If they dress very provocatively and then put themselves at risk by drinking and drinking and drinking, there is a chance that something bad is going to happen to them.

What happened was despicable, but I do think if you look like a hooker, you're just asking for trouble. Sorry, but that's what I think. It doesn't excuse what the boys did, but if girls don't want to risk anything happening, don't walk around looking like a tramp. This is just general.

Perhaps an editor or at least a review of things you type before you post would be beneficial. It seems that most of what you have posted in this thread has been in your words "taken the wrong way," yet it is basically what you said or at the very least implied. You seem to have a very sick mindset in regards to rape victims and violations of basic human rights...yes people, even women who walk around looking like "hookers" have them.

 

[LongLiveDisney]

As a pp explained, by you saying that "I didn't say EVERY victim of rape is asking for it," it implies that you do believe some rape victims DO ASK for it???? Wow, just wow.

Perhaps an editor or at least a review of things you type before you post would be beneficial. It seems that most of what you have posted in this thread has been in your words "taken the wrong way," yet it is basically what you said or at the very least implied. You seem to have a very sick mindset in regards to rape victims and violations of basic human rights...yes people, even women who walk around looking like "hookers" have them.

I don't have a "sick mindset." I'm not saying I have no sympathy for rape victims, that they deserve to be raped, that they don't have human rights, none of that. You're reading way too much into what I said.

 

[goofyintoronto]

You just don't get it. And, I don't think you will.

By making her behavior the excuse of her rape (i.e-if she wasn't drunk this wouldn't have happened), you are blaming the victim. By blaming the victim you are excusing the behavior of these boys. And, nothing, I repeat, NOTHING excuses sexual assault.

Your right, I dont get it. I totally get what your saying, but im not trying to excuse the boys behaviour at all. Clearly theyre wrong. I said that many times. I still think women need to be careful and avoid situations like that (drinking to the point of passing out cold) when they can. You cant control everything...but some things you can.

 

[Mickey Fliers]

It's kind of like any kind of violent crime. Nobody DESERVES to be raped, but if there's anything one can do to prevent, I'm going to teach my daughters to so that. I'm not blaming those who don't, but I want mine to be as prepared as possible to keep herself safe.


It's like those who don't get immunizations do not deserve to get sick, but I'm going to make sure mine have them to increase her odds of staying healthy.

I

By all means, teach your children to be safe. We all do. However, you analogy doesn't work. A consequence of not being immunized is getting sick.

A consequence for getting drunk/wearing a short skirt/showing cleavage/going out to a club...should NEVER BE RAPE. Rape is not a consequence of actions on the part of the victim. It is a FELONY on the part of the perpetrator.

 

[LongLiveDisney]

Your right, I dont get it. I totally get what your saying, but im not trying to excuse the boys behaviour at all. Clearly theyre wrong. I said that many times. I still think women need to be careful and avoid situations like that (drinking to the point of passing out cold) when they can. You cant control everything...but some things you can.

There's my point exactly, goofyintoronto.

 

[goofyintoronto]

It's kind of like any kind of violent crime. Nobody DESERVES to be raped, but if there's anything one can do to prevent, I'm going to teach my daughters to so that. I'm not blaming those who don't, but I want mine to be as prepared as possible to keep herself safe.

It's like those who don't get immunizations do not deserve to get sick, but I'm going to make sure mine have them to increase her odds of staying healthy.

I

Yes. Thats kinda the point ive been trying to make here.

 

[Arsenal1982]

1) This isn't about the actual rape. Clearly the rapist(s) deserve to go to jail and I'm sure the favor will be returned quickly.

2) The people making jokes are sick people. More than that, they're cowards. However as sick as it is, its not a crime.

3) The girl shouldn't have been passed out drunk. That is STUPID STUPID STUPID behavior. Calling her behavior stupid isn't blaming her. It's just calling her behavior stupid. As stupid as a woman walking by herself through the projects at 2am.

 

[goofyintoronto]

There's my point exacly, goofyintoronto. I don't understand why people are getting all riled up at me when you said the same thing...

Lol. I dont understand why its so difficult to understand. How many times do I have to repeat myself? I dont blame the victim...nobody deserves that. I will never and never have gone drinking to the point where I passed out. Why? I know there are creeps out there. Im not going to put myself at risk. Period! And ppl are arguing with me about this?

 

[goofyintoronto]

3) The girl shouldn't have been passed out drunk. That is STUPID STUPID STUPID behavior. Calling her behavior stupid isn't blaming her. It's just calling her behavior stupid. As stupid as a woman walking by herself through the projects at 2am.

See, you get it! Thats a good point. Walking thru the projects alone at 2am doesnt mean I deserve to get raped. But wouldnt it be stupid to do such a thing? I am cautious so I wont walk thru there alone.

 

[bimshire]

Stop blaming the victim. What normal male would find an intoxicated female a sexual opportunity? What male would find a girl who has been vomiting an invitation for sex? Those two teen boys are simple bad to the core and deserve to be where they are now in juvie jail.

 

[Arsenal1982]

Stop blaming the victim. What normal male would find an intoxicated female a sexual opportunity? What male would find a girl who has been vomiting an invitation for sex? Those two teen boys are simple bad to the core and deserve to be where they are now in juvie jail.

Who has said differently? It was a rape, it was a crime. That doesn't mean the girl's behavior wasn't stupid.

 

[AC7179]

By all means, teach your children to be safe. We all do. However, you analogy doesn't work. A consequence of not being immunized is getting sick.

A consequence for getting drunk/wearing a short skirt/showing cleavage/going out to a club...should NEVER BE RAPE. Rape is not a consequence of actions on the part of the victim. It is a FELONY on the part of the perpetrator.

Of course, I see the bad analogy there. I was trying to go for the analogy of doing things to make it safer (taking care, getting immunized) to prevent the bad things (illness, rape.) Actually, thinking about it, the analogy isn't a bad one. I disagree that the consequence of not getting immunized is getting sick. You get sick because you're around bad germs. You get raped because you're exposed to bad people. Immunizations and safety rules just try to minimize the risk (and of course, neither are always effective!)

For the record, I'm sickened by the actions of the boys and the media's response. I just was trying to point out that there can be a difference in blaming the victim (which has happened a lot in this case) and pointing out things the victim could have done to keep herself safer. I tend to look at crimes and tell my children ways to keep themselves safer, and it's in no means a criticism of those who have experienced the crime!