Spin off... if your child gifted?

[Magpie]

Oh I didn't mean specifically unkind to me, just unkind in general, to everyone. There are definitely stories I could tell but this thread isn't about that. There was a nasty experience the first year she was there involving her painting over the artwork of other students without permission, and some students I wasn't familiar with ended up bringing it to the principal.

I spent my peer tutoring class recording marks for her as well, and it was very often that she'd lose important assignments or inspect drying sculptures belonging to students and then drop them. She asked me to clean it up and toss it and she never told the students.

I didn't expect you to know that and again I will say that it was a bad choice of words. I didnt explain the situation well enough for others to understand it and I see that now. It can definitely be interpreted in a different way and that is my fault.

I also appear to be unable to quote correctly on my phone for some reason.

I just want to say that your original post didn't come across as "snarky" or "preening" or "spoiled" or anything at all like that - at least not to me.

But that may be because I had exactly the same experience in high school. And you know what? It did NOT inspire in me a love of art. It's hard to explain, but it's strangely discouraging to constantly have the teacher talking up how "difficult" this assignment is, and everyone around you is struggling, and you hand in something you pulled out of your butt (knowing full well that you deserve a crummy grade), only to be handed a 10/10.

It made me want to just ditch everything and say, "The heck with art! It's stupid!"

I wonder how many academically gifted kids feel like that in school...? Lots, I bet.

Anyway, if it weren't for the fact that I discovered I could make some easy money drawing stuff for people, I probably would have quit the art scene altogether. I really hate galleries.

Here's a suggestion for you - if you want a reason/motivation to practice your painting skills (since you say you don't like painting), start painting jackets and shirts. You can charge the cost of the garment, plus 100 dollars for your work, and people will think they got a bargain. Not to mention - you can paint all the fantasy stuff you like.

Naked elf chicks with big swords are always popular.

 

[LisaR]

Feathers,
If you don't mind me asking, did you end up going to Emily Carr? I'm a bit confused since you said you are an adult who has been working at an airport for three years. I hope you are still attending the university and I hope it leads to your career choice in gaming. It sounds like you are very talented.

 

[dngnb8]

What I dont understand is why so many adults show such "hostility" (for lack of a better word), towards gifted children or their parents. Take many of the "condescending" remarks in this thread, and the other threads.

My child gets grief in school for being gifted. If she gets 1 poor grade (and by poor I mean a B for *****'s sake) she is razzed.

Just because one has intellect capability, doesnt mean they are faultless perfect individuals who never make mistakes.

I swear the grief the parents and kids get is more out of jealousy and lack of self esteem and the attitude is some sort of self defense mechanism.

Its like if one can tears them down, one feels equal. Just remember when you do the tearing down, your tearing down a child.

 

[Feralpeg]

Feathers, I apologize if I offended you. Your post hit rather close to home. You see, I taught high school English. I had students who had attitudes similar to yours. They didn't see why they should do the assignments I gave them. They thought they were smarter than I was and that they had nothing to gain from doing the work. Some were, indeed, very smart and talented students. The problem was that they had not experienced some of the things my assignments were designed to show them. When they got to college, the contacted me to say they were having problems with their papers and analysis skills. If they had done the assignments, they would have learned skills that would have helped them later.

I just have a problem with young people who think they know more than their teachers and that they have the right to pick and choose which assignments they will do. Teachers don't just sit around and make up assignments because they have nothing better to do. Every assignment is designed to teach or reinforce a skill that will help their students in the future. A really gifted individual would realize the merit of all learning opportunities and take advantage of what others have to offer them. NOTHING teaches better than experience and that is what teachers have to offer to their students.

You sound like a very talented young person. I wish you well in the future.

 

[Magpie]

Feathers, I apologize if I offended you. Your post hit rather close to home. You see, I taught high school English. I had students who had attitudes similar to yours. They didn't see why they should do the assignments I gave them. They thought they were smarter than I was and that they had nothing to gain from doing the work. Some were, indeed, very smart and talented students. The problem was that they had not experienced some of the things my assignments were designed to show them. When they got to college, the contacted me to say they were having problems with their papers and analysis skills. If they had done the assignments, they would have learned skills that would have helped them later.

I just have a problem with young people who think they know more than their teachers and that they have the right to pick and choose which assignments they will do. Teachers don't just sit around and make up assignments because they have nothing better to do. Every assignment is designed to teach or reinforce a skill that will help their students in the future. A really gifted individual would realize the merit of all learning opportunities and take advantage of what others have to offer them. NOTHING teaches better than experience and that is what teachers have to offer to their students.

You sound like a very talented young person. I wish you well in the future.

But... I'm guessing (hoping!) you weren't giving them perfect grades on the few assignments they DID hand in, were you? Because nothing demotivates a kid more than getting rewarded for minimal effort.

I agree with almost everything you wrote, except... why on earth should a "really gifted individual realize the merit of all learning opportunities"? Maturity is an entirely different kind of gift from intellect or talent. Why should a gifted artist or writer also be automatically gifted with self-discipline? These aren't things that come packaged together.

 

[Feralpeg]

But... I'm guessing (hoping!) you weren't giving them perfect grades on the few assignments they DID hand in, were you? Because nothing demotivates a kid more than getting rewarded for minimal effort.

I agree with almost everything you wrote, except... why on earth should a "really gifted individual realize the merit of all learning opportunities"? Maturity is an entirely different kind of gift from intellect or talent. Why should a gifted artist or writer also be automatically gifted with self-discipline? These aren't things that come packaged together.

Lol! The only automatic grade I ever gave was a zero when no assignment was turned in. All grades, in my classes, were a reflection of the merit of the work done.

As for the maturity issue, I agree. Maturity comes with time and experience. Being gifted does not make a person mature.

 

[Feathers]

I just want to say that your original post didn't come across as "snarky" or "preening" or "spoiled" or anything at all like that - at least not to me.

But that may be because I had exactly the same experience in high school. And you know what? It did NOT inspire in me a love of art. It's hard to explain, but it's strangely discouraging to constantly have the teacher talking up how "difficult" this assignment is, and everyone around you is struggling, and you hand in something you pulled out of your butt (knowing full well that you deserve a crummy grade), only to be handed a 10/10.

It made me want to just ditch everything and say, "The heck with art! It's stupid!"

I wonder how many academically gifted kids feel like that in school...? Lots, I bet.

Anyway, if it weren't for the fact that I discovered I could make some easy money drawing stuff for people, I probably would have quit the art scene altogether. I really hate galleries.

Here's a suggestion for you - if you want a reason/motivation to practice your painting skills (since you say you don't like painting), start painting jackets and shirts. You can charge the cost of the garment, plus 100 dollars for your work, and people will think they got a bargain. Not to mention - you can paint all the fantasy stuff you like.

The fact that she hated on other students sort of inspired me to show her who's boss I suppose, like she can't tell a student that their art is bad just because she doesn't like it (I sat right next to the door so I could hear every word she spoke to students she pulled into the hall). Case in point, she hated fantasy art but that art got me into University. Ironically enough, the same one she went to and insisted I wouldn't get into.

And I absolutely do commissions and the like already.

I've done a tattoo design for someone and it's now on her back and (finally) being colored. I sell the odd piece to people who are interested when they come along, because, as art class taught me, there will be people who just plain old hate your art. xD

Feathers,
If you don't mind me asking, did you end up going to Emily Carr? I'm a bit confused since you said you are an adult who has been working at an airport for three years. I hope you are still attending the university and I hope it leads to your career choice in gaming. It sounds like you are very talented.

Age-wise I'm considered an adult but I am still under the age of twenty. And I've been working at the airport for three years, yes. It's a boring counter job. I am starting at Emily Carr this September when I get back from my vacation. I'm also hoping I haven't made a mistake by going to art school instead of a tech school or something, but I suppose it makes sense since I hope to get a concept artist position or something similar. Thanks. : )

What I dont understand is why so many adults show such "hostility" (for lack of a better word), towards gifted children or their parents. Take many of the "condescending" remarks in this thread, and the other threads.

My child gets grief in school for being gifted. If she gets 1 poor grade (and by poor I mean a B for *****'s sake) she is razzed.

Just because one has intellect capability, doesnt mean they are faultless perfect individuals who never make mistakes.

I swear the grief the parents and kids get is more out of jealousy and lack of self esteem and the attitude is some sort of self defense mechanism.

Its like if one can tears them down, one feels equal. Just remember when you do the tearing down, your tearing down a child.

I have friends that fall under the same category of your kid, and I know for a fact that it's not fun at all. I have friends that would stay up into the late hours of the morning studying for an exam they don't even need to pass. They just feel the pressure because it's something they've always been good at and such. I'm a little bit like that in English but English tests aren't meant to be hard since you need to pass them to graduate anyway.

At the graduation night I heard a lot of bragging coming from the parents of children who have won important awards or got some kind of special recognition. The kid is standing there going "well i'm just good at X" and the parents take it way out of context most of the time just to try and prove that their child is made of gold or something. Then the kid nudges their parent and just tells them to stop talking...

I can understand being proud but there's no need to try and bring someone else down just to put your kid on a pedestal.

Feathers, I apologize if I offended you. Your post hit rather close to home. You see, I taught high school English. I had students who had attitudes similar to yours. They didn't see why they should do the assignments I gave them. They thought they were smarter than I was and that they had nothing to gain from doing the work. Some were, indeed, very smart and talented students. The problem was that they had not experienced some of the things my assignments were designed to show them. When they got to college, the contacted me to say they were having problems with their papers and analysis skills. If they had done the assignments, they would have learned skills that would have helped them later.

I just have a problem with young people who think they know more than their teachers and that they have the right to pick and choose which assignments they will do. Teachers don't just sit around and make up assignments because they have nothing better to do. Every assignment is designed to teach or reinforce a skill that will help their students in the future. A really gifted individual would realize the merit of all learning opportunities and take advantage of what others have to offer them. NOTHING teaches better than experience and that is what teachers have to offer to their students.

You sound like a very talented young person. I wish you well in the future.

Eh, it's just the internet. People are going to say things.

Yeah, I can see how my story would bother you, but that attitude was kept in the art room. English was pretty much my favorite subject through high school because I love to read, even though a lot of books you're required to read are books I also found boring. I had an excellent English teacher in grade 12, we always told him to go back to University to teach the professors how to teach English. He was fluent in French, Latin, and a couple other languages and he was very interested in talking about controversial topics. Always great fun.

Even the students have to deal with students like the ones you just described. We had a major group project in English with a group of five that required reading Catcher in the Rye. Two of us were excited and read it more than once and the other three never showed up to any meeting except one right before it was due. So the other dude and I did the whole project and got all of the marks for it. One of them showed up to the last meeting with a hangover so we sent her home.

I like to think my incredible dislike for my art teacher is within reason. If she can insult my friends who want to get into animation because they don't want to go outside and draw rocks then she can deal with me not liking to paint.

 

[LisaR]

What I dont understand is why so many adults show such "hostility" (for lack of a better word), towards gifted children or their parents. Take many of the "condescending" remarks in this thread, and the other threads.

My child gets grief in school for being gifted. If she gets 1 poor grade (and by poor I mean a B for *****'s sake) she is razzed.

Just because one has intellect capability, doesnt mean they are faultless perfect individuals who never make mistakes.

I swear the grief the parents and kids get is more out of jealousy and lack of self esteem and the attitude is some sort of self defense mechanism.

Its like if one can tears them down, one feels equal. Just remember when you do the tearing down, your tearing down a child.

I can only answer this for myself. My feelings on the subject do not reflect how other people feel and I accept that.

I am concerned about the direction our country is heading from many aspects including education. I am assuming everyone will agree that there are tremendous flaws in our educational system? We don't all agree on the way to fix those flaws, though.

Placing the vast majority of kids in gifted programs is one of the many weaknesses of the schools, IMO. I can only speak for my area and the people we know. Almost everyone here is in a gifted program. Statistically, that just isn't possible. Unfortunately, what that leads to is a great deal of entitlement because "my kid is gifted and should get the best education compared to those other children that aren't as special as my child." Again, I am only speaking from MY experience with people in MY community. YMMV.

From what I can tell, the vast majority of these kids are average children. Nothing wrong with that at all but they are labeled gifted. Our schools have LOWERED the IQ levels necessary to get into the gifted program. That is disturbing!

The schools no longer seem to have slower learners, average children, and gifted. We need to be PC so we have gifted and average. Our local public elementary school keeps a permanent sign outside that announces to everyone that sees it that 85% of the student body is in the gifted program. The two middle schools brag about their numbers between 75 & 80%. The private high school across the street from me flashes on their marque that 98% of their students are gifted. I cringe when I drive by that sign. How would you like to be in the 2% of that student body? How is it even possible to have 75 - 98% of students in a gifted program? Are we inflating the results all while inflating egos? Did we dumb down the curriculum even more than we already have? Are we honestly raising some new type of super intelligent child?

How many threads do you see on here that start off saying, "My son, he is really smart and in the gifted program........" Why is there a constant need to boast about this? In most cases, it doesn't even pertain to the thread. The thread will be about the child breaking a window or hitting his sister but the poster needs to note that he is gifted. Do we really need to tell our 2nd graders that they are so smart that they are in a special program just for gifted kids?" We already live in such an entitlement society and we have so many narcissistic people already that this can't be good.

I think the word is grossly overused and is ill defined by many. I am in favor of college prep programs for high school. I am even in favor of middle school programs for those that are truly gifted. I am not in favor of labeling a child as gifted when they are 3 - 10 years of age unless they are of genius level. I would like to see the schools teach a standard, across the board curriculum that challenges all students. If a student can not keep up for some reason, then they need help. I am in favor of saving the failing students at a young age so they can make something of themselves when they are older. If the gifted/average kids are in a challenging program, they will not need a label. They can go about their normal classwork and they can continue on with challenging, college prep work in high school.

As for jealousy, no, that isn't it at all. I have a son that has been deemed "highly gifted" since the age of 3.5 (and yes, I hate saying this but it is pertinent to the discussion). He was just retested not too long ago as a teen. I will add that my son is homeschooled just for full disclosure but I have had a great deal of contact with the school system and their "highly rated" gifted program. I know many of the kids that are in these programs. It is a joke.

My DD is an average, normal kid. She has never been tested so I am just guessing but I think I know my kid pretty well. If she went to school, I am 100% certain she would be placed in the gifted program.

Our IB high school and two other high achieving schools in this area have extremely stringent requirements to get into their programs. However, once a student is in, their siblings can get in without any testing and they only need to have a 3.0 gpa. We just keep lowering the standards so we can eventually call everyone gifted.

I am very sorry your child is experiencing grief over this. It seems to me that the gifted program has caused some of these issues. Kids really don't need to be so competitive over grades at such an early age. I can see things getting to be a bit competitive once they are in high school but not to the point of being ridiculous. If we are telling kids that they are so special and so gifted from such an early age, I would imagine there is a great deal of pressure on them from everyone involved.

Sorry, that ended up being really long! I guess I could have put this all into two sentences. Our schools are in trouble and our kids are still failing yet more kids are in gifted programs than ever before. That doesn't add up.

 

[dngnb8]

My daughter is in the MYIB program here in AZ. The program isnt the one causing grief, its the kids not in the program, and their parents (rolling eyes at PTA, Open House etc).

Kind of like this thread. Look at the first 3 posts. Satire and sarcasm directed at kids. Really!?!?!?! These are adults making fun of children because they test higher then theirs. Really? Hard to believe people are so petty that they have to start a thread on a Disney board of all places, to make fun of kids. I wonder, what would Walt say?

Quit ostracizing children for having a gift just because yours dont (not directed at Lisa, a general comment to all who feel it necessary to ostracize children out of pettiness)

 

[Feathers]

Our IB high school and two other high achieving schools in this area have extremely stringent requirements to get into their programs. However, once a student is in, their siblings can get in without any testing and they only need to have a 3.0 gpa. We just keep lowering the standards so we can eventually call everyone gifted.

I agree with your post completely.

Things like this just always take me back to English exams. You need to pass English 12 to graduate and that's it as long as you have the other requirements, which you can get in grades 9-11. If it's something you need to pass to graduate then obviously they aren't going to make it hard. They don't want 50% of students back for night school. And yet parents still won't let others forget how little Jimmy got a perfect score.

In my school you only need to take math up until 11th grade where it becomes optional. However, it only becomes optional if you're in a "higher placement" class. Most of my friends did what was called Essentials, and they had to take math in grade 12. Well, I hated math enough that I just wanted to get it done so I managed to get myself into the "higher placement" class so I could ditch it the next year. I am absolutely terrible at math. I had a steady C+ and sometimes got a B. But it doesn't change the fact that I was in the "gifted" class.

Schools want children in their gifted and AP classes because it looks good. We only have AP English at my school (Canadian school system works differently, as I learned from a student from Texas) and it's for kids who want to skip the first year of University/College level English. Anyone can join. There is no test to get in. You just keep up with the work and you're good.

 

[HelenePA]

wow 85%? I found on another site to get into our gifted program you have to have an IQ of 130 there are 7 Yes SEVEN in my school or .66% (in 2009) I dont think my dd would score that high... she'll just be a normal a little smarter than the average student.. and I'm okay with that!

 

[Magpie]

(snipped)
The schools no longer seem to have slower learners, average children, and gifted. We need to be PC so we have gifted and average. Our local public elementary school keeps a permanent sign outside that announces to everyone that sees it that 85% of the student body is in the gifted program. The two middle schools brag about their numbers between 75 & 80%. The private high school across the street from me flashes on their marque that 98% of their students are gifted. I cringe when I drive by that sign. How would you like to be in the 2% of that student body? How is it even possible to have 75 - 98% of students in a gifted program? Are we inflating the results all while inflating egos? Did we dumb down the curriculum even more than we already have? Are we honestly raising some new type of super intelligent child?

That's insane! That's not a gifted program at all.

In my neck of the woods, the district wide gifted program in Grade 1 to 4, only takes children above the 99.4th percentile. So, the top half of one percent, according to testing on the WIPPSI. There's not a ton of these kids in the city, but enough to fill a couple split-grade classes. There's always one or two autistic children in each class - the general understanding is that these are kids who are not functioning in the regular system. Status-conscious parents usually don't want their kids in with the "weirdos".

In grade 5, the gifted program starts taking the top 5 percent of students, who can qualify on a range of different assessment tools. In order to be accepted into the gifted program you have to have an IPRC meeting, an IEP, and you're considered "special ed". Not every school has a GT class (in fact most don't). And some students get bussed a long distance.

BTW - the "top 5 percent" means just that. If every kid in the system scored over 130, they'd still only take the top 5 percent of children over all. Children are ranked according to their scores and there's a waiting list to get in to the program. If your child tests gifted, but there's no room in the class because other children tested higher, then the teacher is supposed to differentiate in the classroom.

We have a lot of Asian families in the regular (post Grade 5) gifted program. And the usual scattering of autistic kids. It's still not the highest status program, however. That honor goes to the French Immersion program. Because French language mastery is something that will make you rich and successful in life.

The boundaries change again in high school, as there are fewer GT classes than in middle school. So the kids tend to congregate in certain schools. My children's high school has a large gifted population (maybe 30 percent?), but they're drawn from all over the region.

Here's the thing - a REAL gifted program is a god-send. Every kid should have a chance to be normal and unexceptional, to be just another face in the classroom. It's not good for kids to feel like they're the smartest person they'll ever meet. Gifted classes, when done right, provide kids with peers and intellectual challenge.

 

[SLK1]

What I dont understand is why so many adults show such "hostility" (for lack of a better word), towards gifted children or their parents. Take many of the "condescending" remarks in this thread, and the other threads.

My child gets grief in school for being gifted. If she gets 1 poor grade (and by poor I mean a B for *****'s sake) she is razzed.

Just because one has intellect capability, doesnt mean they are faultless perfect individuals who never make mistakes.

I swear the grief the parents and kids get is more out of jealousy and lack of self esteem and the attitude is some sort of self defense mechanism.

Its like if one can tears them down, one feels equal. Just remember when you do the tearing down, your tearing down a child.

It probably stems from the fact that parents of "gifted" kids do tend to shove this fact down others' throats. When a parent has a child who struggles to just make a C, and maybe can't master a standardized test, the last thing they want to do is listen to a parent brag about how gifted their child is, and how bored their child is in school. I'm not of the mindset that every child is gifted and "special", but I do feel for my friends who have to listen to all that garbage. It's one thing to be excited about accomplishments of your child, but it's a completely different thing to constantly mention all the accelerated classes, straight A's, not being challenged, etc., when it really has no place in a conversation (we have one mom around here who, when talking about plans for the summer, had to mention that since her children are so gifted, she had to plan educational activities. Really?! That's just bragging...). I've learned that no one cares about my kids' successes but me, DH, and my parents!

 

[agnes!]

Oh I didn't mean specifically unkind to me, just unkind in general, to everyone. There are definitely stories I could tell but this thread isn't about that. There was a nasty experience the first year she was there involving her painting over the artwork of other students without permission, and some students I wasn't familiar with ended up bringing it to the principal.

I spent my peer tutoring class recording marks for her as well, and it was very often that she'd lose important assignments or inspect drying sculptures belonging to students and then drop them. She asked me to clean it up and toss it and she never told the students.

I didn't expect you to know that and again I will say that it was a bad choice of words. I didnt explain the situation well enough for others to understand it and I see that now. It can definitely be interpreted in a different way and that is my fault. ...

If I didn't know that my DD doesn't post here on The DIS I would *swear* that your art teacher and one of her teachers were one and the same. Almost enough to destroy a young person's psyche.

agnes!

 

[dngnb8]

It probably stems from the fact that parents of "gifted" kids do tend to shove this fact down others' throats. When a parent has a child who struggles to just make a C, and maybe can't master a standardized test, the last thing they want to do is listen to a parent brag about how gifted their child is, and how bored their child is in school. I'm not of the mindset that every child is gifted and "special", but I do feel for my friends who have to listen to all that garbage. It's one thing to be excited about accomplishments of your child, but it's a completely different thing to constantly mention all the accelerated classes, straight A's, not being challenged, etc., when it really has no place in a conversation (we have one mom around here who, when talking about plans for the summer, had to mention that since her children are so gifted, she had to plan educational activities. Really?! That's just bragging...). I've learned that no one cares about my kids' successes but me, DH, and my parents!

Typically, gifted children have more issues. If their child is a breeze in school, the child is probably performing well, a good student, not necessarily gifted by definition or just inside the IQ testing determination.

Many of those kids you speak of have 120-125 IQ. My DD14 is 136 (multiple testings).

The farther to the right on the IQ scale you go, the more issues you have with the child emotionally. Things like Executive Skills Dysfunction, engagement, drive, etc to OCD issues, perfectionism, homework is a struggle every night. They dont sleep because their minds dont really shut down. It is no cake walk, I assure you.

Chances are, (not all) if they are in the 2% and right category, it isnt easy for the child or the parents.

 

[Magpie]

T
The farther to the right on the IQ scale you go, the more issues you have with the child emotionally. Things like Executive Skills Dysfunction, engagement, drive, etc to OCD issues, perfectionism, homework is a struggle every night. They dont sleep because their minds dont really shut down. It is no cake walk, I assure you.

Chances are, (not all) if they are in the 2% and right category, it isnt easy for the child or the parents.

The joke around here is, "And they look funny, too!"

But actually, it's kind of true - I could always spot my daughter a crowd of kids. There'd be a space cleared around her and she'd be bouncing and windmilling her arms and talking a mile a minute. Other kids seemed to find her overwhelming. She had difficulty making friends.

After extensive testing, she was placed in a program for "profoundly gifted learners" in first Grade - that's the program I described above which only takes the top half a percent of kids in the entire region. I remember standing in the door of her classroom, looking over the crowd of kids, completely unable to spot my daughter. Why? Because they were ALL bouncing, and windmilling, and flapping their hands, and talking a mile a minute. The teacher shouted at me over the din, "They're a little overwhelming at first, but you get used to it!"

And yes - a lot of sensory disfunction disorders, some anxiety issues, OCD and Tourettes. A couple of autistic kids. But it was still a great class, IMO, full of wonderful, quirky, fun kids. (Even if one of the mothers in my daughter's kindy class, when I asked her if she'd considered applying to the program for her exceptionally smart daughter, told me, "Why would I want her in THAT class? My daughter's not like those kids. She's got friends!" Uh, yeah. Thanks lady. )

 

[penn19]

It probably stems from the fact that parents of "gifted" kids do tend to shove this fact down others' throats. When a parent has a child who struggles to just make a C, and maybe can't master a standardized test, the last thing they want to do is listen to a parent brag about how gifted their child is, and how bored their child is in school. I'm not of the mindset that every child is gifted and "special", but I do feel for my friends who have to listen to all that garbage. It's one thing to be excited about accomplishments of your child, but it's a completely different thing to constantly mention all the accelerated classes, straight A's, not being challenged, etc., when it really has no place in a conversation (we have one mom around here who, when talking about plans for the summer, had to mention that since her children are so gifted, she had to plan educational activities. Really?! That's just bragging...). I've learned that no one cares about my kids' successes but me, DH, and my parents!

Agreed. A boy on my ds sports team is "gifted". How do I know? His mom told the coach that her gifted child needed to be coached differently then the other players Because he was gifted. Why should that even come up in conversation. The kid was just a sullen, over indulged ( because he was gifted I presume) child.

Great if a child is gifted. But why is that any more special than an average kid, a slower kid etc? It's important to no one else but the parents. Really. Trust me on this

 

[dngnb8]

Agreed. A boy on my ds sports team is "gifted". How do I know? His mom told the coach that her gifted child needed to be coached differently then the other players Because he was gifted. Why should that even come up in conversation. The kid was just a sullen, over indulged ( because he was gifted I presume) child.

Great if a child is gifted. But why is that any more special than an average kid, a slower kid etc? It's important to no one else but the parents. Really. Trust me on this

What you dont understand is many gifted children are just wired differently. They do not learn in the same pattern that children in the 14% and left on the graph learn.

Our school system, and learning systems are based about the bell, not the lip. So while a gifted child (2%'rs and right on the graph), they lose interest and seem disengaged because they are not absorbing the information.

The mother obviously was aware of that and was trying to inform the coach that normal coaching might not work.

This isnt bragging, its letting the educator/coach understand his group.

It is this type of knee jerk reaction that is misguided. I mean without really knowing, you assign sullen and over indulged.

 

[LisaR]

The joke around here is, "And they look funny, too!"

But actually, it's kind of true - I could always spot my daughter a crowd of kids. There'd be a space cleared around her and she'd be bouncing and windmilling her arms and talking a mile a minute. Other kids seemed to find her overwhelming. She had difficulty making friends.

After extensive testing, she was placed in a program for "profoundly gifted learners" in first Grade - that's the program I described above which only takes the top half a percent of kids in the entire region. I remember standing in the door of her classroom, looking over the crowd of kids, completely unable to spot my daughter. Why? Because they were ALL bouncing, and windmilling, and flapping their hands, and talking a mile a minute. The teacher shouted at me over the din, "They're a little overwhelming at first, but you get used to it!"

And yes - a lot of sensory disfunction disorders, some anxiety issues, OCD and Tourettes. A couple of autistic kids. But it was still a great class, IMO, full of wonderful, quirky, fun kids. (Even if one of the mothers in my daughter's kindy class, when I asked her if she'd considered applying to the program for her exceptionally smart daughter, told me, "Why would I want her in THAT class? My daughter's not like those kids. She's got friends!" Uh, yeah. Thanks lady. )

Sounds like a very unique program and definitely not something I have ever seen in the two states I have lived in and multiple schools districts I have dealt with.

In our current school district, the elementary gifted program is based on teacher recommendation OR IQ. I don't know what the minimum IQ needs to be but it is not mandatory to have testing to get into the program.

In the middle school, the IQ needs to be 115 or 120. I can't remember for sure since it has been a few years since I have checked.

As a side note, my son turned 14 this past weekend. DH told him that there is a new law the state has passed that said kids 14 and up can no longer flap! DS didn't buy it. He said we don't know what we are missing out on. Flapping ones arms is apparently very freeing. At least he has learned not to flap in public.

Agreed. A boy on my ds sports team is "gifted". How do I know? His mom told the coach that her gifted child needed to be coached differently then the other players Because he was gifted. Why should that even come up in conversation. The kid was just a sullen, over indulged ( because he was gifted I presume) child.

Great if a child is gifted. But why is that any more special than an average kid, a slower kid etc? It's important to no one else but the parents. Really. Trust me on this

I see this ALL THE TIME! We had the exact same thing on my son's swim team. And the parents love to announce how gifted their kid is in front of everyone; the other kids, parents and coaches. Why does everyone need to know that your kid is gifted? It is a swim team not a rocket building competition (not that we would need to know then, either). When Junior hears that he is gifted all the time, it absolutely has an effect on him. When Junior is treated like he is so much more special than the other kids, Junior is going to become a handful and require special treatment but it isn't because he is gifted, it is because he is a ****! I see too many kids being built up by their parents on a regular basis. This need to tell them that they are the best and greatest at everything has become too much.

 

[dngnb8]

The Bitterness in this thread is palpable