Sorry I can't attend your Friday afternoon wedding, but WHY ARE YOU MAD ABOUT IT?

[LadyShiva]

And lest you think I'm blowing smoke about my cake falling and me laughing, here's a picture of me holding the second layer:

I still laugh when I see that picture!

Brandie

 

[RVGal]

Jodie -

Are you sure that wedding was legal and all that? Maybe you need to do it all again... and invite me this time? I wanna ride on the trolley to Kennedrunkport.

Just a thought.

 

[AlexandNessa]

Jodie -

Are you sure that wedding was legal and all that? Maybe you need to do it all again... and invite me this time? I wanna ride on the trolley to Kennedrunkport.

Just a thought.

Haha! You have NOOOOO idea how many people asked me that since my brother got "ordained" to perform the ceremony! My mother actually wanted to see my legal marriage license from the State of Maine. (Not that she would be able to tell a legal license from a forgery ... but still!)

I promise .. next wedding, vow renewal .. you're there. And I'll even pay for your airfare!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Hmmmm. I have mixed feelings on that one. If no one had to travel in the first place, then I suppose having a destination wedding makes less sense. However, I still strongly believe in the couple's right to have their wedding where they choose. I do think that it's VERY important that the couple take the financial situation of their immediate family into consideration though. We would not have had a destination wedding if my parents, MIL, or grandparents could not have afforded to come. Guests not being able to come is an entirely different situation from immediate family not being able to come.

Well I have to say that I don't share my finances with anyone and if my sibling chose a destination wedding I'd have to suck it up and go even if it meant that I couldn't take my family vacation. Even if I can afford the wedding I more than likely do not want to travel anywhere far for a wedding or any party for that matter. And by far I mean overnight. If one side of the couple has family all in one area I can see having the wedding there so both sides don't have to travel. Have the wedding you want but I can assure you that not everybody is thrilled to vacation at your wedding. Even if they won't say it.

 

[mumom95]

I have an question about destiniation weddings (I'm already married, but a friend is considering this). Are the bride and groom expected to pay for the airfare and hotel accomodatins for their guests?

 

[Principessa Alba]

Some of you sound like guestzillas - you only want other people's weddings to be on your terms.

If you mean by "my terms" that I don't want to have to give up my family vacation and/or spend a fortune to go to your wedding, then yes, I'm a guestzilla.

I've been to so many weddings in my life, I always do my best to go to weddings of friends and family members and I never complain to the bride or groom if their plans make things hard for us. But if you think I haven't grumbled a little about a few of them, well, guilty as charged. I am a guestzilla.

 

[LadyShiva]

I have an question about destiniation weddings (I'm already married, but a friend is considering this). Are the bride and groom expected to pay for the airfare and hotel accomodatins for their guests?

No, destination weddings are treated like most weddings, where the guest who accepts the invitation to the wedding is responsible for all costs associated with attending the wedding.

I think previous posters with destination weddings mentioned they did, however, pay for some of their guests to attend--but not all of them.

Brandie

 

[RVGal]

Haha! You have NOOOOO idea how many people asked me that since my brother got "ordained" to perform the ceremony! My mother actually wanted to see my legal marriage license from the State of Maine. (Not that she would be able to tell a legal license from a forgery ... but still!)

I promise .. next wedding, vow renewal .. you're there. And I'll even pay for your airfare!

"Ordained"???

Did he do it through one of those ads in the back of Rolling Stone?

 

[LadyShiva]

If you mean by "my terms" that I don't want to have to give up my family vacation and/or spend a fortune to go to your wedding, then yes, I'm a guestzilla.

I've been to so many weddings in my life, I always do my best to go to weddings of friends and family members and I never complain to the bride or groom if their plans make things hard for us. But if you think I haven't grumbled a little about a few of them, well, guilty as charged. I am a guestzilla.

Kinda a funny way to interpret an invitation to a wedding, huh? If you don't accept the invitation because it doesn't meet your criteria, then you're a guestzilla?

But a bride has to call someone up and yell at them for not accepting her invitation to become a bridezilla?

Sounds hokey to me. I would think you need to witch at the marrying couple to at least qualify as a guestzilla.

Brandie

 

[AlexandNessa]

"Ordained"???

Did he do it through one of those ads in the back of Rolling Stone?

Uhhhh, close!

http://themonastery.org/?OVRAW=univ...standard&OVADID=7459877011&OVKWID=44276556011

 

[jenm2878]

I don't care if I'm invited two decades ahead of time, I'm still not planning my vacation around somebody else's wedding, even if that someone else were my siblings.

No one forced those in attendance for our wedding to come. As I stated before, we didn't really care if it was just me and DH there. Sure, we wanted people to go and were grateful that some did, but it certainly wasn't because we 'forced' or 'bridezillad' them into going.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I think that's why I am invited to these things in the first place! I think they invite me knowing I won't be able to go, but I'll still fork over the cash.

Neighbor across the street invites me to her son's wedding, this past weekend in another state! I don't even know him. I hardly know her for that matter.

She just wanted gifts, which I did not get them, btw. They are moving right now (literally) and I probably will never see them again in my life.

 

[RVGal]

Uhhhh, close!

http://themonastery.org/?OVRAW=univ...standard&OVADID=7459877011&OVKWID=44276556011

Cool! A church that welcomes all without question? What a concept...

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I have an question about destiniation weddings (I'm already married, but a friend is considering this). Are the bride and groom expected to pay for the airfare and hotel accomodatins for their guests?

No, which is why I will only go if they are my kids.

 

[jenm2878]

I think all the people pointing out how few people did go to their destination wedding are missing the point that having "those closest to them attend" pretty much proves the point that yeah, you were selfish and self-centered about your wedding--you were there to get married to the love of your life, and having people there wasn't that important to you, was it? *hrrrrmmmm*

Think about that a little longer, why dontcha?

So I should have had a wedding I couldn't afford and go into debt so 'maybe' more people would have come? We had the people who were most important to us there, what's wrong with that? We also threw a party for everyone else when we got home. Why are people so angry about destination weddings? If you don't want to go, don't.

 

[Principessa Alba]

No one forced those in attendance for our wedding to come. As I stated before, we didn't really care if it was just me and DH there. Sure, we wanted people to go and were grateful that some did, but it certainly wasn't because we 'forced' or 'bridezillad' them into going.

Maybe what some of your younger women aren't taking into consideration is that we who are your elder relatives, and we who are friends who watch you grow really don't like turning your invitation down. You are special to us, even if your wedding is a bit incovenient to us. You say you don't care if we come or not. Well, that hurts a little. It's "your day", but if I am your auntie (by blood or just by friendship) and I have known you since you were born, I'd like to be at your wedding.

It's not all black and white. When our god daughter was married years ago in California, I would have been sick if we couldn't attend. But we had to actually go into debt to attend. I guess we didn't have to go, but it was out little Rosie getting married!


I honestly don't know what's worse, the attitude that she would have expected us to be there, or if she didn't care if we came.

It's not all about the couple.

 

[LadyShiva]

So I should have had a wedding I couldn't afford and go into debt so 'maybe' more people would have come? We had the people who were most important to us there, what's wrong with that? We also threw a party for everyone else when we got home. Why are people so angry about destination weddings? If you don't want to go, don't.

Did you only send out invitations to those "who were most important to" you?

Or did you get a few declined invitations? Did you then call them up and scream at them?

If you didn't call people up and act like a Bridezilla, what IS your grief here? The fact that you're being called on the fact that you asked those who were the most important people to you to come to your destination wedding?

Brandie

 

[The Mystery Machine]

So I should have had a wedding I couldn't afford and go into debt so 'maybe' more people would have come? We had the people who were most important to us there, what's wrong with that? We also threw a party for everyone else when we got home. Why are people so angry about destination weddings? If you don't want to go, don't.

No you can do anything you want. '

Traditional weddings are just what people expect.

Family/friends had watched you grow up.
One day they knew you would get married and they expected to attend a traditional ceremony.

So you get an invite to a destination wedding that will cost you a small fortune and you have to decline due to finances. It stinks! Or no invite at all!!!!

Surely you can understand why people would be hurt, mad, upset by that.

 

[RVGal]

Maybe what some of your younger women aren't taking into consideration is that we who are your elder relatives, and we who are friends who watch you grow really don't like turning your invitation down. You are special to us, even if your wedding is a bit incovenient to us. You say you don't care if we come or not. Well, that hurts a little. It's "your day", but if I am your auntie (by blood or just by friendship) and I have known you since you were born, I'd like to be at your wedding.

It's not all black and white. When our god daughter was married years ago in California, I would have been sick if we couldn't attend. But we had to actually go into debt to attend. I guess we didn't have to go, but it was out little Rosie getting married!


I honestly don't know what's worse, the attitude that she would have expected us to be there, or if she didn't care if we came.

It's not all about the couple.

Wow. That was well put.

We have taken off on a destination wedding tangent, but when a thread enters the 7th page, it usually doesn't have anything to do with the OP anymore anyway... right?

 

[jagafen]

I thought the whole point of having a weekday ceremony or a destination wedding was that you have less people come? Certainly I wouldn't expect anyone beyond immediate family or extremely close friends to come to a destination wedding!

Amen!!! My hubby and I had a destination wedding after dating for almost 10 years. At that point, I wanted a small, intimate wedding, done differently than the "ceremony then pictures/cocktail hour then dinner then dancing" redundancy (no offense to those who have more traditional weddings....it just wasn't for us!). We had 33 people at our wedding.....and I was happy with that!