Sorry I can't attend your Friday afternoon wedding, but WHY ARE YOU MAD ABOUT IT?

[Feralpeg]

DD wants to someday get married in Ireland. Of course, we don't know anyone in Ireland and I really doubt any of our friends or family (other than my sister) will make the trip. If that is okay with DD, I'm all for it. However, I will make sure she realizes this going in.

Of course, we live 5 minutes from WDW. She has no interest in a Disney wedding. I guess she sees too many!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Maybe what some of your younger women aren't taking into consideration is that we who are your elder relatives, and we who are friends who watch you grow really don't like turning your invitation down. You are special to us, even if your wedding is a bit incovenient to us. You say you don't care if we come or not. Well, that hurts a little. It's "your day", but if I am your auntie (by blood or just by friendship) and I have known you since you were born, I'd like to be at your wedding.

It's not all black and white. When our god daughter was married years ago in California, I would have been sick if we couldn't attend. But we had to actually go into debt to attend. I guess we didn't have to go, but it was out little Rosie getting married!


I honestly don't know what's worse, the attitude that she would have expected us to be there, or if she didn't care if we came.

It's not all about the couple.

This is an excellent post! Nothing screams love like making Great Grandma take the train to the plane. The people closest to you will not make a fuss no matter what you chose but you need to be smart enough to realize that they might have some trouble with the trip no matter what they tell you.

 

[Minniemouse07]

Haha! You have NOOOOO idea how many people asked me that since my brother got "ordained" to perform the ceremony! My mother actually wanted to see my legal marriage license from the State of Maine. (Not that she would be able to tell a legal license from a forgery ... but still!)

I promise .. next wedding, vow renewal .. you're there. And I'll even pay for your airfare!

When I told my dad that we were getting married in Jamaica.. he thought the "non denominational minister" was going to have dreads to his waist and be wearing jams!

Dad also called my sister and asked her what kind of church was non denominational. I swear he's a smart guy.. just grew up going to catholic school from birth through college!

 

[dimimi]

Alexandnessa....question, where was your wedding? I was wondering if your wedding was out of town and other people are upset because they went to your wedding, but you aren't able to attend their wedding?

I'm older than you, so when we were married, these were unusual. They do sound fun, but expensive!

 

[AlexandNessa]

Alexandnessa....question, where was your wedding? I was wondering if your wedding was out of town and other people are upset because they went to your wedding, but you aren't able to attend their wedding?

I'm older than you, so when we were married, these were unusual. They do sound fun, but expensive!

Oh, wow, good question... my wedding was in Kennebunk, ME. However, the bride who is angry at me wasn't invited to my wedding. Honestly, we had lost touch for years and years before my wedding, and I just didn't think to invite her. Then she got in touch with me via Classmates and we'd been keeping in touch back and forth, off and on. So I don't think that's it. But I could see your point.

The other wedding we could not attend recently was my cousin's wedding. He and his bride and her mom lived in FL so they had the wedding there. But everyone else in both sides of the family lived in NJ. And, they decided to have the Sunday night at 9pm reception on July 1. At least they understood why I couldn't go to that.

 

[jenm2878]

Maybe what some of your younger women aren't taking into consideration is that we who are your elder relatives, and we who are friends who watch you grow really don't like turning your invitation down. You are special to us, even if your wedding is a bit incovenient to us. You say you don't care if we come or not. Well, that hurts a little. It's "your day", but if I am your auntie (by blood or just by friendship) and I have known you since you were born, I'd like to be at your wedding.

It's not all black and white. When our god daughter was married years ago in California, I would have been sick if we couldn't attend. But we had to actually go into debt to attend. I guess we didn't have to go, but it was out little Rosie getting married!


I honestly don't know what's worse, the attitude that she would have expected us to be there, or if she didn't care if we came.

It's not all about the couple.

You make a good point. With us, neither of us have large extended families. Our family is both of our immediate families and some close friends. My DH's parents are retired and are always ready to travel - they were psyched at the idea because they were tossing around the thought of going to Disney soon anyway. My mom, brother, SIL and niece were planning on taking a trip to Disney a month or so prior to our wedding - they just pushed their trip back and ended up getting a better deal on the rooms. Five of our close friends approached us and asked if they could come. My best friend's husband is a photographer and offered to come take our pictures. I told him to name a price that would cover their travel - they declined and took our pictures as a wedding present.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that my family is the most important people to me. My 'family' includes some very good friends who chose to go with us. Our wedding day included our immediate circle and we couldn't have been happier. The reason I said that we wouldn't have cared if it was just us was that we had been dating for 8 years before we got married. To most people, this was just a formality as they already considered us husband and wife.

 

[jenm2878]

Did you only send out invitations to those "who were most important to" you?

Or did you get a few declined invitations? Did you then call them up and scream at them?

If you didn't call people up and act like a Bridezilla, what IS your grief here? The fact that you're being called on the fact that you asked those who were the most important people to you to come to your destination wedding?

Brandie

Actually, because it was planned so far in advance we knew who was coming before we sent out invites. So yes, we did only send invites out to those people. As stated before, I wasn't upset with those who couldn't come. We had been dating for eight years before we got married and had done alot of word of mouth, 'hey, if we did this would you be interested...' before we did much planning. No, we didn't invite alot of people because we didn't want to put people out, and it ended up that our immediate families and closest friends were there anyway.

 

[RadioNate]

This is an excellent post! Nothing screams love like making Great Grandma take the train to the plane. The people closest to you will not make a fuss no matter what you chose but you need to be smart enough to realize that they might have some trouble with the trip no matter what they tell you.

that is assuming that you live anywhere remotely near great grandma.

Let's look at my situation. When DH and I got married we were living in Portland Oregon.

-DH's parents lived 2.5 hours south of Portland in Oregon
-My mother lived in Chicago
-My father, aunt, uncle and cousins (dad's side) lived in Indiana about 1.5 hours from Chicago
-My aunt, uncle, great aunt and cousins (mom's side) lived in Michigan all w/in a hour radius of Detroit
-My grandparents lived in Florida
-DH's grandparents lived 2+ hours apart from each other in Nebraska
-DH's various aunts, uncles and cousins lived in Seattle, Minneapolis, Virginia, San Francisco, Colorado and the Dominican Republic

I grew up outside of Chicago, DH in Austin Texas.

Where exactly should we have gotten married that people wouldn't have to travel???

It is insulting to say that all people who have destination weddings are simply being selfish. I NEVER called anyone who couldn't attend and yelled at them. Was I disappointed that some people couldn't attend sure but never angry. I also had more than 100 guests at my WDW wedding. I actually had people ASKING to attend. We got some "no's" and that was fine. I've declined several invites because we couldn't travel for the wedding. In this day and age with family's spread out all over the country it is almost a given that someone will have to travel. I haven't been to a strictly 'local' wedding in years! You can't please everyone.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

that is assuming that you live anywhere remotely near great grandma.

Let's look at my situation. When DH and I got married we were living in Portland Oregon.

-DH's parents lived 2.5 hours south of Portland in Oregon
-My mother lived in Chicago
-My father, aunt, uncle and cousins (dad's side) lived in Indiana about 1.5 hours from Chicago
-My aunt, uncle, great aunt and cousins (mom's side) lived in Michigan all w/in a hour radius of Detroit
-My grandparents lived in Florida
-DH's grandparents lived 2+ hours apart from each other in Nebraska
-DH's various aunts, uncles and cousins lived in Seattle, Minneapolis, Virginia, San Francisco, Colorado and the Dominican Republic

I grew up outside of Chicago, DH in Austin Texas.

Where exactly should we have gotten married that people wouldn't have to travel???

It is insulting to say that all people who have destination weddings are simply being selfish. I NEVER called anyone who couldn't attend and yelled at them. Was I disappointed that some people couldn't attend sure but never angry. I also had more than 100 guests at my WDW wedding. I actually had people ASKING to attend. We got some "no's" and that was fine. I've declined several invites because we couldn't travel for the wedding. In this day and age with family's spread out all over the country it is almost a given that someone will have to travel. I haven't been to a strictly 'local' wedding in years! You can't please everyone.

This is why in my previous post I said if one side lives all in one area it makes sense to have it there so that not everyone has to travel. In your case it is not a matter of a destination wedding since your family is spread out so anywhere is a destination. I'm talking about when the whole family lives in say Texas and you decide to get married on an iceberg in Alaska and are then miffed when people don't exactly share in your excitement.

 

[keishashadow]

DS & DIL were married in an early (11:00 am) Saturday service two days before Christmas; with the reception beginning at a local country club around 1:00 p.m. Full sit down dinner, etc.; everything was beautifully decorated for the holidays. I was home wrapping last minute presents by 7:00 p.m.

When we initially met with the wedding planner WP; she mentioned destination weddings. Said they were a popular way for the happy couple to insure a honeymoon and usually cut costs of the ceremony & reception (of course WDW & exotic locals would be another matter ).

Since DH & I were footing the bill for the honeymoon (WDW naturally ); that wasn't a consideration. Additionally, the couple knew that it would prevent the majority of the family/friends from attending so they passed on the thought.

WP did indicate that typically, only immediate family/dear friends are invited...with the rest of your typical guest list receiving "announcements". An old-fashioned hold-over; lets more distant relatives know you're getting married without the iron-clad notion that you'll receive a gift (of course, you usually do).

Interesting that several family members did mention the "inconvenient time" to schedule a wedding . I thought it was a great idea since many family members would already be coming home for the holidays.

WP made another observation about destination weddings; evidently, many guests feel their presence @ the ceremony is gift enough. Bet that goes over well. My comment to guests who do decide to begrudgingly attend (either a traditional ceremony or destination ceremony) at least bestow a gift that covers your plate/head cost (unless the couple indicates otherwise or designates a charity).

 

[RadioNate]

This is why in my previous post I said if one side lives all in one area it makes sense to have it there so that not everyone has to travel. In your case it is not a matter of a destination wedding since your family is spread out so anywhere is a destination. I'm talking about when the whole family lives in say Texas and you decide to get married on an iceberg in Alaska and are then miffed when people don't exactly share in your excitement.

I just don't know anyone where nearly the entire family of both sides live in one location. I just don't think that is realistic these days.

If it is just one side then you are going to run into people who are upset no matter what. If the grooms family is from Texas and the brides from Massachusetts and they live in Georgia, who's family takes precedence? Tradition says the brides home town but then the grooms family is upset. Go to his home...her family is upset. Go to their home and everyone is upset.

I think that is why 'neutral' locations are popular.

I look at the last 5 or so weddings I've been too. All of them had a good number of people who had to travel.

I also don't know anyone who was ANGRY when people couldn't attend. Ok, maybe my cousin was but she is a head-case who ended up canceling her wedding.

Trust me, not all destination brides are trying to be selfish and not thinking about their guests. Sometimes 'making' everyone travel is easier than dealing with the fallout of choosing one 'side' of the new family over the other.

 

[yankeepenny]

whoa.....
Jodie you were not kidding......

 

[bubba's mom]

 

[LoraJ]

Glad we could amuse you all from your universal studios clique thread.

 

[damo]

Ok, fine. I'm shoved! Send me pics!

Oh gawd. Don't tell me you want a trip report with pictures.

 

[keishashadow]

Glad we could amuse you all from your universal studios clique thread.

Actually, it is the Something About Nothing Thread

and EVERYONE IS MOST WELCOME

It's a moderator scantioned thread, wherein people who happen to enjoy Universal & SW (the darkside if you will ); could have a general thread to discuss issues, etc. without it getting buried in the mountains of CB posts and, more specifically, to keep the existing U/SW threads more on topic.

think of it as a very-mini CB; which is indeed geared more specifically toward WDW in volume and mindset....and yes, I am easily amused

 

[bubba's mom]

Oh gawd. Don't tell me you want a trip report with pictures.

I'll do the trippie

 

[bubba's mom]

Actually, it is the Something About Nothing Thread

and EVERYONE IS MOST WELCOME

It's a moderator scantioned thread, wherein people who happen to enjoy Universal & SW (the darkside if you will ); could have a general thread to discuss issues, etc. without it getting buried in the mountains of CB posts and, more specifically, to keep the existing U/SW threads more on topic.

think of it as a very-mini CB; which is indeed geared more specifically toward WDW in volume and mindset....and yes, I am easily amused

Well said.....

you forgot to mention that the thread never falls off page 1.....and it's NOT a sticky

 

[keishashadow]

Well said.....

you forgot to mention that the thread never falls off page 1.....and it's NOT a sticky

if i only had spelled sanctioned correctly...oh the shame of it all; my reputation is in tatters. What to do...chocolate sounds like a good ; naw think i'll grab a triscuit or two & call it a night.

 

[RVGal]

We're a clique now?

Why didn't anyone tell me?

Harumph.