Sorry I can't attend your Friday afternoon wedding, but WHY ARE YOU MAD ABOUT IT?

[tndisneyfan]

I don't know why people just don't understand that it's hard to take vacation just for a wedding. I work shift work, so I work two weekends a month. My stepsister, who is 15-16 years younger than me and I'm not close to, decides to get married on a weekend that I'm working days. I have limited vacation hours and I'm not wasting 12 of them to go to a wedding of someone I'm not close to. I feel like dad and stepmom have been mad since I didn't come. Oh Well!!

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

My wedding will be on a Friday at 6pm, it was suppose to be on Saturday but they sold that date while I was on travel with work. I am afraid that people won't be able to attend because it is a Friday evening, but I wouldn't be mad at someone if they didn't make it (unless it was my sister who is a stay at home mom!!!).

 

[RVGal]

Look at the inside envelope. The names on the front of thhe inside envelope are the people invited to the wedding. If your name isn't on there, you're not invited.

There is no inside envelope. I'm telling you, this is the weirdest wedding invitation ever. It's a packet of stuff all crammed in one huge envelope.

Let's see there is the wedding invite, big and wrapped in a ribbon. There is the reception invite. There is the Grand Ole Opry invite. Then there is the RSVP card. Oh, wait! I just noticed the bottom of the RSVP card. "Feel free to mail in the RSVP card or respond via our website..." and there is no stamp on the RSVP envelope.

 

[Princess_Michelle]

We got married in Monterey, CA b/c that's where we were getting our military training and it's the only time we would have a gauranteed time frame to get married. (It was either that, or wait two years to have an east coast wedding, while living in Hawaii) All our family lives on the east coast, so we knew there would be plenty of people who couldn't make it. BUT, we were SO surprised at the amount of people who WERE able to come and we were SO grateful. Many of them were grateful in return b/c they enjoyed it so much, and normally would have never made it to Monterey, which they all just thought was beautiful. They were even able to see Carmel and we all went to San Francisco the next day. It was great

 

[Principessa Alba]

Some of you may remember when I posted last year about how my husband lost his "best friend" over a destination wedding.

"Best friend" (who also happens to have been the best man at our wedding and my daughter's godfather) was getting married and asked my husband to be his best man. My husband was thrilled to accept, until we heard the news...the wedding was in Aruba, and I was not invited. When DH asked how he could be invited to a wedding without his wife, many excuses were given about cost, etc. until it the real reason was finally revealed. Wait for it...

The wedding was booked at a couples only resort, and my husband was supposed to come as a "date" for one of the groom's single female friends so that she could go!

So not only was my husband supposed to use his vacation time and our vacation budget to travel to a wedding without me, he was also supposed to go as some other woman's date.

As I'm sure you can imagine, I made sure the invitation was declined.

Now I have officially heard everything!!!!! I think you even have RVGal beat with this one.

I think this is the weirdest story I have ever read on the DIS and you deserve some kind of award! I would have literally gotten a plane ticket to Aruba just to fly down there and smack them all silly!!!!!!

 

[Pigeon]

We gave everyone two YEARS notice of our intended plan, and only invited our closest friends and family.

I don't care if I'm invited two decades ahead of time, I'm still not planning my vacation around somebody else's wedding, even if that someone else were my siblings.

 

[missypie]

I can beat that. We were invited to a cruise wedding for October 05. The ceremony was taking place at sea- so if you just wanted to fly in for the service you couldn't. You had to do the whole cruise. Well DH can't get that time off(very busy season at his job runs Oct- Dec) and it would have cost us $10,000 to go! Sorry can't take your wedding as our vacation since we already took one over the summer. Plus I don't want to cruise to Mexico with my kids(who were also invited- which was nice but they have school) They were mad at me!(Second wedding for him by the way I went to the first one)

They are divorced now. I want my gift back.

Okay, that's about the most egotistical thing I've ever heard of. Beyond Bridezilla.

What I wish every wedding couple could know: That beyond close family and a few dear friends, most people don't care very much about your wedding. If I have a slight headache, or the weather is bad, or I can't find a cute dress, or I'm tired, I may decide to skip your wedding! Can you believe it? You are not the center of my universe.

 

[AlexandNessa]

Jodie, I was considering a vow renewal at RPR and was looking to put everyone up Club level. I was so hoping you and your DH would be there!! I was even counting on you to be the official event photographer after seeing all of the wonderfully clever shots of your friend Bud... Oh, well. I guess I'll just have to see what Damo is up to!

Hmmmm... when are you going? I could rearrange my schedule for THAT!

Oh, I totally back up RV Gal's story .... I just LOVE wedding websites and EVERY last detail of their wedding is on their wedding website!

Jynohn, YOUR story I think takes the cake in bizarro land. You were married at the time and your husband was supposed to share a hotel room with a bridesmaid who was supposed to be a date??! I don't even know what to say to that.

Honestly, I am just enjoying everyone's stories.

Continue to vent!

 

[flipflop]

Some of you may remember when I posted last year about how my husband lost his "best friend" over a destination wedding.

"Best friend" (who also happens to have been the best man at our wedding and my daughter's godfather) was getting married and asked my husband to be his best man. My husband was thrilled to accept, until we heard the news...the wedding was in Aruba, and I was not invited. When DH asked how he could be invited to a wedding without his wife, many excuses were given about cost, etc. until it the real reason was finally revealed. Wait for it...

The wedding was booked at a couples only resort, and my husband was supposed to come as a "date" for one of the groom's single female friends so that she could go!

So not only was my husband supposed to use his vacation time and our vacation budget to travel to a wedding without me, he was also supposed to go as some other woman's date.

As I'm sure you can imagine, I made sure the invitation was declined.

Wow.

 

[Octoberbride03]

Dh and I had a firday evening wedding for a few reasons. First and foremost was because it did cost less money than a saturday wedding. Also it meant we didn't have to wait for a year or more to get the hall and the church on the same date. Plus me living in PA and Him living in VA at the time, there's no way i wanted long engagement. I understood that there were ppl who for whatever reason couldn't come to our wedding, though we made it as late in the day as possible. I think my parents were a little more put out than i was but the number of declines. I did make them pony up the money for a 2nd round round of invites when the declines got so high we had to send out more

PPL do things for their own reasons, but honestly no Bride or groom should get mad simply because ap lanned guest can't come. I didn't. Some of the reasons I got were odd, but you don't want to come then don't come. I'll live.

 

[LoraJ]

We had a destination wedding. Wow, how selfish of us. But our family is spread all over the US, so no matter where we got married they would have to travel. And they all did. I wasn't angry at any of my local friends who couldn't make it. I *was* slightly dissapointed when people said they would go months ahead of time but then backed out in the last month. I didn't get angry with them and yell at them and I got over it quickly.

The chapel had a webcam so everyone who was unable to attend got an invite to watch it live on the net. My co-workers and friends had "viewing parties".

 

[Keggy]

Not everyone has destination weddings because they are self centered. We got married in Disney World instead of having a traditional wedding for a couple of reasons.
1) My dad had died a couple years prior to us getting married and I didn't want to have a traditional wedding if he couldn't be there.
2) We couldn't afford a traditional wedding. Both DH and I have mountains of student loans and were not about to take out another loan for our wedding. To get married at Disney + a ten day honeymoon was somewhere in the 5 or 6K range which was manageable.

We gave everyone two YEARS notice of our intended plan, and only invited our closest friends and family. Everyone had plenty of time to decide if they were going, and we weren't upset with those that declined. Most people CHOSE to extend the wedding trip into a vacation. My inlaws had never been and had a great time, while my family vacations at Disney anyway - this was just another reason for them to go.

We didn't want gifts and tried to do everything possible to make the trip easy for everyone. Honestly, we didn't care if it was just the two of us there with the reverend so we certainly understood if someone couldn't/didn't want to take the trip.

In the end we had 13 guests and everyone still talks about how much fun they had. I certainly hope none of them thought/thinks that I was a bridezilla for wanting our wedding to be what we wanted it to be. If it ended up being just my DH, me and the reverend, that would have been fine too.

I totally agree with you and I can totally relate. My brother had died, who was to walk me down the aisle, passed away the year prior to us getting married. It was extremelly emotional for my family and I did not want a big fancy wedding.

I didn't care who could come and who couldn't come. If anyone did end up thinking that we were selfish for having a destination wedding didn't know us very well then and shouldn't have been invited in the first place. As far as I know, no one was mad at us for choosing to have a destination wedding and we were not mad at anyone for not coming. We had 16 people on the cruise with us and they were the 16 people closest to us.

 

[momof2n2]

I think destination weddings are great... for the bride and groom.
But if we have different ideas of what a great vacation is... I *might* not bother coming.

 

[Minniemouse07]

We had a destination wedding. Wow, how selfish of us. But our family is spread all over the US, so no matter where we got married they would have to travel. And they all did. I wasn't angry at any of my local friends who couldn't make it. I *was* slightly dissapointed when people said they would go months ahead of time but then backed out in the last month. I didn't get angry with them and yell at them and I got over it quickly.

The chapel had a webcam so everyone who was unable to attend got an invite to watch it live on the net. My co-workers and friends had "viewing parties".

Our family was similar. Dh and I were in PA and our family was...

FIL/sMIL - PA (2hrs away)
dh's grandfather - NJ (2hrs away)
MIL/sFIL - FL
BIL/SIL - Louisiana
Sis - Georgia (although she was in Thailand on business just before the wedding and flew from there w/ FOUR layovers directly to Ft. Lauderdale to get to the ship!)
Brother - Tennessee
Dad - NY
Friends - PA (20min and 2.5hrs away) and IN

We all had a great time on the ship together for a week and our families had the opportunity to get to know one another... which was awesome!

 

[Principessa Alba]

We got married in our home town but many of our relatives had moved away so coming back home was in effect "a destination wedding" for them and some could come and some couldn't. I understand that lots of times people have to travel for weddings. (In our case we made sure everyone had a place to stay if they could come.)

It's just when the wedding costs everyone involved a bunch of money then it can be really stressful and of course people rarely tell the bride because they don't want to ruin her day. Of course we act all positive and cheery about it. But don't think some of us aren't thinking, "Oh great. I guess we're going to Las Vegas in December. I guess we'll have to cancel the vacation we were planning to take."

 

[LadyShiva]

I think all the people pointing out how few people did go to their destination wedding are missing the point that having "those closest to them attend" pretty much proves the point that yeah, you were selfish and self-centered about your wedding--you were there to get married to the love of your life, and having people there wasn't that important to you, was it? *hrrrrmmmm*

Think about that a little longer, why dontcha?

Now, there's a difference between being a self-absorbed wedding couple and being a bridezilla. A bridezilla calls the people up who declined the invitation and yells at them for "ruining her wedding day." Ya'll didn't do that, if you're telling the truth! Therefore, you were just "blinded by love" and you get a pass.

Brandie

 

[Minniemouse07]

I think all the people pointing out how few people did go to their destination wedding are missing the point that having "those closest to them attend" pretty much proves the point that yeah, you were selfish and self-centered about your wedding--you were there to get married to the love of your life, and having people there wasn't that important to you, was it? *hrrrrmmmm*

Think about that a little longer, why dontcha?

Now, there's a difference between being a self-absorbed wedding couple and being a bridezilla. A bridezilla calls the people up who declined the invitation and yells at them for "ruining her wedding day." Ya'll didn't do that, if you're telling the truth! Therefore, you were just "blinded by love" and you get a pass.

Brandie

Thanks for the pass!

We actually asked each of our family members (BEFORE any letters went out) if the cruise was something they could do and were very up front that if they couldn't do it we would figure something else out. The only person who didn't commit to the cruise at that time was my brother. He has a job where his schedule changes constantly and he travels often so he wouldn't be able to commit to ANY time or place.

Our families were actually all pretty excited about the trip (except BIL in the end) and we received MULTIPLE compliments from different family member about how great a time they had and how it was the "perfect" idea for our wedding since everyone was from so many different places. The general consensus was that it was way more fun to fly to FL for a Caribbean cruise than to fly to Philly for a long weekend!

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

I say that the bride who gets angry at a guest is unspeakably rude.

 

[LoraJ]

Some of you sound like guestzillas - you only want other people's weddings to be on your terms.

 

[Sugardimples]

" I think my parents were a little more put out than i was but the number of declines. I did make them pony up the money for a 2nd round round of invites when the declines got so high we had to send out more."

What the heck! You sent out a second round of invites? Called in the B Team?

I continue to be amazed at the self-importance of some of these lovely brides and grooms.