SO - Spouse has opposite sex friends on Facebook

[Candleinthewind]

I am just curious and wanted to know if those of you who would not be comfortable with your spouse being alone with the opposite sex, do you feel the same way if they have friends of the opposite sex on Facebook?

Obviously I am talking to the regular users of Facebook and not those who do not spend any time on the website. We both have friends of the opposite sex on Facebook. In fact my spouse is flying halfway around the world next week and is bringing certain items not available her country to a female friend I met while at a conference over a year ago.

 

[FlyingDumbo]

If I did not trust my husband, I would not have married him. I also know most of his female coworkers and friends I don't worry about that at all. If their are other red flags there, then pay attention, but if it is just facebook I wouldn't sweat it.

 

[powellrj]

I have lots of male friends on facebook. I went to a small HS and most of the kids I went to school with I am FB friends with, both male and female. I am also friends with people from church both male and female.

 

[bdcp]

Wow, another thread by OP on opposite sex friendships.

 

[Jessica14]

I think it depends on who it is. I totally trust my husband, but I was not comfortable that he became FB friends with his first serious girlfriend that he almost became engaged to. He ended up de-friending her if that is a word. In all fairness, we were having some issues back them, but I still think it is unnecessary. I would not have ever friended someone I used to date. There really is no point IMHO.

DH has lots of current and former work friends that are female. He also has some high school classmates that I think saw how handsome he still was 20 yrs later, and decided to connect with him. Not worried on his part, but I really don't think they had a "need" to reconnect when they didn't give him the time of day in HS. I have very few male friends on FB. I kind of just don't think its right, at least for me. They tend to be mutual friends of ours. I think though everyone has to decide what their personal comfort level is.

Jessica

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I am fine with it, as is he.

He has a lot of females I know(from his time in active duty, also wives of his friends) and some I don't from before he saw the light(AKA: ME!)

I also know his passwords for everything, so maybe that helps.

There are only a few males on my FB he knows. Most are from high school and growing up before I met him. I don't think they bother him. He's never said they do, and he's not shy.

 

[Planogirl]

Everyone seems to have tons of friends of both sexes on Facebook. In fact, some people don't even seem to know all of their friends.

I see nothing wrong with it no matter how much he (or she) talks to others.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I am friends with males, females, lesbians, gays, one bi, and two people who choose not to state and keep people guessing.

My husband has no problem with any of the above.

 

[LisaR]

My DH is totally fine with me having male friends on FB. However, he forbids me to have any female friends. He is well aware of the growing crisis we face as a nation where straight women suddenly run off to be with other straight woman. In addition, he forbids me to ever play tennis with other woman. Don't even get me started on how common it is around here for the tennis woman to suddenly start having affairs with each other. In turn, I forbid him to have male friends on FB. Other woman are fine, but no way is he going to be friends with other men. We all know how dangerous that can be.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

My DH is totally fine with me having male friends on FB. However, he forbids me to have any female friends. He is well aware of the growing crisis we face as a nation where straight women suddenly run off to be with other straight woman. In addition, he forbids me to ever play tennis with other woman. Don't even get me started on how common it is around here for the tennis woman to suddenly start having affairs with each other. In turn, I forbid him to have male friends on FB. Other woman are fine, but no way is he going to be friends with other men. We all know how dangerous that can be.

It's those little skirts...

I for one am not allowed to play beach volleyball anymore.

 

[DawnM]

It really doesn't matter what my husband is ok with. It matters what YOUR husband is ok with and what he isn't. Partners should have respect for each other and their choices/preferences.

My BFF's husband doesn't want her to visit Vegas without him. Not because she has given him reason to worry, but because two of their very good friends have run off and left their spouses while in Vegas. It may seem very irrational to some of us, but she respects that request from him.

Dawn

 

[superme80]

I have male friends on facebook. I do not add guys I had huge crushes on when I was younger, guys I dated, or I was in a relationship with. It is out of respect for DH. There is 1 ex boyfriend I would love to find and make sure he made out ok in life. DH knows and is ok with it.

 

[Hrhpd]

I am just curious and wanted to know if those of you who would not be comfortable with your spouse being alone with the opposite sex, do you feel the same way if they have friends of the opposite sex on Facebook?

Obviously I am talking to the regular users of Facebook and not those who do not spend any time on the website. We both have friends of the opposite sex on Facebook. In fact my spouse is flying halfway around the world next week and is bringing certain items not available her country to a female friend I met while at a conference over a year ago.

DH has a ton of female facebook friends. Some are mutual friends, some are coworkers, and some are old highschool friends. I never really go to his page and look. I trust him 100%, not a big deal at all to me. As above, if I didn't trust him, I wouldn't be married to him. And no, I am not naive.

 

[Hrhpd]

My DH is totally fine with me having male friends on FB. However, he forbids me to have any female friends. He is well aware of the growing crisis we face as a nation where straight women suddenly run off to be with other straight woman. In addition, he forbids me to ever play tennis with other woman. Don't even get me started on how common it is around here for the tennis woman to suddenly start having affairs with each other. In turn, I forbid him to have male friends on FB. Other woman are fine, but no way is he going to be friends with other men. We all know how dangerous that can be.

 

[ScottOKW2K]

I can see the letter in my minds eye now

"Dear Abby,

I've always thought my wife and I have a wonderful and close relationship. However, she recently played tennis with a woman from Vegas. Should I be concerned that I might lose her to the overpowering biological urges that this is known to cause, and that she may run off with that southwestern tramp?

Signed,

Concerned Disser in the south"

 

[Candleinthewind]

Frankly it is a perfectly legitimate spin-off question considering Facebook was mentioned in 1/3 of a study of 2011 divorce filings.

http://digitaljournal.com/article/317055

 

[anniemck]

Hubby and I both have friends of the opposite sex on our pages... some I grew up with went to school with, or met later in life when working. Same with him.

My ex husband on the other hand... before he was a cheater and didn't need facebook for that, or even text messaging. IF they want to cheat, they will find a way.

 

[Hrhpd]

Hmmm....I am facebook friends with a couple of NFL cheerleaders that I know personally. Wonder if DH worries that I have uncontrollable urges when I go to the football games.

Maybe that is why we always go together, he thinks I am going to run off with my friends. And here I always thought it was because our season tickets is a fun thing we share as a couple.

 

[mimmi]

My husband isn't on facebook but has plenty of female colleagues, with sime of them he goes on business trips frequently. I trust and don't control him.

I have male facebook friends and while most of them are gay, there are also straight ones like old school friends and colleagues from University, the latter are contacts I highly depend on as we switch important information.
I'm pretty sure my husband isn't interested in my facebook activities as he has never asked about them.
I'm extremely sensitive when it comes to my personal freedom, especially since I've quit work and my contacts to the outside world are more linited than before.
My facebook and real life friends are my business and I don't interfere with my husband's friendships. Of course we are on the same page concerning this topic.

 

[LisaR]

My husband isn't on facebook but has plenty of female colleagues, with sime of them he goes on business trips frequently. I trust and don't control him.

I have male facebook friends and while most of them are gay, there are also straight ones like old school friends and colleagues from University, the latter are contacts I highly depend on as we switch important information.
I'm pretty sure my husband isn't interested in my facebook activities as he has never asked about them.
I'm extremely sensitive when it comes to my personal freedom, especially since I've quit work and my contacts to the outside world are more linited than before.
My facebook and real life friends are my business and I don't interfere with my husband's friendships. Of course we are on the same page concerning this topic.

You apparently haven't heard the news. It is your straight friends that you have to worry about. Just ask Candle!