Sitting with kids on the plane

[NHdisneylover]

As for playing the "odds" as to whether your child will be in an emergency.. and being okay with that. I don't even know what to say. I get it that car travel is more dangerous, but everything I can control with car travel i do. Car seats, drive the speed limit, don't let myself get distracted. etc. You are limited with what you can control with air travel..but sitting next to your children to take care of them is certainly basic.

I admit tones can be decieving online--but boy that comes across as terribly insulting. I meant as in the ODDS are they are safer on that plane out of my immediate control than on the ground in my immediate control. You pretty much play the odds every time you do anything with your kids. You decide the odds are that the teacher (who has had a background check and is in a room full of kids, etc) will not molest your child, the odds are the vaccine will prevent an illness and not cause one, the odds the will be nourished by the food you give them and not choke on it, etc. etc. etc. I will explain the exact conditions anyway just becuase:
Well, let's see huge snowstorm, tons of fligths cancelled, roads in bad shape. A flight is going out but now fully overbooked and I cannot sit with my 3 year old if I want to take it (my 1 year old is a lap child). All the airport hotels are already booked up and the airport s stuffed full of people. If I do not take this flight my next possiblity is now 2 days away. Yep, I figured it was SAFER to take the flight and trust the ODDS that we would not have an emergency--or that is we did DD would be okay or the people near her would be decent and help her, over renting car in a city I hardly knew and put the kids in it in a snow storm to drive to a hotel, or to try to stay awake (already fairly sleep deprived from prior travel) for two days to keep an eye on the toddler so he would not wander off in the airport. The odds of something bad happening in the on the ground with me in full "control" of my children were much higher than the odds of something happening in the air. I was being rational, not playing roulette with my chidlren's lives

 

[njmeisje]

I'm a mom of 2 daughters. When I book my flights, I book where I can get seats together. If I can't - I select another flight where I can. I just don't understand why some folks think that other passengers on the plane have to help them solve a problem that they created with their eyes open. It happens every time we fly to Disney, the Bahamas ---- select another fight where you can get the seats you want.

 

[DISNEYFOS]

I admit tones can be decieving online--but boy that comes across as terribly insulting. I meant as in the ODDS are they are safer on that plane out of my immediate control than on the ground in my immediate control. You pretty much play the odds every time you do anything with your kids. You decide the odds are that the teacher (who has had a background check and is in a room full of kids, etc) will not molest your child, the odds are the vaccine will prevent an illness and not cause one, the odds the will be nourished by the food you give them and not choke on it, etc. etc. etc. I will explain the exact conditions anyway just becuase:
Well, let's see huge snowstorm, tons of fligths cancelled, roads in bad shape. A flight is going out but now fully overbooked and I cannot sit with my 3 year old if I want to take it (my 1 year old is a lap child). All the airport hotels are already booked up and the airport s stuffed full of people. If I do not take this flight my next possiblity is now 2 days away. Yep, I figured it was SAFER to take the flight and trust the ODDS that we would not have an emergency--or that is we did DD would be okay or the people near her would be decent and help her, over renting car in a city I hardly knew and put the kids in it in a snow storm to drive to a hotel, or to try to stay awake (already fairly sleep deprived from prior travel) for two days to keep an eye on the toddler so he would not wander off in the airport. The odds of something bad happening in the on the ground with me in full "control" of my children were much higher than the odds of something happening in the air. I was being rational, not playing roulette with my chidlren's lives

I agree tones can be deceiving. I felt the same way about the implication that parents are overprotective in the US. It was very condescending actually I do not feel having a requirement to sit next to my child on a flight is over the top. And, actually in the scenario you described, I wouldn't have taken the flight. I wouldn't have wanted my 3 year old to sit alone and I wouldn't have traveled with a lap child in a snow storm....Just different choices.

I just find some of the opinions here to be ready to tackle a poor unsuspecting new parent, unseason traveler as "entitled" for asking a question. Its obvious there are very strong opinions on both sides...

 

[bdiddy]

I just find some of the opinions here to be ready to tackle a poor unsuspecting new parent, unseason traveler as "entitled" for asking a question. Its obvious there are very strong opinions on both sides...

Thank you for saying this.

I think that many of us are in no way expecting anyone to give up their seats, many of us didn't know that there was a chance we wouldn't be together and many of us can't imagine sitting across the plane from their toddler.

After reading this thread, I made every effort to ensure us sitting together and purchased seats and my DH said if we aren't we will deplane. In no way am I asking or expecting anyone to move. It's sad that we get attacked for wanting to sit next to our little ones. Why is that so wrong?

 

[ajpa]

This is an airline responsibility..It should not be up to the passengers on the plane to duke it out as to who sits where or who has to move. If you purchase a ticket on a plane you are purchasing a seat on that plane and if you are with traveling companions the airline NEEDs to assume you want to sit together and should do everything in their power to accomodate that. This was never a problem back in the day when you purchased your tickets and you were given seat assignments with that purchase. They need to go back to that system and move away from charging for everything they can. You WILL start to see airlines charging for lavatory..

I absolutely agree!

 

[NHdisneylover]

I agree tones can be deceiving. I felt the same way about the implication that parents are overprotective in the US. It was very condescending actually I do not feel having a requirement to sit next to my child on a flight is over the top. And, actually in the scenario you described, I wouldn't have taken the flight. I wouldn't have wanted my 3 year old to sit alone and I wouldn't have traveled with a lap child in a snow storm....Just different choices.

I just find some of the opinions here to be ready to tackle a poor unsuspecting new parent, unseason traveler as "entitled" for asking a question. Its obvious there are very strong opinions on both sides...

I never said the OP was entitled. Others told her that the airline would make people move and I wanted to be sure, as an unseasoned traveler, taht she did not go in with that false assumption because it is false. I was trying to be helpful to teh OP by letting her know that they do not always accomidate families and she needed to take that in to consideration and have a plan B (whether that is splitting up or deplaining or rebooking now for a flight where she can purchase tickets together or whatever). American parents are more protective in these ways than just about any other culture I have ever seen It's true. I don't think I said it was a bad thing (or used the term overprotective)--though you can pick up enough from my posts to tell I do. You probably think it is a good thing. That's fine. But I did not pick up on your words and twist them and say something like you are smothering your child (which I don't think you are--but you apprently do think I am playing the odds in a dangerous way with my own children--not making a general comment but picking out my words exaclty). I just thought the way you said it was rude. I am sorry if my anecdotes about how the train ticket salesman and Hostel office worker reacted offended you I was not trying to offend you, or call you out at all.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Thank you for saying this.

I think that many of us are in no way expecting anyone to give up their seats, many of us didn't know that there was a chance we wouldn't be together and many of us can't imagine sitting across the plane from their toddler.

After reading this thread, I made every effort to ensure us sitting together and purchased seats and my DH said if we aren't we will deplane. In no way am I asking or expecting anyone to move. It's sad that we get attacked for wanting to sit next to our little ones. Why is that so wrong?

I think you are doing exactly the right thing based on your feelings. You got the information, you are doing what you can to be sure you are together and if somehting happens and you cannot be anyway you know what your plan B is. I have not actually noticed anyone attacking people, after the first couple of pages when there were some misundersatndings,on this thread for asking the question, or planning accordingly (but I may well have missed something).

 

[bdiddy]

Maybe attacked wasn't the best word....I guess we were made to feel that there was something wrong with wanting to sit next to them and they should be able to manage on their own. People parent differently and we all have different comfort levels and we shouldn't judge others on them.

 

[Drusilla]

I just got the OK from DH to upgrade our 4 picked out paid for all together seats on AirTran from coach to business class. OP can have my 4 all together seats in coach, I'm moving up

 

[kaytieeldr]

Interesting to me is after flying with our daughters I found out that FAA doesn't allow for more than 1 lap sitter in a row, because some aircraft that has 3 seats on one side, there are actually 4 masks that fall....
Respectfully, especially given how fanatical (in a good way) you are about safety and safety announcements, it's a little surprising that you never wondered or asked before.I digress, as for the emergencies I frequently hear about, most recently the Hudson most successful crash? controlled water landing if you will. before that the dash 8 in Newark, France Air 230 airbus, before that a Continental 737 in Denver that skidded off the runway resulting in engine fire and fire in the cabin, and don't even get me started on overseas crashes and accidents.
We (U.S. residents) have flown 798 billion miles in the last year. Compare that to the four domestic and pseudo domestic incidents you cite - a total of only several thousand miles. By the way, and not this does not prove any point - children in the Hudson River incident were mature, calm, and followed instructions.
As for the minors traveling across the country alone, I cannot fathom why we allow this. I did a quick search and found out that most airlines do not 100% take responsibility for the minor and infact very nearly treat them as if they were adults....scary stuff. Many times, parents simply can't fly with their children. A divorced parent shouldn't be expected to fly with their child when it's the other parent's turn for custody, then turn right around and fly back. Surely you don't expect each child to be assigned their own airline employee companion? Airlines don't (can't) increase the number of Flight Attendants simply because there is a UM on board. What exactly do you expect the airlines to do? They make sure the child is accompanied to the plane by an authorized person (e.g. parent, guardian, other responsible adult/family member) and turned over to the care a Flight Attendant, who then makes sure the child is seated safely - usually in an easily accessible location whenever possible - and buckled in and knows to call the FA for assistance with anything. But then the Flight Attendants are responsible for the safety of ALL the passengers.
lastly, on the topic of is my kid safer while flying with her next to me as opposed to sitting even 1 row in front of me........absolutely, I put their mask on, I throw them out a window to a waiting life boat in the event of a water ditching, I check to see if their seatbelt is on. Is my kid safer now flying with me right beside her, more so than the minor flying alone. you bet! much safer than assuming that the airlines or a responsible stranger would remotely consider the safety of my child before his or her own safety....That's you. You apparently have no faith in your fellow human beings to act in a reasonable, sensible, responsible manner.for me it's very hard to understand your position because it is in complete contrast to mine and nearly unfathomable to me to assume that someone would take responsibility for my child under duress and panic....wow

.

 

[kaytieeldr]

But that are the most expensive seats in EC and I really have to make a lot of effort to book them so why trade them?

But that's EC. The OP is flying, I think AirTran domestically - and this airline charges the same $6 per seat selection for ANY available seat. No premium. I thought of that before I posted

 

[NHdisneylover]

Maybe attacked wasn't the best word....I guess we were made to feel that there was something wrong with wanting to sit next to them and they should be able to manage on their own. People parent differently and we all have different comfort levels and we shouldn't judge others on them.

yes we do all parent differently--partly because we all have different kids I just feel like I have said over and over and over again taht there is nothing wrong with wanting to sit by your kids--but that you cannot just expect it (pointing it out not to be rude but because clearly some people did not know that and need the forwarning) and over and over and over that gets interpreted as me saying that you should not feel that way I am glad you did not feel attacked by the stories I told. They are want happened and they do illustrate a cultural difference (and served to prove the point that sometime kids CAN handle things-but we may not want them to which is okay, truly it is okay with me) but that was all I meant by it.

I just got the OK from DH to upgrade our 4 picked out paid for all together seats on AirTran from coach to business class. OP can have my 4 all together seats in coach, I'm moving up

Woohoo Lucky girl! I hope you are celebrating

 

[DISNEYFOS]

I never said the OP was entitled. Others told her that the airline would make people move and I wanted to be sure, as an unseasoned traveler, taht she did not go in with that false assumption because it is false. I was trying to be helpful to teh OP by letting her know that they do not always accomidate families and she needed to take that in to consideration and have a plan B (whether that is splitting up or deplaining or rebooking now for a flight where she can purchase tickets together or whatever). American parents are more protective in these ways than just about any other culture I have ever seen It's true. I don't think I said it was a bad thing (or used the term overprotective)--though you can pick up enough from my posts to tell I do. You probably think it is a good thing. That's fine. But I did not pick up on your words and twist them and say something like you are smothering your child (which I don't think you are--but you apprently do think I am playing the odds in a dangerous way with my own children--not making a general comment but picking out my words exaclty). I just thought the way you said it was rude. I am sorry if my anecdotes about how the train ticket salesman and Hostel office worker reacted offended you I was not trying to offend you, or call you out at all.

You personally may not have stated the OP was entitled. The word has certainly been thrown around on this thread as well as the older one.

Just has you don't feel "i'm smothering", I didn't state you were "putting your children in danger". If these are opinions, then we shouldn't take them personally I do apologize if it came off as "rude" or you felt I was attacking you. Your opinions are most definitely different than my own on this particular topic.

 

[Disneyadore]

But that's EC. The OP is flying, I think AirTran domestically - and this airline charges the same $6 per seat selection for ANY available seat. No premium. I thought of that before I posted

Sorry my mistake. I never flew domestically and reading here I think I will not try to either.Who knows I might end up in a bench flying with the dogs and cats.

 

[Disneyadore]

You WILL start to see airlines charging for lavatory..

The first European airline has launched this idea.
I'm sure in a year we need coins to use the lavatory.

 

[NHdisneylover]

You personally may not have stated the OP was entitled. The word has certainly been thrown around on this thread as well as the older one.

Just has you don't feel "i'm smothering", I didn't state you were "putting your children in danger". If these are opinions, then we shouldn't take them personally I do apologize if it came off as "rude" or you felt I was attacking you. Your opinions are most definitely different than my own on this particular topic.

It's okay--it is that whole tone on the internet thing. What got me was you quoting me and then refering to other posters who said people were entitled or should not ask questions (so it makes it look like you are refering to me saying that) and taking my saying this:

"I looked at the odds and decided it was as good a call as any I could make. We also still drive in cars, and the kids still went to school, and we occassionally made a dash for the car in a rain storm--taking our chances with the lightening., etc.)"

and turning it into this (which does still strike me as a direct insult but now I know that was not your intent):

"As for playing the "odds" as to whether your child will be in an emergency.. and being okay with that. I don't even know what to say"

 

[NHdisneylover]

The first European airline has launched this idea.
I'm sure in a year we need coins to use the lavatory.

Ryaniar is so different though Paying for the toliet on short European flights which cost laughalbly little (as in 20 Euro to Barcelona last time I checked) is much more pallatable than paying for the toliet on a long flight for which you paid a couple hundred dollars or more.

 

[kaytieeldr]

But anyways..I was completely amazed at the opinions of posters on this topic. Either they don't have children or forget the abilites (or lack thereof) of a 4/5 year old. Or they don't really comprehend the dangers involved in air travel and think oh that can't possibly happen to me.

There's no more 'opinion' here from one point of view than the other. Simply because a number of us are realistic enough to know that airlines DO separate families, and try our best to inform and alert parents of the possibility, doesn't make that an opinion.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Maybe attacked wasn't the best word....I guess we were made to feel that there was something wrong with wanting to sit next to them and they should be able to manage on their own. People parent differently and we all have different comfort levels and we shouldn't judge others on them.

It's not wrong to want, even expect, to sit with one's children on a plane. However, it's never guaranteed. Note that this is NOT usually a problem, but people do need to be aware they could be separated from their party if necessary.

Too, it's ALWAYS advisable to select one's seats as soon as possible - even if there is a cost for that.

 

[Drusilla]

Woohoo Lucky girl! I hope you are celebrating

Yes I am celebrating! I also got him to agree to take the kids to the plane lavatory when needed - I just can't stand the smell in there! LOL I must have done something right last night What a great guy I married