Sitting with kids on the plane

[princess momma]

I amazed at how many people here are clueless about flying as a family. I fly for business typically 3-4 times per month and my family travels on trips about every two months that require flights. I have never had a problem having our seats moved so that we could all sit as a family.

When you get to the gate, politely explain the situation to the gatekeeper and they will make accommodations. On the off chance they you get somebody who is not helpful, explain the situation as you board. The stewards want to keep traffic moving and they will do everything possible to accommodate you and get you seated.

That strategy will work in most circumstances, but if you happen to be on a flight full of families who need to switch seating (like a flight to Orlando), it gets a bit more complicated.

 

[RMulieri]

A plausible & reasonable explanation for refusing to move from one aisle seat to another? No. You're right, I don't think there really is such a reason. And if that makes me uncompassionate, fine. But I put the feelings and needs of children ahead of rational, learned adults, whether they are my kid or not. And if they don't "feel the need" to explain their reasoning, then yeah, they can deal with me thinking they suck. Sorry.

The only circumstance I can fathom not giving up my own seat in that situation is if I'm already sitting next to my own fightened, young child. At which point, it would be pretty obvious why I couldn't do it, AND I would explain and express my regret anyway. Because that's the kind of person I am. I don't assume all people are being entitled, or that they were too cheap to pay for an assigned seat, or anything like that. I simply would look at the situation and the fact that they were in a position that would be heartbreaking for me and my children, and I would either switch or explain very kindly why I couldn't. I don't see why on earth that is so much to ask.

And, in case anyone is unclear, I would never "demand" the switch, or ask in a way that sounded like I expected anyone to bow to my whims. I would simply nicely explain the situation and the reasons my child would be better off with me, and ask nicely. So yeah, at that point, if you have no good reason other than not wanting to move, yeah, I think less of you. It's a child. I am so floored on a regular basis by people who want to punish children for the assumed "sins" of their parents. I wish people could look beyond their own pettiness and think of the kids in situations like this. It's not about MOM. It's about a scared little person. Period.

I happen to agree with many of your points.While I understand some of the adults reasoning in this thread.It is still a small child.Maybe your child was ok flying for a few hours unaccompanied, mine would not be, and I think it is seriously wrong of anyone to assume that a 4 or 5 year old should be able to quietly occupy themselves in a seat next to strangers for a couple of hours.ANY child in an unfamiliar environment can act out or be afraid.My 5 yr old can do alot on her own, but still needs alot of help with things, and would be PETRIFIED next to people she doesn't know.By the tone here I am shocked ...I guess alot of people here either don't have kids, have forgotten what it is like to have young kids, or maybe flat out don't care..I am not talking about people that have not paid for seating, I am talking about those of us who do, and still get separated.

 

[crashbb]

I'd gladly let you sit next to my youngest daughter on an airplane. She's been known to scream like a banshee during takeoff and landing. Sitting next to strangers is perfect.

Give people the seats they choose when they book their flight. Problem solved, then we won't need to hold up a flight for 20 minutes.

But, there have been parents on this thread who state that they do/will refuse to pay to select their seats, but still expect to be accommodated beside their children.

So, *these* are the people who are not allowing people to sit in the seats that they choose when they booked their flights.

And these would be the parents with whom many frequent flyers (who get asked to switch their seats) take issue.

 

[princess momma]

But, there have been parents on this thread who state that they do/will refuse to pay to select their seats, but still expect to be accommodated beside their children.

So, *these* are the people who are not allowing people to sit in the seats that they choose when they booked their flights.

And these would be the parents with whom many frequent flyers (who get asked to switch their seats) take issue.

Yeah, I definitely will not take the chance when given the option to guarantee my seat. My kids were 2 and 3 the first time we flew with them, I thought the seats I chose were our seats. I almost didn't get on that plane when I saw that all of us were seated seperately.

I think seats should be given out on a first come, first served basis. Everyone pays what they pay and there won't be any surprises at the airport.

 

[RMulieri]

But, there have been parents on this thread who state that they do/will refuse to pay to select their seats, but still expect to be accommodated beside their children.

So, *these* are the people who are not allowing people to sit in the seats that they choose when they booked their flights.

And these would be the parents with whom many frequent flyers (who get asked to switch their seats) take issue.

But then again you don't know me by looking at me whether I paid for seats or not...I am quite sure it isn't attached to my forehead.So how would you know if I boarded a plane with my kid and we were found to be separated, that maybe I was forced to be separated by the airline and not that I didn't pay for my seats? Unless I am advertising it as I get on the plane you don't...Now if I find when I get to the airport in a few weeks that that had happened, I would take issue with the airline before I even got on the plane, but not everyone does that.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Unless her kids are all over 4, or if SW holds to their 1 parent 1 child under 4 rule.

Kids are much more resilient and up to change than adults any day and I would be willing to bet most would do fine even if as I have read on here the parents think they wouldn't.

I agree. I think the vast majority of children who are frightened on an airplane have picked up on a parent's anxiety or a parent's expectation that they wil be frightened. My snowflakes mean the world to me. I adore them I really, really do. I want to sit with them on a plane. I like that time to have conversations with them and to play games with them. I feel better knowing I am right there if they do need me. But I know they are not any more special than anyone else to everybody else on the flight and contrary to popular belief they did not melt when they had to sit alone (they did not melt down either).

 

[bdiddy]

I amazed at how many people here are clueless about flying as a family. I fly for business typically 3-4 times per month and my family travels on trips about every two months that require flights. I have never had a problem having our seats moved so that we could all sit as a family.

When you get to the gate, politely explain the situation to the gatekeeper and they will make accommodations. On the off chance they you get somebody who is not helpful, explain the situation as you board. The stewards want to keep traffic moving and they will do everything possible to accommodate you and get you seated.

Why does it amaze you? We aren't fliers. I'm 34 and have flown twice in my life. My family has never flown together. Not everyone travels as much as you and your family and I think it is rude to call us "clueless". I'm sure there are many things that you might be "clueless" about. I think uninformed would have been a better word.



And to NHdisneylover - Thank you! And yes I am happy we got our son into therapy so early. All these little quirky things he did sort of added up when we saw him in the preschool environment this fall. We went to our PED and got a referrel to see the OT. He's also going next month for a feeding eval and I'm really hoping they can get him to eat some different things. And for what it is worth I was sort of joking when I said "good luck" to whomever got stuck next to him. But I am very glad I saw this thread because I went ahead and paid the extra $6 a person to get us seats so now I don't have to worry about it.

 

[NHdisneylover]

And to NHdisneylover - Thank you! And yes I am happy we got our son into therapy so early. All these little quirky things he did sort of added up when we saw him in the preschool environment this fall. We went to our PED and got a referrel to see the OT. He's also going next month for a feeding eval and I'm really hoping they can get him to eat some different things. And for what it is worth I was sort of joking when I said "good luck" to whomever got stuck next to him. But I am very glad I saw this thread because I went ahead and paid the extra $6 a person to get us seats so now I don't have to worry about it.

I am so glad you are seeing progress for your little guy. I like that word, "quirky" that's my boy too
I also think it was a good call for you to pay for reserved seats Now you can rest easy.

 

[crashbb]

And to NHdisneylover - Thank you! And yes I am happy we got our son into therapy so early. All these little quirky things he did sort of added up when we saw him in the preschool environment this fall. We went to our PED and got a referrel to see the OT. He's also going next month for a feeding eval and I'm really hoping they can get him to eat some different things. And for what it is worth I was sort of joking when I said "good luck" to whomever got stuck next to him. But I am very glad I saw this thread because I went ahead and paid the extra $6 a person to get us seats so now I don't have to worry about it.

Good idea.

I do, however, suggest you keep an eye on your flight. If there are equipment changes or flight changes, you can "lose" your seats. In which case, call the airline and them (or other) seats back. Not to panic you, just a "better safe than sorry" thing.

BTW - I love the names you gave your kids.

 

[kkmcan]

A few years back we ended up with four center seats all in different parts of the airplane. The kids were 8 and 5 then and I was really freaked out. The airlines rep told us to try and ask when we boarded for someone to switch with us and that should work. DH went with ds and got someone to switch no problem. I was with dd in the back of the plane begging someone to switch with me so we could sit together. No one wanted to switch. I felt like I was going to cry.

I sat dd down and gave her her stuff to do and her snack and was getting into my seat when this lady huffed and said she would switch but she was not very happy about it. She had an aisle seat and didn't want to sit in a center seat. I thanked her profusely! But I felt so awful and I couldn't wait to get off that plane!

Kids are older now but I never wanted to do that again!

 

[Hannathy]

I agree. I think the vast majority of children who are frightened on an airplane have picked up on a parent's anxiety or a parent's expectation that they wil be frightened. My snowflakes mean the world to me. I adore them I really, really do. I want to sit with them on a plane. I like that time to have conversations with them and to play games with them. I feel better knowing I am right there if they do need me. But I know they are not any more special than anyone else to everybody else on the flight and contrary to popular belief they did not melt when they had to sit alone (they did not melt down either).

Yep my snowflakes never melted either. And Now actually ask to not sit with us so they can get the seat they want usually all want windows including my DH so the last time we went to Disney we were all in different rows and this included my 7 yr old. Kids know exactly how to play their parents and usually behave better when they aren't around them, saw it when I taught and when I worked in an ER. I have never sat beside a misbehaving alone child but have been by many out of control kids that were with parents.

I do think that very little ones should be next to a parent and I mean little ones 3 and under, most people will help get this accomplished BUT I also think parents need to be the most responsible for making sure they don't need to ask people and that includes not booking a flight that doesn't have seats together just to save money. It means taking another flight when booking even if it costs more so they get what they need.

 

[DISdreamin']

My kids fly quite a bit (they've logged hundreds of thousands of miles thus far) and I wouldn't want them sitting alone on a flight! While they might do fine, it's always nice to be able to remind them not to bump the tray table if they are using it. Also, their little arms are too short to reach their packs under the seat in front of them without removing their seatbelts, which could be problematic.

The funny thing is the horrified looks I used to get when boarding with two small children. I recall flying once when DD was almost 4, and the woman we were sitting next to all but rolled her eyes that she'd be sitting next to a toddler. Her attitude changed significantly when DD pushed her carryon/backpack under the seat in front of her, sat down, clipped her seatbelt and opened the window shade to watch the goings-on outside.

Still, as seasoned as the little ones are with flying, I don't want them sitting next to strangers alone quite yet! JMHO, of course, but I sympathize with those trying put in that position (or potentially put in that position). In all the flights and all the miles we've logged, we've not had issues.

 

[seashoreCM]

I also don't advocate sitting someones minor child next to someone who desearves for the most part a stressless and peaceful flight.

It cannot be rude to seat your child in his assigned seat without saying anything.

Now if the persons next to yhour child broach the subject and voice their concerns then you may have gotten yourslef a seat switch without even trying.

 

[NotUrsula]

Unless her kids are all over 4, or if SW holds to their 1 parent 1 child under 4 rule.

She said that she is using a carseat, so it's a fair bet that at least one of her kids is no older than four. (SWA's rule is 4 and under, not under 4.) Also, in a circumstance where there is only one adult traveling in the party, SWA will always let any kids in the family who are under about age 12 board with the adult and small one if they want to. Teens they usually figure can manage on their own.

Actually, in practice, if you are using a carseat and do not have an A pass, SWA will let you go with the families even if your child is a bit over the age limit. They do it because of the FAA restrictions on carseat placement. It saves time to let you board with the families rather than take the risk of delaying departure if it turns out that there are no "legal" seats remaining once you get on board, which would necessitate asking others to move. (For this same reason, SWA will also have the FA's block the back two rows of the aircraft if they are expecting passengers from a late connecting flight. That way if those people have carseats, there will be somewhere legal to put them.)

SWA is *all* about turnaround time.

 

[Ctsplaysinrain]

Hello- I've just been randomly reading this thread.. BUT, I have a question- I think I missed something.. When did Southwest start the "prebuying" seats? I was just on WN less than a month ago and I didnt hear anything about this. I flew a short leg on them RDU- MCO.. Also, a long leg MCO-LAS.. When did this start? Also, I was not aware of other airlines that were doing pre-buy either.. We mainly fly WN and AA.

 

[bgohre]

I read the OP and knew exactly where this one was going. Thanks for not letting me down DIS'ers.

 

[crashbb]

Hello- I've just been randomly reading this thread.. BUT, I have a question- I think I missed something.. When did Southwest start the "prebuying" seats? I was just on WN less than a month ago and I didnt hear anything about this. I flew a short leg on them RDU- MCO.. Also, a long leg MCO-LAS.. When did this start? Also, I was not aware of other airlines that were doing pre-buy either.. We mainly fly WN and AA.

SW now has "Early Bird Check In". Basically, you pay $10 to be checked in at 36hrs (instead of 24hrs). It doesn't guarantee you an A boarding pass, but it does guarantee you (assuming no screw ups) a better boarding pass than people checking in at the 24hr mark (not including A-listers or Business Select people).

 

[ajpa]

SW now has "Early Bird Check In". Basically, you pay $10 to be checked in at 36hrs (instead of 24hrs). It doesn't guarantee you an A boarding pass, but it does guarantee you (assuming no screw ups) a better boarding pass than people checking in at the 24hr mark (not including A-listers or Business Select people).

Is that $10 per leg --so $20 on a roundtrip ticket?

Thanks for the info! I guess that means when I compare fares between SW & Airtran, I should factor in +$10/person on SW vs +$15/checked bag on AT.
I'll keep that in mind for future trips.

 

[kaytieeldr]

With respect, did you just advocate for a stranger, or some "joe" being responsible for a child sitting next to them in the event that that said child's parent is sitting 10 rows behind?

Advocate is a strong word. My point was, the typical responsible person WOULD, reasonably, take care of a child's oxygen mask in an emergency - yes, even with the potential for panic.
The typical airline passenger is a lot more mature and reasonable than some who appear to panic over a situation with VERY small, even miniscule, potential seem to fear. First you'd have to have a plane where a child is unable to sit with a parent. Second, and even less likely, you'd have to have a plane with an emergency situation. The resulting intersecting set is really almost invisible.

I would say that most certainly a child sitting by themselves without a parent close by, and I mean within a few seats are most certainly at more risk and inturn less safe

Using that reasoning, the typical unaccompanied minor might as well just jump out the cabin door. Yes, that's overly-dramatic (my statement, I mean) - but according to what you seem to be saying, a seated with a parent is entirely safe; one sitting some seats or rows away is in danger; and one traveling without an adult on the plane might just as well give up entirely.

Of course I have an attitude of they need to behave on planes but if my 3 yr old special needs son is separated from his mother and expected to fend for himself what do you think is going to happen?

If, after using crashbb's seven-step program, you still cannot find seats together, most likely your best - only? - option would be to deplane and take a later flight, even if it cost you more.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Aren't the exit row seats forbidden for children?
I thought they are only for those who can assist at a possible emergency situation.
These seats are the most expensive at least at intercontinental flights.

Yes, children under fifteen are prohibited from the exit rows - but really, that's among the BEST 'trading card' a passenger in need of seats next to their children can hold. Worst case, if no passenger volunteered to switch seats, the Flight Attendants WOULD move people around!!!