Screaming children will not be tolerated!

[Wishing on a star]

IMO there are a lot of grouchy people who just hate kids, as well as many know-it-all parents who enjoy observing other people's kids so that they can talk about how much better their own kids behave.

Okay, now we are getting totally insane and ridiculous again...
With the trying to find the ONE, less common, extenuating circumstance, to validate ones personal feelings.

I dare say that most of the people posting here (the huge percentage of which support this policy and feel that yelling/shrieking is NOT acceptable public behavior) are parents, and have no underlying hatred of children.

Believe me, I can smell kid haters/parent bashers from miles away.
I have very clearly called them out, quite publicly, here on the DIS.

That is not what I am seeing here on this thread.

If you are even beginning to imply that many of us here are 'kid haters' 'parent bashers'....
Or even worse 'THOSE parents'.... because, 'those' parents are the ones who allow their snowflakes to act as they wish, and disturb everyone around them.

PS: NO offense here, at all, but just to be honest... about kids/people from Jersey... I know people who actively and purposefully avoid Jersey Week. Like I said, I am not making a personal attack here... I do not know the OP and do not begin to make any assumptions... But, since 'folks from Jersey' were brought up, by HER... I am making what I would consider to be a fair comment.

Perhaps it is because this person is from this area she is completely de-sensitized to loud inappropriate behavior...

C'mon, I am being facetious here... Joking, people...

 

[Lionqueen2]

Last weekend while we were out of town, we had a dinner ruined by rowdy kids. There were seven adults and three children in the group. If I had to guess, I'd say the children's ages ranged from about 3 to 6 years old.

Those kids screamed, squealed, and yelled the entire time. The adults never said a word to them. Instead, they would laugh at them. One of the adults, I'm assuming he was the father of the two loudest children, was just as loud and annoying.

Unfortunately, the family was there during our entire meal, as they sat around and talked after they were finished eating. By then, the kids were running wild around the dining area, and again, their family was laughing at them.

I love kids, I really do! However, I just don't understand how anyone would think that was appropriate behavior in a public place. Some people are just selfish and rude.

A similar thing happened to us last night. We were out to dinner and were in the booth next to a screaming boy about 7 years old. He was with his grandparents and they did quietly try to correct him, but he wasn't listening to a thing. He also left their booth and ran wildly around the restaurant bothering the other diners. A couple of times he yelled to his grandparents from across the restaurant. I felt bad for the waitresses who had to be careful while they were carrying trays full of dinners since he just ran across in front on them.

 

[JerseyJanice]

If you are even beginning to imply that many of us here are 'kid haters' 'parent bashers'....
Or even worse 'THOSE parents'.... because, 'those' parents are the ones who allow their snowflakes to act as they wish, and disturb everyone around them.

Never meant to imply anything about anyone here. I was just speaking in general. Some of my RL friends seem to forget now how their own kids acted during their toddler years.

PS: NO offense here, at all, but just to be honest... about kids/people from Jersey... I know people who actively and purposefully avoid Jersey Week. Like I said, I am not making a personal attack here... I do not know the OP and do not begin to make any assumptions... But, since 'folks from Jersey' were brought up, by HER... I am making what I would consider to be a fair comment.

Perhaps it is because this person is from this area she is completely de-sensitized to loud inappropriate behavior...

I don't doubt I am de-sensitized to noise. I live in an urban area, and it's just plain noisy here. I imagine that if I lived in a rural setting, I'd find noise in general more disturbing because I wasn't as used to it.

Actually, the only reason I brought people from NJ being in WDW was because of this post you made:

JerseyJanice...

Yes, it is happening....
Enough to make this whole topic a huge, ongoing, national discussion.
This story about this restaurant is starting go big-time.

Something tells me that if you did not notice this during your trip... there are two reasons...

1. you are one of the very very fortunate few who only hear what you want to hear.

It IS September.... My guess is that there are very, VERY, low numbers of children out right now, as schools are back in session.

PS: I LOVE traveling in May or September... There is just NO way to underestimate the huge and wonderful difference that traveling during these two months can make.

Our last trip, this Spring, extended past Memorial day.... OMG what a complete and total different experience during that time-frame. This was also a repeat trip, where DH and I had been a few years ago in the month of September. UNBELIEVABLE.... Just NO comparison. Yes. parallel world/universe.

Bolding one sentence to say that schools up north don't go back in session until just before or after Labor Day. Tons of kids at were at Disney while we were there; I only mentioned where they were from, so you'd understand why there are still lots of kids in WDW in August.

And as far as I can tell, "Jersey" week is avoided because people are worried about it being crowded when they go to WDW. To which I say, don't worry about it! Airfare from Newark for that time-frame is through the roof, so I don't see tons of us heading down that week...this year anyway.

 

[Uncleromulus]

Screaming kids have no place in a restaurant. It's a place to eat and enjoy dinner--it's not a day care center.
Excellent policy!!
And I should add that screaming (and running around) kids in restaurants are what led us to now always eat at the bar whenever that is possible.

 

[momrek06]

What do you guys think of this restaurant policy?

http://www.myfoxboston.com/dpp/news/offbeat/restaurant-bans-screaming-children-20100909

First time posting on this thread and I have not read all the pages BUT it does 'appear' to me this thread has gone way OT.

As far as the restaurant posting that sign about the kiddos ... my thoughts are A++++++++!

No, I do NOT hate kids but I do like to go out to dinner or any meal (for that matter) and enjoy it w/o allot of noisy kiddos. I have two DS', they are in their 20's and I know that when they were little years ago, I would never want to impose on any diners with my kiddos noise. Hence, we spent most of their younger years in places like McDonalds, Burger King, Chucky Cheese, where kids can be kids.

 

[EMom]

I think that its a bunch of crap my son screams all the time and there's nothing I can do about it do they should just deal with it if they said anything to me I would sue them

Is this a joke or Exhibit A "Reasons why I refuse to/am incapable of/don't give a crap about disciplining and/or parenting my child which will result in your complete and utter misery if you have the misfortune to dine the the same restaurant as my shrieking heathens, aka speshul snowflakes of the screaming variety."

I'm hoping for joke, but not betting the farm.

All I know is, I support and would patronize any restaurant that chose to display the "NO SCREAMING CHILDREN WILL BE TOLERATED" sign. Furthermore, my DD would have never been asked to leave. I'd have never let it get to that point. My parents would have never been asked to leave with any of their children. God help us if they had. It's truly NOT that hard, people. It's a question of which group....the parents or the children....is in control.

 

[Planogirl]

I do have the ability to ignore and tune out annoying noise and behavior, but I don't go looking for it either. When I'm in a crowd, I don't seek out poor behavior; I stay focused on my own family.

IMO there are a lot of grouchy people who just hate kids, as well as many know-it-all parents who enjoy observing other people's kids so that they can talk about how much better their own kids behave.

I don't hate kids and I don't see many of the screamers. But there have been a few times when the blood-curdling yells were too distracting to ignore and they never seemed to stop. Those are the kids that need to be controlled by someone IMO and if it takes restaurants changing their policies then so be it.

 

[PatsMom]

I love the restaurant's policy and would patronize it.

When my daughter was a baby, we ate out every week. She would look around the restaurant and seemed to enjoy herself. We frequented the same place most of the time so the servers knew her and would give her crackers and stuff to munch on.

When she was two we happened to go to a local restaurant after we moved to New Hampshire. She was awful! She wanted to run around, screamed when we restrained her, etc. I took her outside while my husband had our food packed up to go and paid the bill. We joke that we didn't eat out again for three years but it is almost the truth! We called in take out orders instead.

When she was five I was sick of takeout so I started training her to eat out. We started with family type restaurants - Friendly's, etc. and did lunch on fairly slow days. Brought crayons and small toys. As she got better, we progressed to dinner. Took her to Disney at five and mostly ate quick service or cooked in our cabin because we really didn't trust her to behave at dinner. But I continued working with her and by the time we returned, she was a pro at eating out! She understood what was acceptable and could go to just about any restaurant as long as we didn't push the lateness of the meal to when she was so tired she had a hard time sitting still. She is 19 now and loves to eat out still.

I now frequently dine out with my 3 year old grandson (not the 19 year old's child - i have older step children). He is very active and doesn't go out to eat much. We tried nicer restaurants but are back at Friendly's where it is pretty casual and kids are the norm. He doesn't yell but sometimes is very, very restless. One of us will take him outside for a bit when that occurs - it is usually while we are waiting for food so someone just texts when it arrives.

Screaming children have no place in a restaurant.

 

[goofyernmost]

I have read a lot of these posts, but, admittedly, not all of them, so I will just express my opinion here.

I don't doubt that there are some behavior problems that can come under the heading of autism, but, as usual, it has been run up to a ridicules level by parents that think that the world must tolerate their child regardless of their behavior, because they have managed to give it a label. What is the number now? I suspect that there are no more then about three kids in the U.S. that haven't been diagnosed with autism and the few remaining have been constantly pursued by a team of Doctors armed with inject-able Ritalin. They will find them eventually.

When did autism start...is it a result of an additive to water? What? Why wasn't it a major factor in the 50's, 60's and 70's. Parents took responsibility for their offspring and made sure that their behavior was acceptable. It is part of parenting. A part of parenting that apparently fewer and fewer parents are willing to accept. My goodness, how can they possibly be a "friend" to their child and set boundaries all at the same time.

If Pavlov could train a dog to drool, certainly we can train our children to behave. (yes, I know I just offended a large group of people because they think I compared their child to a dog. I didn't but explaining that would be fruitless)

I agree that if the parent isn't wise enough to remove the offending child from the scene or not put them there to begin with until they are able to act in a socially acceptable way, then the embarrassment of being asked to leave may work at making that message get through some very thick heads.

In other words...NO, it is not the kids, it is their unfortunate lot in life to be raised by people that are enablers and incapable of teaching their children right from wrong. There will be a severe price to pay for that in the very near future and sadly we all will be paying that tab.

 

[Scurvy]

IMO there are a lot of grouchy people who just hate kids, as well as many know-it-all parents who enjoy observing other people's kids so that they can talk about how much better their own kids behave.

I've encountered a few people who clearly hate kids on various message boards, but typically those people have complained about kids being anywhere in public. They advocate for child-free restaurants rather than "scream-free" restaurants. The mere existance of the children seems to annoy them, regardless of the kids' behavior. (That's not to say that all people who would enjoy child-free restaurants hate kids, just that people who hate kids seem to prefer not to see kids anywhere even if they are well behaved.)

I'm sure that there are also some parents who enjoy feeling as though they are better parents than other people. However, I don't think that being critical of parents who allow their children to scream or run around in a restaurant is any indication that someone is a know-it-all parent who talks about how much better their own kids are. I suspect most parents would simply prefer it if everyone's kids were well behaved and not screaming or running. I certainly would.

Sometimes I think it's easier for some people to use a blanket statement like saying everyone who doesn't approve of little Susie's bad behavior must hate all kids than it would be for them to admit that maybe little Susie's behavior isn't really appropriate. (Not that anyone on this board feels that way, I'm sure. I'm just speaking in general. I see it often on other boards and in real life.) It's as though they want to believe that it isn't personal - of course little Susie is perfect, she just could never be good enough for that child hater. No child could. Or they will convince themselves that other parents have unreasonable expectations and a superiority complex rather than admitting that maybe they aren't trying hard enough to instill good behavior in little Susie. These are the same people who typically start trotting out the trite phrases like "holier than thou" and "high horse" to try to make it look like the people they are disagreeing with are the ones in the wrong.

 

[Magpie]

I have read a lot of these posts, but, admittedly, not all of them, so I will just express my opinion here.

I don't doubt that there are some behavior problems that can come under the heading of autism, but, as usual, it has been run up to a ridicules level by parents that think that the world must tolerate their child regardless of their behavior, because they have managed to give it a label. What is the number now? I suspect that there are no more then about three kids in the U.S. that haven't been diagnosed with autism and the few remaining have been constantly pursued by a team of Doctors armed with inject-able Ritalin. They will find them eventually.

When did autism start...is it a result of an additive to water? What? Why wasn't it a major factor in the 50's, 60's and 70's. Parents took responsibility for their offspring and made sure that their behavior was acceptable. It is part of parenting. A part of parenting that apparently fewer and fewer parents are willing to accept. My goodness, how can they possibly be a "friend" to their child and set boundaries all at the same time.

If Pavlov could train a dog to drool, certainly we can train our children to behave. (yes, I know I just offended a large group of people because they think I compared their child to a dog. I didn't but explaining that would be fruitless)

I agree that if the parent isn't wise enough to remove the offending child from the scene or not put them there to begin with until they are able to act in a socially acceptable way, then the embarrassment of being asked to leave may work at making that message get through some very thick heads.

In other words...NO, it is not the kids, it is their unfortunate lot in life to be raised by people that are enablers and incapable of teaching their children right from wrong. There will be a severe price to pay for that in the very near future and sadly we all will be paying that tab.

It wasn't a major factor in the 50's, 60's and 70's because autistic children were routinely institutionalized. Before that it wasn't called "autism", but it still certainly existed, and again those children were institutionalized. It was popular in those days to blame autism on "cold" mothers and bad parenting.

When my cousin was born in 1980, his parents were told to institutionalize him. In fact, they were told to do this when he was a toddler so they wouldn't "get too attached" to him, as clearly he would never learn to speak or live independently. His parents refused to accept this and found a place in Memphis that was doing "experimental" research on autism. They kept him at home and worked intensively with him, with the help of researchers. Today my cousin not only speaks, but is living in a group home, holding down a job, and is an Eagle Scout (among other things).

We've come SO far since the "bad old days".

And Pavlov did not "train" the dog to drool, he took advantage of a already existing behavior (drooling at the presence of food), and taught the dog to associate the bell with food. The dog drooled at the sound of a bell because he'd learned that the sound of the bell meant food was on the way.

 

[EMom]

And Pavlov did not "train" the dog to drool, he took advantage of a already existing behavior (drooling at the presence of food), and taught the dog to associate the bell with food. The dog drooled at the sound of a bell because he'd learned that the sound of the bell meant food was on the way.

My Mama trained us to equate getting "THE LOOK" with immediately stopping whatever the hell it was we were doing....or thinking about doing. The look was more effective than any bell. Amazingly, Daddy had "THE LOOK" as well. It could freeze us in our tracks.

I bless my parents for passing on a double dominant dose of "THE LOOK" to me. It is truly a gift.

 

[goofyernmost]

It wasn't a major factor in the 50's, 60's and 70's because autistic children were routinely institutionalized. Before that it wasn't called "autism", but it still certainly existed, and again those children were institutionalized. It was popular in those days to blame autism on "cold" mothers and bad parenting.

When my cousin was born in 1980, his parents were told to institutionalize him. In fact, they were told to do this when he was a toddler so they wouldn't "get too attached" to him, as clearly he would never learn to speak or live independently. His parents refused to accept this and found a place in Memphis that was doing "experimental" research on autism. They kept him at home and worked intensively with him, with the help of researchers. Today my cousin not only speaks, but is living in a group home, holding down a job, and is an Eagle Scout (among other things).

We've come SO far since the "bad old days".

And Pavlov did not "train" the dog to drool, he took advantage of a already existing behavior (drooling at the presence of food), and taught the dog to associate the bell with food. The dog drooled at the sound of a bell because he'd learned that the sound of the bell meant food was on the way.

OK, you got me. Damn that Pavlov anyway. All I know is that, yes many children were institutionalized but that was because of severe mental deficiency's and certainly not to the extent that it is identified today. That said I can honestly say that I did not know anyone or any family that had that problem. Some of the kids were considered slow learners but other than that, no special treatment, no special ed, no special treatment other than to let them do the best they could without a medical label.

If, as is now done, children with autism are mainstreamed then it still is the responsibility of the parents to either find a way to maintain control or remove the child from the situation. It is not everyone's challenge. There are rules that we all must live by, autistic or not, that has to be taught. If not then we set them up for one hellish life after mom and dad are no longer in the picture.

 

[kirstenb1]

I have read a lot of these posts, but, admittedly, not all of them, so I will just express my opinion here.

I don't doubt that there are some behavior problems that can come under the heading of autism, but, as usual, it has been run up to a ridicules level by parents that think that the world must tolerate their child regardless of their behavior, because they have managed to give it a label. What is the number now? I suspect that there are no more then about three kids in the U.S. that haven't been diagnosed with autism and the few remaining have been constantly pursued by a team of Doctors armed with inject-able Ritalin. They will find them eventually.

When did autism start...is it a result of an additive to water? What? Why wasn't it a major factor in the 50's, 60's and 70's. Parents took responsibility for their offspring and made sure that their behavior was acceptable. It is part of parenting. A part of parenting that apparently fewer and fewer parents are willing to accept. My goodness, how can they possibly be a "friend" to their child and set boundaries all at the same time.

If Pavlov could train a dog to drool, certainly we can train our children to behave. (yes, I know I just offended a large group of people because they think I compared their child to a dog. I didn't but explaining that would be fruitless)

I agree that if the parent isn't wise enough to remove the offending child from the scene or not put them there to begin with until they are able to act in a socially acceptable way, then the embarrassment of being asked to leave may work at making that message get through some very thick heads.

In other words...NO, it is not the kids, it is their unfortunate lot in life to be raised by people that are enablers and incapable of teaching their children right from wrong. There will be a severe price to pay for that in the very near future and sadly we all will be paying that tab.

First, virtually every parent of a special needs child who has posted here has emphatically stated that they DO NOT tolerate poor behavior from their child, in a restaurant.

Secondly, if you look at statistics from the 50's through the 70's, you'll notice many more children were dx'd as Mentally Retarded. Back then, there were no non-verbal IQ tests. So a non-verbal (ie, frequently autistic) child would test very poorly, and be presumed to be retarded.

Now, with more diagnostic clarity, you see more children dx'd with autism, and less frequently with purely cognitive delays.

I guess I just need to be patient. According to you, all of us will soon be raising a child or grandchild with autism. Soon, you will be surrounded by said children. Then come back and feel free to continue talkiing so dismissively about a truly devastating disorder.

 

[penn19]

My Mama trained us to equate getting "THE LOOK" with immediately stopping whatever the hell it was we were doing....or thinking about doing. The look was more effective than any bell. Amazingly, Daddy had "THE LOOK" as well. It could freeze us in our tracks.

I bless my parents for passing on a double dominant dose of "THE LOOK" to me. It is truly a gift.

Truly, the best trait I received from my Dad. He only had to look at us (like your dad did) and literally would stop in our tracks. I too was blessed with the look. My kids call it snake eyes. And they know when they get snake eyes that they best stop whatever it is they are doing. They also try to get me to give snake eyes to kids they deem out of control/mean etc....

 

[powellrj]

I thought of this thread last night when DH and I went to Red Robin for dinner. It was a kid paradise, I mean wall-to-wall kids and while it was loud and rowdy, thats different than a screaming child.

I knew going in it would be packed with kids because it was dinner time on a friday night, but like I said it was loud but the kids were all well behaved and having a great time. It was almost like we were at a giant birthday party as many times as they sang!!!! We had a great time and the energy was great!

The same can't be said for dinner last weekend at Olive Garden. One little kid ruined the evening for a whole resturant. Luckily we were just being served when they were seated so we didn't witness the whole meal but mom and grandparents were obvious when the kids dumped a plate of pasta over his head and the people behind them and the waitress cleaned it up, the kid thew a handful of pasta on the window and it was still there when we left and then he would intermittently let out huge wails that started low and would build to the finale. They all just sat there ignoring him.

 

[Happy Mom2]

Love it! I have two small kids 5 and under. My children know how to behave in a restaurant. I can only remember my DD pitching a fit once, and I immediately took her outside. She realized she was not going to have an audience, and she would have a lot more fun inside so she settled down, and we never had another issue.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I do have the ability to ignore and tune out annoying noise and behavior, but I don't go looking for it either. When I'm in a crowd, I don't seek out poor behavior; I stay focused on my own family.

IMO there are a lot of grouchy people who just hate kids, as well as many know-it-all parents who enjoy observing other people's kids so that they can talk about how much better their own kids behave.

Well maybe there are grouchy people who hate kids. They are entitled to dislike whatever or whoever they want. That doesn't mean that screaming and screeching should be allowed even if they are falling over themselves in love with kids.
As for know it all parents who enjoy observing other behavior so they can feel good, well, I personally don't sit and watch other parents because I am busy with my own kids making sure they are safe and behaving and to be honest enjoying them. Now if your kid is acting like a wildebeast then it is impossible not to notice. Heck my own kids would notice. I don't think I am some superior parent but when a child is screaming and running around a restaurant and the parents can't be bothered actually parenting then yes, I do think I am better than them because I would not let my kid do that.

 

[doxdogy]

My Mama trained us to equate getting "THE LOOK" with immediately stopping whatever the hell it was we were doing....or thinking about doing. The look was more effective than any bell. Amazingly, Daddy had "THE LOOK" as well. It could freeze us in our tracks.

I bless my parents for passing on a double dominant dose of "THE LOOK" to me. It is truly a gift.

"THE LOOK" is an effective and wonderful tool to use. DH unfortunately, never got the hang of THE LOOK. However, I do inherited my mother's look. My daughter, niece and nephew knew what the look meant and that they had better (in the words of my mom) "straighten up and fly right". In addition they all knew that the words don't make me take you outside, WAS NOT a good thing to hear.

 

[goofyernmost]

First, virtually every parent of a special needs child who has posted here has emphatically stated that they DO NOT tolerate poor behavior from their child, in a restaurant.

Secondly, if you look at statistics from the 50's through the 70's, you'll notice many more children were dx'd as Mentally Retarded. Back then, there were no non-verbal IQ tests. So a non-verbal (ie, frequently autistic) child would test very poorly, and be presumed to be retarded.

Now, with more diagnostic clarity, you see more children dx'd with autism, and less frequently with purely cognitive delays.

I guess I just need to be patient. According to you, all of us will soon be raising a child or grandchild with autism. Soon, you will be surrounded by said children. Then come back and feel free to continue talkiing so dismissively about a truly devastating disorder.

Yea, I know I am truly evil. I was not speaking about the parents that are proactive and that is what this thread is about. But whatever it is, it is my opinion and my business what I think. I shared it, you can accept it as my opinion or not, that is your business but I haven't said anything that I don't stand behind.