Screaming children will not be tolerated!

[cherjp]

Wow . I just spent 2 hours reading all 19 pages of this thread. I tend to do that if I want to respond intelligently and respect everyone who posted before me.

For all the parents in this thread who agree with the restaurant’s policy, I have only one thing to say:

Where the heck do you guys live, because I really want to share a restaurant with you & your family!​

I agree with the restaurant owners. It’s a shame that some people need to be reminded of acceptable public behavior. It should be about common sense and courtesy, but those two things are in very short supply nowadays. The sign is ok too – much better than “Take your screaming progeny out of our restaurant until they learn how to behave!”. After all, you don’t need a sign stating that stealing, fighting, or carnal actions are not permitted – behaving oneself in a restaurant should be a given. If I had to watch a couple playing tonsil hockey while I was trying to have dinner, I'd be just as miffed.

Look, if a child/minor harms me physically or damages my property, the parents are legally responsible for damages. How is making my eardrums bleed or keeping me from an experience I’ve paid for any different? (and to a previous post – chocolate milk on my silk dress = a discussion about restitution or a call to my lawyer)

I’m (pleasantly) surprised to see so many parents who feel so strongly about ensuring that their children behave in public. I don’t have children, but I am not a grouchy child hater either (not all of us non-parents hate kids). There is a certain level of common courtesy that should be adhered to. My home is quiet (just me and the SO), and I do not “tune the noise out” when I’m in a restaurant, nor should I have to – I’m not at an amusement park, I’m trying to eat a dinner I have paid for. If I’m not negatively affecting other diners, then I would only expect that same courtesy to be extended to me. If I was acting a fool in public, I’d hope someone would toss me out on my backside for such abysmal behavior.

When I go out to eat, I seem to be right next to the parents who believe ignoring their misbehaving kids will make the problem disappear. I understand that kids have their moments and not every day is full of pixie dust and sparkles. I will even put up with a short meltdown while a parent attempts to triage a tantrum. But once that doesn’t work, I expect the parent to take responsibility for how their child affects others and remove the little one from the situation. Yes, I’ve had to leave restaurants mid-meal due to parents who apparently were never taught how to behave in public (therefore cannot teach their own kids). It’s not fair to anyone else, adult or kid.

Please know that I don’t necessarily blame the kids – they are only doing what is tolerated by their parents. I do, however, blame the parents for allowing their child to control the situation. The parent should know their children’s thresholds, and whether or not they are capable of being in a public setting. Wonder if these parents consider how their misbehaving kids are affecting the attitudes of the kids who ARE behaving well? I mean, “Hey Mom…that kid gets to act like a dork in public, why can’t I?” and potentially undoing all the good work the parents have done.

I love eating with families and if there’s a particularly great kid around and the opportunity presents itself, I will tell the parent that they have a very well behaved family and that it is appreciated. Well behaved kids don’t usually come like that out of the box, and it takes time and patience by the parents to develop good habits – parents should be recognized for teaching their kids the correct way to interact with people in public.

PS – I also believe that adults who act like butt-ferrets in public should be removed as well. If you’re in public, especially at a family establishment, don’t act as if you’re at a strip club stag party! As an adult, if I want to hear the F bomb every 2 seconds, I’ll just turn on cable.

Thanks for listening.

I live in scotland disneywitch, if you fancy coming over to see my well behaved children/teenagers!!!!!

Great post , well written , totally agree with you

 

[Planogirl]

Wow . I just spent 2 hours reading all 19 pages of this thread. I tend to do that if I want to respond intelligently and respect everyone who posted before me.

For all the parents in this thread who agree with the restaurant’s policy, I have only one thing to say:

Where the heck do you guys live, because I really want to share a restaurant with you & your family!​

I agree with the restaurant owners. It’s a shame that some people need to be reminded of acceptable public behavior. It should be about common sense and courtesy, but those two things are in very short supply nowadays. The sign is ok too – much better than “Take your screaming progeny out of our restaurant until they learn how to behave!”. After all, you don’t need a sign stating that stealing, fighting, or carnal actions are not permitted – behaving oneself in a restaurant should be a given. If I had to watch a couple playing tonsil hockey while I was trying to have dinner, I'd be just as miffed.

Look, if a child/minor harms me physically or damages my property, the parents are legally responsible for damages. How is making my eardrums bleed or keeping me from an experience I’ve paid for any different? (and to a previous post – chocolate milk on my silk dress = a discussion about restitution or a call to my lawyer)

I’m (pleasantly) surprised to see so many parents who feel so strongly about ensuring that their children behave in public. I don’t have children, but I am not a grouchy child hater either (not all of us non-parents hate kids). There is a certain level of common courtesy that should be adhered to. My home is quiet (just me and the SO), and I do not “tune the noise out” when I’m in a restaurant, nor should I have to – I’m not at an amusement park, I’m trying to eat a dinner I have paid for. If I’m not negatively affecting other diners, then I would only expect that same courtesy to be extended to me. If I was acting a fool in public, I’d hope someone would toss me out on my backside for such abysmal behavior.

When I go out to eat, I seem to be right next to the parents who believe ignoring their misbehaving kids will make the problem disappear. I understand that kids have their moments and not every day is full of pixie dust and sparkles. I will even put up with a short meltdown while a parent attempts to triage a tantrum. But once that doesn’t work, I expect the parent to take responsibility for how their child affects others and remove the little one from the situation. Yes, I’ve had to leave restaurants mid-meal due to parents who apparently were never taught how to behave in public (therefore cannot teach their own kids). It’s not fair to anyone else, adult or kid.

Please know that I don’t necessarily blame the kids – they are only doing what is tolerated by their parents. I do, however, blame the parents for allowing their child to control the situation. The parent should know their children’s thresholds, and whether or not they are capable of being in a public setting. Wonder if these parents consider how their misbehaving kids are affecting the attitudes of the kids who ARE behaving well? I mean, “Hey Mom…that kid gets to act like a dork in public, why can’t I?” and potentially undoing all the good work the parents have done.

I love eating with families and if there’s a particularly great kid around and the opportunity presents itself, I will tell the parent that they have a very well behaved family and that it is appreciated. Well behaved kids don’t usually come like that out of the box, and it takes time and patience by the parents to develop good habits – parents should be recognized for teaching their kids the correct way to interact with people in public.

PS – I also believe that adults who act like butt-ferrets in public should be removed as well. If you’re in public, especially at a family establishment, don’t act as if you’re at a strip club stag party! As an adult, if I want to hear the F bomb every 2 seconds, I’ll just turn on cable.

Thanks for listening.

"butt ferrets"

Nice post.

 

[NMAmy]

When exactly what this mythical time in history?

I was wondering this, as well. I'm 48 and my mother worked. My mother is 76 and HER mother worked. And neither of us were snowflakes.

 

[Arielle22]

I was wondering this, as well. I'm 48 and my mother worked. My mother is 76 and HER mother worked. And neither of us were snowflakes.

I'm 44 and my mom was a stay at home mom (back when she was called a housewife). Her mom was also a SAHM. We were not snowflakes. I have 7 siblings and my nana lived with us. She was a stern woman who would not put up with us sassing her.

 

[Disneyadore]

I was wondering this, as well. I'm 48 and my mother worked. My mother is 76 and HER mother worked. And neither of us were snowflakes.

Well not the whole world has always been depending on two incomes. In my part of the world working women became common a year of 20-25 ago. Before that it was simply "not done" that a married woman worked.
As soon as a female teacher married so got fired.
But...... my point was that even than snowflakes existed even when the mom was at home and putting a child in daycare or with a nanny has no relation to being a snowflake.

 

[WheresFigment?]

It's a discussion...and a sharing of thoughts and experiences. I chose to share my opinions. I would hope that could be done with respect and not in a condesending manner.
I believed your reply was argumentative in nature. It was "inferred". Perhaps wrongly... then perhaps much same way you seem to think I "inferred" that only day care kids scream in restaurants. Let me make this clear..I do NOT think only daycare children scream in restaurants. That's just ridiculous.
I am sorry if you were offended or objected to my post. Certainly, that was not my intent AT ALL.

You know, this was several pages ago now, but I feel compelled to respond to the daycare debate. I was raised in daycare, from age 1 month through to kindergarten, and even after that I went to after school. Both my parents were career focused, wealthy individuals, who felt that since they could afford to see to my care and still keep their jobs, it was a perfectly valid option.

And I agree with them. I was socialized very early on, and I got great EDUCATIONAL playtime, every day. I got a nap, I got fed, I got a consistent routine, I spent all day with my friends. Because my parents were wealthy, I ate at nice restaurants, flew all the time, went to plenty of "adult" places on vacation and on the weekends. My daycare instilled complete mealtime manners from a very young age. I had an at home nanny from age 8 to 12 as well.

There is something to be said for knowing what type of parent you might be and recognizing that if you can't provide the best parenting, maybe paying someone who can do some of it for you isn't the worst thing in the world. I grew up a very worldly, independent, well mannered child and my parents gave me the best of everything. I can't agree that there is a correlation between daycare and bad behavior. The only correlation is how parents ALLOW their children to act in particular situations. I was always treated as an adult and as such, I always behaved as an adult.

Of course, because of it I have pretty much zero tolerance for bad behavior. Your kid won't end up emotionally disturbed because you sent it to daycare, hired a nanny, yelled at it, spanked it, or anything else that seems to be so passe these days. There are whole generations of people who turned out just fine. Treat your child like an adult and they will act like an adult. Continually treat a child like an infant and make excuses for the behavior, and they will continue to act like an infant.

I support restaurants that ask all their patrons to behave appropriately. ALL of their patrons. I support parents who do the best they can with what they've got. It's a full time job, 24/7 365 and I understand it wears on you and you just want a break, but please don't do it at the expense of your kids. You really are teaching them every moment you spend with them.

 

[java]

I wish I could have that sign in my house. So yes I applaud it. I am amazed at things people let their kids do in restaurants in the "oh it's so cute" style.

My kids have been going to restaurants since birth and know how to behave. Now if I could just get them to do that at home.

 

[Ava]

My kids have been going to restaurants since birth and know how to behave.

I haven't read the whole thread but had to comment...

My DD's first visit to a restaurant was at 10 days old - it was Mother's Day & we went out for brunch. She slept in her sling the whole time! Those were the days... now she actually expects food of her own & attention when we're eating out... the nerve.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

You know, this was several pages ago now, but I feel compelled to respond to the daycare debate. I was raised in daycare, from age 1 month through to kindergarten, and even after that I went to after school. Both my parents were career focused, wealthy individuals, who felt that since they could afford to see to my care and still keep their jobs, it was a perfectly valid option.

And I agree with them. I was socialized very early on, and I got great EDUCATIONAL playtime, every day. I got a nap, I got fed, I got a consistent routine, I spent all day with my friends. Because my parents were wealthy, I ate at nice restaurants, flew all the time, went to plenty of "adult" places on vacation and on the weekends. My daycare instilled complete mealtime manners from a very young age. I had an at home nanny from age 8 to 12 as well.

There is something to be said for knowing what type of parent you might be and recognizing that if you can't provide the best parenting, maybe paying someone who can do some of it for you isn't the worst thing in the world. I grew up a very worldly, independent, well mannered child and my parents gave me the best of everything. I can't agree that there is a correlation between daycare and bad behavior. The only correlation is how parents ALLOW their children to act in particular situations. I was always treated as an adult and as such, I always behaved as an adult.

Of course, because of it I have pretty much zero tolerance for bad behavior. Your kid won't end up emotionally disturbed because you sent it to daycare, hired a nanny, yelled at it, spanked it, or anything else that seems to be so passe these days. There are whole generations of people who turned out just fine. Treat your child like an adult and they will act like an adult. Continually treat a child like an infant and make excuses for the behavior, and they will continue to act like an infant.

I support restaurants that ask all their patrons to behave appropriately. ALL of their patrons. I support parents who do the best they can with what they've got. It's a full time job, 24/7 365 and I understand it wears on you and you just want a break, but please don't do it at the expense of your kids. You really are teaching them every moment you spend with them.

This is totally off topic so forgive me.
I am genuinely curious about what you posted about your upbringing. So I am not being snarky at all when I ask- are you close to your parents? Meaning, are they warm people or the people you run to when you have a problem that you want to talk about? I don't really understand the kind of upbringing you had. I don't have any opinion of it but I cannot relate so I am curious. If you don't want to answer I can understand.

 

[ntsammy5]

 

[WheresFigment?]

This is totally off topic so forgive me.
I am genuinely curious about what you posted about your upbringing. So I am not being snarky at all when I ask- are you close to your parents? Meaning, are they warm people or the people you run to when you have a problem that you want to talk about? I don't really understand the kind of upbringing you had. I don't have any opinion of it but I cannot relate so I am curious. If you don't want to answer I can understand.

I have no problem answering. My parents and I are not close in the sense that I would consider them best friends or anything like that. They didn't really buy into the 80s idea that parents should be their children's friends. My dad was always more of the parenting type than my mom was, and I am much closer to him than to my mother.

My parents were very strict, so I think that changed the dynamic a lot more than simply being a "daycare kid" did. My father is a very warm, kind person-- my mother is very careerist, self centered, etc so she and I are not that close, but I am not sure she is that close to anyone. My parents never got married and ended up separating when I was in high school.

I think that sometimes I have equal trouble understanding the highly involved lifestyle of the stay at home parent, so I get where you're coming from. My cousins, for example, grew up with their mother super-involved and even now (one in college, the other graduated and living with her boyfriend) the mother comes to dinner at their house at least once a week. I talk to my dad via email daily, but maybe only talk to my mother on the phone once a week, if that, and only visit with either of them very occasionally, even though we live close to each other. It's just a different attitude I think-- my parent's job was to raise me and send me on my way, and they did, so they're both happy with their empty nest lifestyles and I'm happy with my new young adult life apart from them. I think we're that way because to some extent we always had lives that were separate from each other-- them at work during the day, and me at daycare, then school, then boarding school, then college.

 

[ozarkmom]

I think it's sad that a restaurant even needs to put up a sign stating what should be common sense. Nothing worse than sitting next to a screaming kid in a restaurant.

Exactly!

 

[Angelhalo]

Good for them! I think it is wonderful!