S/O: Angel Trees- Long, winded VENT

[momxx5]

Oh, I was really trying to stay out of this......

Vent away here, because if you talk/act like this in front of your kids you surely are not setting a good example of someone with compassion and giving.

For those compaining about the "wishes". Are you in a position to judge other people? I am not judging you, but inquiring.

Also, if you do not like how the system works, why not dedicate some time into helping these assistance programs? You could help allocate the gifts, you could be the bargain shopper who find a great deal on the PSP, you could be one to deliver to the families......the list is endless of volunteers needed.

Please give with open hearts. I'm sure that food stamps are traded, gift cards are swapped and winter coats are returned. Should that stop us all from giving? It will not stop me. I pick out the gifts with excitement. I Christmas morning I stop to reflect for a moment how blessed I am and to think of my "angel" opening their presents.

Lastly, if you don't like what you see on the Angel Tree, etc. ....the DON"T look. Just find a different way to help or make yourself feel better.

Blessings to all.
Wishing a Happy New Year to all!

 

[Anjelica]

Eight year old kids should know better as well - mine do (mine are nine and ten now - so just past that age). They don't ask their grandparents or aunts and uncles or parents for expensive gifts.

(They did ask Santa for ridiculous things - Santa being magic - but we explained to him that Santa's magic didn't extend to getting a pony or a swimming pool).

 

[mickeyboat]

Eight year old kids should know better as well - mine do (mine are nine and ten now - so just past that age). They don't ask their grandparents or aunts and uncles or parents for expensive gifts.

(They did ask Santa for ridiculous things - Santa being magic - but we explained to him that Santa's magic didn't extend to getting a pony or a swimming pool).

But your kids have had a lot of guidance in this area. These kids may not have. Plus the guidelines of the program may not have been made clear to the kids. Yes, the parents may be jerks trying to score a Wii to sell for crack, but that doesn't make the kids greedy and ungrateful.

 

[Handbag Lady]

We've adopted a family at work.

There are four children and one mother. The organization gave us a list, with first names, sizes, wants and needs.

The mom had listed for needs cleaning supplies, bras, warm sweaters, a jacket, etc. For wants, she listed a purse, cooking things, and Christmas decorations for the family.

For the kids, under needs were warm clothing, bedding, etc. For wants, they had skateboards, skates, dolls, science and learning books, and Hannah Montana stuff!

All I can say is thank goodness I am on their shopping committee!!!! I went over the weekend to a discounted clothing store, spoke with the manager, and bought $4 warm coats for the kids, $12 stylish warm coat for the mom, and matching sweater and scarf. I then got some good deals at Marshalls for a nice purse, kitchen towels, and bras.

WHERE DO I FIND INEXPENSIVE BIKES! (Of course safety is a factor so I'm going to be careful.)




Honestly, I think kids are kids. If the cool toy is a $1000 gizmo, they all want it, regardless of their economic status. I think you can just tell if the parents fill out the form or if the kids are just given one section. They might not know it is charity.

Santa doesn't care.

 

[crisi]

Oh, I was really trying to stay out of this......

Vent away here, because if you talk/act like this in front of your kids you surely are not setting a good example of someone with compassion and giving.

For those compaining about the "wishes". Are you in a position to judge other people? I am not judging you, but inquiring.

Also, if you do not like how the system works, why not dedicate some time into helping these assistance programs? You could help allocate the gifts, you could be the bargain shopper who find a great deal on the PSP, you could be one to deliver to the families......the list is endless of volunteers needed.

Please give with open hearts. I'm sure that food stamps are traded, gift cards are swapped and winter coats are returned. Should that stop us all from giving? It will not stop me. I pick out the gifts with excitement. I Christmas morning I stop to reflect for a moment how blessed I am and to think of my "angel" opening their presents.

Lastly, if you don't like what you see on the Angel Tree, etc. ....the DON"T look. Just find a different way to help or make yourself feel better.

Blessings to all.
Wishing a Happy New Year to all!

Did you really just insult everyone who doesn't agree with you, insinuate they are bad parents, judge them for judging and then try and cover it up with your blessing? Wow.

 

[crisi]

But your kids have had a lot of guidance in this area. These kids may not have. Plus the guidelines of the program may not have been made clear to the kids. Yes, the parents may be jerks trying to score a Wii to sell for crack, but that doesn't make the kids greedy and ungrateful.

My experience is that disadvantaged kids learn the game faster than anyone - they can't afford to be innocent.

 

[Anjelica]

Oh, I was really trying to stay out of this......

Vent away here, because if you talk/act like this in front of your kids you surely are not setting a good example of someone with compassion and giving.

For those compaining about the "wishes". Are you in a position to judge other people? I am not judging you, but inquiring.

Also, if you do not like how the system works, why not dedicate some time into helping these assistance programs? You could help allocate the gifts, you could be the bargain shopper who find a great deal on the PSP, you could be one to deliver to the families......the list is endless of volunteers needed.

Please give with open hearts. I'm sure that food stamps are traded, gift cards are swapped and winter coats are returned. Should that stop us all from giving? It will not stop me. I pick out the gifts with excitement. I Christmas morning I stop to reflect for a moment how blessed I am and to think of my "angel" opening their presents.

Lastly, if you don't like what you see on the Angel Tree, etc. ....the DON"T look. Just find a different way to help or make yourself feel better.

Blessings to all.
Wishing a Happy New Year to all!

Again - how do "you" know that the same people stating what they have seen in terms of their Angel tree with high priced items aren't the same people putting $100.00 bills in the salvation army kettles? We don't know - nor am I going to venture a guess.

I think your post was a bit of a poke and run - sorry but you get on people being judgemental (which again most of the posts on here are not - just stating I don't like xx so I'm not going to give yy to zz party) and yet you clearly state that "because if you act/talk like this in front of your kids..." seems a little like the pot calling the kettle black.

 

[twinmomplus2new]

I am sorry but I can't understand the mentality of putting an item that costly on a Wish list.
If my kids say wanted A WII. and Asked someone else be it grampa, Aunt Uncle whatever for it. You can bet it would NOT happen. Its not appropriate.
2 years ago when My SIL tried to buy twins ds's each a DS . the answer was absolutely not.
First off My kids are very aware that Santa has a budget for each of them. here its 300 dollars. That is what they may budget up to.

When they ask why Johnny or Susie got 1200 dollars worth of things?/ Well thats becasue The parents make the final choice about how much is appropriate for thier own family.
In this house our parental choice is 300.

Maybe someone lses is $50. maybe 1500.
It is ok to not get your wish. Not every wish is attainable.

I started a thread a few days ago about something similar. and Have to say I am soured on the experience. my total this year will be 30 spent on 2 items. one 15 dollar item for each child. period thats it.

All families are differant. Period.

 

[dclfun]

Just to follow up on my post, I am still brought to tears with the memory of what we received from that high school group. From what the social worker told me, we were the family they had chosen to adopt, so I don't think any other families had to suffer. She had made a list of needy families and found sponsors. The only good thought about it is that due to our circumstances we DID have people in our lives who gave my children things they would want and I had the good sense to look through the packages before placing them under the tree. If another family had been adopted by the high school perhaps those would have been their only "gifts" and perhaps their children would have been crying and devastated on Christmas morning to receive a wrapped cracker/taco sauce packet. To this day my kids don't know anything about the incident but my heart broke FOR them. After the holidays I did let the social worker know about the "gifts" to prevent future families from being hurt. I guess my point too was that you don't know the face behind the wish or the circumstance behind the wish on that angel tree. Here we were with both parents having life threatening illnesses with one terminally ill. Neither of us could work due to no fault of our own and both of us had repeated hospitalizations that drove up our bills to the breaking point. Four young children had to watch their father slowly dying and see their mother going from walking to wheelchair to ventilator and not know whether I would survive either. We weren't people who lived an irresponsible lifestyle, crack addicts, etc. We had a real and sincere need just that one year. It might be the first and only time some of these kids are needing a little magic in their lives. Not to say any of us though should exceed our own budget to provide something we can't afford, but please don't judge the families and kids whose names are on the tree. We can't know what their lives are like or what they're going through.---Kathy

 

[rumrunnergirl]

That is AWFUL. I wonder if those teens did that to any other families? I'm sorry that you were treated so insensitively. I kind of hope the organizer of that group found out about what the kids did somehow. I'd hate for that to continue.

I don't think the fault lies with the teens, or as the OP posted, the teens "thinking that poor people would be happy with crackers and taco sauce". The teens could have been CLUELESS as to proper gift-buying, and the responsibility for checking their gifts before they went to the OP is with the adult in charge of that project. The teens should have been provided with a list of items to buy, money to buy them, and a responsible adult in charge of them.

I'm really sorry the OP went thru that, and thank heavens she checked the packages first, but I imagine the teens felt bad also when they got a talking to from the adult (who needed a talking-to also!). The teens could have thought "less fortunate family = homeless man living on streets". Many kids/teens have NO exposure to those less fortunate than them, other than occasionally seeing a news story or driving by a man pushing a shopping cart down the street and having their parent make a not-nice comment about it.

 

[cruellababy]

Oh, I was really trying to stay out of this......

Vent away here, because if you talk/act like this in front of your kids you surely are not setting a good example of someone with compassion and giving.

For those compaining about the "wishes". Are you in a position to judge other people? I am not judging you, but inquiring.

Also, if you do not like how the system works, why not dedicate some time into helping these assistance programs? You could help allocate the gifts, you could be the bargain shopper who find a great deal on the PSP, you could be one to deliver to the families......the list is endless of volunteers needed.

Please give with open hearts. I'm sure that food stamps are traded, gift cards are swapped and winter coats are returned. Should that stop us all from giving? It will not stop me. I pick out the gifts with excitement. I Christmas morning I stop to reflect for a moment how blessed I am and to think of my "angel" opening their presents.

Lastly, if you don't like what you see on the Angel Tree, etc. ....the DON"T look. Just find a different way to help or make yourself feel better.

Blessings to all.
Wishing a Happy New Year to all!

This post makes complete sense. It's time to put the "Christ" aspect back into Christmas- and that means helping the less fortunate. If YOU don't LIKE; or feel they DESERVE the expensive items that are being wished for-BY A CHILD!!! Then don't take the angel!!

 

[rumrunnergirl]

Not one person who said they wouldn't buy a high-ticket item has said that the children don't DESERVE the item. Not one. They've only said that they think it's too expensive and impractical and that the child's WISHES (yes! WISHES!!) are more likely to be filled by asking for something not so expensive.

19 million people are out of work, and many still want to help others, and many children (poor or not) want a Wii or something similar, and it's not going to happen. It's not a matter of DESERVING.

 

[cruellababy]

It's all about deserving- yes, feeling like "Well, these kids should be happy with a coloring book, or hannah montana doll and some mittens" And, If my own kid doesn't have a Wii-how ridiculous-that this kid wants/wishes for one. Well- MHO- is that these kids are more DESERVING than the kids who have warm homes, good meals,parents to love/care for them,take them to WDW,nice clothes etc. These are KIDS who are wishing for what ALL KIDS want this year! These kids are living day to day what I wouldn't wish on anyone-making someones most magical wish come true-someone; a child-is the true meaning of Christmas.

 

[Kit'smommy]

I personally cringe when I see the any of the angels asking for a Wii or anything in a similar price range. I would rather see that amount of money go to buying something nice and reasonably priced for a number of children than one child getting an expensive game station that still needs expensive games to be usable and others getting nothing.

However, I don't have any issue with a child asking for an MP3 player or a watch or even a pair of diamond earrings. Inexpensive versions of all the above items can be found easily.

 

[Anjelica]

It's all about deserving- yes, feeling like "Well, these kids should be happy with a coloring book, or hannah montana doll and some mittens" And, If my own kid doesn't have a Wii-how ridiculous-that this kid wants/wishes for one. Well- MHO- is that these kids are more DESERVING than the kids who have warm homes, good meals,parents to love/care for them,take them to WDW,nice clothes etc. These are KIDS who are wishing for what ALL KIDS want this year! These kids are living day to day what I wouldn't wish on anyone-making someones most magical wish come true-someone; a child-is the true meaning of Christmas.

Why does ANY child "deserve" a present? The entitlement sense you get from alot of kids AND adults these days, even as young as 5, is what is wrong with society today. Just because we can afford things certainly does not mean my daughter and son are "deserving" of it. And to say a child is "more" deserving than others because they are in the "need" category for that particular Christmas seems pretty "out there".

Many children don't grow up with expensive electronics and still are wonderful human beings - they don't seem to be permanently damaged by NOT getting a PS or Nintendo at Christmas. To me - Christmas is about spending time with family and friends. It's not about the stuff nor should it ever be necessarily about the stuff.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

I don't think the fault lies with the teens, or as the OP posted, the teens "thinking that poor people would be happy with crackers and taco sauce". The teens could have been CLUELESS as to proper gift-buying, and the responsibility for checking their gifts before they went to the OP is with the adult in charge of that project. The teens should have been provided with a list of items to buy, money to buy them, and a responsible adult in charge of them.

I think you overestimate the naivete of these teenagers. Responsibility needs to be learned early and if, by the time they become teenagers, they don't know that it's inappropriate, rude and mean to give anyone crackers and taco sauce, then I blame the parents. Yes, I believe the adult in charge of this collection should have had the smarts to check what was donated, but I think these teens were being wise***es and should have gotten a swift kick in the *** for what they did.

 

[cruellababy]

Why does ANY child "deserve" a present? The entitlement sense you get from alot of kids AND adults these days, even as young as 5, is what is wrong with society today. Just because we can afford things certainly does not mean my daughter and son are "deserving" of it. And to say a child is "more" deserving than others because they are in the "need" category for that particular Christmas seems pretty "out there".

Many children don't grow up with expensive electronics and still are wonderful human beings - they don't seem to be permanently damaged by NOT getting a PS or Nintendo at Christmas. To me - Christmas is about spending time with family and friends. It's not about the stuff nor should it ever be necessarily about the stuff.

Well then I am out there. Christmas is about sharing of ourselves w others- I never said that growing up without expensive electronics would damage anyone; or turn them into a serial killer These kids that are benefitting from the Angel trees are not going to have what we can consider a normal Christmas; doesn't it make sense then to try to make their "wishes" come true for them? And if you don't like what they're asking for then don't look at the d*** tree!

 

[wall*e2008]

I don't think the fault lies with the teens, or as the OP posted, the teens "thinking that poor people would be happy with crackers and taco sauce". The teens could have been CLUELESS as to proper gift-buying, and the responsibility for checking their gifts before they went to the OP is with the adult in charge of that project. The teens should have been provided with a list of items to buy, money to buy them, and a responsible adult in charge of them.

I'm really sorry the OP went thru that, and thank heavens she checked the packages first, but I imagine the teens felt bad also when they got a talking to from the adult (who needed a talking-to also!). The teens could have thought "less fortunate family = homeless man living on streets". Many kids/teens have NO exposure to those less fortunate than them, other than occasionally seeing a news story or driving by a man pushing a shopping cart down the street and having their parent make a not-nice comment about it.

The teens knew better and may have done it as a joke. The Adult who was overseeing the program was also at fault for not checking. What horrible gifts. Only a little kid would think that crackers as a nice gift, since they loved crackers.

So sorry this happened to your family.

 

[Nalla]

The person we pulled from the tree at church wanted a toaster and grocery store gift card. Seems fair to me.
Also if the things on the trees are what kids want, isn't it possible they just don't have a good grasp on the concept on how much things cost? I mean, yeah, their parents should have helped them with it, but it could just be a kid not understanding that a Wii is very expensive.

 

[allison443]

Not one person who said they wouldn't buy a high-ticket item has said that the children don't DESERVE the item. Not one. They've only said that they think it's too expensive and impractical and that the child's WISHES (yes! WISHES!!) are more likely to be filled by asking for something not so expensive.

19 million people are out of work, and many still want to help others, and many children (poor or not) want a Wii or something similar, and it's not going to happen. It's not a matter of DESERVING.

I think you make a good point that is being overlooked by a lot of posters. Many posters have said they want to help, they want to donate, but maybe they planned to give $25 or $50 at this time, to this particular cause. Then they see the angel tree is asking for wii, playstation, diamond earrings...they feel like their intended contribution is "meager" or not good enough. So they don't donate at all to the angel tree...it just seems like the organizers should have enough sense not to turn away any donations, kwim? (Okay, the crackers and taco sauce should definitely have been turned away! )