Rude Host or Rude Guest?

[va32h]

Part of my recent trip to So. California and Disneyland included a stop in Las Vegas to stay with my sister and BIL.

My BIL is a very frugal person, and in his effort to save money, he has his thermostat set at 80 degrees during the day. (Fine for him and my sister, they go to work in their office all day long).

He also has a timer on the hot water heater - after 9 am, no hot water until 8pm, when the hot water is on long enough to do a load or two of dishes. (Although given the heat, the cold showers felt pretty good!)

With daytime temperatures soaring over 100 degrees, my kids (ages 10, 6, and 2) and I were quite miserable during the day. And trying to get to sleep was even worse. We'd lay on top of the covers, in the least amount of clothing possible, and still be boiling. One night my oldest dd complained of nausea and dizziness, I had to apply cold washcloths and give her tons of water to get her feeling better.

Sister and BIL have a portable AC in their bedroom, so they slept fine! I mentioned to my sister that we were really uncomfortable with the heat, and she turned the AC on for us, but as soon as BIL would come home, he'd crank it back up.

So after 2 nights of this, I asked my sister to take us to a nearby hotel, which I would pay for (I didn't have a car at my disposal or I would have just left).

She was really upset, and refused to take us, saying that would defeat the whole purpose of the visit, and that I was being "too picky", and that it wasn't "that bad".

So we stayed for two more nights, still hot and miserable, and now with a grumpy hostess to boot.

So who was wrong? My cheapskate BIL for not spending a few bucks to make his company comfortable, or me for wanting to stay somewhere where we could be comfortable?

 

[hentob]

So who was wrong? My cheapskate BIL for not spending a few bucks to make his company comfortable, or me for wanting to stay somewhere where we could be comfortable?

OMG! Your BIL was in the wrong for sure. Is your sister afraid of her husband that she didn't speak up?

I would have called a taxi to take me to a nice, air conditioned hotel

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

Those Las Vegas temperatures are brutal. I am surprised at how poor a host your BIL turned out to be, especially as there were children involved. I guess you could have offered to pay them for the cost of running the ac but they should have tried to make their guests comfortable. I'm with you on this one.

 

[Philadisney]

you were absolutely right. you should have gotten the heck out of there, considering how ill your child was feeling can't believe some people would be so inconsiderate to their family members, especially small children.

 

[goofy's friends]

OMG! Your BIL was in the wrong for sure. Is your sister afraid of her husband that she didn't speak up?

I would have called a taxi to take me to a nice, air conditioned hotel

Exactly!!!

 

[Nancy]

I'm going with the BIL! If they thought it wasn't that bad then they should have given up their room for you and the kids and slept in the 80 degree bedroom. If I were you I would have called a taxi and gone to the hotel and told my sister if she wanted to spend time with me to come to the hotel where the room was cool and you had hot water during the day.

And if not that then your sister should have told her husband that for a few days he could suck up and make his guests comfortable, not so miserable they want to leave.

 

[pixiepower1971]

OMG! That sounds just like my MIL! I refuse to EVER stay at her house again! We left her house early last visit because the kids and I were so HOT!


Your BIL sounds like a very self centered person...just like my MIL.
Sorry to hear your visit was so bad...I know how unpleasant that was!

 

[hentob]

So we stayed for two more nights, still hot and miserable, and now with a grumpy hostess to boot.

Just re-read this--Wow..I would be miffed if a sibling was grumpy b/c I wanted to go to a hotel for the health of my children. She seems quite selfish herself. Do you guys not get along? Is she nice to your children? That just seems weird.

 

[AC7179]

Sounds like my parents---well, I mean they would have changed it, but they keep their house at that temp in the summer.

I think it's all what you are used to.

You said it was set to 80 during hte day---what was it set on at night?

 

[disykat]

Although I guess you can't require your hosts to keep their temperature where you would be comfortable (a good host would try to do this), your sister was out of line not accomodating your request to take you to a hotel. I think you were as polite as you could be under the circumstances.

What a miserable trip. I can't believe they ran the air conditioner in their own room, but expected you to stay at the high setting they use when the house is unoccuppied! I would assume this meant you weren't welcome there, so I'm surprised they wouldn't allow you to leave.

 

[ducklite]

My A/C is always set between 70 and 80. I don't think it's hot at all.

I'm not sure how your daughter was so hot that she was nauseus and dizzy in 80 degree temps.

Sorry your trip wasn't as good as you would have liked.

Anne

 

[va32h]

Just re-read this--Wow..I would be miffed if a sibling was grumpy b/c I wanted to go to a hotel for the health of my children. She seems quite selfish herself. Do you guys not get along? Is she nice to your children? That just seems weird.

My sister adores my children, she is the one who paid for us to travel to California and visit DLR. We do get along fine for the most part, but she can be controlling.

She was upset because she felt that we wouldn't spend enough time with her if we were in a hotel (she'd have to come home from work, then go to a hotel, and with Vegas traffic being so bad it would take an hour, etc.)

And I think she really didn't think it was that bad. We grew up in Arizona, and used to live in Vegas ourselves, so theoretically I suppose we would be used to the heat. But we always kept the AC on 24-7! I also think she expected me to be more sympathetic, because my BIL is a jerk when it comes to money.

 

[va32h]

You said it was set to 80 during hte day---what was it set on at night?

80 day and night, although I suppose the indoor temp could have gone below 80 at night without the AC - I wasn't checking the thermostat on a regular basis. I just know it was hot and stuffy.

 

[MELSMICE]

Your BIL was a very poor host. How horrible that you were that uncomfortable when you should have been having a nice time.

Also, I hate to bash your sister, but if she wanted to spend that much time with you she should have taken a few days off of work. I would have moved to the hotel regardless of what she said. JMO!

 

[hentob]

My A/C is always set between 70 and 80. I don't think it's hot at all.

I'm not sure how your daughter was so hot that she was nauseus and dizzy in 80 degree temps.

Sorry your trip wasn't as good as you would have liked.

Anne

Maybe she is used to central air? Maybe she wasn't feeling well to begin with and the heat added to her illness?

Bottom line, the inconsiderate host and hostess used an AC in their room, but would not allow the AC to be on in order to cool their guests.

 

[hentob]

My sister adores my children....

But she knew your daughter was sick and didn't want to help make her feel better by cooling the house down?

I don't know--I would be very upset by this. My children and their health ALWAYS come first. I know you said she is controlling, but to a point where you have to be applying cold washcloths to a sick child?

 

[ktpool]

Hosts were wrong...and I would feel very uncomfortable in an 80 degree house trying to sleep or even just being comfortable.

BTW - 70 degrees and 80 degrees is a fairly big change in comfort level, in my opinion.

 

[va32h]

I'm not sure how your daughter was so hot that she was nauseus and dizzy in 80 degree temps.

She said she was dizzy and sick to her stomach. I took her word for it. Obviously, I didn't think it was an emergency, or I would have taken her to the dr. Perhaps she was being a dramatic pre-teen, but her discomfort was obvious.

Also, I hate to bash your sister, but if she wanted to spend that much time with you she should have taken a few days off of work. I would have moved to the hotel regardless of what she said. JMO!

She had already taken time off to go with us to Disneyland. It was actually cheaper for us to fly into Vegas and drive to CA rather than fly directly to CA.

But if we do a trip like that again, we will stay in a hotel right from the start. Or we'll just come in the fall!

 

[hlbtimes2]

I think I would have offered the BIL $50 to run the A/C during my visit. It would have been cheaper then a hotel, more the covered the cost of the a/c for a couple days, and would have made you comfortable.

I'm really curious on the cost effectiveness of having the hot water tank on a timer. It sort of seems like the water would cool down so far during the "off" time that it would have to work longer to heat it back up, ending up using the same amount of power in the end.

 

[sugarpie]

That is absolutely terrible !!! You should always do whatever you can to make a guest feel welcome. And that's no way to treat family.

My mom and I drove to Mount Rushmore with my aunt a while back & my aunts car broke down halfway there. She expected us to pay for half of the repair costs! And we had payed forall the gas! Some people are so tight with their money.