Rude Host or Rude Guest?

[Florida_Mom]

This Florida girl finds 80 degrees way too hot for inside a house! My DH always tries to set the thermostat to 78, but no way....76 for me! I guess I would have been an ungracious guest because I would have been sneaking around that house to the thermostat and lowering it myself!

 

[Planogirl]

We keep our thermostat set to 80 most of the day even when we're home but we're used to it! I would never keep it that high if I had guests. You can acclimate to warmer temperatures but guests shouldn't have to put up with it.

 

[NJOYURLIFE]

I don't know why we're debating the actual temps and what is hot to some and not to others...the point is they weren't very gracious hosts to not oblige a small request from family they had as houseguests. It's not like you were asking them to install new ac units in every room or asking for an addition be built onto the house. Comfortable temperature was all you were asking for. If money was the issue I would have thrown $50 at the BIL and turned the AC down to 74 myself. If they had a problem with that then I would be calling a cab and getting outta there! Just my honest opinion.

My opinion is very similiar.

 

[geetey]

I absolutely agree with this point. Although I want to point out that in my house, my bedroom is always cool while my sons room is always hot. It's the way the sun hits it during the day, and it never seems to get "cold" in his room, even at night.

Our thermostat is nearer to my room. So it's possible they've got a similar situation. His room is always 10 degrees warmer than mine, even with central a/c, and a good five degrees warmler than the rest of the house. If theylve got a similar issue I can understand the window unit.

Anne

Just an FYI, Anne, you can correct the cooling issue if it bothers your son or yourself, but adjusting the dampers in your ductwork (would be up in the attic). We had to do that with our last house. Our bedroom was a sauna but the bonus room was always cold. The HVAC guys did some adjustments and the cool air was even throughout. This seems to be a problem more common in houses without basements.

 

[VSL]

Very rude hosts.

Clearly, they weren't happy with the heat as they had A/C in their room. BUT, even if they were happy with the heat:
- your DD was sick
- it's easier for them to wrap up in the cold than it is for you to cool down in the heat

I know I'm from Britain, but 80F is far too hot for me (and I'm someone who wakes up shivering in the winter - my comfortable temperature range is pretty narrow!).

 

[AllisonG]

I think offering BIL $50 bucks to lower the AC may have embarrassed him enough or maybe not. But I would have offered anyway. If he refused I would have left.

A side story:
I drove from south Florida all the way to Flint, MI to visit my best friend. She had known for 6 months that we were coming. Now originally I offered to book a hotel room for DH and I but she wouldn't hear of it. So, upon arrival we are bonbarded by toys being thrown at us by their 3 year old, dishes piled in the sink and NO WHERE for us to sleep. She put blankets and pillows on the floor that was never vaccumed by the way. We wound up sleeping on the floor 2 nights when I made up an emergency back at home that we had to leave early for. I just couldn't stand the way she planned/prepared for us to stay with her. I was so surprised by her actions or non-actions. This is a girl I was best friends with since 6th grade and here she was a 25 year old mother. She was raised better then that and I could not understand what she was doing. After arriving home and writing her a letter explaining the truth of the matter she was so mad at me! Her responding letter was nasty and bitter and still to this day I haven't spoken to her again. That was 11 years ago.
I personally think I am better off. With friends like that, who needs enemies?

So, next time either make something up like I did and take off or tell the truth and take off. It's your choice but you have to do something.

 

[Quinn222]

You were right and ought to have insisted on either AC or a hotel. Someon said thery don't understand how you could be hot with the thermo set at 80. In my house the thermostat is in the LR. When it is set at 80 the bedrooms are no less than 90 degrees. They get the worst of the sun.

 

[aprilgail2]

My A/C is always set between 70 and 80. I don't think it's hot at all.

I'm not sure how your daughter was so hot that she was nauseus and dizzy in 80 degree temps.

Sorry your trip wasn't as good as you would have liked.

Anne

I would be so miserable if I was the OP and tried to sleep in 80 degree heat..we keep the A/C on 60 so for us 80 is dang hot!

 

[ducklite]

Just an FYI, Anne, you can correct the cooling issue if it bothers your son or yourself, but adjusting the dampers in your ductwork (would be up in the attic). We had to do that with our last house. Our bedroom was a sauna but the bonus room was always cold. The HVAC guys did some adjustments and the cool air was even throughout. This seems to be a problem more common in houses without basements.

It's already been done, and it helped but didn't totally cure the situation. The problem is that we have a radiant barrier on the roof, which doesn't allow any heat in during the part of the day that the sun hits the roof. The sun hitting the WINDOWS on the other hand allows a lot of solar energy in. MY room gets no "direct" sunlight at all though the wondows while DS's gets direct sunlight theough the windows from mid-afternoon on.

Anne

 

[safetymom]

I don't think 80 is too bad. I don't see the reason for moving to a hotel.

 

[helenabear]

The way she explains it, the central air was on, set to 80, which IMHO is just not that hot

Maybe for you, but my Puerto Rican husband would not have slept a wink in that heat. I can live with it myself and I get cold easily, but my husband would've hated that. He seriously cannot sleep in a temp that hot. Maybe 75 but definitely not 80!!!!!

I think the host was rude. 80 degrees is NOT considered normal by any stretch of the means if you have a/c. The fact that they also run a window a/c for them makes me think that they know this isn't very good and should adjust in other ways. Also running the hot water on a timer won't save money. He should just simply turn down the heat on it. Otherwise he will waste more by restarting up the heat than he would have just by setting it at one solid temp.

I think your BIL is not very wise when it comes to being frugal, and it is a shame that your sister won't stand up to him for the comfort of her family!

 

[Quinn222]

I don't think 80 is too bad. I don't see the reason for moving to a hotel.

See my post. All that means is the thermostat is set to 80 so the air around it is 80 (which is too hot for most people to sleep.) In my house when it's at 80 the bedrooms are at 90 or above because of the sun hitting that side of the house and it stays at least 10 degrees warmer than the thermostat all night.

I would never force someone to sleep in 90 degree heat. Or even 80 for that matter. Bottom line is if your guests are uncomfortable then it is your duty as a host to do what you can to make them comfortable.

 

[safetymom]

Just offering my opinion. We have it at 80 here at my house and no one has complained or has any company. As the sun moves around my house I close the drapes.

 

[Quinn222]

As the sun moves around my house I close the drapes.

I wish that worked for my house but it doesn't. It's CBS and the entire wall heats up and acts as an oven.

 

[RadioFanatic]

Although I would pass out in 80 degree temp like out (I pass out when I get overheated), I guess the part that bothers me is not the heat so much but that the BIL had a window AC for his own bedroom but no courtesy to the guests. Va, you haven't really addressed this - did he use the window ac each night? was his bedroom closed at night? how could he justify this? did you bring up the window ac to your sis?

I just think that is the height of rudeness.

 

[goofy's friends]

Being cold is not the same as being too hot. You can always put on a sweater and grab more blankets if you're cold. Once you're naked, there's not much else you can do to cool down!

Maybe that's what they should have done ----strip down to nothing and see how long it took to get some air conditioning

 

[salmoneous]

So who was wrong? My cheapskate BIL for not spending a few bucks to make his company comfortable, or me for wanting to stay somewhere where we could be comfortable?

Neither. I don't see how you can blame the BIL. If that's how he lives, that's how he lives. Besides, he doesn't even seem to know you were uncomfortable.

And you certainlly aren't to blame. There's no way in heck I would've stay in the house. (Actually, though you get no blame for wanting to leave, you get a tiny bit of blame for not leaving).

No, the "villian" in your story is the sister.

 

[mickeysgal]

Just offering my opinion. We have it at 80 here at my house and no one has complained or has any company. As the sun moves around my house I close the drapes.

We have a zoned system and have each zone set to either 79 or 80 and we are more than comfortable. We also have ceiling fans on that help make it feel cooler. We live in the deep south, so we're used to pretty brutal heat and humity plus we have a ton of windows. However, if you don't have a zoned system, I can see how a room can escalate in temperature while the thermostat still says 80.

You know what I would have done? Simple - I would have just adjusted the thermostat - each and every time I needed it cooler. I wouldn't have asked, I would just DO. This is family and I wouldn't stand on a formality of asking. If they (he) had a problem with that, I would have politely told him why you're doing this. If he still had a problem with it, then they could have driven you to a hotel, which is what you ultimately wanted anyway.

 

[RadioNate]

While I don't think 80 is that hot at all. I'm in TX (where it is expected to be 95 today) at mine is set at 78 and I think that is rather comfortable and can get a little chilly to me in here when the sun goes down and the fans are on.

That said, I do try to turn it down a bit when we have guests over. I don't keep it at 78 for any cost savings. Any colder and I freeze.

I have a friend who's DH keeps the house at 65. Talk about miserable! I shake I'm so cold. I visit dressed like it is december and still shiver.

I agree that it is rude that they had a portable air conditionair running in their room at night and wouldn't turn down the air a few degrees for you. Were their ceiling fans? The hot water thing is weird too. I would have forgone the timer while I had house guests.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Agreed...the villian is your sister, not the BIL. She refused your comfort. You asked to be taken to a hotel and she refused.

We sleep at 73 at night. 77 during the day. 80 would be TOO HOT for our family and I would have left.