Right age for a sleepover?

[brookmey]

DD is invited to a birthday sleepover this Friday. She is beyond excited, it's her first friend sleepover. She's 7 and in 2nd grade.

There are 4 girls invited, plus the b-day girl. The b-day girl will be turning 8, another girl will turn 8 in November. The other 3 girls are all 7.

A couple of the moms are apprehensive about a sleepover for girls this age. They're not sure they're going to let the girls spend the night. It's not an issue with the b-day girl's parents, we all know each other pretty well and socialize together outside of school. The moms' concern is that 7/8 is too young for a sleepover.

I don't have a problem with it and I know DD will be fine overnight. And if the b-day girl's parents want to have 5 giggling, squealing, rambunctious 2nd graders overnight, I admire them!

DD is now certain she wants one for her 8th b-day in May. I think I was 7 or 8 when sleepovers started for me. What is the typical age when kids start having sleepovers? Or when did it start for your kids?

 

[mdsoccermom]

Around 5 or 6 for my kids. When DD was in first grade, she did a girl scout sleepover at a children's museum in Baltimore so I wouldn't think twice about a sleepover at a friend's home in 2nd grade.

 

[Hannathy]

Around 5 by 7-8 they were old hat!!

Can we get anymore overprotective. Just when I thought we couldn't I come on the DIS and learn yes we can!

 

[diselderm]

My dd's first sleepover party was also in the second grade with girls ages 7 and 8. They seemed plenty old enough, although I was surprised how rambunctious and messy they were with the cookie decorating we did. Took us a while to recuperate from that one!

 

[justhat]

My daughter was 6.5yo, in 1st grade. She's done 2 or 3 since then. She'd likely go every weekend if allowed, but I limit them cause I have to reciprocate and I don't want anymore kids in my house on a regular basis!

 

[PrincessBelle39]

My eldest dd was doing sleepovers at 5 with no problems. But then she hit 8 (nearly 9 an didn't want to do them. This went on for about 9 months and she has just been on her first one since.
My youngest is 7 in 3 weeks and hasn't been on one yet. She also has absolutely no interest although she is happy to have a friend over to sleep.

 

[aprilgail2]

They started full blown in kindergarten with my daughter. Every weekend it it was either a kid here or her at another kids house sleeping over!

 

[Poohforyou]

My DD was 7 when she went to her 1st sleepover and 8 when she had one of her own. Since then she's been to and had too many to count. I've never had a girl want to leave in the middle of the night and DD has never wanted to come home. I was a little concerned for the 1st one but she did great.

If you know the family well I don't see the problem. At that age I wouldn't have let my daughter go to one if we didn't know the family. Now that she's in middle school it's different and as long as someone I know knows the parents I'm fine with her going.

 

[Poohforyou]

Around 5 by 7-8 they were old hat!!

Can we get anymore overprotective. Just when I thought we couldn't I come on the DIS and learn yes we can!

It's not always about being overprotective. It's sometimes about what your child is comfortable with. There's no way at age 5 my DD could have handled being away overnight. It would have been a nightmare for the other family and I wouldn't have put them through that. I think part of that was not having family close by so there was no sleeping at grandma's house for her. By 7 she was willing to give it a try and she did great.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

7-8 is about right. If the girls want to stay, let them stay, if they are nervous and unsure, moms can pick them up. As long as a couple stay, the party should be fine. Actually, having only 1-2 sleep there will probably make bedtime much easier for birthday mom.

 

[superme80]

I was 10 when I had my first sleepover. Yes I would say my parents were overprotective, but it was fine with me.

 

[Michelle67]

It's not always about being overprotective. It's sometimes about what your child is comfortable with. There's no way at age 5 my DD could have handled being away overnight. It would have been a nightmare for the other family and I wouldn't have put them through that. I think part of that was not having family close by so there was no sleeping at grandma's house for her. By 7 she was willing to give it a try and she did great.

I agree. There's a huge variation in what kids will feel comfortable and secure about. I've taken home a melting down 7 year old before, but on the other hand my grown daughter's oldest friend was staying with us (and my daughter was staying with her) when they were 5. My 12 year old daughter has two friends who do not yet feel comfortable sleeping over at someone else's house. One of them lives right across the street from us, and feels comfortable sleeping over here and at one other friend's house, but nowhere she is less familiar with. The second one absolutely does not sleep over. It's not their parents choices, it is what the girls themselves feel comfortable with, and nobody is pushing them because there is no reason to. They will do it when they are ready.

 

[laura.anne]

Seven or eight seems to me to be about the perfect time for sleepovers, as long as none of the girls has any sort of distance issue with a parent or anything. I'm sure they'll be fine.

 

[castmember19]

2nd grade about 8 years old sounds right. At least that's the first sleepover I can remember vividly with other kids.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

Well my daughter's was around 6 months old My best friend and I were pregnant at the same time and our girls have been best friends since birth (they are now 10 years old) so we would have "sleep overs" so each of us got a break.

I also have lots of cousins who have kids her age so she would spend the night at their house (and vice versa) at a young age.

I think she was in the 1st grade the first time she had a sleep over with someone other than close family and friends. She had no problem with it but I think that was because she had had so much practice.

 

[kirstenb1]

DD's first one was first grade. I remember thinking at the time, gosh I didn't think she'd be invited to one til second grade.

 

[Mom21]

I agree with previous poster that said it isn't about being overprotective. It is about how your child will deal. My dd had a friend or two sleep over early elementary, but she hated it. She isn't one to stay up chitty chatty late. When it was bed time, she was going to bed. So we stopped that. She has had no one over since and doesn't ask to sleep at others. She's 14. That is just her personality. Only you know what your child can handle.

 

[aaarcher86]

I think I was actually 5 - but to be fair it was at my babysitter's house whose kids were my best friends

Both my daughters (4 and 5) just slept over at our friends house for the first time as a favor to us (we were picking up a surprise puppy the following morning, very early). I was super apprehensive but they play there all the time, and honestly, if they ended up crying in the middle of the night it would only be a 10 minute car ride to go get them.

If you trust the parents I think it is totally fine for an overnight at 7/8 - the worst that happens is they get homesick and come home!

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I was 5 years old, I still remember it. I had a fun time. I think a 7/8 year old should be perfectly fine.