Replacing Wedding Rings

[disneychrista]

I know you said you weren’t judging, but the tone of your original post certainly seems judgmental. You said you’re not married nor are you a jewelry person. Based on that, I’d naturally assume that upgrading wedding or engagement rings wouldn’t be a high priority to you, so seems silly to start a thread questioning the practice in others and somehow implying there’s something wrong with their priorities or sentimentality regarding marriage because of it. Just my interpretation.

I am truly not judging. I am sorry if you took it as such, that isn't the intent.

It is BECAUSE I've never been married that I DID ask the question. I don't understand the concept of replacing something that TO ME is the symbol of my commitment to my spouse seems wrong. There have been a lot of great answers to this question. I have never said that anyone is WRONG for doing it. I KNOW and UNDERSTAND that others don't think the same way as I do.

Just because I haven't been married doesn't mean I can't have an opinion on marriage. I have a lot of opinions on it but those are for anther thread.

 

[SC Minnie]

I replaced mine but not by choice. I lost mine during year 13. Both my wedding ring and engagement ring were soldered together. I went ringless for a few years hoping it would show up somewhere in the house. I replaced it with an infinity band a few years ago.

Mine were lost/stolen too. They were also soldered together. We did replace them after a few month though. We had been married about 6 years. DH told me to pick out whatever style I wanted with the new ring. I chose the same thing (slightly larger diamonds though). I have a round solitaire and a jacket with 2 round diamonds on each side. For our 25th I got an infinity band and wear that with my set. I wear my rings every day --except on the weekend when I don't leave the house.

My rings are gold which makes them look a little dated. I've thought about having them dipped but i don't want to deal with the upkeep of redipping. I've come to realize the 'dated' look of the gold kind of speaks to our longevity.

I have my mom's wedding set from when she married my dad. It looks like a cocktail ring and I wear it every once in a while.

 

[disneychrista]

I've come to realize the 'dated' look of the gold kind of speaks to our longevity.

I love this outlook.

 

[Searc]

My original engagement ring was literally a diamond chip (poor college students and it was my grandmother's). I wore that for 10 years and DH upgraded it for our 10th anniversary. On our 15th anniversary, we both got new rings and DH plans on updating my middle stone for our 25th (celebrated our 23rd last month). I have my original engagement ring and wedding band in my jewelry box and DH still wears his original $120 yellow gold band because he prefers it to his tungsten ring.

The meaning behind the rings is what's important to me, not the actual ring. DH is much more sentimental about his than I am mine. He wants to be buried with his wedding ring, but I told him I don't know if I'll be able to do that.

 

[MrsDuck]

I've upgraded 2x. We were poor college kids. My ring now is exactly what I want and hubby was happy to purchase it. I don't feel that it has LESS meaning. To each their own!

 

[RangerPooh]

My engagement ring is a basic solitaire diamond, with a thin wedding band. DHs ring was his fathers. We were 24/26 at the time and in grad school when we got married, today our finances are different. I love my ring, but wouldn't object to an addition or separate ring to wear on the other hand.

 

[ImDMous]

We got our original wedding rings when we were young and poor, I think it was about $250 for both bands and my engagement ring from one of those perpetually going-out-of-business places. The diamond was just a chip really.

The two side diamonds fell out of my engagement ring eventually and the band was so thin there was no way for it to be sized up when I gained weight. I started wearing $10 costume rings from Penny's and would just buy a new one every couple months as the shine wore off.

For our 15th anniversary, we finally just decided to get new ones. DH got a tungstun one that's really cool and I got a beautiful set that I love.

I don't even know where my original wedding set is now. I'm sure I still have it somewhere... We are not religious and they were never blessed or anything, to me they just don't have any emotional value other than being a reminder that we stuck through young and broke to make it to older, wiser and more established. They can stay in the box wherever they are.

 

[Gracedis1]

I got married at 30 so I knew what I wanted. I got a single band with 5 stones, the middle one slightly larger and tapering to smaller diamonds. It's similar to an anniversary band. I knew I did not want a solitaire that would catch on things. I've been married 18 years and I can't imagine wanting to change it.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I have no problem with upgrading or replacing engagement/wedding rings. Not at all !!!
My engagement ring, when young and poor, was very small and simple. Just a solitaire.
When I thought I had lost that ring, years later, I was happy to get with my DH and go on Blue Nile and custom order a gorgeous new ring and matching platinum band. (I am sensitive to metals) That means a lot too!
I was even happier, because decades ago, everything was gold, and houses were all brass.
I haven't worn gold for decades. just do not like it.
Every couple and every situation is different.
I guess it doesn't really matter if anyone else 'gets it' or not.

 

[disneychrista]

I guess it doesn't really matter if anyone else 'gets it' or not.

No it doesn't matter. But I appreciate the posters who posted with their reasons because it does help to see others points of view and reasons.

 

[bdcp]

We're on our 4th set of wedding rings and third engagement ring and we've been married 38 years. It's not the rings that make a marriage. They are symbols, but it doesn't matter if you wear your original or not. We still have our originals, but they aren't worn anymore. I upgraded my engagement ring by winning a jewelry store drawing about 27 years ago. My original (1/2 ct diamond)which I now have set in a three stone ring with the diamonds from the studs my DH gave me for a wedding gift. The ring I won was a 1 ct solitaire. I wore that for 10 years or so until DH re-proposed with my current 2 ct. for our 25th anniversary. The wedding bands changed based on engagement ring settings and I now wear a 1 ct 5 stone band with my solitaire. DH now has a wedding band with 1 ct of diamonds (5 stones). I know women who have 3-4 sets and rotate them regularly. It's kind of like people who place so much importance on the perfect wedding. In the end, it's the marriage that's important, not what you wore, etc.

 

[Hikergirl]

My dh got me an anniversary band after our 9th anniversary and that replaced my engagement ring in the sense that I wear that instead of my engagement ring.
It was a simple pear shaped solitaire and I've always wanted to have it set in a pendant someday but it has been sitting in my jewelry box for 14 years.
To me a ring is symbol of our love and commitment, it doesn't matter if it's the one put on your finger at your wedding ceremony or one you picked out years later. What it symbolizes is the same, and that is what is important IMO.

 

[disneychrista]

It's kind of like people who place so much importance on the perfect wedding. In the end, it's the marriage that's important, not what you wore, etc.

Don't get me started on weddings...

 

[Disney Doll]

I wouldn’t get new. I might like an anniversary band to add to what I already have.

But the wedding set I wear are the diamond he picked out for me and the band that got blessed on my wedding day. I’m not changing those to get something more blingy.

 

[smiths02]

My friend was teasing my DH about upgrading mine recently. It is a nice ring...it cost about $2000 about 20 years ago when we were poor college students. The things is, we got engaged young (I was 18), so most of our friends/coworkers that have gotten married in the last 10 years all have much more substantial diamonds (to reflect having a better income). I don't think it would be wrong to upgrade the middle diamond. I'm pretty sure the salesman said as much to DH 20 years ago. The ring would still be the same, just a bigger diamond. We could do something with the middle diamond...make a solitaire necklace and give it to our daughter or something.

DH lost his nearly 10 years ago. It was a nice band for a guy, had diamonds, cost $600 or so at the time. I replaced it with just a solid gold band, which he didn't want to take to lose when he was shipped off to war, so he bought a titanium one, which is the one he generally wears now.

My DH's great aunt was married twice (both husbands predeceased her). She had her diamonds made into a pair of earrings which I now have. Anyhow, they are still special even though in a different form.

 

[monorailsilver]

I have had to replace part of my engagement ring and it killed me!

First time, we were newly engaged or well between engagement and wedding so 14 months....and I was on the phone with my soon to be husband and I could hear taping from my ring. Come to find out I think 2 of the 3 diamonds were spinning. It went in a zip lock bag and he brought it back to the jeweler and I had to get a new ring as I wanted gold (I want platinum now...sigh...) and I needed a different K of gold to go with the new platinum prongs.

Fast forward to 3 kids and weight gain and the ring didn’t fit me, not to mention it was oval shaped. So it went to the jeweler about 3 years ago. Wedding band is still the same band but the engagement ring had yet a new setting. I would of gone platinum but that meant changing the wedding band.

And yes it killed me to get rid of the ring hat first time. The 2nd time not as much.

 

[rajak73]

I'm on my 3rd band, not because of upgrade or didn't like the last ones, I have always worn my wedding ring even though I probably shouldn't at the job I do. 1st one, I ripped a chunk from my finger right at the ring, the finger started swelling up and I had to cut it off or it would have cut the circulation off at the finger, DW actually helped me with that one, just wore the second one out and got a crack in it. DW bought me a 3rd one, titanium to wear to work, I also have a nicer one I wear when we go out or special occasions. We laugh now about the diamond wedding rings, they have a Star, a heart and whatever else kind of diamond there is, when we bought hers, you went into the jewerly store and said "We need a wedding set" Okay, here are the wedding sets. LOL

 

[Kitty 34]

DH and I were married before so when we got married after being together 4 years and had a 1 yr old and my son (6) from my previous marriage we just decided one day to go to the courthouse to tie the knot.....no rings involved.

Three years later we exchanged just wedding bands at Christmas surrounded by our 3 sons.

Fast forward 30 some years......I still wear my band; DH lost his and replaced it years later with a "cute" band that also is a can opener that our BIL bought for him as a joke. I will say he hasn't lost this one yet.....

 

[disneychrista]

we just decided one day to go to the courthouse to tie the know.....no rings involved.

That's the way I would do it. Except it would be the County Admin building or something because the courthouse doesn't do weddings.

 

[disykat]

Rings are just a symbol so their meaning is very dependent upon each individual's opinion.

I wear my ring sometimes. Sometimes I wear a plain gold band dh gave me during a pregnancy. Depends on my weight. I don't feel any less married wearing the replacement. Sometimes I don't wear a ring at all. Though I like the symbolism of wearing a ring, I still don't feel less married if I don't have it on - or more married with it on. "The ring" has minimal meaning to me, really. However, if I'm going to wear it I do want to wear something that makes me happy and feels good on my finger. If an "upgrade" did that I don't see anything wrong with it.