Replacing Wedding Rings

[disneychrista]

Inspired by the Wedding Ring - Advice thread and other discussions about replacing/getting new wedding &/or engagement rings.

I have seen these threads pop-up on the DIS every so often of replacing or upgrading engagement or wedding rings. I don't get this concept at all. In my opinion if you replace the rings they would lose their meaning. Especially wedding rings, that are exchanged as part of the ceremony. So why would one replace them, unless they are lost/stolen, etc?

DISCLAIMER: I have never been married, I was "engaged" to my daughters' father but a wedding was never even planned. I wasn't thrilled with the ring that was given to me as an engagement/Christmas present. It wasn't anything like a traditional engagement ring. It was more a birthstone ring. But I would never of even thought to replace it. The same for wedding bands. If we'd actually gotten married, the wedding bands would have been cheap department store rings, nothing fancy or expensive. My ideal engagement ring is a simple diamond solitaire and the wedding ring a simple gold band. Not that it matters I don't expect to ever get married.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

Some people can’t afford the fancy expensive rings that they would like and choose not to go into major debt getting them but they don’t want to wait to get married either.

My brother and his wife were like this. They wanted to get married and start a family but if my brother spent 3 months salary on a ring they couldn’t get a house which was more important to them. They got cheap $100 rings until their finances were in order and could afford the fancy wedding sets.

A marriage is more than a ring, a dress and party IMO.

 

[Meriweather]

I got a new ring for my 30th anniversary. It is more special than the original. (we were poor college students and just got plain gold bands)
We had it made......white gold band with my engagement stone in it along with the diamonds from my mother's ring and my grand mother's ring. They are all different sizes and some are bezel set and others not.
I love it
Would have used my father's stones, but they were too small.

 

[wenrob]

Sometimes folks are poor when first starting out. The total cost for my engagement ring ($345) and our bands was under $800. Even back then that was a lot of cash for a couple of 23 year olds. At ten years I had a slightly bigger diamond put in my engagement ring and we both got fancy new bands.

Sometimes the rings just look ridiculously outdated. I wish I had gone with a classic solitaire instead of a ring that screams “I got married in 1992!” My taste has changed drastically since then. I got a three stone ring for my 15th anniversary that I like a lot more.

Sometimes bling is just a PITA to wear all the time. These days I only wear a very thin infinity band I got for our 25th and only wear my “real” rings on special occasions. My DH doesn’t wear either of his rings at all.

Rings do not represent commitment to me. Thirty years of putting up with each other’s crap does.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I wasn't thrilled with the ring that was given to me as an engagement/Christmas present. It wasn't anything like a traditional engagement ring.

Neither was Princess Diana's.

 

[tvguy]

They got cheap $100 rings until their finances were in order and could afford the fancy wedding sets.

That's pretty pricey. Cheap wedding rings to me are $10-$25.
But I don't get replacing wedding rings, IMHO they are a symbol of a lifetime commitment and should last a lifetime.
My wife's ring set cost $800 in 1981, that would be about $2,200 today.
Mine was free. It was my dads, and it was his dad's. My wife was a little concerned since my grandfather died when my dad was 11, and my dad died when I was 9, and thus the ring was available to be passed down and neither lived long enough to see their children make it to adulthood or get married. I broke the jinx. My kids are 28 and 32, and my son had to go out and buy his own wedding ring.

 

[disneychrista]

A marriage is more than a ring, a dress and party IMO.

Rings do not represent commitment to me. Thirty years of putting up with each other’s crap does.

Which is why I don't get the upgrading of the rings. The rings are a SYMBOL to me. It isn't meant to be fancy.

I get getting a new ring for special anniversary but to me that would be an "anniversary" ring not a wedding ring.

I'm not judging those that "upgrade" when they are more established and can afford more. I just don't get it. But as well as never getting married, I am not a jewelry person. A wedding ring might be the only jewelry you'd see me wear. So the cheaper, simpler rings the poor 20-somethings could afford would probably more what I'd want anyway.

 

[Eeyore daily]

Neither was Princess Diana's.

And now it belongs to the Duchess of Cambridge.

 

[wenrob]

Which is why I don't get the upgrading of the rings. The rings are a SYMBOL to me. It isn't meant to be fancy.

I get getting a new ring for special anniversary but to me that would be an "anniversary" ring not a wedding ring.

I'm not judging those that "upgrade" when they are more established and can afford more. I just don't get it. But as well as never getting married, I am not a jewelry person. A wedding ring might be the only jewelry you'd see me wear. So the cheaper, simpler rings the poor 20-somethings could afford would probably more what I'd want anyway.

Well, they’re just a symbol. I’m not sure where the confusion is coming from. To you they’re not meant to be fancy. Not all of of us feel that way. I shouldn’t be doomed to wear my poor taste from 1992 the rest of my life. They mean different things to different people. To me it’s just jewelry that shows I’m married. There’s no deep emotional meaning or attachment to hunks of metal and rocks for me. What matters is we both showed up and have stuck around.

 

[Imzadi]

In my opinion if you replace the rings they would lose their meaning. Especially wedding rings, that are exchanged as part of the ceremony. So why would one replace them, unless they are lost/stolen, etc?

Yes, I feel the same way. Partly because I know a groom who never wears any type of jewelry. He and the bride knew way before the ceremony that he'd never wear a wedding ring after the ceremony was over. But, his bride insisted on a two ring ceremony. Their Catholic priest said to the groom, even if he never wears the ring, don't lose or throw it away, as that ring is the one he blessed.

I do believe people can and do wear other rings in place of their original wedding rings, for a variety of reasons. Not everyone is Catholic or does religious ceremonies. I, personally, would never consider it a replacement for the wedding ring. I would call the second ring a "10th anniversary ring, a re-commitment ring, or the ring we said we could get when we could afford a better ring, etc., that I'm wearing in place of my wedding ring - which would be tucked safely away somewhere.

 

[disneychrista]

What matters is we both showed up and have stuck around.

And in the end that is what matters the most.

 

[Imzadi]

I am not a jewelry person. A wedding ring might be the only jewelry you'd see me wear. So the cheaper, simpler rings the poor 20-somethings could afford would probably more what I'd want anyway.

I make too much art with my hands, so they are always getting goopy. I'd hate to have to be cleaning the paint or goop out of the underparts of the ring, between the prongs, etc., all the time. So, I wouldn't be wearing my rings a lot.

I always see on TMZ that fans make such a big fuss over whether a star is wearing their wedding ring or not, and if that means the marriage is over. I think they'd be having a field day over me, if that's the indication of how my marriage is doing. "She's wearing it today! . . . Oh, wait, she took it off today. . . No, she was out grocery shopping and it's back on again! . . ."

 

[Imzadi]

I shouldn’t be doomed to wear my poor taste from 1992 the rest of my life.

Oh dear. You didn't have a wedding dress to match some of those horrible wedding dresses, like in that recent thread that was posted here, did you? I can better understand now why the tradition is generally a plain band for the wedding ring. As probably our descendants figured out, as they got older, people WILL change (and evolve) their tastes and not want to be stuck with a "What was I thinking at the time?"

 

[bigbabyblues]

I have two different wedding bands that I wear, depending on my mood and sometimes what I'm doing. One is a thin, plain white-gold band, the other is a thicker white gold and diamond band that DH gave me for our 10th anniversary. Neither of them is my original wedding band, which was yellow gold; I also have a thicker yellow gold band that I wore for awhile--I still have those rings, they are in my jewelry box with DH's original wedding band and another one that no longer fits him. I ended up with white bands after DH bought a wrap for my solitaire that I loved (he picked it), but it was white gold. I originally had my solitaire set in white gold too. The white gold looks much better with my skin tone.

To me, it doesn't matter that they aren't the rings I wore at my wedding, they are just rings. DH's original wedding band has been cut off his finger 3 times (finger swelled while he was using the chainsaw) and couldn't be fixed after the last time. He had a "nicer" band that he got for our 5th anniversary, and he wore it off and on when we went out, but it no longer fits. He now wears a silicone Qalo ring. It doesn't matter to me. The rings are a symbol that show we are married, nothing more.

 

[MrsJackSparrow4Life]

Which is why I don't get the upgrading of the rings. The rings are a SYMBOL to me. It isn't meant to be fancy.

I get getting a new ring for special anniversary but to me that would be an "anniversary" ring not a wedding ring.

I'm not judging those that "upgrade" when they are more established and can afford more. I just don't get it. But as well as never getting married, I am not a jewelry person. A wedding ring might be the only jewelry you'd see me wear. So the cheaper, simpler rings the poor 20-somethings could afford would probably more what I'd want anyway.

You don’t have to get it...what works for you doesn’t necessarily work for others and vice versa.

My SIL wanted the fancy wedding set but she wanted to get married before they could afford it so they upgraded later. Her rings do not mean less just because they didn’t get put on her finger the day they got married. IMO they actually mean more since she put being with my brother before getting the rings she wanted.

 

[bcla]

We bought a couple of fancy rings but almost never wear them now. Ours are platinum and they're heavy as heck. But if I do wear one out in public it's going to be some cheap titanium or tungsten carbide rings I bought fairly cheap.

 

[violina]

It depends on the people and their own feelings about the ring or jewelry. Some find the originals to be very sentimental and some not. The ring doesn't change how they feel about one another though. But here's what happened with my husband and I:

In the beginning, his original ring was causing issues with finger, so we looked into alternatives. I found a matching set of wooden rings that he wore for years (still have my wooden ring, along with my original e-ring and wedding ring). His wooden ring was getting rundown so I offered to find a new replacement but he's actually trying out his original wedding ring, which has been going good so far.

As for myself, my e-ring is a little large as is my wooden ring (both needed to be a tiny bit larger so I could get it over my knuckles). My wedding band normally fits fine. However when I was exercising or just the immense heat of the summer, I find myself using silicone wedding bands, which I is definitely a temporary solution till I can wear my band again.

 

[disneychrista]

You don’t have to get it...what works for you doesn’t necessarily work for others and vice versa.

I'm never said it does. Just expressing my opinion and asking for others to give theirs. Believe me I not one to EVER say/think/feel that others should think/feel the way I do. I am really a do whatever floats your boat type of person. If your way of doing things doesn't affect me, I am not going to judge. But it also doesn't mean I am going to change my thinking. Just like I am not asking you to change yours.

**YOU meant as a general you, not specific to any one.


Edited to fix typos only

 

[Ellie008]

DH has a tungsten ring. I love the look. The main issue is - you can't size them. They are what they are, and if you need a different size, you have to get a new ring. So, DH gets sized, and wears the ring around for 2 weeks prior to our wedding. He says it fits fine. Are you SURE? Yep, fits fine. We get married with that ring, and seriously two days later he is telling me it is the wrong size, he needs a different size.... We can either keep that ring in a drawer and go buy a new one, or trade it in for a different size. We traded.
It is a symbol, and while I would have liked for him to wear THE ring from our wedding day, it wasn't going to happen. I do like him to wear A ring, but at this point it doesn't really matter to me which one anymore. If he wanted something different I would have fun shopping with him.

I stopped wearing my engagement ring when we had kids. It just gets dirty, caught on things, in the way. I have thought about resetting the stone, or getting something different, but haven't actually done it yet. Most days I wear a silicone ring I bought myself a couple of years ago.

 

[Floridaman999]

My wife and I haven't worn our wedding rings for years and years. Hopefully she knows where they are because I don't have a clue.