Referring to people as Sir or Ma'am...

[CookieGVB]

If you think "Yes, ma'am" is always used politely and respectfully, you've never heard a teenager use it when they're angry.

I've heard it used in the Northeast, but usually by cashiers/waiters/etc. I remember wailing to my friends about how old I felt - "When did I go from being a Miss to a Ma'am?????"

And in the MJ 911 call, it was the caller who was using Sir/Ma'am, not so much the operator.

 

[MichelleVW]

It's not a southern thing. Go watch "Leave it to Beaver" or "Father Knows Best". The lack of good manners is the result of a degraded society. I goes right along with giving people the finger while driving, talking on the cell phone whie in the check out line or in a restaurant, or not giving up your seat on a Disney shuttle bus to a woman, child or elderly person.

Give me a break. My mother in her mid 60's grew up in Ohio and it was not common in that area to use sir or ma'am. It's not the result of a degraded society, it's just what is common in your area.

People in different areas talk different, In Cincinnati people say "please" if they didn't hear what you said and they want you to repeat it.

 

[MomofKatie]

My parents are Midwesterners, and I spent my first 9 years in the Midwest. I was taught to use "Mr./Mrs Lastname" for all adults as a sign of respect.

We moved to GA when I was 9, and there, EVERYONE used "Sir/Ma'am" intead- or, if they were friends with the adult, "Mr./Miss Firstname". It seemed really weird to me, and it took some getting used to. I would call my friends' parents "Mr Jones" or "Mrs Smith" and most times they would tell me to call them "Mr Fred" or "Miss Lisa" instead.

I am now raising my own DD in the South. I didn't teach her "Sir/Ma'am", but she does use "Mr/Miss Firstname" and not "Mr/Mrs Lastname". I don't notice as much "Sir/Ma'am" from the young kids as I used to.

 

[Fintastic]

It was hard when I moved down south to remember to use "sir/ma'am" and also the Mr./Mrs./Miss Firstname thing. I grew up referring to adults by their first names. That was just normal. Now that we've moved away, DH (Southern born and raised) gets so uncomfortable referring to my dad by just his first name, even though that's how my dad has requested he do it.

 

[Mom2Nick]

I was raised to call all elders sir, or ma'am, as well as when addressing my parents. When mom or dad asked/told me to do something, it was "yes, sir". I'm raising my kids the same way. You address people by their titles or by "Sir" or "Ma'am". For a child to call an elder by their first name is disrespectful. It's Mr. Edwards, Mrs. Edwards, just as I would never address a teacher by their first name, out of respect.

When my my kid says "Yes" he gets an immediate"Excuse me?" And then comes the "yes, sir", or yes, thank you". My boys get it that good and proper manners earns them the respect of their elders. They've also learned that people do very nice things for them when they exhibit good manners.

It's not a southern thing. Go watch "Leave it to Beaver" or "Father Knows Best". The lack of good manners is the result of a degraded society. I goes right along with giving people the finger while driving, talking on the cell phone whie in the check out line or in a restaurant, or not giving up your seat on a Disney shuttle bus to a woman, child or elderly person.

I was raised to call my parents Mom and Dad not Sir and Ma'am and I was raised to call adults by Mr/Mrs. Last name. There's more then one way to teach and show respect and it's narrowminded to believe that people that do it different are not being respectful.

 

[MomofKatie]

It was hard when I moved down south to remember to use "sir/ma'am" and also the Mr./Mrs./Miss Firstname thing. I grew up referring to adults by their first names. That was just normal. Now that we've moved away, DH (Southern born and raised) gets so uncomfortable referring to my dad by just his first name, even though that's how my dad has requested he do it.

My sorority sister/best friend introduced me to her dad when I was in college, and I called him "Mr Lastname". He growled out, "Just call me Mike." I felt the same as your DH- it made me too uncomfortable to call the parent of a friend by just his first name, I ended up calling him "Mr Mike". He would always get an exasperated look on his face when I did this, but I couldn't bring myself to call him "just Mike".

I am in my early 40's, and I STILL feel uncomfortable if a clearly older lady or gentleman asks me to call them by only their first name.

 

[MichelleVW]

I was raised to call my parents Mom and Dad not Sir and Ma'am and I was raised to call adults by Mr/Mrs. Last name. There's more then one way to teach and show respect and it's narrowminded to believe that people that do it different are not being respectful.

I totally agree....

 

[C.Ann]

My late DH was a former Marine, so he used the sir and ma'am thing until the day he died.. I use it when speaking with certain people in postions of authority and I have held several jobs where it was required..

Oh - and I live in upstate NY..

"Yeah" and "nope" I don't really have any problems with - as long as children use them in a way that doesn't sound sarcastic.. DGD (10) always says, "Yes" or "No" - even with the friends she plays with.. That's how she was taught to respond (as well as responded to), so I guess it "stuck" - LOL..

 

[DebbieB]

I was raised to call my parents Mom and Dad not Sir and Ma'am and I was raised to call adults by Mr/Mrs. Last name. There's more then one way to teach and show respect and it's narrowminded to believe that people that do it different are not being respectful.

I think if a person lives in one area all their lives they don't realize that customs are different elsewhere. I am a trainer and travel the country and see the differences and have to keep my audience in mind when I say things. Just like I have to be careful not to use my Pittsburghese and blow their minds (what are yinz doing for lunch? )

 

[Michelina]

I agree too that it's a Southern thing. I think it's cute, like saying "bless your heart".
I grew up in PA and really only used sir/ma'am for people like police officers or to get the attention of someone whose name you don't know.
We grew up calling older people Mr or Mrs so and so until they said "just call me george or whatever"
Some people really don't like being called sir or ma'am. Once I called a customer sir and he said "Don't call me sir, I work for a living too."