Referring to people as Sir or Ma'am...

[novajeanjellybean]

I grew up in PA and it wasn't common there. My mom made me call her friends Miss/ Mister. I started using Sir/Maam when I moved to TX. I see it as a sign of respect.

 

[turkeymama]

to me is is weird and very disrespectful to answer what to a parent, my mom would have let me have it is I said what to her, just like my kids no better than to say what to me. I have plenty of friends from up north and they don't seem to have a problem with ma'am and sir, in fact I have a friend from up north that is way more strict about it than I am.

I do get so tired of anything being different labeled a "southern thing"

I agree with your last statement. I think what really drives it home with me is that many times people use the phrase "southern thing" in a condescending way.

Oh, and by the way, I bless people's hearts all the time. I don't say "sweet as pie", but I do say "cute as a button".

 

[MichelleVW]

As I stated, I have several friends from the north, and they make their kids use it, and they did before they moved down here to the south.

Being retired military I've met so many different people from all over and your friends are pretty much the exception to the norm from what I've experienced. Like I've stated, I've lived in the far north, mid west and the south and the only place I've ever heard it commonly used/taught is the south.

I have no doubt that there are people in the north that teach their kids to use it, but it's not really common at all in my experience.

 

[imabrat]

I'm from the North and I use Sir/Ma'am, not Mister/Miss/Missus. It's always been "Thank you Sir/Ma'am", never Mr. or Mrs.

 

[doxdogy]

My mother was from Kentucky and my dad from New Jersey and he was retired Navy. Ma'am and sir were drilled into us. My mother's favorite saying to us was yes ma'am, no ma'am, thank you ma'am, please. I work for the Army, so ma'am and sir are used all the time. The younger Soldiers (young enough to be my sons or daughters) do refer to me as Miss Theresa, doesn't bother me a bit.

 

[JoanGirardi]

I was born and raised in SW Louisiana, and have definitely taught my yankee children the proper use of ma'am and sir. They don't use it all of the time here in New York because they say it isn't the norm and they'd be embarassed, but around my house you can believe I'd better hear that ma'am and sir. It's important to me, and it is especially important to me when we visit my family in Louisiana. To me, it's just part of raising a child right. I'm thankful that my husband supports me on this. I'm sure it helps that his dad was a Marine and he served in the Army.

 

[ginna74]

I also use mr and mrs.... Hello mr and mrs bla bla bla...

 

[taylor1293]

I grew up in Illinois and rarely heard ma'am or sir being used. Usually it was sarcastic or as in "excuse me, ma'am, can you help me with this"... because you didn't know what else to say to the stranger. You never, ever, called your teachers, parents, or friends parents by ma'am/sir.

It's definitely used more often down here in Florida. It took some getting used to, but I've adjusted.

 

[JVL1018]

I am from NJ and have used Ma'am and Sir often-mostly when I worked in a bank and had to address someone I didnt know. For example: Sir? I'll help you over here..
I hear grocery store people use it all the time-"thank you ma'am."
I hear wait staff use it too-"what can I get you sir?"
My husband is a firefighter and he addresses people as sir or ma'am all the time on calls-as do the police.

I do not hear kids use it towards adults in everyday conversation, and I have not taught my kids to use it-if they were trying to get the attention of someone they didn't know, they would use Sir or Ma'am, otherwise they use Mr or Mrs LastName or a first name. They don't call my husband and I, Sir or Ma'am-Mommy and Daddy are fine.

All my kids' friends call me by my first name only, though when I am in school helping out, the teacher introduces me as Mrs. LastName and that's what the kids who don't know me outside of school call me.

I hate when kids call me Miss FirstName..because my name is Vicki.

I do have a friend from VA whose kids call me Miss Vicki and I would never tell them not to, but I do look around for Tiny Tim and his ukelele every time I hear them say it.

 

[Robinrs]

I grew up in NY and moved to Georgia 20 years ago. I am STILL NOT USED TO THE MA'AM thing!!!

Everytime I call a girl in my office she replies "ma'am"??? Ugh, I feel like I'm 99 years old!!

I do teach my son to say it because here, in Ga, it's polite. Me, I'm not polite.... I'm a brooklynite...

 

[DebbieB]

I'm from PA and here Sir/Ma'am is usually a sign of respect for older people. A lot of times it is used in a condescending tone. So when younger people started using it with me, I felt like saying "I'm not that old!" (or don't think I am ). It's not just me, one time I saw Katie Couric interviewing a young country star on the Today Show and he kept calling her ma'am, she finally said "please stop calling me ma'am!". A couple of years ago I was on a business trip in MN and a guy from GA was at my table and he kept calling a woman ma'am and she said the same thing! He was shocked, I said to him "it's just that Northern women don't like being called ma'am, it makes us feel old!".

 

[finallygoingtoWDW]

It's not common here in MO, although I do hear it occasionally. I don't like being called ma'am, but I understand the person is just trying to be polite. I only use it when I need to get the attention of a stranger: "Excuse me, ma'am, you dropped something." I can't just say "hey lady!"

 

[CPT Tripss]

I'll have to add this to my list of many things learned on the DIS about other places in our country. Like the whole pop/soda/tonic/coke thing, the pronunciation of the word "lawyer", the abundance of the Catholics in the northeast, the submarine/grinder/hoagie sandwich thing, "bag" & "sack" not being synonyms some places, the prevalence of basements in other parts of the country, etc.

So much for the hopes of the "English as the national language" crowd.

 

[CPT Tripss]

I am from NJ and have used Ma'am and Sir often-mostly when I worked in a bank and had to address someone I didnt know. For example: Sir? I'll help you over here..
I hear grocery store people use it all the time-"thank you ma'am."
I hear wait staff use it too-"what can I get you sir?"
My husband is a firefighter and he addresses people as sir or ma'am all the time on calls-as do the police.

snip

They don't say that often in this part of NJ . . . we usually get, "Hi Guys waddaya want?"

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

NY born and raised (though I lived in Mississippi for 6 months as a young adult). We always used sir/madam with strangers and authority and mr./mrs./ms with family and friend we know. Please and thank you are required or you would spend time in your room. Same applies for my children.

I guess I am the exception to the rule in NY.

 

[tonilea]

NW Arkansas here. We use sir/ ma'am and are teaching our son to do the same. We also don't allow him to say "Yeah" or "Nope" or "Nah".

One of my proudest moments was when he turned down a cookie by saying, "Thank you, but, no."

 

[Planogirl]

I was not raised to use Sir or Ma'am and it's still feels odd to me. My mother was a European and taught me to say Mr/Mrs/Miss.

It sounds strange when I hear it too. I don't resent it or anything but it just seems odd.

 

[disykat]

I also use it to address strangers as in "excuse me Ma'am you dropped..." I'm surprised so many people say they never use it. From the time I entered adulthood I've been addressed this way myself in similar circumstances. IMO it says nothing about my age except that I'm an adult. While it may not be common here to say "yes, ma'am," I would say polite terms are still in use under those circumstances.

As for the "yeah" and "nope," I would be surprised to hear anyone past their teen years use those terms regularly.

 

[MichelleVW]

NW Arkansas here. We use sir/ ma'am and are teaching our son to do the same. We also don't allow him to say "Yeah" or "Nope" or "Nah".

One of my proudest moments was when he turned down a cookie by saying, "Thank you, but, no."

One of my funniest moments was when my DD18 was 3 and we were at my ex husband's Aunt and Uncle's house. They were very prim and proper. His Aunt asked my DD if she wanted another hot dog and DD said, "nah". His Aunt said, "don't you mean No Thank You" and DD said, "no, I like nah"

Before anyone gets all in an uproar, she is a very polite girl now, even uses sir/ma'am even though we never taught her too, but I thought his Aunt was going to fall off her chair when she said that!

 

[dejr_8]

When we moved to NC from MA, we were amazed at how often Ma'am and Sir are used. And now (5 years later) we routinely use those terms.

Another thing done here is to use Mr or Miss plus there first name. So you might address someone as Miss Kim or Mr John. I've seen this in more formal (work) situations.

Also it is fairly common to have kids address adults by using the Miss Kim or Mr John style. Where I grew-up, kids called adults by Mr or Mrs [lastname].