Preschool girl drama - ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!

[Uuaww]

Reason #29 why it is easier to raise boys haha.

 

[lookingforward]

Very normal! Four and five year old girls are evil!

Well... okay, not evil. How about - they're busy exploring and testing the bounds of human social interaction?

Anyway, I had to come down hard on my dd about this kind of thing, too. She was both the instigator and the victim at different times. Just work with the teacher, talk to your dd at home, go over her day with her, and emphasize how important it is to think about how *everyone* feels. Is anyone sad? What can you do to make it better? How can you stand up for yourself when someone is being mean to you? How can you stand up for someone else?

Work on her empathy skills. As my husband used to say to my dd, "Are you using your powers for good?"

One of two things happens, as far as I've seen. Your dd develops a conscience and all is well. Or... she doesn't and she turns into one of *those* girls in high school. Given that you're already concerned and supporting the teacher, I don't think there's much chance of the second outcome. Your dd will be a very sweet girl by the time she's seven!

Great advice!

After raising two boys I had a little girl (pictured below ). My boys, 14 & 17 were a walk in the park. I can remember only one time when my oldest did not get invited to a birthday party and it really hurt.

But the girls......................oh my! My daughter is 8 and has a wonderful nature but third grade is a boiling pot! I see her being a queen bee, then the victim, NEVER the bystander. We got the queen bee thing worked out, but she gets her feelings hurt so much and believes every girl's "story". (did you know that one of her "friends" is hannah montana's cousin...

Anyhow, as a former grade school counselor by only advice is to realize that there are a few girls that never give up the power and control issue. Best advice is to build the self-esteem and point out good friends when she is drawn to the not so good friends.

Some moms are actually still playing the queen bee...they encourage their daughters to be mean so they can feel powerful through their daughter's percieved popularity.


Good luck and your daughter will be fine because you care...and thats what will make the difference.

 

[LJRJR]

Thanks everyone for all the advice. My 2nd grade daughter has always been a very independent child, during the first two years of school, she played with no one. This year she developed a friendship with a girl, and then there was a third girl who became friends and started a problem. Having gotten a taste of how a group of girls can behave, she is again staying by herself and not playing with anyone. It is a little uncomfortable for me to go pick her up from school and have her friends mother tell me that my daughter will not speak to her daughter anymore. I think she is going to separate herself from the drama and not deal with the other kids ever. She talks to the kids in her class, but has no "friends", it I bring up the topic she tells me to "drop it please mom".

 

[Magpie]

Thanks everyone for all the advice. My 2nd grade daughter has always been a very independent child, during the first two years of school, she played with no one. This year she developed a friendship with a girl, and then there was a third girl who became friends and started a problem. Having gotten a taste of how a group of girls can behave, she is again staying by herself and not playing with anyone. It is a little uncomfortable for me to go pick her up from school and have her friends mother tell me that my daughter will not speak to her daughter anymore. I think she is going to separate herself from the drama and not deal with the other kids ever. She talks to the kids in her class, but has no "friends", it I bring up the topic she tells me to "drop it please mom".

Have you ever read a book called "The Story of Ferdinand" by Munro Leaf?

I tried to find it online, but it looks like it's been taken down. Basically it touches on the fact that one of the hardest - and wisest - things a Mama can do is let their kids be who they are, so long as they are content. Ferdinand, you see, is a little bull who refuses to jump and butt heads with the other little bulls. He just wants to sit under his tree all by himself and smell the flowers all day long.

If your daughter prefers not to have friends, then let her do her own thing.

 

[Tomader]

I have a daughter in kindergarten. When she was in preschool she loved to play with the boys. She didn't seem to mix well with the girls. The boys also liked her. She would mimic her older sister on why she didn't play with the girls much. "Too much drama." I was not thrilled that my daughter put that in her head but she has a point. Now that she is in kindergarten she has started playing with the girls. She talks about two of them alot. I don't hear any trouble. I also know she can operate alone. She is not one that gets all emotional if someone does not want to play with her. She is tough that way. I hope that stays. But having to older girls I know how rough it can be. This is only the beginning. I was thankful when my two older ones graduated highschool. I never thought I would be back to square one again.

 

[LJRJR]

Have you ever read a book called "The Story of Ferdinand" by Munro Leaf?

I tried to find it online, but it looks like it's been taken down. Basically it touches on the fact that one of the hardest - and wisest - things a Mama can do is let their kids be who they are, so long as they are content. Ferdinand, you see, is a little bull who refuses to jump and butt heads with the other little bulls. He just wants to sit under his tree all by himself and smell the flowers all day long.

If your daughter prefers not to have friends, then let her do her own thing.

Thanks. She is very independant, and very wise for her age. I will try and look for the book.

 

[Magpie]

Thanks. She is very independant, and very wise for her age. I will try and look for the book.

Amazon has it for four dollars (paperback) or ten dollars (hardcover).

http://www.amazon.com/Story-Ferdina...d_bbs_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1196175301&sr=8-2

This was one of my favorite books as a kid. I could really identify with being different from everyone else and just wanting to do my own thing.