Pregnant High School Senior Denied Attendance At Graduation Ceremony

[sam_gordon]

If a parent catches them, they are just about guaranteed to take it to the school administration.

So parents catch their child having sex. Their child, which they enrolled in this strict private school. And they're going to go to the administration and say "We caught our child having sex and you now need to punish them."?

 

[luvsJack]

So parents catch their child having sex. Their child, which they enrolled in this strict private school. And they're going to go to the administration and say "We caught our child having sex and you now need to punish them."?

Well, I don't know. I don't have kids in private school. I do know from a parent that has kids in a private, religious school that parents take it the school (and as such to the church) when their kids get caught doing just about anything. For some it was sexting, for some it was partying, for one girl it was sending inappropriate picture on snap chat, and yes having sex.

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

No they aren't punishing her for being honest and keeping her baby.
They are punishing her for acting immorally, having pre-marital sex.
Your statement is like a Yahoo headline.

Why is premarital sex immoral? You're displaying the same attitude that led to this controversy.

 

[Hikergirl]

But if she had an abortion, she wouldn't be being punished and would be right there in the same category as the kids having sex and not getting caught. So, if you get right down to it, yes they really are punishing her for keeping her baby.

I am not playing the "if" game, because we have no idea what would happen. So, she was punished because she agreed to a moral code and broke it. You can twist that into something else, but when it comes down to it that is what she was punished for.

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

I am not playing the "if" game, because we have no idea what would happen. So, she was punished because she agreed to a moral code and broke it. You can twist that into something else, but when it comes down to it that is what she was punished for.

Sounds like her parents agreed to this "moral code".

 

[Hikergirl]

Why is premarital sex immoral? You're displaying the same attitude that led to this controversy.

I was referring to the school's stance on what her immoral behavior was. According to them pre-marital sex falls into the immoral category.

 

[mamacatnv]

I've attended Catholic schools before, so I have maybe a little idea of that type of education. Our curriculum in elementary schools was pretty much identical to that which we would have found at a public school with the exception of a daily prayer and maybe 20 minutes on a religious topic at the end of the day. It wasn't overly dogmatic, but then again they weren't trying to be. My grad school experience was pretty non-religious.

However, I do remember once my HS chemistry teacher brought in a science book that was meant for use at certain non-public schools. He was reading of parts of it like "You've got to be kidding me." I don't think he was an atheist, but he thought it wasn't really teaching science.

I grew up in the Silicon Valley, the birthplace of Tech, full of smart, educated people. Not a place where one thinks the religious nuts might hang out.
In the late 70's, my wingnut mother decided a "Christian" school was a better choice than the local public middle school for my Brother and I.
The school she chose was not your standard parochial school - this school was run by a bunch of far right lunatics and had weird morality clauses, behavior codes, archaic dress codes, menial roles for women and the list goes on and on. This was one of those burn the rock music albums kind of place. They were actually on the news for this action. Big bonfire of "satans music" aye yi yi.
Bible class had way more importance than history, science, reading or math. I know because I flunked Bible class and the repercussions were far more severe than if I had flunked a traditional class. The place was downright scary. I still shudder at some of their doctrine and I am 50+ years old. Thank GOD, after two years of the nonsense my Father put his foot down and demanded we be returned to the local public high school.

 

[Hikergirl]

Sounds like her parents agreed to this "moral code".

Yes they did.

 

[luvsJack]

I am not playing the "if" game, because we have no idea what would happen. So, she was punished because she agreed to a moral code and broke it. You can twist that into something else, but when it comes down to it that is what she was punished for.

Its doesn't take an "if" game or twisting to know that if she had chosen not to have this baby, she would have walked at graduation. She could have gotten an abortion without telling her parents or anyone else and walked down that aisle at graduation.

In all reality how much can we expect a kid going in to high school to "agree" to? She is a kid. Her parents agreed to the code.

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

I was referring to the school's stance on what her immoral behavior was. According to them pre-marital sex falls into the immoral category.

Maybe the school has a stance that husbands should dominate women. That doesn't mean they are realistic and shouldn't be challenged.

Yes they did.

But she didn't unless you include a clause she had to sign when she was fourteen. I put that up there with manipulative purity rings.

 

[Hikergirl]

Its doesn't take an "if" game or twisting to know that if she had chosen not to have this baby, she would have walked at graduation. She could have gotten an abortion without telling her parents or anyone else and walked down that aisle at graduation.

In all reality how much can we expect a kid going in to high school to "agree" to? She is a kid. Her parents agreed to the code.

It still doesn't change what she was punished for. If it makes you feel better you can say she got punished because "they knew" or "she got caught". But she did not get punished for being honest.

And sorry but she's a smart kid, so yeah she knew what was agreed too. She can't complain after the fact.

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

It still doesn't change what she was punished for. If it makes you feel better you can say she got punished because "they knew" or "she got caught". But she did not get punished for being honest.

And sorry but she's a smart kid, so yeah she knew what was agreed too. She can't complain after the fact.

Smart kids who was brainwashed into believing contraception was the devil and sex was not normal. I'm not championing teen sex btw, but it does happen and kids should be given the education and resources to deal with it.

 

[Hikergirl]

Maybe the school has a stance that husbands should dominate women. That doesn't mean they are realistic and shouldn't be challenged.



But she didn't unless you include a clause she had to sign when she was fourteen. I put that up there with manipulative purity rings.

You are taking this a bit too far but I'll play along. The time to challenge that stance was before you signed papers that agreed to it.

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

You are taking this a bit too far but I'll play along. The time to challenge that stance was before you signed papers that agreed to it.

Except the made her do that. Sure the parents aren't that bright. But this really should be a wakeup call for all involved including the school.

 

[Hikergirl]

Smart kids who was brainwashed into believing contraception was the devil and sex was not normal. I'm not championing teen sex btw, but it does happen and kids should be given the education and resources to deal with it.

Ok, maybe you should start some kind of protest in front of the school. I'm just here to talk about this girl breaking the rules and getting punished for it.

 

[eeyoreandtink]

I am in the "you knew what you signed up for,why are you surprised?" camp. I say the same about all the "dress code is sexist" stories. If you don't like the dress code or think it is unfair, then work in a constructive manner to change it. If you choose to violate it to "make a stand" don't be surprised or upset when it is actually enforced.

 

[Westcoastwild]

Yeah, I mentioned that back on page 2, but everyone is still posting about pregnancy being "irrefutable proof" of being "immoral".

I know it's not this particular girl's situation, but it is quite possible to get pregnant without breaking the honor code. Choosing to remain pregnant should automatically result in the harshest punishment available. If the purpose is to "send a message" to the other kids, what message is that sending?

Totally pointless to wonder about that because she WASN'T raped. She DIDN'T have an abortion. She willingly had sex, which she knew was against the honor code, and she admitted it. That's my point. She's not claiming rape or virgin birth. Punishments like expulsion are decided on an case to case basis. If she'd been raped, it's entirely possible that they would have encouraged her to leave, come back after having the baby, repeat the year and graduate with the class under her. (I don't know about her school but my school probably would have done that whether she was raped or not- there's a clause in the student code about howyou can't attend in a way that could distract other students).

Also, can I just point out that honesty is great and all, but being honest about something doesn't exempt you from the punishment. I really don't understand the people who are saying she was punished for being honest. She was punished for having sex (and possibly for not being properly repentant over it). Personal accountability is probably a large part of that student code, meaning that if she'd lied, and gotten caught in the lie, she would have then faced the consequences for that as well.

 

[Westcoastwild]

double post fail

 

[Westcoastwild]

Sounds like her parents agreed to this "moral code".

So did she, though. Private schools are all about personal responsibility. Her parents could not have really forced her to stay there and had she wanted to get kicked out, there were easier ways to do so.

I think what a lot of people aren't getting is that the school sees attending the school as a privilege not a right. If you attend, you attend with the understanding that you'll follow the rules and represent the school in an appropriate way.

 

[doggydoc]

I grew up in the Silicon Valley, the birthplace of Tech, full of smart, educated people. Not a place where one thinks the religious nuts might hang out.
In the late 70's, my wingnut mother decided a "Christian" school was a better choice than the local public middle school for my Brother and I.
The school she chose was not your standard parochial school - this school was run by a bunch of far right lunatics and had weird morality clauses, behavior codes, archaic dress codes, menial roles for women and the list goes on and on. This was one of those burn the rock music albums kind of place. They were actually on the news for this action. Big bonfire of "satans music" aye yi yi.
Bible class had way more importance than history, science, reading or math. I know because I flunked Bible class and the repercussions were far more severe than if I had flunked a traditional class. The place was downright scary. I still shudder at some of their doctrine and I am 50+ years old. Thank GOD, after two years of the nonsense my Father put his foot down and demanded we be returned to the local public high school.

I don't know if you are intentionally trying to be offensive but if so good job. You may be referring to only a specific incident and location but you you leave reason to infer a slander against Faith based education in general.

I have never been a "religious" person, I have my beliefs, my own faith and moral code but am not a practitioner of any religion.

A decade ago my wife and I made the decision to place our daughter in private school. It has a strict religious doctrine, one which I have disagreed with many times. It has, at times, exhibited what I consider an overabundance of fervor on certain issues. However we agreed to obey the rules of the school and so I have done my very best to adhere to them and restrain my dissent to the less agreeable aspects.

Why would I do this you ask? The answer is simple. In the decade my daughter has attended not one student has died of an alcohol related traffic death, drug overdose or suicide. I don't mean not one student in her class, I mean not one student in the entire school.

100% of the current graduating class is going on to college, half of them had a 30 (that is not a typo THIRTY) or above on the ACT.

I live near the Mississippi Delta, please feel free to do a search and see how that compares to the local public schools.

I am sorry you had such a horrible experience, I can understand how that could color ones viewpoint. Again it is entirely possible you were commenting solely on personal experience at one specific location and I am being overly sensitive. I would point out however that "Christian", and "weird morality clauses, behavior codes, archaic dress code", are certainly accurate descriptions of the school referenced above.