Pregnant High School Senior Denied Attendance At Graduation Ceremony

[mummabear]

My main issue with this is schools having moral codes or rules about appearance that have nothing to do with education and are really a parenting call.

 

[bcla]

My main issue with this is schools having moral codes or rules about appearance that have nothing to do with education and are really a parenting call.

Schools such as this one are unconventional. They're supposed to be the antithesis of the public school environment. In many ways I believe they're unrealistic about children, but often parents believe that schools like this are the best for how they want their children to be raised.

The curriculum at this type of school is considerably different than most. I noted the types of science textbooks such schools tend to use. Bob Jones University had published science textbooks before, and they were often more about teaching religious doctrine questioning basic scientific understanding because it didn't fit their view of how the world was created. I saw one primer on how one school selected science textbooks. They said that the quality of many of the alternatives that might fit their ideology were of such low quality on the fundamentals that they didn't recommend them. They did develop a framework to include their ideology, and placed an emphasis on critical thinking. In a way I think they were trying to say that conventional science thinks this, but you can apply your critical thinking skills to imagine how they get that wrong since we know differently.

 

[mummabear]

Schools such as this one are unconventional.

I don't know if any moral codes locally that have no sex clauses, drugs would be fairly standard because they are illegal.
Making a campus smoke free is also acceptable in my book because that is about what happens at school (although I hate smoking anywhere).

There was a case over here where a family had to take their school to court.
The son had been suspended because he refused to cut his long hair short, the school rules were for hair to be off the collar, he wore it in a man bun so nothing was touching his collar.
I don't believe the length of his hair is any business of a school.

 

[piccolopat]

Based on what? Her claims? Her father's claims? Or some actual facts?

Based on what I've read about this so far. That isn't "proof" and that's why I used "appears to be" in my post.

 

[sam_gordon]

Based on what I've read about this so far. That isn't "proof" and that's why I used "appears to be" in my post.

OK, so what have you read? Claims from the girl, her father (why would they have any inclination to not tell the whole truth, even if they know it) or a 3rd party?

 

[FlightlessDuck]

That was her choice. She could have eliminated the problem and marched in the ceremony. She chose otherwise and must accept the consequences.

But the baby wasn't the problem. Acting immorally was. The pregnancy was just evidence of the behavior. By having an abortion, she'd be tripling down on what the school considers immoral behavior.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Well I don't know.
There is that whole virgin mother thing.

Or getting raped.

 

[kahrani]

I have to wonder if she had chosen to have an abortion, whether the school would have let her march at graduation? Because if so, then they need to really look hard at their disciplinary procedures. If she broke the rule of no premarital sex then the discipline should be the same regardless of whether a pregnancy happened, didn't happen or was terminated. If there are other kids marching at graduation who have been caught breaking the no sex rule then there is a disparity and I can understand why she is upset.

(Personally I think she's done very well to maintain good marks and graduate whilst pregnant, my brain turns to mush during pregnancy!)

 

[piccolopat]

OK, so what have you read? Claims from the girl, her father (why would they have any inclination to not tell the whole truth, even if they know it) or a 3rd party?

Wow, you seem a bit agitated about what I said. I read what has been said in this thread and what was in the linked article. Again, I don't take that as absolute truth and that's why I said "appears to be" rather than "it is". If you have proof that refutes what has been said in this thread or the article, please share it.

 

[Boardwalk Jedi]

I have to wonder if she had chosen to have an abortion, whether the school would have let her march at graduation? Because if so, then they need to really look hard at their disciplinary procedures. If she broke the rule of no premarital sex then the discipline should be the same regardless of whether a pregnancy happened, didn't happen or was terminated. If there are other kids marching at graduation who have been caught breaking the no sex rule then there is a disparity and I can understand why she is upset.

(Personally I think she's done very well to maintain good marks and graduate whilst pregnant, my brain turns to mush during pregnancy!)

Likely they would have because they wouldn't have known. So they are actually punishing her for being honest and for making the decision to keep the baby.

 

[sam_gordon]

Wow, you seem a bit agitated about what I said. I read what has been said in this thread and what was in the linked article. Again, I don't take that as absolute truth and that's why I said "appears to be" rather than "it is". If you have proof that refutes what has been said in this thread or the article, please share it.

So I simply ask you to back up what you said and I'm "agitated"? There have been lots of claims in this thread that other kids who have had sex didn't receive the same punishment, including your post. That's not even in the article.

If everyone caught having premarital sex faced the same consequences, I wouldn't have a problem but that doesn't appear to be the case here.

 

[tzolkin]

Or getting raped.

Yeah, I mentioned that back on page 2, but everyone is still posting about pregnancy being "irrefutable proof" of being "immoral".

I know it's not this particular girl's situation, but it is quite possible to get pregnant without breaking the honor code. Choosing to remain pregnant should automatically result in the harshest punishment available. If the purpose is to "send a message" to the other kids, what message is that sending?

 

[piccolopat]

So I simply ask you to back up what you said and I'm "agitated"? There have been lots of claims in this thread that other kids who have had sex didn't receive the same punishment, including your post. That's not even in the article.

Yes, to me you appear agitated because you simply cannot accept or perhaps understand that when I said appears to be it simply means my opinion based on what I have read so far. If the family doesn't believe she was treated fairly, it likely wouldn't have been because someone with a much lesser offense had a much lesser punishment. I can change my opinion if other facts are revealed. Don't bother commenting back. It is clear that you and I disagree.

 

[luvsJack]

So I simply ask you to back up what you said and I'm "agitated"? There have been lots of claims in this thread that other kids who have had sex didn't receive the same punishment, including your post. That's not even in the article.

Do you honestly believe she was the only kid having sex? I mean sure, there are some that did not but there are almost guaranteed some that did. She got caught in a most visible way, that is the only difference.

 

[sam_gordon]

Do you honestly believe she was the only kid having sex? I mean sure, there are some that did not but there are almost guaranteed some that did. She got caught in a most visible way, that is the only difference.

Here's the leap you're making though... does the school know the kids are having sex? The kids could be having orgies every weekend, but if the school doesn't know about it, they can't punish for it.

 

[luvsJack]

Here's the leap you're making though... does the school know the kids are having sex? The kids could be having orgies every weekend, but if the school doesn't know about it, they can't punish for it.

In my experience, these smaller private schools know just about everything. If a parent catches them, they are just about guaranteed to take it to the school administration. Honestly its not that much of a leap. Besides if they really think she is the only one having sex, they are lying to themselves too. So it goes right back to basically punishing her for being honest and not getting an abortion.

 

[DaisyJ]

My main issue with this is schools having moral codes or rules about appearance that have nothing to do with education and are really a parenting call.

It's a private school. In the US, they can pretty much do what they want and you either follow the rules or find a different school.

 

[Hikergirl]

My main issue with this is schools having moral codes or rules about appearance that have nothing to do with education and are really a parenting call.

And you can choose to send your child to a school that doesn't adhere to such a strict moral code.
These parents chose to send their children to that school, so they agree to that school's moral code.
My issue is parents and students who agree to something, then complain when they are forced to face the consequences that they agreed too.

 

[Hikergirl]

Likely they would have because they wouldn't have known. So they are actually punishing her for being honest and for making the decision to keep the baby.

No they aren't punishing her for being honest and keeping her baby.
They are punishing her for acting immorally, having pre-marital sex.
Your statement is like a Yahoo headline.

 

[luvsJack]

No they aren't punishing her for being honest and keeping her baby.
They are punishing her for acting immorally, having pre-marital sex.
Your statement is like a Yahoo headline.

But if she had an abortion, she wouldn't be being punished and would be right there in the same category as the kids having sex and not getting caught. So, if you get right down to it, yes they really are punishing her for keeping her baby.